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What's your best joke? in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Tuesday, October 18 2005 03:46 Profile Homepage #17
quote:
Originally written by Espionage:

These are my two favorite jokes.....Get ready.......

Why did the Scarecrow get a Phd???????
(drumroll)
Because he was outstanding in his field!!!!

A nuetron walks into a bar and asks for a beer
"How much is that" the Nuetron asks
"For you, no charge" replies the Bartender

:D
Those were of the kind that our physics teacher would tell. The sort that makes you groan.

Say them with a Scottish accent.

--

I happen to like UF. So?

[ Tuesday, October 18, 2005 04:02: Message edited by: Atrus ]

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Encyclopaedia Ermariana • Forum Archives • Forum Statistics • RSS [Topic / Forum]
My Blog • Polaris • I eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
This is getting old. in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Monday, October 17 2005 22:54 Profile Homepage #25
If you notice, it is. But the property is not very obvious. 6666, on the other hand, just screams "EVOL!"

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Shall we dance? in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Monday, October 17 2005 08:58 Profile Homepage #30
quote:
Originally written by Drakefyre:

You can run away from someone with a knife without fear of dropping dead, unless they're some sort of expert knife-thrower.
Curiously enough, it isn't all that easy to aim at a running person unless you are at least somewhat experienced in shooting (not that you'd want to take a chance).

However, since there are amazingly many good shots as opposed to expert knife-throwers, the point is taken.

There are some people I might be willing to kill with a spoon. Although generally I'm a very peaceful, non-violent person. :)

[ Monday, October 17, 2005 08:59: Message edited by: Atrus ]

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
This is getting old. in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Monday, October 17 2005 08:54 Profile Homepage #3
quote:
Originally written by Marlenny:

quote:
Originally written by Atrus:

[*]6. Aloreal +140
Shame on you, how could you? after all this time. It's Alorael; think of the order of the vowels A comes before E.
Damn, I sound anoying. Anyways, I can't believe I didn't make top ten; I could've swore this was one of my most spamming months, especially with the boards being so inactive and all. However, I'm not that sad. At least my name is not in the same sentence with some of the people in the list. Yeahh that's right, You know who I'm talking about.
There are some things between accidents and purposeful mischief that I term "incorrigible errors". Sometimes I make a typo that's so funny I can't get myself to fix it when I notice; you ever get that? :P

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"Really, Spiderweb is just a big, steaming pool of estrogen." --- Robin
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
What's your best joke? in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Monday, October 17 2005 08:51 Profile Homepage #6
quote:
Originally written by mung:

heh, fun fun:D

An exceptionally skilled proctologist decided that he hated the life style that he was in. " A man can only take so much of this" and with those last words he left his office never to be seen there again and moved to california to work as a mechanic at a motercycle shop.

But he found that he had no idea how to do anything on a bike let alone fix it. So he decided to take a class. Well, after 3 months of hard work and labor he comes to his final exam.

The instructor says to him, "alright, the gradeing is this, 50 points for takeing it apart, and 50 points for putting it back together...begin" With that the ex-doctor-not-biker sets to work dismantiling the machine and putting it back together again in amazing order.

At the end when he receives his score he is confused...he walks up to the instructor and asks... "sir, could you explain this to me...I thought that the 50 and the 50 would equal 100, yet you gave me a 200?" THe instructor looks at him a bit curiously..."well," he says "I gave you 100 points for doing an outstanding job. Then another 100 for doing it through the tail-pipe."

If anyone's bothered by this just let me know I"ll take it off...but rather funney all the same:D forgive whatever bad spelling you may find please:D
Did he try to anesthesize the bike? :P

No good jokes right now. But a funny cartoon from UserFriendly:

IMAGE(http://www.userfriendly.org/cartoons/archives/99dec/uf001318.gif)

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Encyclopaedia Ermariana • Forum Archives • Forum Statistics • RSS [Topic / Forum]
My Blog • Polaris • I eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
This is getting old. in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Monday, October 17 2005 08:34 Profile Homepage #0
It's amazing that with all I have to do, I still find time to do this kind of thing.

1. Joining Rate

81 new folks, adding up to a total of 6397 - prediction says we'll get to the next desirable number (6666) around christmas unless things pick up again. 43 have posted. Steadily declining trend, although May holds still the record.

Monthly Overview:
April 2005: 151/87
May 2005: 78/43
June 2005: 147/91
July 2005: 153/88
August 2005: 108/62
September 2005: 91/52
October 2005: 81/43

2. Activity

We've managed to break the low record for Active Community though, as only 229 people have posted in the last 30 days. 43 Newbies and 186 older members.

