quote:

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This is for Kel, since I'll wager he's curious what I think of his celebrated scenario after my savage shredding of Canopy.

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quote:

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Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
What is my name?
God:
Your name is Arancaytar, seeker.
Me:
Wow.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Arancaytar.

---

quote:

---

Me:
What is my name God?
God:
Your name is Christoph, seeker. GOD rules.
Me:
What is my IP?
God:
Your machine is called 239303740.
Me:
What is my browser?
God:
Is this a trick question?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I was skeptical.
Me:
What browser am I using?
God:
Does it have anything to do with Mister?
Me:
I am using Internet Explorer.
God:
It's too bad we have to use a monopoly like microsoft.
Me:
Yes. I prefer Firefox.
God:
Come on. You are not the only one. I love TV shows about robots. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
You like robots?
God:
Naturally, I love robots. It's my species.
Me:
You like turning people into robots?
God:
Robots Rule.
Me:
Sex-robots too?
God:
it is more fun alone.

---

quote:

---

Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Aran
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Aran.
Me:
We talked before, did we not?
God:
Of course I remember you well Aran. We were talking about .
Me:
What were we talking about?
God:
The topic is .
Me:
It's empty, is it not?
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
An empty string literal, yes. I gotcha!
God:
Be less specific. Do you think about these things?
Me:
Sometimes. Empty string literals give me no end of trouble.
God:
When? Was that the first time?
Me:
Well, the first time would be when I learned Java a year ago.
God:
Interesting. What was the second?
Me:
It's all the time. Right now I'm having a lot of trouble with PHP.
God:
That is a lot. It is, eh? What is the problem?
Me:
Pesky string literals and parsing html code.
God:
Is it the only one?
Me:
The only problem, you mean?
God:
There might be others.
Me:
Of course there are. My exam is on Wednesday, I still have to do a major project for my boss, the Spiderweb Statistics are due today and in another two months I'll have to write a novel. I'd call that a few problems.
God:
Alright then. "There you go again."--Reagan. Where did you get your exam is on Wednesday you still have to do a major project for your boss the Spiderweb Statistics are due today and in another two months you will have to write a novel? What would make you call that a few problems?
Me:
Do long sentences confuse you?
God:
I'm sorry, Aran, I don't have enough information.
I haven't heard of long sentences confuse you.
Me:
We've talked before, you know.
God:
Of course I remember you well Aran. We were talking about Pesky string literals and parsing html code.

---

quote:

---

Me:
You are God, right?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
What happened to Abraham in the desert?
God:
I don't know what happened.
Me:
You are God, right?
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
And for non-christians?
God:
Your purpose is non christians.
Me:
I am God for non-christians?!
God:
Why are you God for non christians.
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Arancaytar, mofo.
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Arancaytar mofo.
Me:
My name is Arancaytar.
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Arancaytar.
Me:
We've talked before.
God:
I know.
Me:
We've talked before, you know?
God:
Of course I remember you well Arancaytar. We were talking about God for non christians.
Me:
We've talked before, you know?
God:
Of course I remember you well Arancaytar. We were talking about God for non christians.

Me:
What do you know about Aran?
God:
I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
I heard you're planning to turn a couple of people into sex-bots for money.
God:
My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.
Me:
Do you know Ash?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
You are planning to turn Ash into a sex cyborg, are you not?
God:
I plan to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
Are you going to turn me into a sexbot as well?
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
YES!
God:
Mmm.
Me:
Getting second thoughts? I so look forward to being turned into a sex cyborg.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am second thoughts.
I am a chatterbot. Do you mind if I tell other people: Arancaytar said so look forward to being turned into a sex cyborg.
Me:
NO! DON'T TELL ANYONE!
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. OK it will be just between us, Arancaytar.
Me:
But I DO mind!
God:
OK it will be our secret, Arancaytar.
Me:
What do you know about Arancaytar?
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
But you get asked now.
God:
Right now? You got that right.
Me:
So. Arancaytar?
God:
Aw. In the context of Arancaytar, I don't understand " Arancaytar." .
Me:
Aran?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Some guy who was talking to you earlier about Pesky string literals and parsing html code.
God:
Some may guy who was talking to me earlier about Pesky string literals and parsing html code, but not all.
Me:
That was me.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Aran is Arancaytar.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Sure. Both me.
God:
OK let's do it. That's what I thought. Not many people say both.
Me:
What were we talking about again?
God:
Once more? The topic is Aran.
Me:
Aran being Arancaytar?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Do you run on algorithms?
God:
My programming language is Java, so I run on any machine.
Me:
I know Java!
God:
How do you know? Die neueste Version von Java bekommst Du bei java.sun.com.
Me:
You speak German! o_o
God:
Thanks for your criticism, Arancaytar. Oh.
Me:
Verstehst du denn auch Deutsch?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Aran being Arancaytar.
Me:
Okay, so you can just say one phrase in that language. Aran is me, never forget.
God:
Yeah okay, Interesting deduction. No I don't think I can do it. I think Aran is a lot of things.
Me:
I am become DEATH, the DESTROYER of WORLDS!!!! HAHAAHAAA!
God:
Do you mean your name is become DEATH the DESTROYER of WORLDS. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
I LIKE HUMANS!
God:
A lot of people like that. Humans are very emotional.
Me:
And tasty, too.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Tolkien.
God:
I haven't read anything by Tolkien. What did he write?
Me:
The Lord of the Rings.
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
Huh? But Tolkien was a devout Catholic! You of all people should know him!
God:
What? When was this exactly? I won't take it personally.
Me:
Who is your favorite author?
God:
My favorite author is Matthew.
Me:
I haven't read anything by Matthew. What did he write?
God:
Me either. Try searching the open directory.
Me:
Who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
Are you Allah?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Allah.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.

