The Spiderweb Art Movement.

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AuthorTopic: The Spiderweb Art Movement.
Shaper
Member # 3442
Profile Homepage #0
Come one, come all, to what will hopefully be a showcasing of the talent here on Spiderweb. The idea is you post a piece of art, be it literature, a drawing, or whatever, and let your fellow members comment them!

All of the work posted here remain the property of those who post them, and any comments made should be constructive and helpful, rather than just "yeah, your story sucks".

I'll get the ball rolling, with some of my woeful poetry...

Virginity Spent

Twilight settles slowly,
Beneath a bitter cherry sky,
Within the city’s sickly glow,
A hundred voices sigh:

“I’m tired of waking lonely,
I’m sick of all I see,
From this ‘life’ I’m “living”,
Will no one rescue me?”

And in the dreary moonlit night,
A wind stirs treetops tall,
Behind the windows of the world,
A hundred voices call:

“I’m tired of feeling empty,
I’m sick of all I hear,
In every waking moment,
I wish to feel you near.”

And in the cluttered bedrooms,
Of the ones who cry these pleas,
The words of one just like them
Will bring them to their knees.

--------------------
And when you want to Live
How do you start?
Where do you go?
Who do you need to know?


*Name by Slarty
Posts: 2864 | Registered: Monday, September 8 2003 07:00
Master
Member # 5977
Profile Homepage #1
Well, you already know that my opinion on your poem. I liked it a lot. The way you expres that hopelesness, that pure depression of the poem is something you are already well aware of it being something I find very beautifull. Also the way you constructed this poem (comment - spoken text - comment - spoken text - comment, or however you would like to put it) I find quite special and very nice. the way you end, focusing on only one of the group, is something I also find quite beautifull.

Here is a poem I wrote while being depressed:

----

Looking outside the window

Looking outside the window,
I see blackness.
The blackness of sorrow and pain.
They are falling like a thousand drops,
Pouring out like rain.

The sun has vanished,
Hiding behind the clouds.
Thunder and lightning rule the day,
While a thousand living corpses walk the world,
Smelling of decay.

And if the sun would come,
Were there anything to see?
How about the trees?
How about the flowers?
In between them all the bees?

Lightning and thunder struck them down,
And all that remains are their trunks,
Equal to big, dark towers.
That is what became of the trees,
What became of the flowers.

And if the clouds would remain,
What would happen next?
The world would turn insane,
Making people mad.
A darkness and fear would rule the day.

Sun is our hope,
To shine brightly all day,
It will never go away,
Making people happy,
Making people free.

The sun will need our help,
For all those clouds are thick and evil.
Their lightning will not strike us again,
Together we will ban them from the world,
I know we can…

But thunder and lightning is still there,
The sky remains untouched.
For all I see is blackness,
(Blackness like in death,)
And all I can do about it,
Is not much and even less.

-----

To understand what exactly I mean: It wrote it while getting heavily depressed about The conflict in the middle east. I chose israel's side, as I always do (please, don't start a discussion about this). However, while it was inspired by this conflict I'm talking about terrorism as a whole, and not only the Palastines and Hesbollah.

--------------------
Play and rate my scenarios:

Where the rivers meet
View my upcoming scenario: The Nephil Search: Escape.

Give us your drek!
Posts: 3029 | Registered: Saturday, June 18 2005 07:00
Cartographer
Member # 1851
Profile Homepage #2
How about a comment simply to say "Yes, I like it"? I have to admit, I've never really understood poetry. The most I enjoy when the verses rhyme, but other than that I haven't been able to get in to the whole idea. Poetry might be too deep for me. :P

Okay, so I like both of your poems. I do not mind the subjects either; rather they fit into the sort of things I like to read and write. More constructive criticism I can't quite offer. Your poems work and it's my personal view that if it's good enough, it doesn't need to be perfect (as impossible as that is).