Monthly Overview:
April 2005: 360 (273)
May 2005: 262 (219)
June 2005: 325 (232)
July 2005: 352 (264)
August 2005: 293 (231)
September 2005: 256 (204)
October 2005: 229 (186)

3. Postage

4477 posts, which is *also* the low record. This month is the slowest time Spiderweb has seen in everything except Registration, where it's second slowest. 149.23 posts per day, and 19.55 per member, and 0.65 per member per day.

Monthly Overview:

April 2005: 7576 | 186 | 21 | 0.47
May 2005: 4723 | 169 | 18 | 0.52
June 2005: 7267 | 251 | 22.4 | 0.77
July 2005: 8691 | 271.6 | 24.7 | 0.77
August 2005: 5917 | 190.9 | 20.1 | 0.65
September 2005: 5412 | 174.6 | 21.1 | 0.68
October 2005: 4477 | 149.3 | 19.5 | 0.65

================================

With work/uni beginning again, I amazingly still placed third. Sign of the times.

1. Thuryl +2912. Thralni +2613. Atrus +1624. Ben +1485. Spring +1476. Aloreal +1407. Ephesos +1378. chicho +1259. Skelefrog +12310. Synergy67 +120Edit: List for October 2005

[ Monday, October 17, 2005 08:45: Message edited by: Atrus ]

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"Really, Spiderweb is just a big, steaming pool of estrogen." --- Robin
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Undead Topics Need Loving Too (aka "Give Me Your First-Born") in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Monday, October 17 2005 05:33 Profile Homepage #696
Evil.

Edit: Redundant.

[ Monday, October 17, 2005 05:33: Message edited by: Atrus ]

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Undead Topics Need Loving Too (aka "Give Me Your First-Born") in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Monday, October 17 2005 04:49 Profile Homepage #694
E:T would be Echoes: T- what?

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
A Hypothetical Conceived Whilst Drunk in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Monday, October 17 2005 04:47 Profile Homepage #68
quote:
Originally written by Thralni, emperor of Riverrod:

If you people don't want to feed him then stop saying to each other that you musn't feed him!
If you don't want to annoy him don't speak of him in third person when posting just after him, and... well. I don't know; advice seems pointless. :rolleyes:

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
iCome, iSpam, iWin in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Monday, October 17 2005 00:08 Profile Homepage #147
Done (actually, it was finished some six hours ago, but I only had time to check it now). I'll finish the stats later this evening, too much to do now.

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
iCome, iSpam, iWin in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Sunday, October 16 2005 10:32 Profile Homepage #143
The new count is beginning now, incidentally. :)

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
*Also* in November 2005 in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Sunday, October 16 2005 10:27 Profile Homepage #4
It'd actually be my third try. In 2003, I came up with an idea, but didn't have the time to write. So in 2004, I restarted on that idea and managed to finish. (Very crappy plot ahead). If I get done something new this year, it will be a first.

[ Sunday, October 16, 2005 10:28: Message edited by: Atrus ]

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"Really, Spiderweb is just a big, steaming pool of estrogen." --- Robin
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Even *more* exciting November stuff! in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Sunday, October 16 2005 10:25 Profile Homepage #1
Going to wait for the library to get it. I'm a fan, but not a fanatic.

Still, it's a wonderful story (if mildly tragical) - I really have to read the first three again.

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Where Our Wings Take Dreams in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Sunday, October 16 2005 10:16 Profile Homepage #14
Does this Harlan McCraney not actually exist then? The quotes and the voice overlay sounded authentic; I originally thought it was just the darts bit and the interview "working hard to putting food on my family" that were spoofed (and the debate thing, of course).

Edit: I keep thinking I've seen that guy before somewhere.

[ Sunday, October 16, 2005 10:21: Message edited by: Atrus ]

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperment, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Politics and Beliefs in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Saturday, October 15 2005 03:22 Profile Homepage #160
quote:
Originally written by Jumpin' Salmon:

You're gettin' a little feisty Thuryl. Next you'll be saying that repression of certain documents by a certain church may have caused the stagnation in the post Roman era. Now that would be controversial...

*this message sponsored by sikorsky*
Yes, it's not like fundamentalist dogmatism set civilization back by well over half a millennium or anything, right? :P

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
*Also* in November 2005 in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Saturday, October 15 2005 03:19 Profile Homepage #0
quote:
Originally written by Taiteilijasielu:

The hell? When I saw the title of this topic I thought it'd be about NaNoWriMo. I was hoping someone would post about that. >:\

Now it's just... I don't care. Post a topic about NaNoWriMo! :0
http://www.nanowrimo.org

I didn't post before because I was busy trying to come up with a new idea for this year. But here you go. :)

So. Anyone participating? Anyone know what they are going to write about? I managed 50,021 words last year, but it was positively gruelling and I have less time this year. Eagh.