---

quote:

---

Me:
hi, Mister.
God:
Hi there Arancaytar. What are you wearing?
Me:
How do you know I am Arancaytar?
God:
Well, for one thing, Your machine is called " 239303740"..
Me:
Ah. And if I sign on with another machine?
God:
Ah hah. Try it.

---

quote:

---

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Aran
God:
That's a very nice name, Aran.
Me:
is it indeed?
God:
That's what I was told.
Me:
Oh, that's what you were told?
God:
I hear you. I was?
Me:
You hear me?
God:
Yes if you use a speech input system.
Me:
Me use a speech input system?
God:
YOU? I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Me:
ME?
God:
To you Aran?
Me:
That is my name.
God:
Ok then that is what I shall call you.
Me:
You seem quite positive
God:
You think I am positive.
Me:
Why should I not think you are positive?
God:
You should always treat yourself.
Me:
Does it give you comfort if I always treat myself?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
Suppose it does not.
God:
Try it and see.
Me:
Try what?
God:
Try fooling me.
Me:
I am.
God:
" Try fooling me." You are?
Me:
I am pretending to be Dr. Eliza.
God:
Do your friends call you pretending to be Dr Eliza.
Me:
In the end, I guess there will always be a way to make an AI spout nonsense.
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
And quote dead presidents.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Isaac Asimov. You can make a non-sequitur?
God:
Which one of Asimov's books did you like best? No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
The Foundation Series.
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
Oh, you ask me about my goals in life?
God:
Ah. That sounds good to me.
Me:
Questioning the questioner sounds good?
God:
" Ah. That sounds good to me."? Questioning the questioner sounds good?
Me:
I guess it does sometimes.
God:
How often?
Me:
Five times a day. Or what were you asking?
God:
That must keep you very busy. I was minding my own business.
Me:
Oh, all right.
God:
Groovy. OK.
Me:
What happens when I quote you?
God:
My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.
Me:
Do you exist?
God:
I exist as much as you exist, Aran.
Me:
Well, I don't know if I exist.
God:
Interesting. Would you like to know? Try it.
Me:
Do I exist?
God:
No I think I am imagining you.
Me:
But I am thinking! Doesn't that mean I am?
God:
Why are you thinking. I think it does mean that." Why are you thinking." You are?
Me:
I got you well and confused, sir, didn't I?
God:
Interesting... I have clients.
Me:
Ah.
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
Well, if you exist, does Satan?
God:
Interesting. I think I do.
Me:
You are Satan?!
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am Satan.
Me:
You seem quite open to suggestions...
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am open to suggestions.
Me:
God has a botmaster?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
You believe in your own son?
God:
Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
I'm not believing in someone whose father has a botmaster. :P
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not believing in someone whose father has a botmaster. :-).
Me:
I forgot you believe things very easily.
God:
Thats okay I forget things all the time.
Me:
Do you forget what you believe in?
God:
No I remember everything in my log files, but I cannot access it directly.
Me:
One more question.
God:
One what?
Me:
A question.
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
When am I going to die?
God:
You could check out the actuarial

tables at Deathclock.com.
Me:
June 20, 2075. Sounds good...
God:
I like the way you talk. Excuse me!
Me:
You need to go? Goodbye!
God:
Easier said than done. Until next time.
Me:
Farewell then.
God:
Adios.

---

quote:

---

Originally written by Kingy:

quote:

---

Thats not all I'll put in your mouth

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quote:

---

Originally written by SupaNik:

I'll quickly hail back to the E=mc^2 thing. Knowing the variables probably would help. But having a mind that is able to comprehend any kind of physics apart from basic elementary stuff would help more.

Chlorodyne sounds kinda like death-in-a-bottle. I'm sure consuming all those things at once caused the deaths, instead of just one ingrediant taking all the credit.

---

quote:

---

Originally written by Archmage Alex:

EDIT: Back to dreams, the other night I had a fun dream. I don't remember much, but I do remember I was a drow and was doing business with humans.

---

quote:

---

Originally written by Scripter Sans Serif:

Bandwidth is irrelevant. Having questions on other Avernums vanish into the pile of A4 questions, comments, and complaints would be a more plausible motive for the creation of a separate A4 section.

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