The Spiderweb Instant Custom Title Generator?
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Shaper
Member # 6292
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 12:11
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quote:It didn't start out privately. It started out with Kel and I disagreeing respectfully enough in the course of various topics here, which is entirely par for the course in an online forum. Recently, the increasingly barbed nature of Kel's every comment directed my way caused me to half-jokingly write, "I don't think Kel likes me anymore." Kel was good enough to notice that I presume, and within a couple of days IM'ed me to say he didn't mean anything by his comments except that he disagrees with so much of what I have been saying. When I asked why it felt like there was more than just disagreement behind the remarks I'd been seeing, he eventually said things which startled and disappointed, and frankly, yeah, hurt me to hear. On another day, dealing with less stress going on in my life, I would have dealt with it much more coolly and graciously. Maybe I wouldn't even have cared, much like TM's rants and criticisms don't bother me. But either way I would have wanted to talk it out and come to whatever resolution on the matter we could, because I got the sense Kel was angry or highly annoyed with me, and maybe I had done something to personally offend him I should know about. But Kel said he didn't think we had an issue and didn't want to talk with me about it at all. Therefore, I was not permitted to talk it out privately with him. It was basically a hit and run, which I consider a cowardly thing to do, and it made me a lot more angry than the simple fact that he considers me an idiot. Any human being wants some respect, even in disagreement, and I was shocked to find Kel appeared to have none for me. I didn't want to have the pleasure I have enjoyed here at SW tainted by some lingering sense of someone who despises and disrespects me having it in for me around every corner, someone whom till that moment I had thought I had a friendly and respectful relationship with, so I tried the only other thing which I believed had a hope of forcing Kel to face our contention and not ignore it, so we could get it over with. I agree, it's really quite inappropriate to drag things into the open for its own sake or inflict it on these boards. I saw no other recourse, and am willing to break rules when more poignant issues of hearts and relationships are on the line. I also hoped we'd reconcile our differences to some resonable degree quickly—which we did. It seems like other people are determined to not let it die, and I don't mean Kel. But I was sorry to see this morning that Kel considers the whole thing stupid. Disagreements and offenses happen. It's life. It's unfortunate, and plenty about it is always stupid, but that doesn't mean it's not important to address. Most contentions in life seem to revolve around communication issues and misunderstandings anyway, and I will own up to my own ability to misconstrue or over-react. But to have someone call the fact that something he did or said to upset me is stupid is just a slap in the face after an apology. It belittles my values, even if he doesn't agree with them. I'm done with seeking to extract anything from Kel on the matter and I wish him no ill will. I apologize to those present who were offended by anything done here. I am not sorry for choosing to do it however. Conserving electrons on a fleeting electronic bulletin board about games is hardly as important as seeking to somehow address grievances between two people in my book. Games are fantasy and trivial. Relationships, even via internet, are something of real life. Peace. -------------------- A4 Item Locations A4 Singleton G4 Items List G4 Forging List The Insidious Infiltrator Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00 |
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Raven v. Writing Desk
Member # 261
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 12:49
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I'm going to confine myself to addressing one point, which I feel I can't ignore. quote:You can't do that. As an aspiring counsellor you ought to know better. There are situations where it is appropriate and productive to force someone to face something. They are rare, and this was definitely not one of them. It is one thing to be persistent. It is one thing to encourage someone. I'd even say those things are critical. But it is another thing entirely to erode their sense of psychological safety through the use of actual force. Even if you succeed in getting the other person to address what you want addressed, nothing good will come of it. By using force on them, you have made it hard for them to trust you. As far as I am concerned, this kind of social manipulation, abusing the inherent power of community for a partial end, is appropriate at pretty much the same times that threatening physical force is appropriate. Who knows -- perhaps Kelandon would have benefitted from a frank and open discussion with you. Perhaps not. You don't know the answer. Frank and open discussions are often a good policy, but they are not panaceas for everything. Kelandon decided, for whatever reason, that he didn't want to continue the one you were having. Attempting to force someone to continue a conversation they want to end, because you think it would be productive, is akin to saying "I know what's good for you better than you do." You may have been right, who knows. But it's one thing to urge the other person to keep talking, and it's another to use force. -------------------- Slarty vs. Desk • Desk vs. Slarty • Timeline of Ermarian • G4 Strategy Central Posts: 3560 | Registered: Wednesday, November 7 2001 08:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 6292
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 13:16
