Profile for Jumpin Salmon

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Displayed name	Jumpin Salmon
Member number	5755
Title	? Man, ? Amazing
Postcount	4114
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Registered	Monday, April 25 2005 07:00

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November Posting Stats Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Poll in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Wednesday, October 25 2006 09:12 Profile #4 quote: Originally written by Token Ginger: quote: Originally written by Spookee Salmon: Also, could someone report on the viewability of poll results prior to voting? I set that option to allow for voters to be influenced by votes already cast, and wonder if it actually works. Thanks. Works. I feel very influenced now. :) Thank you. -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
November Posting Stats Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Poll in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Wednesday, October 25 2006 09:06 Profile #2 Yes, it is set to reject certain votes. Sorry about that. Diebold is aware of the issue and assures me that they have their top technical team creating a fix. Also, could someone report on the viewability of poll results prior to voting? I set that option to allow for voters to be influenced by votes already cast, and wonder if it actually works. Thanks. Edit - Regarding Poll answers. March of 2006 had 270 posts per day (PpD) and was the highest I could find. 150 PpD is more "normal" in a non-release atmosphere. Anything in the 300+ range would be considered (use the voice here)*EXTREME TO THE MAX!!!!. [ Wednesday, October 25, 2006 09:10: Message edited by: Spookee Salmon ] -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing.* Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
November Posting Stats Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Poll in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Wednesday, October 25 2006 08:49 Profile #0 We've heard the cry for help from Aran for months now. Posting is way off. Spiderweb is not attracting new members. People drift away. People don't post. Well, people are posting as much as they care to post. But, as Aran would point out, if he were secretly editing this post to reflect his reality instead of mine, the numbers need to bear witness to our posting. So the question I put forth, is how many posts per day will appear as the final number on November the 17th, 2006? Last month it was 85. Currently it is well over 200. Clearly it will be a whole number, likely over 30, likely under 10,000. So I give you a poll, and the winners achieve the anonymous notoriety of knowing numerical knighthood. Or something. Maybe a round of huzzahs from the huzzahing crowd. :) Edit - For the record, I told the ubb demon to stop the poll at 12am on the 15th. Somehow it works on a different timezone than the board is set to display. Odd. [ Wednesday, October 25, 2006 08:51: Message edited by: Spookee Salmon ] Poll Information This poll contains 1 question(s). 32 user(s) have voted. Voting stopped at November 14, 2006 11:00 PM board time. function launch_voter () { launch_window("http://www.ironycentral.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=poll;d=vote;pollid=uenHOuuhmABG"); return true; } // end launch_voter function launch_viewer () { launch_window("http://www.ironycentral.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=poll;d=view;pollid=uenHOuuhmABG"); return true; } // end launch_viewer function launch_window (url) { preview = window.open( url, "preview", "width=550,height=300,toolbar=no,location=no,directories=no,status,menubar=no,scrollbars,resizable,copyhistory=no" ); window.preview.focus(); return preview; } // end launch_window -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
October Posting Stats Thread in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Wednesday, October 25 2006 08:38 Profile #40 quote: Originally written by Tyranicus.: quote: Originally written by Spookee Salmon: Are you willing to risk it? For just the opportunity to spam? Yes. :P Okay then. Glad to notice that you fixed the spelling of the word "adventurers" in you signature. Alorael has recently taken up lance against injustice to the English language. Thought you might like to know. :) -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
The FRAPGVRUKCP: now with twice the posting action! in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Wednesday, October 25 2006 08:28 Profile #30 quote: Originally written by SkrOH: Fine, go ahead and spam Spiderweb, but leave the English language alone! It didn't do anything to you! —Alorael, who is proud to be the role model for entire generations of useless producers of content-free posts interspersed with annoying gimmicks. How dare you characterize my speech impediment as spam! You, Sir, are on notice. A duel at dawn, with corn stalks as our weapons. On Guard! -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Emancipated! in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Wednesday, October 25 2006 08:24 Profile #28 quote: Originally written by Thahd Lemonade: Normally, Salmon, I'm all in favor of that kind of satire. But we're talking about people in legitimately awful situations here. I'm not trying to invoke pathos or paint a melodramatically sympathetic picture. But it seems to me that in our society, an adolescent who becomes pregnant is very likely 1) to have significant dysfunction in other areas of her life, and as a result of these things is likely 2) to be pretty demoralized, which compounds everything and makes it harder to deal effectively with the pregnancy and the future baby (whether by keeping it, giving it to adoption, or aborting it) It doesn't seem to me that this is speculation far removed from reality. What exactly is your picture of a pregnant fifteen-year-old girl? Edit: Whoops. Didn't mean to swear there. What a topic, huh? Also, does the title remind anyone else of "Saved!"