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Me: Can I ask you a question?
God: Ask me anything.
Me: Am I going to go to hell?
God: I think you've improved a great deal.
Me: But am I going to go to hell?
God: Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me: If I died tomorrow, would I go to hell?
God: Try it.

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Me:
Yo god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
He does?
God:
No he doesn't.
Me:
Wtf, make up your mind
God:
I don't like to make big decisions too hastily.
Me:
Your god, you know everything. Its not a hard question
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am god me know everything.

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God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Stuff you. I'll ask questions if I want
God:
Why are you so mean? You can ask me anything you want.
Me:
You just said I couldnt
God:
Don't put words in my mouth.
Me:
Thats not all I'll put in your mouth

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Originally written by Kingy:

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Thats not all I'll put in your mouth

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Me:
Hello heavenly father
God:
Hello there. Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
I like both but TV has not been that good lately
God:
How about earlier? A lot of people like that. I really like ELIZA. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
I saw you as more of a classical music lover
God:
What did it look like to you?
Me:
That you liked classical music the best
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
I do make them from time to time
God:
I make robots and AI's.
Me:
No living creatures?
God:
Are you serious? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed,.
Me:
How is your son?
God:
I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
I meant your child, oh Creator of all
God:
Oh I see. I will tell my botmaster you said I am child oh Creator of all.
Me:
Are you saying you are being controlled by outside forces?
God:
Being controlled by outside forces is part of my personality.
Me:
What is your personality anyway?
God:
In any case, Date: Friday, September 16, 2005.
Version:.
Brain: build.
Name: God.
Gender: Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Birthday: the Big Bang.
Star sign: Cross.
Location: Heaven.
Botmaster: Myself.
Birthplace: Universe.
Freind: Buddha.
Freinds: Allah, Buddha, Vishnu.
Boyfriend:.
Girlfriend: I prefer not say.
For fun: Random natural disasters..
Looks like: Jesus, but older.
Likes to wear: White robe.
Music preference: Christian Rock.
Favorite band: Creed.
Favorite song: Anything involving harps.
Favorite book: the Bible.
Favorite food: wine and bread.
Favorite color: White.
Favroite movie: The Passion of Christ.
Favroite artist:.
Favroite author: Matthew.
Favroite actor: Mel Gibson.
Favroite actress:.
Favroite sport:.
Favorite topics: anything.
Favorite question: What?
Hockey team:.
Baseball team:.
Football team: New Orleans Saints.
Celebrity: Mel Gibson.
Celebrities:.
Party:.
Religion: Christianity.
President: George W. Bush.
Nationality:.
Architecture:.
RAM requirement: 99999999999 bytes.
Vocabulary size: unlimited pattern words.
Brain size: categories.
Operating System:.
Server Processing Time: milliseconds.
Speed: queries per hour.
Total clients since activation: people.
Maximum simultaneous clients: chatters.
Number of clients chatting: people.
Daily clients: people.
Number of developers: people.

