Why can't we just be happy?

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AuthorTopic: Why can't we just be happy?
Agent
Member # 1934
Profile Homepage #25
My disillusionment with society came from shen I realized that I hated everyone from elementary school. 95% of the people there were scum. So I decided that I didn't want to be like them.

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Posts: 1169 | Registered: Monday, September 23 2002 07:00
Councilor
Member # 6600
Profile Homepage #26
Originally by Salmon:

quote:
Just look at the kids you hung with in 3rd grade, and see how close or distant you are in 11th.
That's not a fair comparison, since in eight years you expect some genuine changes in people. Of course you're not going to hung out with the same people, or even be particularly close to a lot of them. Interests change. You end up with different kids in each new class. Kids move in and out.

Dikiyoba.

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Episode 4: Spiderweb ReloadedEpisode 5: Spiderweb Resistance
Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00
? Man, ? Amazing
Member # 5755
Profile #27
None of my comparisons are fair. That's why you find me so frustrating. :P

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Synergy, et al - "I don't get it."

Argon - "I'm at a loss for words..."
Posts: 4114 | Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 7538
Profile Homepage #28
quote:
Originally written by Arancaytar:

I would like to count myself as an individualist, but the urge to fit in is strong in me as well.
This is true. I think the process of maturing is lifelong. No one is ever completely mature. I guess my thinking was that many people reach a certain level of maturity before others. That is to say, for the "more mature" people, it's not so much a question of abandoning themselves in favor of the crowd. The desire to fit in is still there, but it's not ruling them.

I'm not saying it's the only reason for angry and spiteful people (if only anything were that simple). But I do believe that's a big part of it for a lot of us, and I know it's part of it for me. It sucks being fake and wearing a mask all the time, and so anyone who feels like they have to is bound to always have that inner conflict.

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Do not provoke the turtles.
They do not like being provoked.

-Lenar

Remember, kids: every time you 'lol', God kills a kitten.

My website: Nemesis' Refuge (Last Update: 3/7/08)
Posts: 743 | Registered: Friday, September 29 2006 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 6785
Profile #29
"Life is hard and then you die." - J. Dempsey on Makepeace and Dempsey.
Posts: 4643 | Registered: Friday, February 10 2006 08:00
BANNED
Member # 13806
Profile #30
You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you find you get what you need. ;)
Posts: 134 | Registered: Sunday, February 3 2008 08:00
Electric Sheep One
Member # 3431
Profile #31
I never really wanted to fit in with the crowd, but that was what everyone else seemed to want, so ...

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Listen carefully because some of your options may have changed.
Posts: 3335 | Registered: Thursday, September 4 2003 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #32
quote:
You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you find you get what you need.
Words to live by...
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
BANNED
Member # 13806
Profile #33
Words to live by, unless you're destitute, starved, dying, in chronic pain, abused, imprisoned or tortured. So, Miss Nicothodes, unless those things are happening to you, you probably do not have anything to worry about. Good news, right? :) That others are unhappy is solved by taking up responsibility, not assigning it. Or rather, if you want to assign responsibility, what binds others to accept it? So ask the questions: What can you do? Why should other people do what you want?
Posts: 134 | Registered: Sunday, February 3 2008 08:00
? Man, ? Amazing
Member # 5755
Profile #34
It is sometimes ok to laugh at others in order to feel better about your own situation.

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Synergy, et al - "I don't get it."

Argon - "I'm at a loss for words..."
Posts: 4114 | Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Master
Member # 5977
Profile Homepage #35
quote:
Originally written by Diprosopus:

What can you do? Why should other people do what you want?
Precisely.

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Posts: 3029 | Registered: Saturday, June 18 2005 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 7538
Profile Homepage #36
quote:
Originally written by Jumpin' Salmon:

It is sometimes ok to laugh at others in order to feel better about your own situation.
Huh… well that explains a lot of my angst. Thank you for that, Salmon. :D

You've just reminded me of something I found at George R.R. Martin's website:

(Image has been removed because it was making people sad.)

[ Sunday, March 30, 2008 20:31: Message edited by: Nemesis. ]

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Do not provoke the turtles.
They do not like being provoked.

-Lenar

Remember, kids: every time you 'lol', God kills a kitten.

My website: Nemesis' Refuge (Last Update: 3/7/08)
Posts: 743 | Registered: Friday, September 29 2006 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 4153
Profile Homepage #37
Nem, that image has always been disturbing, and it still is.

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Gamble with Gaea, and she eats your dice.
Posts: 4130 | Registered: Friday, March 26 2004 08:00
Councilor
Member # 6600
Profile Homepage #38
That image is the reason we can't all be happy. :P

Dikiyoba.

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Episode 4: Spiderweb ReloadedEpisode 5: Spiderweb Resistance
Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00
Apprentice
Member # 12221
Profile #39
quote:
Originally written by Andraste:

My disillusionment with society came from shen I realized that I hated everyone from elementary school. 95% of the people there were scum. So I decided that I didn't want to be like them.
Hmm. Same here, except that I feel the same way through elementary, and middle school as well. It took me until 9th grade until I had a class of people who didn't appear that way to me. My point being, one does not need to be in "the group" all the time in order to find contentment in the parts society they can identify with.
Posts: 12 | Registered: Thursday, November 29 2007 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #40
That image gives me nightmares. :(

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Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 7538
Profile Homepage #41
Ops. Sorry I ruined everyone's day. :P

Here's something nicer, and hopefully less disturbing:
IMAGE(http://www.discoverlife.org/IM/I_JP/0005/320/Dichelostemma_capitatum,_flowers,I_JP523.jpg)

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Do not provoke the turtles.
They do not like being provoked.