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I agree with everything you said, Slartucker. So there's my glaring weakness–my need sometimes to exact from a situation what I feel I need for my own well-being. It's quite selfish. Frequently my "persistence" ultimately works out for the better, despite this, and however messy it gets, obviously sometimes it may not. Either way, as I continue to "work on my own stuff," I am confident I will continue to less and less frequently hit these moments where something seems so monumentally and immediately important. Like I said, this all hit me at an especially vulnerable moment for me, and I don't care to elaborate on that any more. -------------------- A4 Item Locations A4 Singleton G4 Items List G4 Forging List The Insidious Infiltrator Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00 |
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Off With Their Heads
Member # 4045
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 14:01
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Synergy: There are PMs and e-mail. You could have used other means. -------------------- Arancaytar: Every time you ask people to compare TM and Kel, you endanger the poor, fluffy kittens. Smoo: Get ready to face the walls! Ephesos: In conclusion, yarr. Kelandon's Pink and Pretty Page!!: the authorized location for all things by me The Archive of all released BoE scenarios ever Posts: 7968 | Registered: Saturday, February 28 2004 08:00 |
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Guardian
Member # 2476
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 15:09
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quote:As you train to be a professional counselor, 'selfishness' is not the issue that needs to be addressed. Forcing someone means disrespecting that person's boundaries, using violence is a violation. Your clients should not have to fear that their therapist reinforces and strengthens a pattern, that a lot of them are all too familiar with. -------------------- Polaris Rache's A3 Site reformatted 2/3 done Rache's A3 Site, original version Posts: 1828 | Registered: Saturday, January 11 2003 08:00 |
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? Man, ? Amazing
Member # 5755
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 15:23
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It's over then? All agree to agree or disagree as you will? Glad to hear you are training to be a counselor Syn, where had you made that announcement? I only looked at the final page here and didn't see it. Time to go back to the custom titling or is it just time to walk away... *this message is a service of your local bomb squad* -------------------- quote: Posts: 4114 | Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 335
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 15:39
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Social interaction and counseling are very different activities and have very different rules. I would honestly be annoyed with Synergy if he took it upon himself to take on the role of counselor when I'm trying to have a conversation. —Alorael, who is sure counseling has many lessons to impart on everyday interactions. Not forcing issues can be one of them. Being a counselor all the time had better not be one of them. Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00 |
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Raven v. Writing Desk
Member # 261
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 16:11
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I was just talking in general terms -- treating people with respect and giving them freedom is pretty universally relevant. Good luck being a counselor all the time. I think that is a good way to make your head explode. -------------------- Slarty vs. Desk • Desk vs. Slarty • Timeline of Ermarian • G4 Strategy Central Posts: 3560 | Registered: Wednesday, November 7 2001 08:00 |
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BANNED
Member # 4
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 17:47
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quote:I don't have to read your posts to know that they're intellectually bankrupt. -------------------- * Posts: 6936 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 2984
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 18:33
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quote:Something strikes me as strange about this statement. -------------------- Encyclopaedia Ermariana • Forum Archives • Forum Statistics • RSS [Topic / Forum] My Blog • Polaris • I eat novels for breakfast. Polaris is dead, long live Polaris. Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair. Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00 |
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Councilor
Member # 6600
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 18:42
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Well, at least Synergy tries. TM doesn't. Dikiyoba. Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 4153
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 19:02
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quote:Agreed. And this topic really, really needs to die, or else it needs to revert to the titling bit. -------------------- Gamble with Gaea, and she eats your dice. I hate undead. I really, really, really, really hate undead. With a passion. Posts: 4130 | Registered: Friday, March 26 2004 08:00 |
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BANNED
Member # 4
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 19:05
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 [ Wednesday, February 15, 2006 19:14: Message edited by: Prometheus ] -------------------- * Posts: 6936 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 247
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 19:57
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Both Kelandon and Synergy are wrong. I am right! -------------------- The Knight Between Posts. Posts: 2395 | Registered: Friday, November 2 2001 08:00 |
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Agent
Member # 3364
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 20:07
