Anyone with insane relatives?

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AuthorTopic: Anyone with insane relatives?
Member # 869
Profile Homepage #25
Djur - are you aware of the experiment involving a number of perfectly healthy psychology students who checked themselves into a number of different mental institutions under the (false) cover-story of a single episode of hallucinations? Apparently the average stay before they were let out was around 2 months. The staff at the institutions (who, obviously, weren't informed of the experiment) reported all sorts of aberrant behaviour from the subjects.

Maybe we haven't gone so far from the days of the Royal Bethlehem after all.

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Posts: 9973 | Registered: Saturday, March 30 2002 08:00
Member # 2476
Profile #26
Scales says that his sister lives permanently in an alternate reality. That she believes herself to be a vampire with a mission to collect souls. She never touches up in 'our' reality, she's only learned 'to act' in it.
And that is where I draw the line.

It's no big deal to live with a person like that, as long as s/he is not violent and doesn't try to take your life for whatever reason. But when s/he does, may God protect your soul. You'll speedily come to realize that you've more to lose than just physical life. You are drawn into a nightmare. What if your sister wanted to drink your blood and you felt her urge and desire not only to end your life, but to trap the very core of you for all time. What if you had to mobilize all the physical strength you can muster to stop her killing you. That is no game.

I have no answers and no solution. Confronted with a like problem, I chose not to sacrifice those with sane minds for the sake of the one who'd gone over the edge. If that is right or wrong, I really don't know.

Posts: 1828 | Registered: Saturday, January 11 2003 08:00
Member # 73
Profile #27
It really does depend on the hospital you're in though. The one I was in wasn't bad at all. The staff never talked down to us or anything like that. They would only restrain you when you were actually becoming violent.
But I may have been in an exception. As was said before, do research first.

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Posts: 2957 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Member # 2210
Profile #28
I once tried to check into an insane asylum because I was feeling depressed. I spent an hour in intake and they told me that I wasn't crazy to leave and not come back because I was basically rational and sane given my circumstances.

I learned that it is very hard to prove that you are insane unless you actively try to be that way or really are insane. Once you've proved you are insane it becomes very hard to prove you are not-- SSI is a one way ticket in the United States which is nearly impossible to leave.

Don't check into an asylum unless you want to be on a permanent exit ticket or really are in trouble.

My family is a bit rough around the edges but nobody is ready to check into an asylum. There is a little bit of depression, some drug use, and a bit of compulsiveness but that is it.

Therapy helps most people. Going to church, or relgious services if you are mad helps sometimes as well.

Wasting your time and mine looking for a good laugh.

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Posts: 1084 | Registered: Thursday, November 7 2002 08:00
Shock Trooper
Member # 58
Profile #29
Thuryl: Before I went off to study, we got along fine. There were the usual sibling fights, but we could laugh, talk, and enjoy each others company. Sometime in the 9 years I was away, they lost their ability to feel any positive emotions. I think this in part came from multiple failures: college, work, and social interactions.

I don't know how to bring back their emotions. I've tried encouraging them in arts (they are talented artists) and getting them passionate about various subjects, but nothing seems to interest them except misery. I've tried bringing up memories, but all I get in return are twisted stories which often offend me(they are convinced my mum was a whore). These days the only times I see my eldest sister smile or laugh is when she is relishing in another's misfortune.

ef: You give quite a convincing argument. I think about what my mum would think of me all the time. I don't know. She asked my dad to take care of us when she passed (I was two at the time), and I think she would want me to look after my sisters as well. My paternal grandfather was a saint, according to many people. He took in strays, both human and animals. How would he judge me if I turned my back on my own sisters?

With regard to your other post, I'm afraid she needs hospitalization as well. She usually tells us daily to die/leave/transform. It's all synonymous to her. She's obsessed with death, often calling herself an assassin or claiming to be death. My top worry is when all that talk will manifest itself physically.

