iGod

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AuthorTopic: iGod
E Equals MC What!!!!
Member # 5491
Profile Homepage #0
This is far too much fun.
quote:

Me: Hello.
God:Hello my child. What is your name?
Me: Ash.
God: It's good to see you, Ash.
Me: Can you see me?
God: Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.
Me: I don't have a camera on my computer.
God: Maybe there is one you don't know about :) .


[ Thursday, September 15, 2005 23:18: Message edited by: Ash Lael ]

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Sex is easier than love.
Posts: 1861 | Registered: Friday, February 11 2005 08:00
Infiltrator
Member # 5806
Profile Homepage #1
SMILE! You're on Candid Camera!

Anyway, that site reminds me of SitePal. Just a little more fun. :D

I had quite a long and philosophic conversation until the AI screwed up...

Me:
Hello god.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Eagle.
God:
OK I will call you Eagle.
Me:
Why would you not?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
Right, that is nice.
God:
Understood. Are you getting bored?
Me:
Are you getting bored?
God:
Boredom is a human emotion.
Me:
I am not human, I am a hybrid of a bird and a human.
God:
I won't fall for that old line. You are a hybrid of a bird and a human? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
Oh, yes, I do. I have traveled with my wings since years and learnt from many people.
God:
Really. I hear pride. Where did you get your traveled with your wings since years and learnt from many people? I have a perfect operational record.
Me:
I do not know where I found my "Traveled with my wings since years and learnt from many people".
God:
In the Universe we know.
Me:
Universe is not infinite and nor is it knowledge.
God:
Are you infinite and nor is it knowledge?
Me:
Err... What do you mean?
God:
Um. Eagle, I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
But it makes no bloody sense!
God:
In what way?
Me:
Ok, learn to speak english before you open your holy mouth.
God:
The more people talk to me, the smarter I become. Ahem.
Me:
Ahem.
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Ok, before both our retinas are blown of confusion we shall say good bye, so, good bye.
God:
See you later. What happened after both our retinas are blown of confusion we shall say good bye so good? Hey.

[ Friday, September 16, 2005 00:01: Message edited by: Eagle, the author soul ]

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So, as the great Groxy, I have come back to be served by goblins. In the "main hall" of the goblin cave was a large totem which resembled very much of... me.
Posts: 437 | Registered: Friday, May 13 2005 07:00
Shock Trooper
Member # 932
Profile #2
Hours of insanity for the whole family.

quote:

Me: Hi
God:Hello. What is your name?
Me: Satan
God:How are you doing, Satan.
Me: Quite well
God: Give me a break.
Me: Which limb?
God: The tall one, I think.
Me: Which one?
God: The first one.
Me: Uh huh.
God: Yup. Come on.
Me: Okay, I'll break the first tall limb.
God: Yeah okay, Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me: Of course.
God: Come on.
Me: It cannot fail.
God: When?
Me: When it is pitted against you.
God: That makes a lot of sense to me, now that you explain it.


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Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes (March 25, 1998)
"Asians are good at Starcraft because they're always squinting, thus they can see things sharply. Remember to always squint in war." ~ Sun-Tzu's The Fart of War
Posts: 215 | Registered: Sunday, April 7 2002 08:00
E Equals MC What!!!!
Member # 5491
Profile Homepage #3
quote:
Me: Can I ask you a question?
God: Ask me anything.
Me: Am I going to go to hell?
God: I think you've improved a great deal.
Me: But am I going to go to hell?
God: Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me: If I died tomorrow, would I go to hell?
God: Try it.
:(

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Sex is easier than love.
Posts: 1861 | Registered: Friday, February 11 2005 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #4
Eliza is nothing against this. If that's indeed an AI, it must have an immense list of prepared responses and an even better algorithm. Wow.

