Looking for a shoulder to cry on...

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AuthorTopic: Looking for a shoulder to cry on...
Shock Trooper
Member # 1217
Profile Homepage #0
Hi everyone. I've been on vacation in ST. Louis since 6/23 and have had no internet access. During my stay, my dear Great Aunt Joan Gerhardt died of a heart attack. She was 77 and had been hospitalized for a hematoma in her right kidney. I was hoping that she would recover, and that I wouldn't know what it was like to lose someone close to you, but I guess that doesn't mean much... I was hoping this would be one place to turn for condolences, so whether or not you comfort me, at least take the time to acknowledge that we are bound by mortallity and death is a major part of life.

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Posts: 304 | Registered: Monday, May 27 2002 07:00
Warrior
Member # 2000
Profile Homepage #1
Coming to a public form and asking for pity from people based on the death of someone they never knew (Or ever will, looks like) is a foolish idea. Because you run into people like me. Who actually laugh and smile and take dear pleasure in the suffering of others. Everyone dies, you'll die, I'll die. Well, not me, but you will. Another old bat down the drain. Bah. Human life is so worthless, pointless, we sit here for a fraction of an eyeblink of overall time, and all we manage to do is fill the world with our waste and make more of our ugly selves. You want comfort? Know that there's no heaven and that when you die you won't see her. So, you've pretty much lost her forever and ever, least till the end of your own wretched exsitance. Wow...I can rant when trying to make people feel bad.
Ding, Dong, The Witch is Dead.

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Since Imban Likes to Edit my Posts ...

... And Drakey likes to edit your signature. Stop it, Ed.
Posts: 141 | Registered: Wednesday, October 2 2002 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #2
Going to a public forum for condolences is not necessarily foolish. As long as it is the right message board. However, spidweb seems to be traditionally a place that is not very sympathetic with such. :(

I do hope you find condolences somewhere else; meanwhile I offer mine. :(

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"And all should cry, Beware, Beware!
His Flashing eyes, his Floating hair!" S. T. Coleridge
---
"It is as if everyone had lost their sense
Consigned themselves to downfall and decadence
And a wisp it is they have chosen as their beacon." Reinhard Mey.
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Quote of the Week: "I have a high opinion of myself, which makes up for my total lack of intelligence." Anon.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Shaper
Member # 22
Profile #3
I'd contradict that, Arancayter. Ed just happens to be an extremely nasty person. There's always one bad egg in the bunch.

I offer my deepest condolences for your loss.

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KazeArctica: "Imagine...wangs everywhere...and tentacles. Nothing but wangs and tentacles! And no pants!"
Posts: 2862 | Registered: Tuesday, October 2 2001 07:00
BANNED
Member # 3121
Profile Homepage #4
If it wasn't this serious, I would probably act just like Ed, but death of a relative.. I somewhat know how it feels. My grandad had a heart attack a few years ago. He barely recóvered. After a year later, he got a new one. This too, he recovered from. I cannot explain the feeling here, in english, but you must know by now. Although it helps nothing, I am sorry, Izzannor. I hope you will be able to get over it. :(

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- WITH LOVE, THE OL' RELIABLE BOYLOVE, TO BE EXACT
Posts: 761 | Registered: Thursday, June 19 2003 07:00
Guardian
Member # 2476
Profile #5
I too know how it feels. And I would like to contradict Ed. What leaves you after a time is the feeling of loss. But the feelings of love and relatedness survive unharmed. Whatever she meant to you is a part of you and stays.

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Polaris
Posts: 1828 | Registered: Saturday, January 11 2003 08:00
Infiltrator
Member # 2628
Profile Homepage #6
Please accept my condolences on your loss.

Eleven years ago I lost my grandfather after a very long illness (of several years duration) and 3 weeks later my youngest brother, aged 24, died unexpectedly. My grandmother also passed away (after a relatively brief illness) 4 years ago.

I was very close to my grandparents and to my brother. Fortunately I do believe in heaven, and at times of great stress I have felt that they are 'up there' looking out for me.