Since I don't write poems, but short stories, I won't be posting anything wholly here. Not that my short stories are that long, but I think my posts would be unnecessarily long. Instead I give you a link to one of my most emotional pieces I've written. It's actually a little bit wrong in interpreting those verses, but its point still stands. Written when I was feeling very down.

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"I'm not crazy!"
"Well, whatever. Maybe you just ate something really questionable, or perhaps someone hit you on the head with something large, blunt and heavy just now. By the way..." Gil nudged Grul pointedly.

Ooh! Homepage - Blog - Geneforge, +2, +3 - My Elfwood Gallery and DevArt page
So many strange ones around. Don't you think?
Posts: 1308 | Registered: Sunday, September 8 2002 07:00
Too Sexy for my Title
Member # 5654
Profile #3
quote:
Originally written by The Green Dragon:

I have to admit, I've never really understood poetry. The most I enjoy when the verses rhyme, but other than that I haven't been able to get in to the whole idea. Poetry might be too deep for me. :P

Ditto. I don't think I've ever written a good poem. I actually convinced my friend to give me some of her poems for poetry class in high school. I was that bad at it. But a boring two hour class can do wonders for your writing appetite. Anyways, I wrote this poem a couple of days ago. It's short, which I hate. And my rhyming sucks, but I'm used to it. I hope you like it

"I'm alone, lonely and upset, and at the moment you left
My knees knelt, my heart melt, and I just felt completely bent
I wanted someone to pull out my poor and dear heart
And just rip it apart
Shred it into pieces and slaughter it
until there's absolutely nothing left"
Posts: 1035 | Registered: Friday, April 1 2005 08:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 6403
Profile #4
One of my favorite pieces of poetry, written by Scott "Fadekiller" I-don't-know-his-last-name.
quote:
I woke early one morning,
the earth lay cool and still
when suddenly a tiny bird
perched on my window sill.
He sang a song so lovely,
so carefree and so happy,
that slowly all my troubles
began to slip away.

He sang of far off places,
of laughter and of fun,
it seemed his very trilling
brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers,
crept slowly out of bed,
then gently shut the window,
and crushed his ****ing head.

I'm not a morning person.


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??? ??????
???? ?????
Posts: 883 | Registered: Wednesday, October 19 2005 07:00
Cartographer
Member # 1851
Profile Homepage #5
Okay, okay. This is a good start, but it's not enough. I think perhaps, instead of just showing off something little, we need to give more. Because giving is good and so give we must.

Not necessarily your works, although they may be the point. I like reading and writing (they are my obsessions), but why do you do it? Why do you write? What are you motivations or perhaps.. your passions?

Personally, I'm simply enthralled by all the things that could never be real. I love fantasy beyond all other genres. Hell, I'd rather read about living a life rather than live one myself. Right now it's nearly 5am and I am not sleepy one bit. I've just read a bunch of short stories and intend to read a bunch more. This is partially because I'm sort of trying to avoid thinking about a story and partially because I AM thinking about it. It's another personal challenge. I mean to write something I've never had the guts to even consider writing before. Yes. Romancing. >.>

But that's just me. I get obsessed. But it's not all there is. There's also the humorous story about a troll, a mermaid and a centaur and I can barely wait to write another chapter. And at the same time I wish I was (re)writing my last year's NaNo story, or just writing this year's NaNo story (October, November, come faster!). Not to mention all the short stories I've wanted to cleanup and finish for years.

What about you? What are you doing right now? Anything you feel like putting down on paper, so to say? Any topics that feel interesting? Characters, situations, scenes?

I crave more words. Surely you have what I need. Don't you?

EDIT: I can't help but think I must be some kind of ravenous monster who is after your very thoughts. It is pleasing mental image. :)

[ Monday, September 18, 2006 16:54: Message edited by: The Green Dragon ]

--------------------
"I'm not crazy!"
"Well, whatever. Maybe you just ate something really questionable, or perhaps someone hit you on the head with something large, blunt and heavy just now. By the way..." Gil nudged Grul pointedly.

