Oh my God, you just can't make this **** up.

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AuthorTopic: Oh my God, you just can't make this **** up.
Law Bringer
Member # 4153
Profile Homepage #25
I... feel ill. Very, very, ill.

And who is 'I like fluffy kitties on rye'? I can't keep track of these moniker changes anymore... not like I ever bothered.

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Gamble with Gaea, and she eats your dice.

I hate undead. I really, really, really, really hate undead. With a passion.
Posts: 4130 | Registered: Friday, March 26 2004 08:00
Infiltrator
Member # 3441
Profile Homepage #26
I'd eat it.

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"As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it." --Albert Einstein
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Posts: 536 | Registered: Sunday, September 7 2003 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 6785
Profile #27
I had a summer job for a food manufactuer. Bismark was right that people that like laws and sausages should see how they are made. You don't want to know what parts of an animal qualify as consumer eatable meat.

Swanson couldn't sell that if there wasn't a market. They sell to the same people that go to McDonald's for 6 Big Macs for lunch. They want people that don't read the nutrition label and appearantly have no taste.
Posts: 4643 | Registered: Friday, February 10 2006 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 335
Profile Homepage #28
I would like to put forward the idea that the meal is disgusting both for its constituents in category and the specific ingredients. The only things in there that qualify as food are pancakes and fries. Only the pancakes are breakfast, and only barely.

Also, I keep trying to figure out how to make that into a meal that works in a diet that does not end in rapid death. It contain about half of the 2000 calorie diet that people supposedly eat, which means it's actually less than half of an average American's daily calories. Yet with those percent daily value numbers, you'd have to go the rest of the day without fat and with something that gets cholesterol out of you fast.

—Alorael, who is seeing visions of someone starting off the day right with that metabolism bomb and then rounding out their diet with fruits, green vegetables, and water. It would make for an interesting diet.
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
Apprentice
Member # 7261
Profile #29
Apparently they toned it down on later models, mostly by replacing the cholesterriffic eggs with surprisingly reasonable French toast. Judging by the account of "Mike"'s reaction, I doubt that the sausage recipe has changed.
Posts: 19 | Registered: Wednesday, June 28 2006 07:00
Infiltrator
Member # 6652
Profile #30
That's one of those foods that I swear would explode if you put a match to it.

Kind of like fried seafood or Pepe's pizza.

[ Sunday, July 09, 2006 01:01: Message edited by: Little Billy Sue ]

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But I don't want to ride the elevator.
Posts: 420 | Registered: Sunday, January 8 2006 08:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 3171
Profile Homepage #31
I actually don't think it looks all that bad. Sure the nutritional facts are a little worrying but all in all it isnt that bad. Unless of course your eating it daily. Probably even if you were eating it weekly.
Posts: 776 | Registered: Friday, July 4 2003 07:00
Warrior
Member # 7223
Profile Homepage #32
Why don't they call it Heart Attack In A Box?

quote:
Originally written by Ephesos:

And who is 'I like fluffy kitties on rye'? I can't keep track of these moniker changes anymore... not like I ever bothered.
You can find it in the stats. Go to Monikers.

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Polaris

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
- H.P. Lovecraft
Posts: 164 | Registered: Wednesday, June 14 2006 07:00
Warrior
Member # 6401
Profile #33
Wow. The second version actually has more calories than the first version. Swanson's obviously felt that they needed to improve the calorie per gram efficiency.

Perhaps they intend to use it for long distance runners or astronauts or something?

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I think this is really wonderful.
Posts: 147 | Registered: Tuesday, October 18 2005 07:00
Triad Mage
Member # 7
Profile Homepage #34
As I eat 5000 calories a day, I must say that the second version actually looks pretty good.

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"At times discretion should be thrown aside, and with the foolish we should play the fool." - Menander
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Drakefyre's Demesne - Happy Happy Joy Joy
Encyclopedia Ermariana - Trapped in the Closet
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You can take my Mac when you pry my cold, dead fingers off the mouse!
Posts: 9436 | Registered: Wednesday, September 19 2001 07:00
Electric Sheep One
Member # 3431
Profile #35
Drakefyre eats for the brood.

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We're not doing cool. We're doing pretty.
Posts: 3335 | Registered: Thursday, September 4 2003 07:00
Warrior
Member # 6401
Profile #36
I imagine that administrating Spidweb must take up at least 3000 calories a day.

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I think this is really wonderful.
Posts: 147 | Registered: Tuesday, October 18 2005 07:00
BANNED
Member # 2064
Profile #37
How does sitting at a computer take calories? No matter how stressful, that doesn't make sense...

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I am an idiot.
Posts: 775 | Registered: Friday, October 11 2002 07:00
Warrior
Member # 7223
Profile Homepage #38
If he didn't eat all those calories, I imagine the mere stress would kill him.

EDIT: It can be explained simply. The stress of running these forums is not calcuable by a single human. That explains why we have three Admin.

[ Sunday, July 09, 2006 10:00: Message edited by: Elijah ]

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Polaris

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
- H.P. Lovecraft
Posts: 164 | Registered: Wednesday, June 14 2006 07:00
BANNED
Member # 4
Profile Homepage #39
quote:
Originally written by Drakefyre:

As I eat 5000 calories a day, I must say that the second version actually looks pretty good.
Either you have a heart condition or you are an athlete (or both).