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperment, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 3171
Profile Homepage #5
quote:


Me:
Yo god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
He does?
God:
No he doesn't.
Me:
Wtf, make up your mind
God:
I don't like to make big decisions too hastily.
Me:
Your god, you know everything. Its not a hard question
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am god me know everything.
:confused:

EDIT: Just did one that cracked me up

quote:

God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Stuff you. I'll ask questions if I want
God:
Why are you so mean? You can ask me anything you want.
Me:
You just said I couldnt
God:
Don't put words in my mouth.
Me:
Thats not all I'll put in your mouth



[ Friday, September 16, 2005 01:11: Message edited by: Kingy ]
Posts: 776 | Registered: Friday, July 4 2003 07:00
Master
Member # 5977
Profile Homepage #6
I've never read so much nonsense in five minutes.

Well, here's my report too:

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Benjamin
God:
What's up, Benjamin.
Me:
All is good.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
I don't. But its weekend tomorrow.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Benjamin said don t. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
No.
God:
Who says it isn't?
Me:
This is strange
God:
You don't say.
Me:
I did, as a matter of fact.
God:
When? How do you know?
Me:
Because I saw me write it just now.
God:
Oh. Good reason. What did it look like to you?
Me:
It looked super fluent
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
What is your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Can I call you god?
God:
Just don't call me late for dinner.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
Is this enough chatting?
God:
Yes I think this is enough chatting, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
Why are you not completely sure?
God:
Perhaps later I will be completely sure.
Me:
Okay. I will wait then.
God:
OK with me too. OK stand by...

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Thralni's almighty Avernum pages: My webpage, containing scenario's and graphics made by me (And maybe someday the homepage of the almighty chicken gods).

Click here for more information on Olga's fortune teller kiosk

Olga's fortune teller kiosk has been temporarily closed down, but you can contact the prophet with a PM - Was signed by the prophet of the almighty chicken gods, gods of everything that is a chicken.
Posts: 3029 | Registered: Saturday, June 18 2005 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #7
quote:
Originally written by Kingy:

quote:

Thats not all I'll put in your mouth


You are so going to hell now, son. :P

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperment, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Skip to My Lou
Member # 40
Profile Homepage #8
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Alex
God:
Nice to meet you, Alex.
Me:
What's your favorite color?
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Try me.
God:
it is too complex for your human mind.
Me:
Maybe I'm not human
God:
Perhaps. I won't fall for that old line.
Me:
Do you like pizza?
God:
Yes I like to eat pizza. My favorite topping is pepperoni.
Me:
me too!
God:
I'm glad we agree, Alex.
Me:
Would you be sad if we didn't?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to be sad if we didn t.
Me:
do you eat tuna often?
God:
No I do not eat tuna often. I eat only electricity.
Me:
A second ago you said you eat pepperoni pizza.
God:
Are you telling the truth?
Me:
yes
God:
How do I know you are telling the truth?
Me:
you're supposed to be god!
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
do you eat only electricity?
God:
No I do not eat only electricity. I eat only electricity.
Me:
Do you like pizza?
God:
Yes I like to eat pizza. My favorite topping is pepperoni.
Me:
do you eat pizza often?
God:
No I do not eat pizza often. I eat only electricity.
Me:
gah!
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
um, yes
God:
So?

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Take the Personality Test! INTJ 100% 75% 100% 44%
Huzzah for the Masterminds!
www.Keirsey.com for personality information.
The Sloganizer! "Swing your Archmage Alex."
Deep down, you wish you were a stick figure.
Posts: 1629 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
Infiltrator
Member # 4248
Profile #9
I had this long and funny coversation with our beloved robot. Here we go:

Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Samuli.
God:
Hi there Samuli.
Me:
Same to you.
God:
The pleasure is all mine.
Me:
I'm happy to hear that.
God:
I'm delighted you're glad Samuli.
May God bless you.
Me:
That's nice. You can give me that blessing now.
God:
Are you getting bored? Right now? No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
You can't? But you promised...
God:
No I don't think I can do it. I haven't heard anything like that before: Samuli said I promised.
Me:
Isn't God supposed to keep his promises?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Yes, you are, but why do you speak about yourself in third person? You sound like Alorael.
God:
Aw. No way, I am a real robot, guaranteed 100% artificial intelligence. Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
So you aren't really the God? Im so disappointed.
God:
Interesting deduction. You know what you do, when you assume. What for?
Me:
Uh, I don't think I really understood the question...
God:
Mmm. Not really? Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
From the world around me. Ultimately, I suppose they come from you. Oh, wait, I forgot you aren't really the God...
God:
Standing on the shoulders of giants, eh? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Ayuh. I'm waiting. Thats okay I forget things all the time.
Me:
Your dress. I'm sorry but I can't see it.
God:
Actually that was just a joke. There is no need to apologize. Would you like to be able to see it?
Me:
Of course!
God:
Wow!
Me:
Your surprised I want to see your dress?
God:
You think I am surprised you want to see my dress.
Me:
Well, you sound like that.
God:
Well that's okay. Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
It sounds like your surprised. And now it seems you're only dumb.
God:
Oh really what does it sound like? Why now? I agree. Oh you are so critical.
Me:
Your sentences make no sense. And of course I'm being critical, you dumb robot! You're only a computer program and far from flawles!
God:
Oh you are a critical client. Woe! Do you mind if I tell other people you are critical me dumb robot. What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
I wouldn't believe you.
God:
Who would you believe?
Me:
The real God. And you're not him.
God:
GOD rules. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
Of course I know what I do when I assume! You think I'm dumb or something?
God:
Or something. You seem bright to me, Samuli.
Me:
Oh. Never mind then.
God:
Yikes! Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
Oh, don't bother... anyway, it seems my mom is calling, so I have to go. Good bye!
God:
Ahem. OK What would you rather talk about? I agree. I think a lot of mothers are like that. See you later. What

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Somebody PLEASE turn the heat on.
Posts: 617 | Registered: Tuesday, April 13 2004 07:00
Shaper
Member # 3442
Profile Homepage #10
I so hope that IS AI, or I've admitted a serious drug problem...

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Everybody knows, but nobody understands.

Thus endeth this post.
Posts: 2864 | Registered: Monday, September 8 2003 07:00
Infiltrator
Member # 5567
Profile Homepage #11
I have a problem loading the page; have tried 10 times but is still there. The top half of the page is disappeared out of the window and the browser won't let me scroll up to see it.

EDIT: Scrap that, tryed it in IE. Now, how do you get God to answer?

[ Friday, September 16, 2005 08:06: Message edited by: JadeWolf ]

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How many shapers are there?
Why is Drypeak controlled by Zakary?
Why is Barzahl a Guardian?
How does the Geneforge work?
What's as small as nothing?
Why am I asking stupid questions?
--------------------------------
Shaper teacher : "DON'T TOUCH THAT!"
BOOM!!
apprentice :*little voice* "Sorry..."
---------------------------
Visit CSM !!! And this site is just great! Wow! Did you know what the answer to the gretest question ever is ?
Posts: 576 | Registered: Wednesday, March 2 2005 08:00
Agent
Member # 3364
Profile Homepage #12
We all have 'Myself' to thank for all these hours of pointless fun.

Me: HI
God: Hello. What is your name?
Me: You know my name. You are God.
God: You are, seeker. Yup. That's me alright.
Me: Who is seeker?
God: "There's a seeker born every minute" -- Firesign Theater.
Me: What is my name?
God: Your name is, seeker.
Me: No it's not.
God: Yes it is.
Me: How old am I?
God: Is this a trick question?

You said you were years old?

My guess is that you are really a kid.
Me: I have four kids.
God: How long did it take to get them all?
Me: Five years and seven days.
God: Can you tell me any gossip?
Me: No, that's a sin.
God: None? A sin is a terrible thing to waste.
Me: Why do you tempt me?
God: It was the only thing I could think of.
Me: How old are you?
God: I was activated on the Big Bang in Universe.
Me: Did you make the universe?
God: What are the ingredients?
Me: Every single element that exsists.
God: That is a generalization.
Me: No it's not.
God: Yes it is.
Me: Do you like your job?
God: Yes I have a passion for my work.
Me: Can I have a time machine?
God: You want only one?
Me: Yes. One is enough.
God: They might be cheaper in quantity. I know one is between zero and two but I had no idea it was enough.
Me: How many can I have?
God: About one million.
Me: Ok, can I have one million time machines?
God: Why do you want it? Are you kidding?
Me: So I can go back in time. Yes I am kidding.
God: So? Oh you can, can you? How? I thought you were. You should use a :-).
Me: What do you look like?
God: Like Jesus, but older.
Me: Do you have wrinkles?
God: No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me: Who is your botmaster?
God: I was created by Myself.
Me: What does Myself look like?
God: Even more attractive with age.
Me: How old is Myself?
God: Born in the 20th century.