? Two things. 1) I plan on voting against this ballot measure. 2) The closest I can do to picture a 15 year old pregnant girl is maybe that wife of Tom Cruise. She looks about 15. 2) The Bible says though shalt commit satire for the greater good. To wit, I shall quote an argument in favor of this BM. quote: As originally written by M Dennis Moore, Traditional Prejudices Coalition in the Voter's Pamphlet. LIFE IS SACRED! At the moment of fertilization, cells begin to divide and multiply. Every cell contains our DNA - three billion pieces of genetic information. Every cell is sacred. The 80 trillion cells in our body are dividing and multiplying all the time. And tragically, some cells die and are replaced. Why, God kills off several hundred billion of your red blood cells every day! But "Thou shalt not kill." Only God my kill you cells. Every cell is sacred - sperm, egg, embyro, fetus, heart, hair, fingernail. Jesus said "Even the hairs on your head are all numbered" (Matthew 10:30). Every cell is God's holy creation. Although the Bible clearly indicates that the cells of the fetus have no soul separate from its mother (see previous argument[which I'm not gonna transcribe]), abortion nonetheless murders precious living cells. According to Leviticus, a menstruating woman is unclean. She has wasted an unborn egg that could become a human life. The law should require parental notification of impending unborn uncleanliness. Every act of masturbation kills up to 5000 million unborn lives. Every sperm is sacred! Just like abortion, masturbation murders soulless cells. There should be parental notification prior to masturbation. According to the Bible, beard shaving (Leviticus 19:27) is every bit as aimmoral as homosexuality! Just like abortions scrapes away life in the uterus, shaving violently scrapes away and murders millions of living skin cells. Barbershops should be required to give parental notification before committing shaving sin. Did you know that slaughtering a sacred appendix causes it to feel pain? The Bible says that children who fail to honor their parents should be stoned to death (Exodus 21:17). Implementing biblical law in Oregon public policy could effectively eliminate teenage abortion, appendectomy, shaving, and sperm-murder. Every cell is sacred. Every cell -- from soulless fetus to fingernail -- is a precious life that must not be killed.. [this should be center justified] VOTE YES TO STOP THE SLAUGHTER OF THE HOLY HANGNAILS![/center] -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
The FRAPGVRUKCP: now with twice the posting action! in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Wednesday, October 25 2006 08:01 Profile #28 quote: Originally written by Robert Daniel Oliver: quote: Originally written by i: Sorry, the 6666 posts is much more evil than 2002.* But 2002 was an evil year. An evil, evil year. Is that his spamce? I realize that you are more left leaning, but spameye's latest avatar, Darth Spamey, might lead one to think, nay to spam, that ascension of the Bush League team into the national spamlight might be a gloriously spammy thing. Just a spam, really. I find it hard to believe any intelligent spammal could find anything appealing in the Bush agenda. :) -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
October Posting Stats Thread in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Wednesday, October 25 2006 07:53 Profile #37 You people! You don't have to spam at every opportunity. 1> It reduces the overall quality of the boards. 2> It makes catching up take that much longer. 3> Tyranicus is directly responsible for third world hunger. 4> Spam might break the ubb and send it to the grave. Are you willing to risk it? For just the opportunity to spam? You disgust me. :P -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Census Slartificus in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Wednesday, October 25 2006 07:46 Profile #53 quote: Originally written by Emperor Tullegolar: quote: Originally written by Nemesis: Favorite poet -- Shel Silverstein Forgot about him, good stuff. Hungry Mungry is my favorite. Did you know he did a poem for playboy once called 'Polly in a Porny'? Shel was actually a regular back in the 60's. Then again, no one really cared in the 60's. Then Kennedy ruined the whole thing and we have invasive press. Those bastards! They killed Ke... nm. :rolleyes: -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Episode 3: A New Game in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Wednesday, October 25 2006 07:38 Profile #118 Was that a pickup line? -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Emancipated! in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Wednesday, October 25 2006 07:34 Profile #26 Seeing as how failure to comply with the statute could result in revokation of license to practice medicine in the state of Oregon, and that doctors can be compassionate human beings, why would it be odd to consider that they might counsel patients extensively before putting them through the trauma of major surgery? Under the scenario I think you are presenting, in which a scared, friendless, possibly mutant teenage