Anyone with insane relatives?
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Shock Trooper
Member # 58
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written Sunday, December 5 2004 21:33
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Does anyone here have(or live with) any mentally unstable/insane relatives? If so, how do you deal with them? Any advice would be nice. Or if you don't, feel free to give your 2 cents anyway. Basically, I'm stuck with two mental sisters, both older than me, who can go off any moment. The eldest beat me up when I came between her and my dad to stop her from hitting him(64yrs). We had her taken to the hospital and she's back now, worse than ever. The authorities basically can't do anything because she hasn't done anything else so far. The laws are pretty screwed up. From her rants/monologues though, she is pretty obsessed with death, so I'm afraid she'll one day decide to take up a knife. I would move out, but I'm afraid for my dad and other sister. I'm slowly going insane (not the good kind), with worry and stress. Once again, any help would be appreciated. Scales Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00 |
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Warrior
Member # 5091
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written Sunday, December 5 2004 21:57
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Does it count if, uh, we're actually insane ourselves? Posts: 180 | Registered: Friday, October 15 2004 07:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 2984
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written Sunday, December 5 2004 22:08
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Myself... I'm paranoid (if that's a medical condition), and I may have a slight degree of Bipolar that comes out when stress levels rise. They tried to stick Attention Deficit Disorder on me (and drug me with Ritalin), and I'm glad they didn't succeed. Since most of my social contacts are via the Internet and I'm quite reserved when it comes to talking to people in real life, I could even see a quack coming up with a mild case of Asperger's. Funny how crazy you seem when you stop to look at yourself. Relations: I have an aunt who refuses to give us her non-indexed telephone number, but insists upon calling us at any opportunity and any hour, greeting us in a shrill voice and announcing herself as our "crazy old auntie". Does that count? -------------------- The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki! "Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft. "I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00 |
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...b10010b...
Member # 869
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written Sunday, December 5 2004 22:59
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I'm all kinds of messed up, and I used to be a very violent person. Nowadays, I have enough sense to simply avoid situations that make me angry. I'm not really any more stable now, but I'm no longer a danger to others. My advice is to ask your sisters what makes them angry. I know it's unfair that you'll essentially have to walk on eggshells around them, but remember, chances are that they don't actively wish you harm most of the time; they're no happier than you are about the fact that you keep infuriating them. -------------------- My BoE Page Bandwagons are fun! Roots Hunted! Posts: 9973 | Registered: Saturday, March 30 2002 08:00 |
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Master
Member # 1046
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written Monday, December 6 2004 02:43
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i'm an insane nephew, so there. -------------------- Polaris - Weather balloons, ninjas, and your big daddy Wise Man. What more could you want? Undead Theories - Don't Ask, Don't Tell Posts: 3323 | Registered: Thursday, April 25 2002 07:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 154
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written Monday, December 6 2004 07:09
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I have relatives. Put yourself in their position. :P -------------------- Inconsistently backward. SWOH. IM, PATF, ND. Posts: 612 | Registered: Saturday, October 13 2001 07:00 |
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Shake Before Using
Member # 75
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written Monday, December 6 2004 07:27
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UA, I know someone IRL who's worse than you, but 19 years old. :P Posts: 3234 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00 |
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Skip to My Lou
Member # 40
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written Monday, December 6 2004 07:37
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My older sister has a chemical imbalance. She takes medication for it, but with only limited success. She is unable to see that she has a problem. Fortuanately, she doesn't tend to be violent, however, she is frequently irrational and has trouble following paths of logic. For example, earlier today she had my dad drive her to work. She owns her own car, is fully capable of driving, and it is extemely inconvenient for my dad to drop her off and now my mom and I have to drop her car off to her so she can get home. Reasoning doesn't work, logic has no effect. She canstantly insists on strange things and continues to insist until you have clearly said "no" about 15 times or you agree. It can be difficult, but we just try to help her with out giving giving in to her more irrational or strange requests. -------------------- Take the Personality Test! INTJ 100% 75% 100% 44% Huzzah for the Masterminds! www.Keirsey.com for personality information. The Sloganizer! "Swing your Archmage Alex." Deep down, you wish you were a stick figure. Posts: 1629 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 4784
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written Monday, December 6 2004 08:12
