Oh my God, you just can't make this **** up.

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AuthorTopic: Oh my God, you just can't make this **** up.
Warrior
Member # 5550
Profile Homepage #0
Read, and be disgusted. This actually exists.

http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0744/

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Q: What is the sound of one hand clapping?
A: The sound of someone getting smacked upside the head.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a good side and a dark side and it binds the universe together.

Don't worry Alorael, custom titles are overrated.
Posts: 154 | Registered: Saturday, February 26 2005 08:00
Councilor
Member # 6600
Profile Homepage #1
The eggs look like insulation foam.

Edit: At least the nutritional label is honest. Lots of junk food looks like one serving, but ends up being two or three, so it looks better than it actually is. And it rarely looks good in the first place.

After reading that, Dikiyoba has a strange craving for a salad now...

[ Saturday, July 08, 2006 13:13: Message edited by: Dikiyoba ]
Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00
Agent
Member # 6581
Profile Homepage #2
One word: Horrible.

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Download Geneforge 4: Rebellion

You have 6 posts. Nobody cares what you think. - Thuryl

Wikipedia may be your friend, but UBB is not. - Dikiyoba
Posts: 1310 | Registered: Tuesday, December 20 2005 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 335
Profile Homepage #3
That is remarkably similar in nutritional content to the McDonalds Deluxe Breakfast.

—Alorael, who has eaten within the past two hours and who now bitterly regrets it. The bacon and sausage are enough to start cults of vegetarianism.
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
Apprentice
Member # 7261
Profile #4
::goes to the McDonald's thingy::

...the scrambled eggs alone make up over 130% of the cholesterol intake!? :eek:

Though I think the Hungry Man meal looks like it'd be fine if you just got rid of the eggs, fed the pancakes to the dog, and took a few minutes to roast/grill/fry the rest so the excess fat leaks out and could be drained... and then add a side of carrots and a tangerine for dessert. But then I suspect doing all that would ruin the whole point.
Posts: 19 | Registered: Wednesday, June 28 2006 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 4682
Profile #5
As I don't like eggs, bacon, and sausage, even looking at well-cooked ones makes me feel nauseated. Looking at these, it's a wonder I didn't throw up.

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Join the Dark side. We have cookies.

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Posts: 834 | Registered: Thursday, July 8 2004 07:00
? Man, ? Amazing
Member # 5755
Profile #6
Hmmm. I'd probably add salt.

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quote:
Originally written by Kelandon:

Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing.


Posts: 4114 | Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
The Establishment
Member # 6
Profile #7
All in moderation.

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Your flower power is no match for my glower power!
Posts: 3726 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00
BANNED
Member # 4
Profile Homepage #8
1. You'd "drain away" the whole damn "meal"
2. Anything you WOULD have left would be exclusively preservatives

Anyway, I am eating right now, and wish that I was not.

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Posts: 6936 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00
Agent
Member # 5814
Profile #9
I sometimes make a dinner or breakfast like that when the products are available; it takes about twenty minutes to cook and eat. Warming this up in the microwave, warming it up again (because microwaves take so long to cook such dinners), and then eating it probably takes the same amount of time. And my food wouldn't be all soggy; it would be crunchy, like a good fried meal should be.

And if someone makes a pun using the phrase "food for thought", I swear I will...

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quote:
Originally written by Kelandon
Well, I'm at least pretty

Posts: 1115 | Registered: Sunday, May 15 2005 07:00
BANNED
Member # 4
Profile Homepage #10
Now that's thought for food!

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Posts: 6936 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00
Shaper
Member # 5450
Profile Homepage #11
Mmmm, tasty.

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I'll put a Spring in your step.
:ph34r:
Posts: 2396 | Registered: Saturday, January 29 2005 08:00
Agent
Member # 3364
Profile Homepage #12
Yes, well... those pancakes look good anyway. Needs some peanut butter and maple syrup though.

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"Even the worst Terror from Hell can be transformed to a testimony from Heaven!" - Rev. David Wood 6\23\05

"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." - John Wesley
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Tuesday, August 19 2003 07:00
BANNED
Member # 4
Profile Homepage #13
Those "pancakes" look like flour and ****. I've had the kind they feature there at low-end buffets... Once, and never again. Holy hell.

Anyway, furthermore-- maple syrup and peanut butter? I mean, maple and peanut butter are some of my favorite flavoring agents, true... But both? At once?

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Posts: 6936 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00
Councilor
Member # 6600
Profile Homepage #14
Orginally by TM:

quote:
Anyway, furthermore-- maple syrup and peanut butter? I mean, maple and peanut butter are some of my favorite flavoring agents, true... But both? At once?
Sure. It's like peanut butter and jelly. And the peanut butter prevents the maple syrup from soaking into the pankcake and making it all soggy.

Dikiyoba.

[ Saturday, July 08, 2006 14:34: Message edited by: Dikiyoba ]
Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00
Warrior
Member # 7223
Profile Homepage #15
Holy **** on rye.