Ooh! Homepage - Blog - Geneforge, +2, +3 - My Elfwood Gallery and DevArt page
So many strange ones around. Don't you think?
Posts: 1308 | Registered: Sunday, September 8 2002 07:00
Guardian
Member # 2238
Profile Homepage #6
I'm currently writing lyrics for a musical project I've had underway for about... 2 weeks. In short, it's a story about a boy and a girl (of course). There's a bit more depth to it, obviously, but I won't disclose that just yet.

I've also been coming up with idea after idea for a game project my roommate and I have decided to undertake. The various ideas have mostly been in the fantasy swords-n-sorcery realm, in the shape of a cooperative hack 'n slash through story driven campaigns. I like the idea, but I've recently been toying with the setting, and I think it would be cool to have it set in a pre-KoToR, Star Wars history. I'm talkin' ancient.

All this, school work, and friendship drama have left little time for my drawing. Sad, I know. Maybe I'll throw something together later this week to present.

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DEMON PLAY,
DEMON OUT!
Posts: 1582 | Registered: Wednesday, November 13 2002 08:00
? Man, ? Amazing
Member # 5755
Profile #7
I met this guy from Nantucket
who kept his wife's head in a bucket.
Life wasn't done with 'er,
She's just ugly as an ogre.
Now, how can I end this with f*****?

And on that note I will forever cease composing poetry.

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quote:
Originally written by Kelandon:

Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing.


Posts: 4114 | Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #8
Somehow this has drifted implicitly toward poetry. So I'd like to post a reminder that if you have visual art or prose to share, that can go in here too...

I haven't been productive lately. Productive = "have written a single creative word" and lately = "the last couple of months". So for now I'll dredge something up from my collection, and later try to write something new (a Mountain of Shadows post'd be favorite). Which I posted here before.

It's not much to look at either, in the "making-sense" department. I wrote it in the train while on caffeine and some sleep deprivation. Those factors produce strangeness.

quote:
Beyond the shadowy hills there lies
The land of a race with crimson eyes.
Where looming, towering figures rise
(Among the hills, where darkness lies)
And cast about their baleful eyes
Upon a folk that never dies,
A world whose knowledge death defies
And where the deathless silence cries
A sound of rage or joy likewise
But here the silent void defies
All noise, its own unspoken cries
Upon a race that never dies,
Upon a folk that ever lies,
Where truth is but a poor disguise
For a nightmare land whose name defies
Both sanity and its demise
Land of a race with crimson eyes
Land of a race that never dies
Land of a folk that ever lies
Land of a people that death defies
Land of a people whose unheard cries
Echo from spaces where madness lies.

In Leng of the eternal ice
I met that race with crimson eyes
And learnt their lore and heard their cries
And read the silent libraries
That held the ancient knowledge wise,
And there I learnt of her demise
In grief she waited, her piercing cries
To echo from the vaults likewise
And if I strained my ears and eyes
I could perceive where madness lies:
In the land of a race with crimson eyes,
In the land of a folk that never dies
In the land of a people that ever lies
In the land of a race that death defies
Beyond the shadowy hills it lies
Beyond the moonlit stars that rise
Among the hills where darkness lies.


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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Off With Their Heads
Member # 4045
Profile Homepage #9
I wrote this six years ago. It's a sonnet. I think I've posted it before. Most people don't get it when they first read it.

quote:
Shall I compare thee to a heap of dung?
Thou art more pungent than a pile of crap
Though never ‘fore hath hymns to crap been sung
Art not thou like a praiseworthy mishap?
Or shall I lie and call thee beautiful
For thou art like the rose, the sun, the moon
Thy petals are at night apart spread full
And ‘tween thy buds a heav’nly body croons
Perhaps thou mightst be call’d a stimulant
Without thy loving touch and sweet embrace
Man’s wit, his principal part, downward slant
And limp and lifeless doth the ground it face
Thou art a falsely love, a not true friend
Thy form shall be remade ‘til time doth end


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Arancaytar: Every time you ask people to compare TM and Kel, you endanger the poor, fluffy kittens.
Smoo: Get ready to face the walls!
Ephesos: In conclusion, yarr.