Wiseman: My dad wasn't strict, but there were many unspoken things he expected from us: respect your elders, put your family first, study, earn money, and take care of him in his old age. Of course my maternal grandparents also forced a lot of their traditional views down our throats, and since my dad didn't object, we believed much of it. My dad was always emotionally weak when it came to defending his kids from others.

You should count your blessings you didn't have to go through the torture. The Chinese are quite adept at the brainwashing process.

ADoS: The law in SF requires one of the three for forced hospitalisation:

1) danger to self
2) danger to others
3) severely disabled(inability to provide for oneself)

For #2 my sister would be required to be out of control while the authorities or witnesses are present. The first time she was hospitalized because she left sufficient evidence of her violence on my body. The difficulty now is that when they do come, she acts normal. Plus the incidents following the hospital visit have only been mild to medium violence which don't leave a lot of evidence. For #3, my dad would have to put her out. He is unwilling to do that.

Djur: My experience with psych ward staff has only been as a relative. It more resembled ADoS ward versus yours though (perhaps being in a city like SF has something to do with it). There is another I think she should be hospitalized. If she continues on her current decline, she will eventually get out of of control again. When that happens if she hits my dad or a stranger, she will likely face jail time. No matter how bad an institution is, jail is much worse.

How likely is this? During her short stay with the army in spring 2003, she was put in the brig for three months for hitting another soldier.

Just as a side, when she was on abilify in the hospital, she seemed a lot more realistic than now. Yes, she was drowsy, but her eyes and demeanor resembled the person I remembered. And, she actually showed concern.
Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Shock Trooper
Member # 4214
Profile #30
Having infinite personality disorders, I do not consider myself as psychically healthy at all.

I'm autistic, histrionic, narcissistic, avoidant, obsessive-compulsive, schizoid and paranoid.

Also, I have a serious optometrical problem, which makes it difficult for me to coordinate my body or to visually assimilate information, as I said before.

And, in fact, it's very difficult to live with myself. I can't accept the inferiority and inadequacy of my own body…

[ Wednesday, December 15, 2004 05:36: Message edited by: Mind ]
Posts: 356 | Registered: Tuesday, April 6 2004 07:00
Member # 2476
Profile #31
My paternal grandfather was a saint, according to many people. He took in strays, both human and animals. How would he judge me if I turned my back on my own sisters?

You know, when I got older I realized that all the saintly relatives I had been taught to adore just pleased themselves. If it pleases you to take in strays, fine, if not, don't do it. Who had to care for the strays by the way? Your granny?

I think about what my mum would think of me all the time. I don't know. She asked my dad to take care of us when she passed...
My dad was always emotionally weak when it came to defending his kids from others.

And because he cannot fulfill her request, you step in for him? In the natural sequence of generations you are the kid, not he. If you want to be a father, have kids of your own. There is no other way.
Your mum would accept your shoulder to lean on once in while, but she would never want to make you carry her burdens. Which is what your father does. Scales, these things never work. You cannot live your father's life for him, you can only live your own.

Your father won't help you. He uses you to harmonize the status quo, but he doesn't give you authority to change anything for the better. This is a vicious circle that traps you and eats your life without accomplishing anything.

As I see it, you have two options to change that.

Knowing that your father will never permit you to decide on anything that would promote you sisters' health, you can leave. You can then continue to be a sympathetic listener. He'll give always in to your sisters' whining and fears and will never let you act.
Your second option would dethrone him. If he is not able to be head of your family, you take his place and he obeys you. He can lament and deplore your decisions and actions, but not overthrow them. Think well before you cry out against such a suggestion. I would be much surprised if you didn't get your best relatives' support for that strategy.

I'd prefer to see you leave. But I'm not Chinese. Your family ties may be such that make leaving impossible. In that case, unusual circumstances call for unusual measures.
Scales, you haven't had someone to defend you as a kid. That's why you can't defend yourself now. It's time you start learning.

I can't accept the inferiority and inadequacy of my own body…
Mind, you are so much more than that. Even I know this, who knows you only through your posts.

[ Wednesday, December 15, 2004 07:20: Message edited by: ef ]

Posts: 1828 | Registered: Saturday, January 11 2003 08:00