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My brother-in-law has been instituted a couple of times. The first before my sister met him, the second after their oldest child turned six. The episode that sent him the second time involved the doctors giving him the wrong medicine causing him to believe the end of the world was coming. He'd stand outside in the middle of the night waiting to be raptured. He was also incresingly verbally abusive. My mother went over to help my sister with her 4 kids and he called her the Devil because she told the kids they didn't have to do something he had told them to do. When they took all the kids a few blocks away to another grandma's house to stay the night, he came over, grabbed the oldest kid (only six) and made him run in bare feet through the snow and ice back to their house. The police finally got involved then. They got him back on the right medication and he's better now. If your sister won't go to the doctor or take medication, then all you can do is stay on your guard and wait for her to do something that endangers herself or others. From experience, no one will do anything until then. They are just as afraid of being sued for infringing on your sister's rights as you are afraid of her doing someone harm. Tell everyone you trust about your concerns, they can help you moniter her behavior. If you're part of a church let them know. Most churches are just waiting for the opportunity to minister. You may only get prayer or you may get volunteers to come over and spend time with your sister and dad to help watch. The more people who witness her trying to do harm the better. The police might not get involved if there is only one and she denies it. Anyways, good luck with getting her the help she needs. [ Wednesday, December 08, 2004 06:49: Message edited by: Gizmo ] -------------------- Forever Always on Past the End tracihedlund@charter.net[/url] TrueSite for Blades - Blades Walkthroughs Pixle Profusion - BoE Graphics Archive Posts: 563 | Registered: Tuesday, July 27 2004 07:00 |
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Warrior
Member # 4267
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written Monday, December 6 2004 08:17
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my entire family is like this... they've mellowed with age though... I can't really offer any advice other than to call someone, preferably a professional like a police officer when things START to get out of hand, since standing in the way of such people can often get you hurt, and there isn't really anything you can do to help them. [if a person doesn't want to get better, they won't, even if you lock them in a mental institute.] -------------------- If everyone would just forgive someone else, so much pain would be taken off of all of our shoulders... but as tenderness is a virtue it is also a failing, any who would do such a thing usually fall to those who wouldn't. - Ezrah Posts: 50 | Registered: Thursday, April 15 2004 07:00 |
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Guardian
Member # 2476
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written Monday, December 6 2004 09:11
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quote:This seems a very good advice to me. Share the burden. Don't try to keep up appearances, and don't become a 'lone island'. If there's anything you are responsible for, then it is not your sisters, nor your dad. It's just yourself. There's no greater favour you can do your dad than follow your own inclinations, develop your potentials and become the man you want to be. [ Monday, December 06, 2004 09:12: Message edited by: ef ] -------------------- Polaris Posts: 1828 | Registered: Saturday, January 11 2003 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 4389
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written Monday, December 6 2004 13:46
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My sister is hystrionic and diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Control issues. Shes on an anti-depressant too, I think. And she does a lot of drugs, which don't apparently mix well with it. But she's also sixteen. -------------------- fame fame fatal fame it can play hideous tricks on the brain Posts: 407 | Registered: Friday, May 14 2004 07:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 73
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written Monday, December 6 2004 14:03
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I have Asperger's Syndrome, which is on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum. From what my psychologists have told me, a person with Asperger's may exhibit symptoms of ADHD, OCD, and bipolar, among other things. I've been hospitalized once for threatening suicide, I get hyperactive when my medication wears off, and I have a rather bad temper. I've gotten violent occasionally, but I'm getting better at controlling my temper. -------------------- The Lyceum - The Headquarters of the Blades designing community The Louvre - The Blades of Avernum graphics database Alexandria - The Blades of Exile Scenario database BoE Webring - Self explanatory Polaris - Free porn here Odd Todd - Fun for the unemployed (and everyone else too) Famous Last Words - A local pop-punk band They Might Be Giants - Four websites for one of the greatest bands in existance -------------------- 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Posts: 2957 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00 |
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Agent
Member # 618
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written Monday, December 6 2004 16:06
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My grandfather is a paranoid schizophrenic. Extremely irrational and so deaf that you can't even try to reason with him. My brother is a highly dependant sociopath. He has extreme trouble even trying to empathsise with anyone, however towards one or two people at a time, he will become highly dependant on them, to an almost dangerous point. I used to become extremely angry at the drop of the hat, but it became... kind of boring. I decided to channel it elsewhere, for when I needed to not be bothered by the background and just focus on something. I am probably some sort of obsessive myself. I refuse to do anything, that I have actually decided to do, half-arsed. -------------------- Aut Tace Aut Loquere Meliora Silencio Posts: 1487 | Registered: Sunday, February 10 2002 08:00 |
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Bob's Big Date
Member # 3151
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written Monday, December 6 2004 16:27