Kelandon's Pink and Pretty Page!!: the authorized location for all things by me
The Archive of all released BoE scenarios ever
Posts: 7968 | Registered: Saturday, February 28 2004 08:00
Master
Member # 5977
Profile Homepage #10
People, Nikki's intentions with this thread was not only to show off your poem/story/whatever, but you also had to comment on previously shown works made by fellow members. Until now only i and the green dragon (Riibu?) did that.

--------------------
Play and rate my scenarios:

Where the rivers meet
View my upcoming scenario: The Nephil Search: Escape.

Give us your drek!
Posts: 3029 | Registered: Saturday, June 18 2005 07:00
Warrior
Member # 7223
Profile Homepage #11
Never Run

The man walked. He walked (never running) down the rainy dark street. He knew the bad things were coming for him. He (don't run never run) walked. Run and the bad (very bad) things will get you. Yes they will (yes they will) get you. Just like they got (red everywhere) Papa. They come (yes they do) even now. For you. The bad things. But always remember. Never (run) run.

[ Tuesday, September 19, 2006 05:31: Message edited by: Elijah ]

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Polaris

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.
- H.P. Lovecraft
Posts: 164 | Registered: Wednesday, June 14 2006 07:00
Cartographer
Member # 1851
Profile Homepage #12
Yes, I'm Riibu. I think that requiring commenting on others' works is.. only an ideal. :\ I did suspect some lack of motivation, but it's hardly that bad. Well, we've read all of these poems, obviously, and probably liked them to some degree. But if no one has anything to add, then we can't really ask that either.

Anyway, enough critising! It's negative and we definitely want all kinds of positive thoughts flowing through this thread, affecting people's minds and brains for some creative working... Happy thoughts, everyone! Think happy thoughts!

[ Tuesday, September 19, 2006 09:08: Message edited by: The Green Dragon ]

--------------------
"I'm not crazy!"
"Well, whatever. Maybe you just ate something really questionable, or perhaps someone hit you on the head with something large, blunt and heavy just now. By the way..." Gil nudged Grul pointedly.

Ooh! Homepage - Blog - Geneforge, +2, +3 - My Elfwood Gallery and DevArt page
So many strange ones around. Don't you think?
Posts: 1308 | Registered: Sunday, September 8 2002 07:00
Shaper
Member # 3442
Profile Homepage #13
All the poems here are amazing. I loved yours Marl, which is why I told you to post it in the first place. :P

And Riibu - your short stories...wow. I loved the change in styles in the first one. It actually made me well up. Thank you.

And Kel, I get it. I think. Using the sonnet to this end has been done before, notably by Shakespeare. But still...

Poem of the week goes to Salmon. But only for making profanities an essential part of his work. Huzaar!

And Riibu, happiness is nice - I'll get to work writing something joyful, since I'm actually feeling good. Until then...

White Noise

“Oh blessed be the lonely”
The choir sings, it lies,
“And blessed are the quiet”
It sways and then it sighs.

Silence.

Then the tolling of a bell,
That echoes round the pews,
And the murmuring of parishioners,
Sharing virtuous Christian views.

Past the vigil of the dead
The throng of people fade,
Below budding purple blossom,
Children play within the shade.

And in the back seat of a car,
A child rests his head,
And sings so low, so full of woe:
“Oh blessed be the lonely”


[ Tuesday, September 19, 2006 09:41: Message edited by: Guy Fawkes xx ]

--------------------
And when you want to Live
How do you start?
Where do you go?
Who do you need to know?


*Name by Slarty
Posts: 2864 | Registered: Monday, September 8 2003 07:00
Agent
Member # 2759
Profile Homepage #14
Please somebody, make them stop with the poetry.