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quote:I'm finally catching up on some reading but I'm cheating with this thread. Only the first post and part of page six made it to my eyes in the opposite order. Just wanted to say, Aww, shucks Synergy. So sweet of you to say so. As for the rest... uh... I really need to do the recycling. Right. Now. -------------------- "Even the worst Terror from Hell can be transformed to a testimony from Heaven!" - Rev. David Wood 6\23\05 "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." - John Wesley Posts: 1001 | Registered: Tuesday, August 19 2003 07:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 2836
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 20:15
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You know, I never realised we had so many members. Just by looking at the first page, I'm surprised. But you haven't done one for me yet... Posts: 587 | Registered: Tuesday, April 1 2003 08:00 |
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Too Sexy for my Title
Member # 5654
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 20:19
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I just noticed, One Resistant Babe ??? Posts: 1035 | Registered: Friday, April 1 2005 08:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 6489
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 20:31
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I've got to ask. What's the story behind Drakefyre's proposed title? -------------------- "You're drinking liquor because you're thirsty? How nasty is your freaking water?" —Lazarus Spiderweb Chat Room Avernum RP • Summaries • OoC • Roster Shadow Vale - My site, home of the Spiderweb Chat Database, BoA Scenario Database, & the A1 Quest List, among other things. Posts: 1556 | Registered: Sunday, November 20 2005 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 3040
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 20:43
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quote:That's because even members who have several hundred posts sometimes don't make their personality known enough to have people recognize them. Or even more posts than that. Wise Man has more than three thousand posts, but the majority of them are one liners. If we don't count quotes, I'd say almost 100 percent of Wise Man's posts are 3 lines or less. [ Wednesday, February 15, 2006 20:49: Message edited by: wz. arsenic... ] -------------------- 5.0.1.0.0.0.0.1.0... Posts: 508 | Registered: Thursday, May 29 2003 07:00 |
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...b10010b...
Member # 869
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 20:59
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quote:Alice in Wonderland reference, of course. -------------------- The Empire Always Loses: This Time For Sure! Posts: 9973 | Registered: Saturday, March 30 2002 08:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 4153
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 21:07
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quote:Ack... what brought on this change? -------------------- Gamble with Gaea, and she eats your dice. I hate undead. I really, really, really, really hate undead. With a passion. Posts: 4130 | Registered: Friday, March 26 2004 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 2836
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 21:58
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quote:Okay, I get it now. Maybe I should post more? Posts: 587 | Registered: Tuesday, April 1 2003 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 3220
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 21:59
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At least Spiderweb has no (however loosely) associated anonymous boards (that I know of). It's even more fun when you don't know exactly who finds you objectionable. Posts: 437 | Registered: Sunday, July 13 2003 07:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 6292
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written Wednesday, February 15 2006 22:53
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hmmmm........ hmmmmmmmm...... hm... ef - I am training to be a psychotherapist. It may be hugely assumptive to expect that how I may behave in my worst moments in the surreal la la land of an online gaming forum is indicative of how I do or would ever treat a client. Salmon - I didn’t mention it in this thread. I think I mentioned it a couple months back. Thanks for the kind word. Alo - Even I don’t have it in me to make myself that patronizing and irritating, exluding any irrelevant opinion that TM may feel an irrepressible compulsion to share. Jewels - Sweet as ever. And not the brain-damaging Aspartame™ sort. Real honey. Stew Boy - I know thee not. Answer my questions five (previously posed to Spring) and ye too may have hopes of name transmanglification. Selima - Yes, that’s right. You did decline our lovely Valentine rose. The SICTG™ deemed it technically factual. Thurly is correct. Drakey, for reasons known wholly only by himself, imposes his Malice in Wonderland fetish upon numerous unsuspecting custom title recipients. Ephesos - It has something to do with your enthusiastic spell casting style (RETRIBUTION!) fused with your well-known affinity for all things unliving. It also had something to do with the boredom of the SICTG™ the other day. It could be convinced to switch things around for a small, discrete bribe. Some Lithuanian black market vacuum tubes might suffice. Stew Boy - Sometimes less is more, but I frequently fail to take my own advice, so knock yourself out if it suits you. -------------------- A4 Item Locations A4 Singleton G4 Items List G4 Forging List The Insidious Infiltrator Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 5450
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written Thursday, February 16 2006 00:36
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quote:1) Australia. 2) Friends 3) Friends 4) Green 5) Monty Python. -------------------- I'll put a Spring in your step. :ph34r: Posts: 2396 | Registered: Saturday, January 29 2005 08:00 |