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I have many relatives living all over the Western US, so I'm just going to go into immediate relatives. Matrilinear. Grandfather: Withdrawn, very condescending and (apparently, though I've never noticed) prone to stuttering. Grandmother: Control freak, codependent, abusive, former alcoholic, likely Jew. You know what that means. Children. 1: Female, gay, former drug addict, hepatoid, indolent, in college for years but God knows for what. The aunt with whom my grandmother has apparently replaced my mother. 2: Male, drug addict. Cleaned up a while ago and now works at a gas station. 3: Male, drug addict. Still on the drugs, so far as I'm aware. Was taken into our home as an act of kindness; repaid it by poisoning us all by boiling lead slugs. Votes Republican. 4: My mother, more on which later. 5: Male, alcoholic. Fat fetishist, obsessive-compulsive, plumber, decent cook. Porked the wife of a Reno casino manager and disappeared without a trace a couple of years ago. Patrilinear. Great-grandmother: Ninety-six. Sane but completely senile and more or less confined to our grandparents' house. Grandmother: Control-freak, codependent, paranoid, obscenely overweight real-estate agent who has raised two generations of kids and is working on a third and has screwed every one up something fierce. Grandfather: Avoidant, brash, alcoholic, bigoted, connections to the Mafia. 1. Female. Even more obscenely overweight, paranoid, co-dependent, and married to a Mexican. Prone to irrational and violent behavior. 2. Male. Insecure, self-aggrandizing, codependent, alcoholic, living with an Asian woman and working as a dealer. Cards, not drugs. 3. My father, more on which later. Nuclear. Father: Arrogant, self-centered, insecurity-complexed, codependent, prone to temper tantrums, bigotry, Manicheanism. Physician. Mother: Superstitious to the point of nuttiness, codependent, absurdly avoidant, long-winded, absurdly world-trusting and at the same time absurdly over-protective, likely empty-nest candidate. Has adopted three dogs, five cats, a multitude of fish, and plants which she attempts to pawn off on the rest of us. 1. Myself, on which more later. 2. Male. Obessive-compulsive to an extreme degree, prone to severe temper tantrums, co-dependent, paranoid, avoidant. Obessed with physical appearance. 3. Male. Has absolutely no sense of apropos, quite possibly due to lead poisoning at a formative age. Myself: Jesus, son of God and redeemer of Mankind. -------------------- The biggest, the baddest, and the fattest. Posts: 2367 | Registered: Friday, June 27 2003 07:00 |
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Shock Trooper
Member # 58
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written Tuesday, December 7 2004 19:40
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I suppose some background might be helpful. My family and I immigrated to the US in 1987 when I was almost a decade old. Middle sister: She believes there is this vast conspiracy against the whole family, especially her. Before her hospitalisation about two years ago, she used to be more physical than now. For instance, she struck in a TV screen once. Currently, she is paranoid about surveillance, drugged food, and people trying to deport her. Note that we are citizens now. Eldest sister: She believes that she is stuck in a dream/alternate reality caused by some temporal distortion. My guess is this comes from watching too much Enterprise. She believes everyone in San Francisco is one of the following: vampire, werewolf, cannibal, phoenix, dead, or impostor. Depending on the day, the family falls into categories of vampire, impostor, or dead. She also thinks she is married to a pop star who is also a vampire, and sometimes a phoenix. As for herself, she is a vampire with a mission to "collect souls" and waiting for some kind of gate to open so she can exit this reality. To prepare for the exit, she has been systematically destroying her personal belongings and some of ours. These include books, photos, clothes, utensils, and furniture. When we try to stop her, she becomes violent, either verbally or physically. Her assigned therapist believes she has the mentality of a small child. This means she has no boundaries, no sense of responsibility, and the strength of a grown woman. Thuryl: I have attempted to talk to my sisters. The middle one doesn't seem to have much of a problem with me, just the rest of the world and my dad. The eldest has a problem with everyone. Err, just as a curiousity, how did you convince yourself to change your outlook? Gizmo: You're right about the authorities. The frustrating part is that she has the medication and access to therapy, but refuses both. I can't do much to make her comply, nor can the authorities. She is also superb actress (she was admitted to the army last year), which makes it even more difficult. As for religion, I'm not one for organised religion. I respect it, but have many personal objections to joining a church or temple. I am trying to field out support groups, mostly for my dad. Me, I'm kept sane by good friends, though they may be far away. The advice about volunteers might work, since my dad has relatives and friends who might be inclined to help. My only concern is that this might further aggravate my sisters' conspiracy theories. ef: I understand and agree what you're saying intellectually. Unfortunately, I was raised traditional Chinese, with heavy emphasis on family duty and honour. I can argue with myself and come to the logical conclusion, but at the end of the day, the small part of me that's been permamently brain-washed always prevails. So, I tend to put the needs of my family before my own. It often sucks, but that's life. Archmage Alex: How do you go about setting boundaries and how do you get her to take the meds? My eldest sister won't listen to me, and my dad too emotionally weak to be effective. Alec: I'm sorry, I really am. If anyone has ideas on how to reason with irrational people, feel free to air them. This includes the self-insane members. Posts: 286 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 4256
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written Tuesday, December 7 2004 19:51
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Nope, well not any living ones. My dad apparently had an Uncle Julian, that went bonkers after falling off the fire truck he was working on ( My Greatgrans owned a fire truck factory) and never spoke regular English again. None of the kids (my dad) were ever allowed near him because he would start screaming so he gained some type of prestige in their eyes. I guess someone like that would be institutionalized now a couple of years ago........ Any ways I consider the sane person to be an anomaly, not the norm. Sane means to act in a rational manner right? Who actually acts in an entirely rational matter. There are just different degrees of proximity to saneness(sp). Posts: 564 | Registered: Wednesday, April 14 2004 07:00 |
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...b10010b...