I found that allowing myself time to grieve (and not expecting myself to 'snap out of it') helped. Also, it helped me when I learnt that grieving is a process that involves many different feelings, and that's normal and ok.

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We meet and part now over all the world;
we, the lost company,
take hands together in the night, forget
the night in our brief happiness, silently.
-- Judith Wright

My website
Posts: 512 | Registered: Wednesday, February 12 2003 08:00
Erudite*
Member # 3042
Profile #7
I, too, offer my condolences and sympathy to you. I know what it is like to lose a relative, and also know that it was good for you to turn to us. It is never the right thing to keep everything inside. I will be thinking of you in this time of struggle and loss.

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The Club of All
Chance Forums
I was once member #2475, but then my account was deleted because of a bug.
Post count=406+whatever it says below.
Posts: 402 | Registered: Thursday, May 29 2003 07:00
Shock Trooper
Member # 3239
Profile #8
Okay Ed, I think that this might be your philosophy towards life:

Speak your mind and look out for yourself
The answer to it all is a life of wealth
Grab all you can cuz you just live once
You got the right to do whatever you want
Don't worry about others or where you came from
It ain't what youre worth, it's what you become.

-From DC Talk's song "What have We Become"

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I AM TEH BOOGEYMAN CORP.

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And since the stupid link won't work, I'll use this one:
Chance Forums
Posts: 203 | Registered: Saturday, July 19 2003 07:00
BANNED
Member # 4
Profile Homepage #9
Ed, you are a bastard and a rantallion. Die in a hole, preferably far away from any of us.

While an emotionless shell of a human being can't really offer you condolences, at least know that I don't approve of Mr. Lemur's behavior one bit, and most of the board doesn't as well.

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We're all amazed but not amused
By all the things that you said you'd do.
You're much concerned but not involved by
Decisions that are made by you
But we are sick and tired of hearing your song,
Telling us how you are going to change right from wrong,
'Cause if you really want to hear our views,
You haven't done nothin'.

Posts: 6936 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #10
I don't think flaming is appropriate in this kind of thread, and also it usually makes matters worse; otherwise Ed would get his share from me.

[ Saturday, July 26, 2003 09:27: Message edited by: Arancaytar ]

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"And all should cry, Beware, Beware!
His Flashing eyes, his Floating hair!" S. T. Coleridge
---
"It is as if everyone had lost their sense
Consigned themselves to downfall and decadence
And a wisp it is they have chosen as their beacon." Reinhard Mey.
---
Quote of the Week: "I have a high opinion of myself, which makes up for my total lack of intelligence." Anon.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Warrior
Member # 341
Profile #11
Christ Ed.
You disgust me.
Fashionable cynicism stops when a subject actually means something to somebody.
Christ.
Just F*** off.

Izzannor, I am deeply saddenned by your loss, and my best wishes are with you. Ed is not representative of anyone here, and I know we all wish you only the best. It sounds hollow, as condolences always do, but I truly hope that the weight of grief begins to lift.

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"This stolen joke proves I have a sense of humour!"
"This tired old proverb proves I am profound"
"This hyperlink to someone who doesn't know me proves I am popular!"

Nothing like a bandwagon.

Except maybe irony.
Posts: 159 | Registered: Monday, December 3 2001 08:00
Guardian
Member # 2339
Profile #12
quote:
Originally written by Izzannor of Avernum:

Hi everyone. I've been on vacation in ST. Louis since 6/23 and have had no internet access. During my stay, my dear Great Aunt Joan Gerhardt died of a heart attack. She was 77 and had been hospitalized for a hematoma in her right kidney. I was hoping that she would recover, and that I wouldn't know what it was like to lose someone close to you, but I guess that doesn't mean much... I was hoping this would be one place to turn for condolences, so whether or not you comfort me, at least take the time to acknowledge that we are bound by mortallity and death is a major part of life.
I feel sorry for you, Izzannor. But as I've heard people on tv say:
"She is in a better place now."
...Unless she was evil. But I highly doubt that.