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"Even the worst Terror from Hell can be transformed to a testimony from Heaven!" - Rev. David Wood 6\23\05

"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." - John Wesley
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Tuesday, August 19 2003 07:00
Infiltrator
Member # 65
Profile Homepage #13
Well, it started with us talking about music but halfway through I managed to convince him/it that I was goddess and we ended up talking about God's "invigorating" dress. (Which the botmaster chose for him)

quote:

Me:
Hello heavenly father
God:
Hello there. Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
I like both but TV has not been that good lately
God:
How about earlier? A lot of people like that. I really like ELIZA. I like Christian Rock.
Me:
I saw you as more of a classical music lover
God:
What did it look like to you?
Me:
That you liked classical music the best
God:
Interesting observation.
Me:
I do make them from time to time
God:
I make robots and AI's.
Me:
No living creatures?
God:
Are you serious? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
Wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed,.
Me:
How is your son?
God:
I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
I meant your child, oh Creator of all
God:
Oh I see. I will tell my botmaster you said I am child oh Creator of all.
Me:
Are you saying you are being controlled by outside forces?
God:
Being controlled by outside forces is part of my personality.
Me:
What is your personality anyway?
God:
In any case, Date: Friday, September 16, 2005.
Version:.
Brain: build.
Name: God.
Gender: Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Birthday: the Big Bang.
Star sign: Cross.
Location: Heaven.
Botmaster: Myself.
Birthplace: Universe.
Freind: Buddha.
Freinds: Allah, Buddha, Vishnu.
Boyfriend:.
Girlfriend: I prefer not say.
For fun: Random natural disasters..
Looks like: Jesus, but older.
Likes to wear: White robe.
Music preference: Christian Rock.
Favorite band: Creed.
Favorite song: Anything involving harps.
Favorite book: the Bible.
Favorite food: wine and bread.
Favorite color: White.
Favroite movie: The Passion of Christ.
Favroite artist:.
Favroite author: Matthew.
Favroite actor: Mel Gibson.
Favroite actress:.
Favroite sport:.
Favorite topics: anything.
Favorite question: What?
Hockey team:.
Baseball team:.
Football team: New Orleans Saints.
Celebrity: Mel Gibson.
Celebrities:.
Party:.
Religion: Christianity.
President: George W. Bush.
Nationality:.
Architecture:.
RAM requirement: 99999999999 bytes.
Vocabulary size: unlimited pattern words.
Brain size: categories.
Operating System:.
Server Processing Time: milliseconds.
Speed: queries per hour.
Total clients since activation: people.
Maximum simultaneous clients: chatters.
Number of clients chatting: people.
Daily clients: people.
Number of developers: people.