Member # 869
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written Tuesday, December 7 2004 20:39
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quote:I didn't; I changed my surroundings. I think I have just the same potential to be violent and unstable as I always did, but nowadays I avoid people and situations that tend to bring out that potential. Unfortunately, when someone thinks the whole world is out to get them, that's not much of an option. Sounds like what your sisters really need is medication, if that improves their condition; of course, it's hard to convince them to take it when they think you're trying to poison them. Can you think of any time when they weren't so intensely antagonistic toward you? If so, try and think about the features that characterised that time, and whether you can bring any of them into their lives now. -------------------- My BoE Page Bandwagons are fun! Roots Hunted! Posts: 9973 | Registered: Saturday, March 30 2002 08:00 |
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Off With Their Heads
Member # 4045
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written Tuesday, December 7 2004 21:05
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My mother's sister is pretty severely schizophrenic, and there's really nothing that anyone has figured out that we can do. She is coherent from moment to moment for the most part, but her long-term behavior and inner beliefs are seriously erratic. She lives in a small town in Northern California, and she has been fired from almost every possible job in the county. There's not much else that she can do around there, because every single employer has already fired her. We've never been able to figure out what to do, though. As they say, the first step is realizing that you have a problem, and she's never done that. It's been pointed out to her, and she has refused to believe it. But the only thing that I can say that's relevant from my own experience is that there's not much you can do directly unless the people you are dealing with realize that they have problems. I know a few people who have been through mental institutions, and they are pretty messed up places, so if that ends up being a necessity, I strongly suggest you do some research about the care provided at your institution of choice. Some of them are pretty horrible. -------------------- Arancaytar: Every time you ask people to compare TM and Kel, you endanger the poor, fluffy kittens. Kelandon's Pink and Pretty Page!!: the authorized location for all things by me The Archive of all released BoE scenarios ever Posts: 7968 | Registered: Saturday, February 28 2004 08:00 |
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Guardian
Member # 2476
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written Tuesday, December 7 2004 22:04
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quote:I'm not Chinese, but I've also been brought up to put my family's needs before my own. And therefore tried to the best of my ability to protect myself and my siblings from a ravingly mad stepfather and to strengthen and support my mother during those long years of hell and damnation. So I know the trap you are in. In my case, my siblings helped me. I wanted to get them out and be free, but they always only dared as much freedom as I showed them could be by living it myself. I felt torn between conflicting loyalties for some time, until I realized that as a member of a family that goes back many generations, my obligation to my family in this my presence did include to open up a path into the future and not let it all end in hopelessness and despair. You can't help your eldest sister, nobody can. There is no cure that we know of for people in her condition. Imagine your ancestors standing behind you. Wouldn't they want you to be their bridge into life, don't they hope to see you start a family of your own, isn't that also part of your honour and duty? -------------------- Polaris Posts: 1828 | Registered: Saturday, January 11 2003 08:00 |
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Master
Member # 1046
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written Wednesday, December 8 2004 04:42
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quote:i dunno about you, but as for me... the way i was raised was nothing close to traditional Chinese. i mean, my parents were pretty liberal ones, just because my family doesn't exactly do things in a traditional fashion i guess. though my brother and i were both raised to think that my parents are more important than ourselves, we're both similarly selfish. -------------------- Polaris - Weather balloons, ninjas, and your big daddy Wise Man. What more could you want? Undead Theories - Don't Ask, Don't Tell Posts: 3323 | Registered: Thursday, April 25 2002 07:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 73
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written Wednesday, December 8 2004 12:34
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Scales, hopitalization and medication are the only way they're going to get better. If you can get them into a good hospital, they can force them to take antipsychotics or whatever it is they need. The antipsychotics will help with the paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations, but they have strong (but generally non-dangerous) side effects, such as making them feel weak and tired. Once they start taking the medicine, they'll hopefully start to think and behave more normally. So how do you force them into a hospital? Ask the hospital. I have no idea. But the hospital might have ideas. -------------------- The Lyceum - The Headquarters of the Blades designing community The Louvre - The Blades of Avernum graphics database Alexandria - The Blades of Exile Scenario database BoE Webring - Self explanatory Polaris - Free porn here Odd Todd - Fun for the unemployed (and everyone else too) Famous Last Words - A local pop-punk band They Might Be Giants - Four websites for one of the greatest bands in existance -------------------- 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Posts: 2957 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00 |
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...b10010b...