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Posts: 6936 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00
Infiltrator
Member # 3441
Profile Homepage #40
Or he just likes to eat.

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"As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it." --Albert Einstein
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Posts: 536 | Registered: Sunday, September 7 2003 07:00
Agent
Member # 5814
Profile #41
quote:
Originally written by Rufus Rothgard:

quote:
Originally written by Drakefyre:

As I eat 5000 calories a day, I must say that the second version actually looks pretty good.
Either you have a heart condition or you are an athlete (or both).

quote:
Originally written by WiKiSpidweb:

Or he just likes to eat.
Or he's bad with numbers.

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quote:
Originally written by Kelandon
Well, I'm at least pretty

Posts: 1115 | Registered: Sunday, May 15 2005 07:00
Guardian
Member # 2476
Profile #42
quote:
Originally written by Drakefyre:

As I eat 5000 calories a day, I must say that the second version actually looks pretty good.
You are welcome to your 5000 calories, Drakey, if you need them, and I remember you once said you do, but for the sake of these boards I honestly hope that you stick to a healthier diet than this disgusting trash is offering you.

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Polaris
Rache's A3 Site reformatted 2/3 done
Rache's A3 Site, original version
Posts: 1828 | Registered: Saturday, January 11 2003 08:00
E Equals MC What!!!!
Member # 5491
Profile Homepage #43
Hmm. Needs more bacon. You can never have enough bacon.

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SupaNik: Aran, you're not big enough to threaten Ash. Dammit, even JV had to think twice.
Posts: 1861 | Registered: Friday, February 11 2005 08:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 6388
Profile #44
Bacon seemed soggy and unpleasant from the picture. Bacon is best crisp, not quite as much as a good fry or potato chip, but just enough to give a bit of snap and let you know you're eating something that's been cooked.

Soggy bacon is worse than no bacon at all.

[ Sunday, July 09, 2006 12:43: Message edited by: The Worst Man Ever ]
Posts: 794 | Registered: Tuesday, October 11 2005 07:00
Agent
Member # 3364
Profile Homepage #45
quote:
Originally written by Rufus Rothgard:

Anyway, furthermore-- maple syrup and peanut butter? I mean, maple and peanut butter are some of my favorite flavoring agents, true... But both? At once?
Peanutbutter/syrup sandwiches were a staple when I was growing up. The flavors blend well. I have since switched to peanutbutter/honey for the sweeter taste.

I also grew up on leftover McDonalds hamburgers that didn't sell whenever my dad closed as night manager, an occupation he held close to 15 years. It probably wasn't the best diet for me while growing up but it didn't seem to affect my health. I probably should put checking my cholesterol level on my to-do list, though.

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"Even the worst Terror from Hell can be transformed to a testimony from Heaven!" - Rev. David Wood 6\23\05

"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." - John Wesley
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Tuesday, August 19 2003 07:00
Warrior
Member # 7223
Profile Homepage #46
I would like to request a "violently ill" emoticon.

Oh, and watch Supersize Me, Drakey. That shows what bad food does to you.

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Polaris

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
- H.P. Lovecraft
Posts: 164 | Registered: Wednesday, June 14 2006 07:00
? Man, ? Amazing
Member # 5755
Profile #47
I think the bottom line is that Swanson's screwed up. They took good food and made it bad. Likely it is unpalatable, but sheer quantity and stubborness help people finish the meals.

Some suggestions I've heard for making it a better breakfast include - more bacon, more calories, better bacon, proper flapjacks, a dash of salt, add some citrus, provide condiments, etc etc...

We can make it bigger, better, and stronger, but due to the sheer volume of things on the plate, we are unlikely to get past frying the bacon and sausages before running out of steam. So, dipso facto, it is no longer necessary to cook or eat that much food. Just have sausages (5000 calories worth) one day, then bacon the next, and so on. Hmmm. Hungry now.

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quote:
Originally written by Kelandon:

Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing.


Posts: 4114 | Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 4153
Profile Homepage #48
quote:
Originally written by Elijah:

Oh, and watch Supersize Me, Drakey. That shows what bad food does to you.
That movie is sickening. On so many levels...

But the thing to remember is that it's mostly for shock'n'awe value. Simple common sense should tell you that you can't eat all that and not get burned somehow.

EDIT: Okay, it's a Geneforge person... no wonder I didn't know them.

EDIT2: Does the idea of rebates for food scare anybody else? (referring to the below post)

[ Sunday, July 09, 2006 18:08: Message edited by: Ephesos ]

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Gamble with Gaea, and she eats your dice.

I hate undead. I really, really, really, really hate undead. With a passion.
Posts: 4130 | Registered: Friday, March 26 2004 08:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 6193
Profile Homepage #49
I ate a hungry man dinner once, it was free with the rebate, so what the heck? It was actually pretty good, but it took me two days to eat it. It would have been tough to have it all in one serving.

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Guaranteed to blow your mind.

Frostbite: Get It While It's...... Hot?
Posts: 900 | Registered: Monday, August 8 2005 07:00

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