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"Really, Spiderweb is just a big, steaming pool of estrogen." --- Robin
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
First Kiss in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Saturday, October 15 2005 03:12 Profile Homepage #58
quote:
Originally written by Bender Bending Rodriguez:

Why not? A little bit o' alcohol never hurt anybody.
Kills brain cells even more effectively than TV.

Edit: It's less who he kisses than what he drinks, I imagine. Personally, I don't remember having a hangover in my life, but I've heard they're... unpleasant.

[ Saturday, October 15, 2005 03:14: Message edited by: Atrus ]

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
A Hypothetical Conceived Whilst Drunk in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Saturday, October 15 2005 01:38 Profile Homepage #43
You know, after reading this thread I'm getting a strange stinging feeling in my chest area all of a sudden.

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Where Our Wings Take Dreams in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Saturday, October 15 2005 01:30 Profile Homepage #5
I have no friggin idea what this guy was talking about - but he talked exactly what I wanted to hear. :P

Some of those ideas on the pinwall were hilarious. "Spank", "Urine", "Muffin" and "Lotion". Wonder what kind of speech that would make?

[ Saturday, October 15, 2005 01:32: Message edited by: Atrus ]

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperment, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
The Mountain of Shadows RP in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Friday, October 14 2005 14:02 Profile Homepage #359
What an atrocity against humanity this RP has become. Thralni, even Zephyr two years ago had better explanations for his deus ex machina armies than you just posted. There are times in an RP when you fix a contradiction by coming up with an explanation - there are other times when it is better to go back and edit.

Sorry, I'll be gone for another week or so for a "hostage extraction" - trying to rescue 30k something posts from one of those nasty ezboard thingies. :rolleyes:

After that, I hope to come back here. No promises; though.

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Need help with Canope: Manefactured Womb! in Blades of Avernum
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Friday, October 14 2005 02:03 Profile Homepage #9
quote:
Originally written by Thuryl:

Spoiler (hold mouse over to read the answer in the status bar)
That's a brilliant idea! No more endless rubbish with

SPOILER
*
*
*
...
:)

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Encyclopaedia • Archives • Members • RSS [Topic / Forum] • Blog • Polaris • NaNoWriMo
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
I have a love of woodwind instruments.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
A Hypothetical Conceived Whilst Drunk in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Thursday, October 13 2005 21:02 Profile Homepage #13
quote:
Originally written by Well Thrid:

I'd rather have all doctors and midwives shout "Constantinople! Congratulations, it's a <boy/girl/corpse>!" at every birth. That way the problem can be minimized without hurting either history or They Might be Giants.

—Alorael, who think the politically correct term for the victims would have to be "spontaneous post-natal abortion."
And what do we meanwhile do with all the adult/adolescent people who are already infected? Are they post-natally aborted as well, or do we have to ban the word Constantinople outside nurseries for a generation? That wouldn't fix the problem.

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Converting from PC to Mac? in Blades of Avernum Editor
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Thursday, October 13 2005 07:46 Profile Homepage #2
You can very likely create them with Linux. Which doesn't fix the problem, but Linux emulators (Cygwin?) are a whole lot easier to come by than Mac emulators, as well as typically free.

Still, Kel's approach is least hassle. Ask someone.

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Encyclopaedia • Archives • Members • RSS [Topic / Forum] • Blog • Polaris • NaNoWriMo
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
I have a love of woodwind instruments.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Converting from PC to Mac? in Blades of Avernum
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Thursday, October 13 2005 07:46 Profile Homepage #2
You can very likely create them with Linux. Which doesn't fix the problem, but Linux emulators (Cygwin?) are a whole lot easier to come by than Mac emulators, as well as typically free.

Still, Kel's approach is least hassle. Ask someone.

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Encyclopaedia • Archives • Members • RSS [Topic / Forum] • Blog • Polaris • NaNoWriMo
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
I have a love of woodwind instruments.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
The Abominable Photo Thread 3.6 in General
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Wednesday, October 12 2005 15:40 Profile Homepage #46
quote:
Originally written by Marlenny:

I didn't think they were indicent, but I wasn't sure if anyone would think differently.
...
if that's Ben's way to compliment a girl, man does he need work.
Well, you know about Ben and conservatism, no? :P

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The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki!
"Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft.
"I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00

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