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"I can't read this thread with that image. But then, that's not a complaint." -Scorpius

Geneforge 4 stuff. Also, everything I know about Avernum | Avernum 2 | Avernum 3 | Avernum 4
Posts: 1104 | Registered: Monday, March 10 2003 08:00
Electric Sheep One
Member # 3431
Profile #15
These are all quite good. My favorite so far is Elijah's. I haven't written much for years, and I'm not sure where my notes of old poems are. Since there have already been a couple of sonnets, here's one I remember, close enough.

So say of living water where it welled,
From what deep rock. How many hearts are stone?
But some do say of love that they have known
Its secrets manifold and mercy-held.
Then say of heaven's furnace when it burned
Dead wood to ash. Or say, all flesh is dust;
As some do say of love, it's painted lust,
and cannot live for long if unreturned.
And tell me of the whirlwind why it blows
In vicious circuits. Oh, the world goes round;
But if you listen you can hear the sound
Of petals tearing, wind-whipped, from the rose.
Then tell me of the earth how it abides.
Oh say of living water where it hides.

[ Tuesday, September 19, 2006 10:44: Message edited by: Student of Trinity ]

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We're not doing cool. We're doing pretty.
Posts: 3335 | Registered: Thursday, September 4 2003 07:00
Cartographer
Member # 1851
Profile Homepage #16
I shouldn't post so much, it goes straight to my thighs. :\

Err, I mean... I should give others a chance as well! But I did come up with a few avatars I think might be safe enough to upload and show. So, pictures pictures, yay?
I promise I'll stop trying to hog the thread *crosses fingers behind back*. I may be a little overwhelmed by all this interesting content, that's all.

IMAGE(http://gamma.nic.fi/~ribla17/avatarit/orb_ava.gif)
This is one of my very first ones I made and still one of my favorites. The original picture belongs to Jon Wofford, whose site has no proper 'About' page/FAQ. But let that be aside the point.

IMAGE(http://gamma.nic.fi/~ribla17/avatarit/hip_ava.gif)
I can't lie; I like big hips. Especially my own. ^^ The original belongs to Camille Kuo, who also does not have a good FAQ. At least now you know.

IMAGE(http://gamma.nic.fi/~ribla17/avatarit/dragoon_ava.gif)
My ultimately favorite avatar of all time. You probably recognise the original, which is just resized basically. Oh, and the guy from the corner is gone of course. Mmm... Green Dragon... ^^

IMAGE(http://gamma.nic.fi/~ribla17/avatarit/mermaid_ava.gif)
I rather like this one with the nifty lines. Unfortunately I haven't been able to find the owner of the original, so can't quite give credit. Would like to, of course. If you recognise it, tell me.

IMAGE(http://gamma.nic.fi/~ribla17/avatarit/neobluna_ava.gif)
Neopets. One of my pets has that particular petpet. I bought it because I thought it looked very nice. And then at one point I tried actually drawing it (which didn't work) and then making an avatar of it (which did work!).

IMAGE(http://gamma.nic.fi/~ribla17/avatarit/pieces-girl-rose_ava.gif)
I found the original on some random site, so... I wanted to try something new with this, and although I'm not sure I completely succeeded it's still pretty nice.

IMAGE(http://gamma.nic.fi/~ribla17/avatarit/soybean-peopletofu_ava.png)
Inspired by Sluggy Freelance, where Torg makes a comment about soybeans thinking tofu is made out of people.. Now, if only I could find that particular strip, it was funny. Amused me enough to make this. This is a second version actually, tried to improve it to convey some kind of panic.

IMAGE(http://gamma.nic.fi/~ribla17/avatarit/peridot_icon.gif)
And last but not least, my current DeviantArt user icon/avatar. Google picture search for peridot (gorgeous color! Absolutely gorgeous!) and it's the second one. I love green perhaps a bit too passionately sometimes. Is pretty though, yes?

--------------------
"I'm not crazy!"
"Well, whatever. Maybe you just ate something really questionable, or perhaps someone hit you on the head with something large, blunt and heavy just now. By the way..." Gil nudged Grul pointedly.