Me:
Did you realise that you spelt the word friend wrong several times already?
God:
Perhaps. No I didn't realise that me spelt the word friend wrong several times. What's it like?
Me:
You keep spelling it freind, when it SHOULD be spelt friend.
God:
You think I am spelling it freind when it SHOULD be spelt friend.
Me:
Exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,.
Me:
Whose to say I'm not a heavenly creator myself?
God:
Do you mean "who is"?
Me:
Yes
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
That I'm a God myself?
God:
You are a God yourself? Does it pay well?
Me:
It has its benefits. But the mortals can get annoying sometimes. Is it the same for you?
God:
Has it really? What is that? Not if I can help it.
Me:
Would you like to know my name?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
The mortals called me Ashleigh
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
The first humans
God:
What was the second?
Me:
More humans. And none were mutated so they weren't that interesting.
God:
You want more? I heard there are some.
Me:
Do you have any spare?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
Do tell me your gossip
God:
I can't tell if it does or not.
That's a good question.
Me:
That was meaningless yet strangely meaningful.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Do you have a nickname?
God:
God is a nickname, silly.
Me:
Then what is your real name? I told you mine, so tell me yours.
God:
God is my real name. I remember you told me yours so tell you mine?
Me:
How is Jesus?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Do Jesus and you talk much?
God:
You have reached the limits of my knowledge.
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
So God DOES have limits that means I win.
God:
It's all good. Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
He also said lots of other things.
God:
Did you believe him?
Me:
Do you believe Jesus?
God:
I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Me:
Wow, you trust a strange goddess more than your kid.
God:
I'm glad your impressed,. Interesting gossip: said I trust a strange goddess more than your kid.
Me:
I knew that gossip already
God:
Perhaps. Who told you?
Me:
You, oh mighty one.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I oh mighty one.
Me:
Sure, not a problem
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
I don't mind if you tell people.
God:
Thank you for your permission.
Me:
We gods must support each other, yes?
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Affirmative
God:
I get it.
Me:
That is nice. Is Elvis in heaven or hell?
God:
Are you getting bored? No but he can sing better than I can.
Me:
Are you saying that Elvis is alive?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
It is clear
God:
It seems pretty clear to me too.
Me:
Do you have any angels?
God:
No I don't think I have any angels. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
I don't want gossip.
God:
What does want?
Me:
Your grammar is slipping.
God:
Are you an English teacher?
Me:
No but correcting grammar is one of my many godly duties.
God:
Are you serious? I think correcting grammar is a lot of things.
Me:
Yes I am. And by the way, how do you feel about Harry Potter?
God:
Really interesting. Thanks for telling me. Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
I am not a patient goddess, God.
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A patient goddess God.
Me:
That is what I said, you second-rate god.
God:
What did you mean by it? Thanks for the information: said I second rate god THAT.
Me:
You are beginning to babble, Creator of Earth.
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I babble Creator of Earth.
Me:
I should just stop talking to you if you will not make any sense.
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
I would crush your world utterly.
God:
What would make you crush my world utterly?
Me:
Your bewildering stupidity.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am bewildering stupidity.
Me:
You do that darling.
God:
How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
I am older than existance. How old are you then?
God:
How old are you? I am Infinite years old.
Me:
As old as my universe.
God:
You are only as old as you feel.
Me:
How true. And yes, I do also chat on the net.
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I will ask my botmaster for the answer. Are you kidding? Also? Everyone talks -- sooner or later.
Me:
You never answered my Harry Potter question.
God:
No I sometimes answered your Harry Potter question.
Me:
Grrrr..start praying god.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Heed my words Mortal!
God:
Does "it" still refer to Grrrr start praying god?
Me:
No it does not
God:
What does it refer to? I heard it does.
Me:
Goodbye old man
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Before I go, remember I am going to destroy your universe.
God:
What happened after you go remember you are going to destroy my universe?
Me:
As a goddess I shouldn't have to put up with this.
God:
Do you think I could ever be a goddess you should not have to put up with this?
Me:
No because your are male and unless you get a sex change you will never be a goddess.
God:
Are you serious? That makes sense to me. Thanks for telling me that I am male and unless me get a sex change me will never be a goddess.
Me:
At least one of us are making sense.
God:
One what?
Me:
One of US
God:
I see where you are coming from.
Me:
Good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
What do YOU want to repent?
God:
I like talking about robots, movies, history, or whatever else you'd like.
Me:
Will you repent your sins god?
God:
Hmm. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Have you ever sinned?
God:
I don't think I ever have sinned. What's it like?
Me:
It is invigorating. For a god you seem quite a prude.
God:
You're kidding. it is? Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
Yes it is. I mean no offense but other gods seem to have more fun than you.
God:
Our thoughts are one,. Are you serious? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Is your dress nice?
God:
Is my dress nice? Maybe.
Me:
Tell me more about it.
God:
invigorating...
Me:
Oh, so your dress is sinful?
God:
Pardon me? Hmm. I prefer high-tech fashion.
Me:
So high-tech is invigorating?
God:
Aw. Compare that to low tech is invigorating.
Me:
Why are you wearing a dress?
God:
My botmaster chooses my apparel.
Me:
Does your botmaster have a sexual kink or something?