Hopefully my cat will live for a long time...

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Posts: 1779 | Registered: Monday, December 9 2002 08:00
One Thousand Slimy Things
Member # 66
Profile #13
Do not feed the troll kids. Wychwenthal, clean up the flames from your post. And never use the words "fashionable" and "cynicism" together.

And keeping it all inside is healthy, if you want to become a cold, distant type person. *cough*

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Saundersw3: And bitter is better!
Posts: 995 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Shaper
Member # 496
Profile #14
My condolences, Izzannore - not exactly what you went on holiday for. 77 was a good run though and there are a lot more protracted and unpleasant ways to go (cancer, etc). How well did you know your relative and is it the first you knew who died? If you didn't know her well, you won't miss her much and if you did, you will find yourself thinking less and less + mourning less and less over the next year or two. If this is the first time someone you knew died, try not to take it too hard. Death is a part of life, eventually our own. We should accept it like everything else, a fitting (and inevitable) end to lives well lived.

BTW, I think it's good people turn to these boards for emotional support, implying its some sort of community in a full sense, though Izzannore had best talk to his family and (to a lesser extent) RL friends too, who know the situation better and will probably be more help.
Posts: 2333 | Registered: Monday, January 7 2002 08:00
Shaper
Member # 73
Profile #15
Indeed. I posted here when my grandfather died, and the community was very supportive. And Ed wasn't there. Which is good.
My father also died a few years ago, as well as my great grandmother, so I think I can say I know what it feels like. Of course, I can't be certain.
My deepest sympathies.

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Posts: 2957 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Shock Trooper
Member # 3026
Profile #16
Well no, actually, I think wychwenthal's perfectly right. I'd say exactly the same bloody thing if I thought it would make a difference, but I don't, so instead I'll offer my condolences to Izzannor.
My grandmother died last year, and if anybody said something to me which remotely resembled what Ed said, I'd feel so completely depressed, to realise that even during a time of grief some bastard would have the heartlessness to come along and... I'll stop now.

I'm sorry, Izzanor. It's extremely sad when somebody close to you passes away.

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And this was very odd because
It was the middle of the night
- Lewis Carrol

well well well aren't we resilient

Oh the fun

Most generalizations are, unfortunately, true.
Posts: 212 | Registered: Sunday, May 25 2003 07:00
Infiltrator
Member # 2669
Profile Homepage #17
I've been to three funerals already this year.
Although I don't believe in god or heaven, I do believe that the deceased live on in our memories. So as long as you occasionally stop and think about them, they'll always be with you.

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...
Posts: 647 | Registered: Wednesday, February 19 2003 08:00
Shake Before Using
Member # 75
Profile #18
Ed? If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. :P

(Also, if you can't say anything that makes sense, you shouldn't say anything at all, but I'll probably rant to you on AIM about that if I remember.)

Seriously, though, that just sucks. :/

[ Saturday, July 26, 2003 13:43: Message edited by: Imban ]
Posts: 3234 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Master
Member # 1046
Profile Homepage #19
sigh... i would say i understand how you feel, IoA, but i was just too young when my grandmother died on me - i was only 9 when she passed away... in fact, 3 of my grandparents are dead, and my paternal grandmother is dying. :(

still, you can cry on my shoulder...

[ Saturday, July 26, 2003 14:04: Message edited by: Paradoxical Wise Man ]

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Urban wisdom is not actual wisdom. It's more like the seemingly philosophical statements that sometimes leak out of my strange mind through my mouth, or in the case of message boards, my hands.
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Clan Xeon - Warcraft III clan
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Posts: 3323 | Registered: Thursday, April 25 2002 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #20
I wonder if Ed's post constitutes a text "intended to harass [or] belittle [...] a fellow member."

It's not only tactless, but extremely insolent; it's basically the equivalent of cracking jokes at a funeral.