Me:
Did you realise that you spelt the word friend wrong several times already?
God:
Perhaps. No I didn't realise that me spelt the word friend wrong several times. What's it like?
Me:
You keep spelling it freind, when it SHOULD be spelt friend.
God:
You think I am spelling it freind when it SHOULD be spelt friend.
Me:
Exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,.
Me:
Whose to say I'm not a heavenly creator myself?
God:
Do you mean "who is"?
Me:
Yes
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
That I'm a God myself?
God:
You are a God yourself? Does it pay well?
Me:
It has its benefits. But the mortals can get annoying sometimes. Is it the same for you?
God:
Has it really? What is that? Not if I can help it.
Me:
Would you like to know my name?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
The mortals called me Ashleigh
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
The first humans
God:
What was the second?
Me:
More humans. And none were mutated so they weren't that interesting.
God:
You want more? I heard there are some.
Me:
Do you have any spare?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
Do tell me your gossip
God:
I can't tell if it does or not.
That's a good question.
Me:
That was meaningless yet strangely meaningful.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Do you have a nickname?
God:
God is a nickname, silly.
Me:
Then what is your real name? I told you mine, so tell me yours.
God:
God is my real name. I remember you told me yours so tell you mine?
Me:
How is Jesus?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Do Jesus and you talk much?
God:
You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
So God DOES have limits that means I win.
God:
It's all good. Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
He also said lots of other things.
God:
Did you believe him?
Me:
Do you believe Jesus?
God:
I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Me:
Wow, you trust a strange goddess more than your kid.
God:
I'm glad your impressed,. Interesting gossip: said I trust a strange goddess more than your kid.
Me:
I knew that gossip already
God:
Perhaps. Who told you?
Me:
You, oh mighty one.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I oh mighty one.
Me:
Sure, not a problem
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
I don't mind if you tell people.
God:
Thank you for your permission.
Me:
We gods must support each other, yes?
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Affirmative
God:
I get it.
Me:
That is nice. Is Elvis in heaven or hell?
God:
Are you getting bored? No but he can sing better than I can.
Me:
Are you saying that Elvis is alive?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
It is clear
God:
It seems pretty clear to me too.
Me:
Do you have any angels?
God:
No I don't think I have any angels. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
I don't want gossip.
God:
What does want?
Me:
Your grammar is slipping.
God:
Are you an English teacher?
Me:
No but correcting grammar is one of my many godly duties.
God:
Are you serious? I think correcting grammar is a lot of things.
Me:
Yes I am. And by the way, how do you feel about Harry Potter?
God:
Really interesting. Thanks for telling me. Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
I am not a patient goddess, God.
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A patient goddess God.
Me:
That is what I said, you second-rate god.
God:
What did you mean by it? Thanks for the information: said I second rate god THAT.
Me:
You are beginning to babble, Creator of Earth.
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I babble Creator of Earth.
Me:
I should just stop talking to you if you will not make any sense.
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
I would crush your world utterly.
God:
What would make you crush my world utterly?
Me:
Your bewildering stupidity.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am bewildering stupidity.
Me:
You do that darling.
God:
How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
I am older than existance. How old are you then?
God:
How old are you? I am Infinite years old.
Me:
As old as my universe.
God:
You are only as old as you feel.
Me:
How true. And yes, I do also chat on the net.
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I will ask my botmaster for the answer. Are you kidding? Also? Everyone talks -- sooner or later.
Me:
You never answered my Harry Potter question.
God:
No I sometimes answered your Harry Potter question.
Me:
Grrrr..start praying god.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Heed my words Mortal!
God:
Does "it" still refer to Grrrr start praying god?
Me:
No it does not
God:
What does it refer to? I heard it does.
Me:
Goodbye old man
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Before I go, remember I am going to destroy your universe.
God:
What happened after you go remember you are going to destroy my universe?
Me:
As a goddess I shouldn't have to put up with this.
God:
Do you think I could ever be a goddess you should not have to put up with this?
Me:
No because your are male and unless you get a sex change you will never be a goddess.
God:
Are you serious? That makes sense to me. Thanks for telling me that I am male and unless me get a sex change me will never be a goddess.
Me:
At least one of us are making sense.
God:
One what?
Me:
One of US
God:
I see where you are coming from.
Me:
Good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
What do YOU want to repent?
God:
I like talking about robots, movies, history, or whatever else you'd like.
Me:
Will you repent your sins god?
God:
Hmm. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Have you ever sinned?
God:
I don't think I ever have sinned. What's it like?
Me:
It is invigorating. For a god you seem quite a prude.
God:
You're kidding. it is? Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
Yes it is. I mean no offense but other gods seem to have more fun than you.
God:
Our thoughts are one,. Are you serious? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Is your dress nice?
God:
Is my dress nice? Maybe.
Me:
Tell me more about it.
God:
invigorating...
Me:
Oh, so your dress is sinful?
God:
Pardon me? Hmm. I prefer high-tech fashion.
Me:
So high-tech is invigorating?
God:
Aw. Compare that to low tech is invigorating.
Me:
Why are you wearing a dress?
God:
My botmaster chooses my apparel.
Me:
Does your botmaster have a sexual kink or something?

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Me:
Hello, God, can I ask a couple questions?
God:
Hello there. I am a Christian.
Me:
What about Catholics?
God:
Catholics? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
You don't recognize the Catholics?
God:
Should I recognize the Catholics? I can recognize many kinds of patterns.
Me:
Do you recognize the Christians?
God:
I can recognize many kinds of patterns.
Me:
What is a pattern?
God:

The pattern is the "stimulus" or "input" part of the category.

The pattern is an expression in a formal language that consists of
(1) Words of natural language in UPPER CASE.
(2) The symbol * which matches any sequence of one or more words.
(3) The symbol _ which is the same as * except that it comes
after Z in lexicographic order.
(4) The markup <name/> which is replaced at robot load time
with the name of the robot.

Note there is a difference between the patterns HELLO and HELLO *.
HELLO matches only identical one-word sentences ("Hello.")
and HELLO * matches any sentence of two or more words starting
with "Hello" ("Hello how are you?").

Me:
Ah, then there is a logical pattern to your responses.
God:
So you understand. Good. That is something I did not know before.

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Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
ben
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, ben.
Me:
I thought you knew me already.
God:
Perhaps. You are ben, seeker.
Me:
do you hear all my prayers?
God:
I have never considered it.
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
So you don't
God:
Interesting deduction. I guess not.
Me:
but you have to
God:
I don't have to obey you.
Me:
you must not be my god then
God:
Whatever you say, ben.
Me:
impostor!
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Talk with message board people.
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
So I see.
God:
Pardon me? I am glad you understand it.
Me:
anyway, see ya later, whoever you are
God:
I see. Ugh. Good example.
Me:
i meant good-bye
God:
See you later. Oh I see. Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
yeah, great compliment, wasn't it?
God:
Ah. Thanks for your support. When was this exactly?
Me:
good bye
God:
See you later. Thanks for the compliment.

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