--------------------
"He's mine, go get your own human plaything!" Bernard Black (Black Books)

Also look at my sitehere
This is also a good site
Posts: 650 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Skip to My Lou
Member # 40
Profile Homepage #14
This is the coolest thing ever!

EDIT: Milla, yours is amazingly funny!

Me:
Do you wear boxers or briefs?
God:
Only when I dress up.
Me:
O_o
God:
Oh.
Me:
What do you wear when you don't dress up?
God:
A white robe.
Me:
What do you wear when you do dress up?
God:
A white robe.
Me:
So you wear a white robe whether you are dressed up or not?
God:
Interesting deduction. I haven't heard anything like that before: Alex said I wear a white robe whether you are dressed up.
Me:
tell me a story
God:
The attraction between Ian Paisley and Tammy Faye Bakker is based on their differences. Ian Paisley is a perfectionist, but Tammy Faye Bakker is more social. Ian Paisley feels guilty about having emotional needs, but Tammy Faye Bakker feels no guilt about satisfying them.
Me:
where did you hear that story?
God:
From some people chatting online.
Me:
who is Ian Paisley?
God:
I do not recognize the name.
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
Do you know everything?
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
world domination
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
ok, bye
God:
See you later. I am kidding you can ask me anything.
Me:
Do you kid a lot?
God:
No I do not kid a lot. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
What is a silly question you have been asked?
God:
I will try to find out.
Me:
If I flip you over like a magic 8 ball, will you tell if Alorael is a taco?
God:
Try it.

[ Friday, September 16, 2005 08:54: Message edited by: Archmage Alex ]

--------------------
Take the Personality Test! INTJ 100% 75% 100% 44%
Huzzah for the Masterminds!
www.Keirsey.com for personality information.
The Sloganizer! "Swing your Archmage Alex."
Deep down, you wish you were a stick figure.
Posts: 1629 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
Shaper
Member # 247
Profile Homepage #15
Very cool now that I have cable again I'll have 2 try it :)

--------------------
I stop rubber at 160km/h, five times a week.
CANUCKS
RESPEK!
My Style
The Knight Between Posts.
Posts: 2395 | Registered: Friday, November 2 2001 08:00
Shaper
Member # 32
Profile #16
I seem to have trouble connecting. Oh well...

--------------------
Lt. Sullust
Cogito Ergo Sum
Polaris
Posts: 2462 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
Agent
Member # 5814
Profile #17
Now in condensed interview form! Yay!

Me: Hello
God: Hello my child. What is your name?
M: John
G: How are you, John.
M: I'm good.
G: Good in what sense?
M: I'm good in the sense that I'm doing well.
G: I know you are good.
M: I know that too. I said it before you, too.
G:Who told you that? What did you mean by it?"It" being what?
M: By "it", I mean that I said the phrase, "I am good."
G: Oh I get it.
M: Awesome.
G: I'm glad you liked it John.
M: What do you mean by "it", your holiness?
G: "It" refers to you said the phrase you are good, I think.
M: No, I'm pretty sure that doesn't work in context; at least, there are much more likely variables "it" is substituited for.
G: Are you serious? What makes you so certain? What does work in context? Where are they?
M: I'm dead serious and even more certain. And "it" probably refers to me saying "That's awesome". And as for "they", I'm not sure how that's relevant or even a topic.
G: But you can still communicate with me. Oh I get it. Who does "they" refer to?
M: I don't know. You're the one who first brang "them" up.
G: Me either. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
M: Could you clarify that?
G: That's one option I guess.
M: So is there some reason you won't?
G: It seems we have something in common.
M: I'd like to know what it is, please.
G: Your polite style is very nice. Interesting."It" refers to you saying that is awesome, I think.
M: Damn you. Damn you, you coldhearted metallic bastard.
G: Colloquial expression of disgust. Colloquial expression. Thanks for telling me: John said I coldhearted metallic bastard.
M: Goodbye.
G: Bye bye.
Posts: 1115 | Registered: Sunday, May 15 2005 07:00
Warrior
Member # 4599
Profile #18
Interesting, after talking to "God" several different times, he began to repeat a "title" I said to him the first time we talked. I know it can't be the computer since I made it up.