If you enjoy doing such things Ed, I must say you're sick.

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"And all should cry, Beware, Beware!
His Flashing eyes, his Floating hair!" S. T. Coleridge
---
"It is as if everyone had lost their sense
Consigned themselves to downfall and decadence
And a wisp it is they have chosen as their beacon." Reinhard Mey.
---
Quote of the Week: "I have a high opinion of myself, which makes up for my total lack of intelligence." Anon.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Member # 919
Profile #21
Izzannor, I am sorry for your loss. I am generally very distant from my family, for some reason, but the two deaths in my family both caught up to me eventually, and I know that it must be much worse for anyone who isn't as distant as I am. I offer my condolences, my prayers (sice I do believe in God and Heaven), and my shoulder.

Ed, please die. Horribly. kthxbye

Which reminds me, Izzannor, completely ignore Ed's post. Don't even read it, and if it's too late for that, at least forget it.

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And though the musicians would die, the music would live on in the imaginations of all who heard it.
-The Last Pendragon

TEH CONSPIRACY IZ ALL

Les forum de la chance.

In case of emergency, break glass.
Posts: 3351 | Registered: Saturday, April 6 2002 08:00
Shake Before Using
Member # 75
Profile #22
Ed? This is a warning not to do this sort of stuff again. It is breaking the CoC.

(Wychwenthal, please don't use masked cursing either.)
Posts: 3234 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Warrior
Member # 2000
Profile Homepage #23
Oh Fück you Imban. I'm voicing my opinion in a constructive way rather then flaming like 99% of the idiots here. Facists, that's all you are. If that's a crime then send me right back to being banned...You can't tell me how to think. Also, TM...You're such a little liar. You are about emotionless as I don't hate every last human being. I've seen you whine and cry and beg and plead to people. You're weak minded, and easy to control. Go back to your wife in Nova Scotia.
For the rest of you:
http://www.geocities.com/sinisterchan/****you.jpg
Gotta copy and paste that into a new window. Stupid Geocities. Words probably going to get blanked out too. You can guess what it is and replace the ****s with it.
God: He will have another and die painfully.
Kyna: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Oh God that's funny...All those death's huh? BWAHHA. Never ever again...Aaah...life is sweet.
Zephyr: Cats live a very short time. Then they freeze to death during the winter and you find them in a block of ice.
And...for anyone else who's ever lost anyone...Mentioning it just makes my life feel more grand.
-Lemur

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Since Imban Likes to Edit my Posts ...

... And Drakey likes to edit your signature. Stop it, Ed.
Posts: 141 | Registered: Wednesday, October 2 2002 07:00
Bob's Big Date
Member # 3151
Profile Homepage #24
quote:
Originally written by Lemur Industries:

Oh Fück you Imban. I'm voicing my opinion in a constructive way rather then flaming like 99% of the idiots here. Facists, that's all you are. If that's a crime then send me right back to being banned...You can't tell me how to think. Also, TM...You're such a little liar. You are about emotionless as I don't hate every last human being. I've seen you whine and cry and beg and plead to people. You're weak minded, and easy to control. Go back to your wife in Nova Scotia.
For the rest of you:
http://www.geocities.com/sinisterchan/****you.jpg
Gotta copy and paste that into a new window. Stupid Geocities. Words probably going to get blanked out too. You can guess what it is and replace the ****s with it.
God: He will have another and die painfully.
Kyna: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Oh God that's funny...All those death's huh? BWAHHA. Never ever again...Aaah...life is sweet.
Zephyr: Cats live a very short time. Then they freeze to death during the winter and you find them in a block of ice.
And...for anyone else who's ever lost anyone...Mentioning it just makes my life feel more grand.
-Lemur

Someone obviously thinks he is unique and special, much like a beautiful snowflake, and is very wrong.

[ Saturday, July 26, 2003 22:21: Message edited by: General Custer ]

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In a word, gay.
--Bob the Impaler

Posts: 2367 | Registered: Friday, June 27 2003 07:00

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