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Anyone with insane relatives? in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Wednesday, December 15 2004 00:37 Profile #29
Thuryl: Before I went off to study, we got along fine. There were the usual sibling fights, but we could laugh, talk, and enjoy each others company. Sometime in the 9 years I was away, they lost their ability to feel any positive emotions. I think this in part came from multiple failures: college, work, and social interactions.

I don't know how to bring back their emotions. I've tried encouraging them in arts (they are talented artists) and getting them passionate about various subjects, but nothing seems to interest them except misery. I've tried bringing up memories, but all I get in return are twisted stories which often offend me(they are convinced my mum was a whore). These days the only times I see my eldest sister smile or laugh is when she is relishing in another's misfortune.

ef: You give quite a convincing argument. I think about what my mum would think of me all the time. I don't know. She asked my dad to take care of us when she passed (I was two at the time), and I think she would want me to look after my sisters as well. My paternal grandfather was a saint, according to many people. He took in strays, both human and animals. How would he judge me if I turned my back on my own sisters?

With regard to your other post, I'm afraid she needs hospitalization as well. She usually tells us daily to die/leave/transform. It's all synonymous to her. She's obsessed with death, often calling herself an assassin or claiming to be death. My top worry is when all that talk will manifest itself physically.

Wiseman: My dad wasn't strict, but there were many unspoken things he expected from us: respect your elders, put your family first, study, earn money, and take care of him in his old age. Of course my maternal grandparents also forced a lot of their traditional views down our throats, and since my dad didn't object, we believed much of it. My dad was always emotionally weak when it came to defending his kids from others.

You should count your blessings you didn't have to go through the torture. The Chinese are quite adept at the brainwashing process.

ADoS: The law in SF requires one of the three for forced hospitalisation:

1) danger to self
2) danger to others
3) severely disabled(inability to provide for oneself)

For #2 my sister would be required to be out of control while the authorities or witnesses are present. The first time she was hospitalized because she left sufficient evidence of her violence on my body. The difficulty now is that when they do come, she acts normal. Plus the incidents following the hospital visit have only been mild to medium violence which don't leave a lot of evidence. For #3, my dad would have to put her out. He is unwilling to do that.

Djur: My experience with psych ward staff has only been as a relative. It more resembled ADoS ward versus yours though (perhaps being in a city like SF has something to do with it). There is another I think she should be hospitalized. If she continues on her current decline, she will eventually get out of of control again. When that happens if she hits my dad or a stranger, she will likely face jail time. No matter how bad an institution is, jail is much worse.

How likely is this? During her short stay with the army in spring 2003, she was put in the brig for three months for hitting another soldier.

Just as a side, when she was on abilify in the hospital, she seemed a lot more realistic than now. Yes, she was drowsy, but her eyes and demeanor resembled the person I remembered. And, she actually showed concern.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Anyone with insane relatives? in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Tuesday, December 7 2004 19:40 Profile #15
I suppose some background might be helpful. My family and I immigrated to the US in 1987 when I was almost a decade old.

Middle sister:
She believes there is this vast conspiracy against the whole family, especially her. Before her hospitalisation about two years ago, she used to be more physical than now. For instance, she struck in a TV screen once. Currently, she is paranoid about surveillance, drugged food, and people trying to deport her. Note that we are citizens now.

Eldest sister:
She believes that she is stuck in a dream/alternate reality caused by some temporal distortion. My guess is this comes from watching too much Enterprise. She believes everyone in San Francisco is one of the following: vampire, werewolf, cannibal, phoenix, dead, or impostor. Depending on the day, the family falls into categories of vampire, impostor, or dead. She also thinks she is married to a pop star who is also a vampire, and sometimes a phoenix. As for herself, she is a vampire with a mission to "collect souls" and waiting for some kind of gate to open so she can exit this reality.

To prepare for the exit, she has been systematically destroying her personal belongings and some of ours. These include books, photos, clothes, utensils, and furniture. When we try to stop her, she becomes violent, either verbally or physically. Her assigned therapist believes she has the mentality of a small child. This means she has no boundaries, no sense of responsibility, and the strength of a grown woman.

Thuryl: I have attempted to talk to my sisters. The middle one doesn't seem to have much of a problem with me, just the rest of the world and my dad. The eldest has a problem with everyone. Err, just as a curiousity, how did you convince yourself to change your outlook?

Gizmo: You're right about the authorities. The frustrating part is that she has the medication and access to therapy, but refuses both. I can't do much to make her comply, nor can the authorities. She is also superb actress (she was admitted to the army last year), which makes it even more difficult.