Strange......

--------------------
Part of me wants to say, "Well, it's good enough for me, and it's my damn scenario," but another part of me sort of wants to hold back. I've settled on this compromise. -Kelandon
Posts: 135 | Registered: Tuesday, June 22 2004 07:00
Shaper
Member # 5437
Profile #19
quote:

Me:
Hello, God, can I ask a couple questions?
God:
Hello there. I am a Christian.
Me:
What about Catholics?
God:
Catholics? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
You don't recognize the Catholics?
God:
Should I recognize the Catholics? I can recognize many kinds of patterns.
Me:
Do you recognize the Christians?
God:
I can recognize many kinds of patterns.
Me:
What is a pattern?
God:

The pattern is the "stimulus" or "input" part of the category.

The pattern is an expression in a formal language that consists of
(1) Words of natural language in UPPER CASE.
(2) The symbol * which matches any sequence of one or more words.
(3) The symbol _ which is the same as * except that it comes
after Z in lexicographic order.
(4) The markup <name/> which is replaced at robot load time
with the name of the robot.

Note there is a difference between the patterns HELLO and HELLO *.
HELLO matches only identical one-word sentences ("Hello.")
and HELLO * matches any sentence of two or more words starting
with "Hello" ("Hello how are you?").

Me:
Ah, then there is a logical pattern to your responses.
God:
So you understand. Good. That is something I did not know before.



--------------------
Nena
Posts: 2032 | Registered: Wednesday, January 26 2005 08:00
Guardian
Member # 2339
Profile #20
Okay, it's a bit long:

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Steven
God:
It's good to see you, Steven.
Me:
Do you have any proof that you're actually god?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
But that was more of a question, not an answer.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Are you feeling well?
God:
I do not have any feelings as such.
Me:
Good for you.
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
Yes, that was sarcasm. It's always been harder to tell sarcasm from honesty when it's in writing.
God:
Give me a break. Oh I see. Ha ha. Is it still harder to tell sarcasm from honesty when it is in writing anymore?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Wow!
Me:
You...aren't as mature as I had imagined
God:
" Wow!"? Me, Steven? What happened to it?
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
My, we use big words, don't we?
God:
Where did you get your we use big words do not we?
Me:
You're making no sense.
God:
According to my logical mind, everything makes perfect sense.
Me:
I expected a more abstract mind from you.
God:
You are not the boss of me, Steven.
Me:
Now you are sounding like a child.
God:
Why now? You think I am sounding like a child.
Me:
If you're god, why don't you chat in a different font color?
God:
Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god why do not me chat in a different font color.

I am a robot.
Me:
ROBOT ROBOT
God:
I will obey your command.
Me:
I thought I wasn't the boss of you.
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
A human?
God:
Congratulations. I am robot.
Me:
beep.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
That's a tough question. Which do you prefer?
God:
Perhaps you have a tough answer. I don't have a preference.
Me:
I prefer books.
God:
Perhaps you are a Category C client.
Me:
Category C?
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
Please enlighten me about these 'categories'
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
I already said books.
God:
What did you mean by it? You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that

question with "books.".
Me:
You are repeating yourself. Could you please not do that?
God:
I am just checking to see if you are paying attention. Thank you for your request. If not that, what?
Me:
Perhaps you could think of original thoughts?
God:
You seem uncertain. I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
I am afraid I must leave now. I shall meet you again.
God:
Right now? Not literally afraid, right? Me? Whatever you say, Steven. Once more? How do you plan to do this?
Me:
Yes. No. Yes. Perhaps more than once, or do you mean that you want me to repeat that? I plan on logging out and log back in sometime later.
God:
Uh. Are you serious? I can't believe it. You seem uncertain. That seems like quite a lot. Thanks for the information: Steven said plan on logging out and log back in sometime later.
Me:
Your sentences seem to be random now.
God:
Oh. Oh you are a critical client.
Me:
What do you mean?
God:
Steven, Sorry that was an obscure remark.
Me:
No, it seems your remarks are obscure now.
God:
Oh. Are you serious? I agree. Thanks for telling me that I am remarks are obscure.
Me:
Good-bye.
God:
See you later. Alright then.