Ooh! Homepage - Blog - Geneforge, +2, +3 - My Elfwood Gallery and DevArt page
So many strange ones around. Don't you think?
Posts: 1308 | Registered: Sunday, September 8 2002 07:00
Shaper
Member # 22
Profile #17
quote:
Originally written by Thralni:

<wah wah wah>
Just thought I'd take advantage of the briefest of returns: that's utter rubbish. Sometimes these things just need to be said.

[ Tuesday, September 19, 2006 10:56: Message edited by: Morgan ]
Posts: 2862 | Registered: Tuesday, October 2 2001 07:00
Master
Member # 5977
Profile Homepage #18
quote:
Originally written by Morgan:

quote:
Originally written by Thralni:

People, Nikki's intentions with this thread was not only to show off your poem/story/whatever, but you also had to comment on previously shown works made by fellow members. Until now only i and the green dragon (Riibu?) did that.
< wah wah wah >



--------------------
Play and rate my scenarios:

Where the rivers meet
View my upcoming scenario: The Nephil Search: Escape.

Give us your drek!
Posts: 3029 | Registered: Saturday, June 18 2005 07:00
Agent
Member # 5814
Profile #19
Normally, I'd jump at the chance to be a jackass. But this thread is actually neat and someone cares about whether it gets locked, so people should avoid ruining it.

--------------------
quote:
Originally written by Kelandon
Well, I'm at least pretty

Posts: 1115 | Registered: Sunday, May 15 2005 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 6388
Profile #20
I gave up on my dreams long ago and am now a lazy journalist, but that's not to say I can't offer commentary.

Then again, I feel nowhere near mean enough to give individual comments on any kind of scale, so generic ones applying to most of the work here:

One: Rhyming poetry sucks. I can't emphasize this enough; every bit of rhyming verse produced by amateurs ranges from shameful to mediocre, and would be improved dramatically by abandoning its rhyme scheme. If you can't resist the temptation to rhyme, do not use masculine rhyme - literally every possible combination thereof has already been produced and you cannot help but wind up with trite garbage. (Masculine rhyme is a single syllable, e.g. 'eyes / dies', feminine multiple-syllabled, e.g. 'nantucket / bucket') Learn to produce beauty without linguistic shortcuts or you'll be doomed to write moon-june-spoon crap your entire life.

Two: Poems about women or any kind of elves suck. Write about what you know, not how cool it would be to lay the chubby girl who laughs at your Monty Python references after band practice or prance about a maypole with Legolas. This can be generalized to men, dragons, or dwarfs (for either subset). If it's exotic to you, it's lame to almost everyone else.

Three: Poems about your woman especially suck. The only thing poems in 2 have going for them is a sense of wistfulness.

Four: Wherever possible, write as if speaking. This doesn't mean you necessarily have to be conversational, but your vocabulary should form a coherent picture. This is, for instance, all Aran's 'poem' really has going for it; he sounds like (depending on how charitable we wish to be) an intoning scholar or an awestruck SCA enthusiast the entire time.

Five: For the love of God, if it sounds like anything else beat it senseless. Aran's work scans like an effort at Lovecraft; SoT's scans like Eliot with a head injury. Both of you need to beat the living hell out of what you write and make it into something vaguely unique and distinctive. Kelandon's reads like Shakespeare - a few lines are Shakespeare but for the old academiac trick of disguising premature decrepitude with efforts as if to swear - but I suppose the poor dear couldn't help that; that he chose to write it in sonnet form in the first place says enough about what he is and isn't capable of.

Which brings me to my final point in my rambling:

Six: Prosody is not an accomplishment. Workhorse poetry - sonnets and the like - by amateurs are some of the worst **** you will ever read. There's a reason for this: they consistently treat meeting the format of the poem as some kind of achievement above and beyond any other. The first purpose of a poem should be expression - form exists to serve art, not the other way around; form without art is masturbation.