Which is basically what this is. Except **** has much better nutritional value.

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Polaris

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
- H.P. Lovecraft
Posts: 164 | Registered: Wednesday, June 14 2006 07:00
Guardian
Member # 2339
Profile #16
Are those sausages made from...MEAT? Or bird dropping caterpillars, or, more likely, just droppings? If it wasn't mentioned that those were eggs, I would have actually believed that for some reason, someone put insulation foam on what appeared to be very low quality meat. And those pancakes look kind of like frisbees. And when I saw the Nutritional Facts, I was scared... It's like they gathered all the junk food in the world, deep-fried it 17 times in a row, bathed it in pure, melted fat and then shaped and colored it until it resembled food, then stuffed it with preservatives and...Dihydrogen pyrophosphate? IF anyone can get some information on that, please tell me.

If you'll excuse me, I'm feeling sick just from reading about it. I think I may just stick to drinking water for a while.

[ Saturday, July 08, 2006 15:02: Message edited by: Zephyr Tempest. ]

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-Zephyr Tempest, your personal entertainer
Posts: 1779 | Registered: Monday, December 9 2002 08:00
Infiltrator
Member # 2836
Profile #17
What are 'home fries'?
Posts: 587 | Registered: Tuesday, April 1 2003 08:00
Councilor
Member # 6600
Profile Homepage #18
Originally by Zephyr Tempest:

quote:
...Dihydrogen pyrophosphate? IF anyone can get some information on that, please tell me.
Dikiyoba could only find information on disodium dihydrogen pyrophosphate, but it's probably the same thing.
Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 6785
Profile #19
Home fries are made with potatoe slices fried in oil in a pan instead of deep frying them as in a restaurant. The idea is that you can do them yourself without a deep fryer.

Actually it doesn't seem any worse then the junk I ate in various school cafeterias. There the fried eggs could bounce and they tasted like rubber.

[ Saturday, July 08, 2006 15:33: Message edited by: Randomizer ]
Posts: 4643 | Registered: Friday, February 10 2006 08:00
BANNED
Member # 4
Profile Homepage #20
With school ****, they may as well have the anuses right in the lunch line with you.

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Posts: 6936 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00
Shock Trooper
Member # 3513
Profile Homepage #21
*gags*

Wow. I already knew that Swanson was pretty much the lowest grade of frozen pre-cooked food, but this just makes it certain.

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Nobody appreciates me. It's all "Igor! Fetch some wine!" "Igor! Clean up this experiment!" or "Igor! Bury this in the garden, we're leaving town in 10 minutes!"

—Alorael, who tried to become a deivore once. The priest gave him a funny look after the third wafer.
Posts: 301 | Registered: Thursday, October 2 2003 07:00
Guardian
Member # 2238
Profile Homepage #22
Whats the big deal?

Don't pretend we all haven't eaten something that would kill us if we ate just one more. Right?

...right...?

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DEMON PLAY,
DEMON OUT!
Posts: 1582 | Registered: Wednesday, November 13 2002 08:00
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Member # 919
Profile #23
See, I'd eat a meal like that, but not one with the first four percentages of daily requirements in that nutritional information. As 5814 (eh?) said, the meal itself isn't horrible - what's horrible is the individual parts of it and how full of **** they are. Those eggs. My God. I've eaten eggs (cooked by myself) from one of those low-cholesterol pre-scrambled health food things, and I can tell you I'd rather avoid the experience in the future. Between the two, though, I'd pay money to not have to choose what's in the Hungry-Man breakfast.

I wouldn't be too sure of those pancakes, either. I mean, at first glance, 78 carbohydrates for breakfast isn't so bad. I tend to eat more than that every day (edit: for breakfast). What's scary about it, though, is that those carbohydrates come from two sources, namely the home fries and the pancakes. The home fries can't be more than 35 or 40 carbohydrates, and shouldn't have anywhere near 22 grams of sugar in them. That probably means at least half of the carbohydrates in the pancakes are directly from sugar. I would never make pancakes anything like that, let alone eat them. Good lord.

All I can say is I'm glad there are four grams of fiber in that. Whoever eats it is sure as hell going to need them.

[ Saturday, July 08, 2006 19:39: Message edited by: Sir David ]

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And though the musicians would die, the music would live on in the imaginations of all who heard it.
-The Last Pendragon

Polaris = joy.

In case of emergency, break glass.
Posts: 3351 | Registered: Saturday, April 6 2002 08:00
Warrior
Member # 5550
Profile Homepage #24
What amazes me most is that it has 98% of daily recommended fat, over 100% of daily recommended saturated fat, and 231 F****** PERCENT of daily recommended chlorestoral. My arteries are clogging up just thinking about it.

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Q: What is the sound of one hand clapping?
A: The sound of someone getting smacked upside the head.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a good side and a dark side and it binds the universe together.

Don't worry Alorael, custom titles are overrated.
Posts: 154 | Registered: Saturday, February 26 2005 08:00

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