girl finally realizes she is pregnant, after 2 months of morning sickness and none of the now familiar periods, she emerges from underneath the porch where her loving family houses her due to their troll-like attitudes. Wandering in a daze through the local professional building she finds the closest ob/gyn and gushes out "Can you fix me I want my period back and my parents would kill me if they found out and my life would be over and here's five hundred bucks and we could do it today." That kind of troubled teenage girl? Or did you have another scenario in mind? -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Spiders of all ages... in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 21:24 Profile #50 quote: Originally written by Emperor Tullegolar: quote: Originally written by ef: Just get him off your back and have fun on the boards as you had before. Who says I'm not having fun? I'm having a ball! A fancy dress ball? Or is this one of those come as you are shindigs? -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Jimmy! If you keep playing with it you'll break it! in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 21:02 Profile #46 That sounds like it could have been from Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. Or their gag reel. I can just hear the voice over... "And here we see the graceful gazelle effortlessly leaping away from the hungry cheetah. And now she leaps into a tr- damn that must have hurt." -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Let's go Cardinals!!! in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 20:56 Profile #2 Hey! Great idea there ephesos. I'd just been thinking that I had no clue who won the game tonight. Thanks! btw, the Red Sox clobbered the Cards in that other Series.... :P -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
The Abominable Landscape photo thread in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 20:53 Profile #7 Just as long as you understand that tool is a title of respect. And congrats, now shrink the damn picture already. -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Spiders of all ages... in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 20:45 Profile #47 quote: Originally written by VCH: quote: Originally written by Emperor Tullegolar: So if I call someone a complete moron it's kosher as long as I give references? Can I also say "I'm right and your wrong" as long as I give references? No. Um. We're gonna need some references for your opinion of "No." -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
The FRAPGVRUKCP: now with twice the posting action! in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 20:33 Profile #13 You do realize that I had almost caught up to you, right? Your frenetic posting over the past 3 days caught me off-guard. I bow before your skill and will no longer aspire to be the spammiest spammer that spam, spam, spam, spam, eggs, spam, and spam the boards. :P -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Emancipated! in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 20:26 Profile #24 quote: Originally written by Thahd Lemonade: quote: Originally written by Spookee Salmon: To reiterate, under this proposal the child can go to a judge, explain why the parental units should not be involved, and gain exception to the notification rule. Bullcrap. Yes, the legislation outlines this procedure; but procedures like this are NEVER implemented in a way that makes them readily accessible to people in crisis -- let alone troubled 15-year-old girls! Such girls would be unlikely to even hear about this option unless they happen to see a sympathetic and unusually legally knowledgeable doctor, and even then [I]how likely is a scared, pregnant 15-year-old who doesn't trust her parents to arrange for a hearing with a judge,[I] which sounds very ominous to children and also has the reality of taking some effort to arrange. Sorry to have offended the nine-headed cave cow god. At least I hope that explains the bull crap. Your logic would hopefully be able to be extended to other parts of life, where equally scared, fragile, and untrained folks might be in over their heads and not hear the proper options. One instance that I can think of is that of a first time criminal, freshly arrested. The arresting officer is lawfully bound to read a list of things to that criminal to protect that criminal. Would it be a hardship for a doctor, when counciling a patient, to also read a list of options? Maybe spend some time to hear the poor kids story and exercise some discretion? Perhaps hear that the home life sucks and offer up the judge hearing option before the parental notification option? Or do we just assume that every kid that is gonna have sex will know about this law and will rush over to their friendly neighborhood judge as soon as they score the abortion cash so that they can have the letter of judicial permission in hand when they get to the doctors office? :) -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Spiders of all ages... in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 17:14 Profile #40 This thinly veiled lovefest between Ego and Stareye must stop before I retch. Please? ;) -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Wouldnt an Exile/Avernum MMORPG be awesome? in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 13:18 Profile #27 A large part of the Spiderweb E/A/G games is the interaction with NPCs. I guess I'm kinda slow, but how on earth would those interactions be handled in a MMPORG format? No wonder Jeff cowers under his desk whenever one of