Ironically, the only mostly non-violator here would be Kelandon: his sonnet has a purpose besides being a sonnet and actually meets it fairly well. I loathe it due to a deep-seated and unhealthy grudge against the man and everything he says or does, but still feel it worthy of individual critique. So here goes:

Once more, my comfort with your otherwise fine work is marred by your native terror of innovation. Would you, in any other context, address someone to lovingly touch and sweetly embrace your "wit" as 'thee'? (And meter is no excuse - 'your' reads the same as 'thy'.) I mean, I could be wrong - you could be one of those types who shout passages from Macbeth while making love, in which case I could hardly expect you to help something like this - but would it kill you to do anything non-derivative? You can only rewrite the classics so many times before they get old.

PS: I'm not posting anything of mine; nothing I care to see again would be CoC-appropriate.

[ Tuesday, September 19, 2006 13:31: Message edited by: The Worst Man Ever ]
Posts: 794 | Registered: Tuesday, October 11 2005 07:00
Post Navel Trauma ^_^
Member # 67
Profile Homepage #21
So, Farewell then
Egos of posters

Alec actually
Read them
But for many others

Too long
Didn't read

--Khoth (17 1/2)

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Barcoorah: I even did it to a big dorset ram.

desperance.net - Don't follow this link
Posts: 1798 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Nuke and Pave
Member # 24
Profile Homepage #22
Why do you think that Alec read
Everything posted on this thread?
This kind of "critical response"
Is very easy to pronounce.
Just use scripted auto-reply
"This stupid thread deserves to die."

Anyway, this reaches thread's goal,
Increasing our posting toll.
Since heated arguments are blood
Of posted messages great flood.

As for the poems on this thread,
I am not in mood to have read
The ones that talk of sadness, pain,
Or of love's sudden loss or gain.

To Infernal I'd say oookay...
That was quite weird, anyway...
Salmon's amusing little joke
Reminds me of things from elementary school, inserting which would break the flow.

Aran's piece also strangeness-filled
Seems full of anguish unconcealed.
And Khoth, your great poetic wit,
Should on great monuments be writ.

I think this is long enough post.
Enough time on it had been lost.
If you don't like it, that's too bad
It will not make me really sad.
I'm just amused by random rhymes,
And like this silliness sometimes.
:)

[ Tuesday, September 19, 2006 15:03: Message edited by: Zeviz ]

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Be careful with a word, as you would with a sword,
For it too has the power to kill.
However well placed word, unlike a well placed sword,
Can also have the power to heal.
Posts: 2649 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
Agent
Member # 4574
Profile #23
Golden dipped and
Orange tasting
Like a giant lollipop
Demonic
Extremly kind
Non existant
King of Somewhere
Intensly angry
Now where is Somewhere Goodbye

A prince of Spiderweb
Lover of knowledge
On the way to 15,000 posts
Ready to post
A ever changing moniker
Extremly militant
Likely a Crystal Soul

[ Tuesday, September 19, 2006 15:30: Message edited by: Emperorking ]

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All praise the greatest mod of all time! Long live Master Aran!
Posts: 1186 | Registered: Friday, June 18 2004 07:00
Off With Their Heads
Member # 4045
Profile Homepage #24
Alec: I'm surprised that you recognized that I employed the form of the sonnet for a purpose but failed to recognize that I employed mock-archaic language for the same purpose. If your complaint is that you have some sort of visceral revulsion to anything even remotely old, including the second-person singular, then you're just being silly, because that's there for a purpose that you clearly recognize as legitimate in another context.

If your complaint is that it's an anti-sonnet in pretty much the same way as every other anti-sonnet ever written (including one or two of Shakespeare's own), well, that's probably true, but the poem exists mostly to get a cheap laugh, and it's usually successful at least in that.

[ Tuesday, September 19, 2006 15:41: Message edited by: Kelandon ]

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Arancaytar: Every time you ask people to compare TM and Kel, you endanger the poor, fluffy kittens.
Smoo: Get ready to face the walls!
Ephesos: In conclusion, yarr.

Kelandon's Pink and Pretty Page!!: the authorized location for all things by me
The Archive of all released BoE scenarios ever
Posts: 7968 | Registered: Saturday, February 28 2004 08:00

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