As for religion, I'm not one for organised religion. I respect it, but have many personal objections to joining a church or temple. I am trying to field out support groups, mostly for my dad. Me, I'm kept sane by good friends, though they may be far away. The advice about volunteers might work, since my dad has relatives and friends who might be inclined to help. My only concern is that this might further aggravate my sisters' conspiracy theories.

ef: I understand and agree what you're saying intellectually. Unfortunately, I was raised traditional Chinese, with heavy emphasis on family duty and honour. I can argue with myself and come to the logical conclusion, but at the end of the day, the small part of me that's been permamently brain-washed always prevails. So, I tend to put the needs of my family before my own. It often sucks, but that's life.

Archmage Alex: How do you go about setting boundaries and how do you get her to take the meds? My eldest sister won't listen to me, and my dad too emotionally weak to be effective.

Alec: I'm sorry, I really am.

If anyone has ideas on how to reason with irrational people, feel free to air them. This includes the self-insane members.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Anyone with insane relatives? in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Sunday, December 5 2004 21:33 Profile #0
Does anyone here have(or live with) any mentally unstable/insane relatives? If so, how do you deal with them? Any advice would be nice. Or if you don't, feel free to give your 2 cents anyway.

Basically, I'm stuck with two mental sisters, both older than me, who can go off any moment. The eldest beat me up when I came between her and my dad to stop her from hitting him(64yrs). We had her taken to the hospital and she's back now, worse than ever. The authorities basically can't do anything because she hasn't done anything else so far. The laws are pretty screwed up. From her rants/monologues though, she is pretty obsessed with death, so I'm afraid she'll one day decide to take up a knife.

I would move out, but I'm afraid for my dad and other sister. I'm slowly going insane (not the good kind), with worry and stress. Once again, any help would be appreciated.

Scales
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
THE IRON SALTIRE CHEF CHALLENGES YOU, PART ONE in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Monday, December 22 2003 06:46 Profile #126
There's another Vietnamese style chili sauce that is pretty good as well. It looks the same as sriracha, except with the seeds and is made by the same company. I personally love Vietnamese food, though their food is designed to taste better with noodles, rather than rice.
I suppose having a dad who can cook Vietnamese stuff does that to you.

On the subject of rice:

I like Indian food and think they have a very good vegetarian selection. On rice though, I prefer the Chinese style, mainly because of the texture. It probably has to do with my growing up with it. Homecooked rice is usually much better than the standard restaurant variety.

Japanese rice is fine as well, except sometimes I'm not in the mood for the sticky texture and the slight sweetness. Thai/Burmese/Tibetian is pretty good, though to me very similar to Chinese rice. Mexican and Spanish are nice, but my preference is usually for the Asian type.

The only rice I don't really like is American rice. It seems a little "stinky" to me. And of course there are the instant rice mixes, which are an abomination. I had the misfortune of trying some, and it promptly came back out.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
THE IRON SALTIRE CHEF CHALLENGES YOU, PART ONE in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Saturday, December 20 2003 15:04 Profile #99
quote:
Originally written by Stughalf:


EDIT: And Andraste, rice by itself or with soy sauce ( :eek: ) isn't much good at all. You need to eat rice with something spicy and substantial, like Indian samber or rasam. Only Indians know how to do rice right. :D
I love plain rice. And the Chinese have equal, if not greater, ability in rice cooking. =)
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
The next RP ... in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Wednesday, December 10 2003 02:30 Profile #30
*waves back* Hi Saunders. I had to deal with some life-altering events and all. Nothing too big. It's good to see a familiar face.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
The next RP ... in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Tuesday, December 9 2003 13:38 Profile #22
I'd like to point out that there is a Code of Conduct and I quote:

What constitutes a major transgression for a member:

+ Any communication that is intended to harass, belittle, humiliate, threaten or
cause embarrassment to a fellow member.

It is none of my business, but some folks seem to think they are a bit above it. In other words, I agree with Alorael and Motrax. Spiderwebbers seem to like to have an ultimate "enemy" once in a while. I suppose it is to alleviate the boredom.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
improvements for geneforge 3.... your thoughts in Geneforge Series
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Thursday, December 4 2003 04:20 Profile #19
I would like the action point consumption to be modified. I dislike the fact that if I accidentally use an attack or magic spell with 9 or less AP remaining, I lose the other four minus. Most of the time I'd like to use the remaining AP to move away from the enemy or use an item. It works the other way around, so I see no reason why it shouldn't be symmetric.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
improvements for geneforge 3.... your thoughts in Geneforge 2
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Thursday, December 4 2003 04:20 Profile #19
I would like the action point consumption to be modified. I dislike the fact that if I accidentally use an attack or magic spell with 9 or less AP remaining, I lose the other four minus. Most of the time I'd like to use the remaining AP to move away from the enemy or use an item. It works the other way around, so I see no reason why it shouldn't be symmetric.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Announcement on the status of Scorpius and Ed Lemur in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Thursday, May 29 2003 18:50 Profile #120
quote:
Originally posted by Akheva:


EDIT: I hate the 'pity' and the stories about 'dealing with my orientation' far more than the insults by mindless imbeciles who don't even know what being homosexual means. It's people like you, David, who do know what it means but hide behind your Bibles or your upbringing and just repeat 'God/my parents say this is wrong' over and over again.
Well put, sir. I'd rather be bashed by a bunch of open-minded bigots than backstabbed by a two-faced lemming.

As for changing who we love (sexuality isn't always about sex; sometimes love figures in there as well) is quite impossible. It's true for heterosexuals, why wouldn't it be true for others? Unless, of course homosexuality doesn't involve love.

PS. By the way Alec, you were quite right about ef. I enjoy all her thoughtful posts, especially the slightly unconventional ones. They give me plenty of food for thought and a lot of hope. I concede a point to you, sir.

And to ef, thanks.

[ Thursday, May 29, 2003 19:01: Message edited by: Scales ]
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Poll for Atheists and Agnostics... in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Tuesday, May 27 2003 04:43 Profile #89
There were also times in the past when not publicly believing in a Christian god in Europe either led you to be persecuted or discriminated against. A long while ago. I read a story of a fairly well known scientist in the 1800s (I forget his name) whose Jewish father attended a Christian church just to improve his chances for admission into a university.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Announcement on the status of Scorpius and Ed Lemur in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Friday, May 23 2003 17:56 Profile #21
Hiding behind semantics is a popular technique for denial.

DragynBob, maybe they have an open relationship. It's not unheard of these days.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Buddy in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Wednesday, May 21 2003 06:44 Profile #70
quote:
Originally posted by el presidente:
Shounen-ai is the conventional transliteration for English, yes. I cannot speak for Finnish; Arctic is probably right there.

Yaoi is shounen-ai, but shounen-ai is not necessarily yaoi; the former comes from, depending on who you ask, a phrase meaning "no content, no climax, no conclusion" [AKA "Plot? What plot?"], or a phrase meaning "Please stop, my butt hurts!" -- in either case, it's basically a reference to plotless man-sex.
On the other hand, shounen-ai generally refers to stuff about male-on-male relationships. Yaoi fits into this category, but does not encompass it.
The long "oo" sound is usually produced by the "o" character followed by the "u" character when written in Hiragana and by the "o" followed by a dash when done in Katakana. Hiragana is used for native words (most of which have kanji equivalents), while Katakana is used for mimics of foreign languages, most commonly English. So depending on what set of alphabets one uses, the spelling may vary. Since shounen-ai sounds nothing like any English word, I'm guessing it is in Hiragana. Then again, both spellings maybe accepted since there are exceptions to the "ou" rule.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
hi! in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Sunday, May 4 2003 15:25 Profile #8
since you are a finn, i'll extend a hand of welcome. use your common sense when all else fails. most folks here are harmless, really. their a bit insane, a bit wacky, though. ANYWAY, WELCOME TO THE BOARDS.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
"Georgians Plan Whites-Only Prom Party" in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Sunday, May 4 2003 11:33 Profile #45
I think the technically part refers to whether or not a homosexual person performs sodomy (and in some states oral acts) or not. I don't think it's illegal to be gay, just to perform certain acts. It's similar to the attitudes of certain Christian churches.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Palm Sunday in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Saturday, May 3 2003 17:08 Profile #109
I really don't see what the fuss is about. Khoth did put a proper disclaimer, so it seems to me that people who were going to be offended by the article clicked on the link anyway and then complained about how offensive it was. It really doesn't make too much sense. I suppose people are always looking for things to crusade about.

I respect Mother Theresa. She lived a lifestyle I could probably not live. I don't know her personally, so I can't pass judgement on whether she was a good or bad person.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
'Wut do u look like?" in General
Scales
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
 written Saturday, May 3 2003 06:46 Profile #70
quote:
Originally posted by J'Ondule La Banniere Noire:

As for tattoos, I have one. It's a little dot in my right knee called "Screwing Up And Stabbing Yourself Hard With A Pencil". I was nine or ten when I got it. Yeah, I used to be quite a wild child.
I have a similar tattoo, though it is a bit above my right knee. Mine is called "Malicious Older Sibling Stabbing You Hard With A Pencil". I got it when I was seven or eight.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00