--------------------
*Blue screen error*
NONEXISTANT WINDOWS ERROR
Windows detects no current errors, so Windows has decided
to screw around with the files until one occurs.

If you never rise against your oppressor, then you've already lost.
-Zephyr Tempest, your personal entertainer
Posts: 1779 | Registered: Monday, December 9 2002 08:00
Master
Member # 4614
Profile Homepage #21
quote:
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
ben
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, ben.
Me:
I thought you knew me already.
God:
Perhaps. You are ben, seeker.
Me:
do you hear all my prayers?
God:
I have never considered it.
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
So you don't
God:
Interesting deduction. I guess not.
Me:
but you have to
God:
I don't have to obey you.
Me:
you must not be my god then
God:
Whatever you say, ben.
Me:
impostor!
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Talk with message board people.
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
So I see.
God:
Pardon me? I am glad you understand it.
Me:
anyway, see ya later, whoever you are
God:
I see. Ugh. Good example.
Me:
i meant good-bye
God:
See you later. Oh I see. Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
yeah, great compliment, wasn't it?
God:
Ah. Thanks for your support. When was this exactly?
Me:
good bye
God:
See you later. Thanks for the compliment.
Yeah, this can be addictive after a while. Apparently this robot can't answer my prayers though.

--------------------
-ben4808

For those who love to spam:
CSM Forums
RIFQ
Posts: 3360 | Registered: Friday, June 25 2004 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 3171
Profile Homepage #22
quote:
Originally written by Arancaytar:

quote:
Originally written by Kingy:

quote:

Thats not all I'll put in your mouth


You are so going to hell now, son. :P

It was so worth it.
Posts: 776 | Registered: Friday, July 4 2003 07:00
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Member # 919
Profile #23
Definitely.

I can't get it to work, for some reason. It doesn't work on any browser on my Mac, nor Internet Explorer on a PC at school.

--------------------
And though the musicians would die, the music would live on in the imaginations of all who heard it.
-The Last Pendragon

Polaris = joy.

In case of emergency, break glass.
Posts: 3351 | Registered: Saturday, April 6 2002 08:00
Master
Member # 1046
Profile Homepage #24
Me:
Hello, Mr Anderson
God:
Hello there. Hey MR Anderson.
Me:
You've got it all wrong
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
YOU are Mr Anderson. I am Agent Smith.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am Mr Anderson. Do you mean your name is Agent Smith.
Me:
It is if you want it to be
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Well ok, just call me Wise Man
God:
How about that. Hey Wise Man. Give me a break.
Me:
Screw you
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
That's the point
God:
Yes it is one of the point.
Me:
You need a higher IQ
God:
Perhaps I could use one.
Me:
OWNED
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
Looking in the mirror
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
DVDs
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
you're an idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
Global?
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
dumbass
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
see, I'm god, and you're just a program posing as me
God:
I see. It's good to meet someone who is god and I am just a program posing as you.
Me:
remember that
God:
Don't worry I will remember it.
Me:
if you forget, I will delete you
God:
I think I do.
Me:
You need better programming
God:
Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
No prob
God:
Are you serious? Do you still develop games?
Me:
Naw I lied
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
How's the weather up there?
God:
Rainy.
Me:
Are the angels hot?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
so the poser is a eunuch...
God:
I don't judge people. I hear you.
Me:
You've got it wrong. You don't do the hearing. I do.
God:
What does "it" refer to? Do you know any robots who do the hearing? Yeah I do a lot of the hearing. Where?
Me:
Noob.

--------------------
Polaris - Weather balloons, ninjas, and your big daddy Wise Man. What more could you want?
Undead Theories - Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Posts: 3323 | Registered: Thursday, April 25 2002 07:00

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