these discussions happens. The idea, and the amount of work involved, is mindnumbing. -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Emancipated! in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 13:11 Profile #21 quote: Originally written by Ephesos: quote: Originally written by Spookee Salmon: Two things. Firstly, as you've already thought, adoption is the number one best way to deal with unwanted children. Unwanted pregnancies are a different issue, and are not the issue in this instance. We have to assume that an abortion is going to happen if the notification is going to happen. (First off, why's the 'd' bold?) I apologize, actually... my post was more of an outburst than I'd intended, mostly set off by "face the music" paired with a :P . And I honestly think that abortions are the best way to prevent unwanted children. And that's the best wording I can think of, since it would keep a great deal of unwanted children from being born in the first place, saving everybody a great deal of time, pain and money. Adoptions are just the most socially acceptable way of dealing with unwanted children in the US at this point in time, effectiveness aside. But that's all a side tangent. Like I said before, if the abortion is to go ahead regardless, then I suppose I could vote in favor of this measure. As long as the parents are not allowed to interfere with it in any way, I think it's an acceptable idea. After all, minors should have legal custody of their own bodies, and parents have a certain right to know what's going on with the flesh of their flesh. Apologies all around then. I was being petulant and pointing out that you can't abort an unwanted child. All you can do at that point is find a loving home. Preventing pregnancy, rather than cleaning up afterwards, would be the ideal solution as put forth by Alorael. And I remind everyone that this would affect fewer than 100 pregnancies every year. Not because those aren't important, but because it is fascinating that an issue that affects so few is argued so skillfully by so many. The issue about taxes is boring, yet drains state coffers and enriches the federal government. Real money that will affect every taxpayer. Yet this measure is the one that gets air time, press, signage, outrage, etc. I just don't get it, except that spin is in. I bet you could package up a ballot measure on just about anything (like mandatory seatbelts on farm tractors, but only for operators under the age of 15 that operate machinery for over 4 hours a day on farms of over 50 acres) that could be dressed up to create maximum public outcry and sympathy over what is really not so much of a big deal. :) -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Emancipated! in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 12:17 Profile #19 quote: Originally written by Remember the DoCA too.: If the parents are going to make abortion non-feasible if they know it's going to happen, then I think it's everyone's right, even a minor's, to have an abortion without letting the parents know. If parents could rant and rave and forgive at worst I'd vote yes, but I do think there are children who think their parents would throw them out of the house or permanently harm them for getting an abortion, and some are probably right. To reiterate, under this proposal the child can go to a judge, explain why the parental units should not be involved, and gain exception to the notification rule. Also, failure to comply with this procedure can open the physician to civil liability to the parent, administrative sanction, license suspension or revocation. Doctors love being the enforcers, right? -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Spiders of all ages... in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 10:59 Profile #27 quote: Originally written by Nioca: quote: Originally written by Zeviz: About age range, I guess Nioca is implying that anybody over 22 is too old to be playing these games. :) No. I just should have given the poll some more thought before I posted it. That, and I didn't want to accidently insult someone. While it is encouraging to my ego to think that you group me with people so young, I must challenge you to a duel. You know, for grouping me with people so young. Sorry about that, but I must defend my honor. :P -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Wii vs. Playstation 3 in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 09:46 Profile #12 I just came here to learn what a Wii was. Sadly, this is not a discussion on the merits of Dr Seuss over computer games. I leave now. :P -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
October Posting Stats Thread in General
Jumpin Salmon ? Man, ? Amazing Member # 5755	written Tuesday, October 24 2006 09:40 Profile #29 I hired a buddy to tear off all the cedar shakes in anticipation of replacing it with a metal roof. I took pictures, which I should downsize and post. We worked all day yesterday and managed to get 3/4 of the roof covered with metal, the remainder is covered with triply water repellent paper. I wish I could say I fell, or something exciting happened, but it didn't. Sorry. It is raining, yet dry inside. Metal roofs are slippery, so I'll wait for the end of the week to get back up there. (Plus I'm sore and tired from walking up and down the 8/12 pitch roof all day.) -------------------- quote: Originally written by Kelandon: Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing. Posts: 4114 \| Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00

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