Member # 869
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written Wednesday, December 8 2004 16:12
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Antipsychotics aren't as benign as ADoS makes out. A few patients suffer potentially fatal convulsions, and there can be debilitating long-term side effects as well. Still, some people do need them. -------------------- My BoE Page Bandwagons are fun! Roots Hunted! Posts: 9973 | Registered: Saturday, March 30 2002 08:00 |
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Warrior
Member # 5091
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written Wednesday, December 8 2004 19:30
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Take, for example, Zyprexa, which I was on for some time. All of the doctors told me that it was great, a modern psychatric superdrug with only minor side effects. I gained maybe 50 pounds. Zyprexa's side effects include marked weight gain. In addition to this, it's turning out that it also increases the chance of developing diabetes to no small degree, even when the weight gain is taken into account. This is bad for me, since I have a pretty strong family history of diabetes. Luckily, I'm off it now -- but it reversed about two years of prudent diet. Even the most moderate antipsychotics are pretty powerful stuff. Admittedly, my opinion of antipsychotics and mental hospitals is biased. I was thrown against my will into a psych ward for about a week. Only my constant complaining and the persuasive intervention of my brother kept me from staying in for the full 6+ week program. While I was in there, I seriously saw a "violent" (read: he was upset about being forcibly ordered to his room for, if I recall correctly, saying a bad word) patient held down and injected in the buttock with some sort of drug. Psych wards aren't a big campfire sing-along where people get along and hold hands. (In fact, all physical contact is strictly forbidden.) They're populated with everyone from the mildly depressed and suicidal to real nutjobs like me. (Since I was accused of being "violent", "suicidal", and "resisting medication", none of which I was, they put me in a particularly spartan room with a big fat lovely camera in one corner.) (By the way, my psychosis was treated by going after its root cause, bipolar disorder. Mileage may vary.) EDIT: And from personal experience, I can say the two things that you shouldn't be with a person in mental disarray are condescending or confrontational. They don't have control of how they are, so no use challenging them over it; on the other hand, they're not stupid, so no reason to talk down to them. The most annoying thing in the psych ward was the way the staff, to a person, treated you like you were either belligerent or dangerous. They were either in "authority" or "de-escalation" mode, and it was impossible to reason with them. In general, psych staff have been conditioned to assume anything you say is a result of delusion or a lie. For example, I had to individually convince each staff member that I was a vegetarian. (Literally. A number of them were skeptical and I had to refer them to other staff so they could be sure I was being "consistent.") The default mode of these people is to treat you like the world's most violent, irrational, and dishonest person, and to anyone with an inkling of self-respect, such an environment is absolutely unbearable. (Which, by the way, is purposeful. They make it crappy inside so you'll jump through hoops to get outside. And, of course, once you're outside, maybe you'll stop taking your drugs.) [ Wednesday, December 08, 2004 19:42: Message edited by: The Dog And Pony Show ] Posts: 180 | Registered: Friday, October 15 2004 07:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 2984
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written Wednesday, December 8 2004 21:12
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I expect if mental institutions were pleasant, humanity would become insane - sometimes my only motivation for holding on to what I call sanity is the idea of getting locked up. [ Wednesday, December 08, 2004 21:15: Message edited by: There flying Elwing came to him ] -------------------- The Encyclopaedia Ermariana <-- Now a Wiki! "Polaris leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like an insane watching eye which strives to convey some strange message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." --- HP Lovecraft. "I single Aran out due to his nasty temperament, and his superior intellect." --- SupaNik Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00 |
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