-Lenar

Remember, kids: every time you 'lol', God kills a kitten.

My website: Nemesis' Refuge (Last Update: 3/7/08)
Posts: 743 | Registered: Friday, September 29 2006 07:00
Infiltrator
Member # 7488
Profile #42
quote:
Originally written by Zeviz:

quote:
the financial world seems to be panicking because of what happened in America,
which happens every 5-10 years, as part of a normal business cycle.

From what I've seen, I think It's sort of tied to presidential elections. People are usually unsure of the outcome, and the stock market ends up reflecting it. On average, for every four consecutive years, the stock market has one bad year and three good ones.
quote:
Originally written by Jumpin' Salmon:

Just look at the kids you hung with in 3rd grade, and see how close or distant you are in 11th.
How true it is. Out of everyone I knew in school, regardless of grade level, there's only one I've kept in touch with, and I've known him since 1st grade.

[ Monday, March 31, 2008 05:58: Message edited by: The Mystic ]

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Either I'm crazy, or everybody else is nuts. And I know I'm not crazy because the little man who lives on my shoulder told me so.
If people don't think there's something wrong with you, there's something wrong with you.
Oh well. Another day, another dementia.
Posts: 558 | Registered: Friday, September 15 2006 07:00
Infiltrator
Member # 4248
Profile #43
One thing I've noticed: a human being *can* be happy even when lying in **** face down. It's all about attitude and knowledge you can contrast your experiences with. Many people are unhappy simply because they've never been worse, and thus can't appreciate whatever they happen to have now. It also works the other way around: some people can be happy with what they have because they don't know anything better. Sometimes, ignorance really is a bliss.

I, myself, am mostly content. I feel a bit lonely and detached from my own age group, but I have lots to do to keep my days busy, food to eat, a place to sleep in and chances to make a difference in this world. With the help of self-irony and twisted sense of humor, I can appreciate even the darkest shades of the universe. Oh, and I also have lots of good music to listen to. Up the irons!

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Life is a neverending carneval where everyone has multiple costumes. I just hope mine are pleasing to the eye.
Posts: 617 | Registered: Tuesday, April 13 2004 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 7538
Profile Homepage #44
quote:
Originally written by Frozen Feet:

One thing I've noticed: a human being *can* be happy even when lying in **** face down. It's all about attitude and knowledge you can contrast your experiences with. Many people are unhappy simply because they've never been worse, and thus can't appreciate whatever they happen to have now.
That's a good point. People who are going through a relatively rough time in their lives are naturally going to be more angry or stressed than someone who's at a high point. But it's all a matter of perspective. The person at their "high point" might still not be as well off as the person who's going through their "rough times".

That's actually a very good reason to do something like community service, where you might feed the homeless for a day, or maybe a missions trip to a less wealthy country. It'd really fix the perspective of how decent we actually have it in our own situations.

Always remember: it could be worse. ;)

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Do not provoke the turtles.
They do not like being provoked.

-Lenar

Remember, kids: every time you 'lol', God kills a kitten.

My website: Nemesis' Refuge (Last Update: 3/7/08)
Posts: 743 | Registered: Friday, September 29 2006 07:00
Infiltrator
Member # 4248
Profile #45
Just for notes: I trashed right back light of my company's car. I have a feeling I'll hear about it for the rest of my life...

...oh, and if reading this made you feel happier, shame on you!

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Life is a neverending carneval where everyone has multiple costumes. I just hope mine are pleasing to the eye.
Posts: 617 | Registered: Tuesday, April 13 2004 07:00
BANNED
Member # 13806
Profile #46
Dear Mr. Feet, I would simply suggest that it be clear that your comments only apply to those who are not subject to true tragedy, which truly does exist. And while depression among those not subject to tragedy is sad, "change your attitude" or "others have it worse" without any qualifiers are generally unhelpful because the former asks the impossible out of people and depression is based off of a sincerely-held, committed belief that one's situation actually is bad.

[ Tuesday, April 01, 2008 15:51: Message edited by: Diprosopus ]
Posts: 134 | Registered: Sunday, February 3 2008 08:00
Infiltrator
Member # 4826
Profile #47
quote:
Originally written by Diprosopus:

Dear Mr. Feet, I would simply suggest that it be clear that your comments only apply to those who are not subject to true tragedy, which truly does exist. And while depression among those not subject to tragedy is sad, "change your attitude" or "others have it worse" without any qualifiers are generally unhelpful because the former asks the impossible out of people and depression is based off of a sincerely-held, committed belief that one's situation actually is bad.
I don't think it's impossible to change your attitude, nor to cause someone else to do so. The problem is that while depressed people may have the ability to make light of their lives, they may not take brief, equivocal advice like that when they are probably already skeptical about their situation and about other people.

And if depression, as you say, stems from an idea that you have it bad, why does that make it unhelpful to put life in perspective for a depressed person? With time, couldn't this help them count their blessings? When I feel upset about an internal problem or a difficult change, I always try to think that someone else is dying or starving or something. Not that that makes me happy, but I can put my self-pity aside.

This is all based on observations of a friend I have who was depressed, almost suicidally, a few years ago. He's doing great now.

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"Of course, not all technology is good. Some is exactly the opposite (bad)." — Dave Barry
Posts: 458 | Registered: Friday, August 6 2004 07:00
By Committee
Member # 4233
Profile #48
I think the character "Mr. Linderman" in the series "Heroes" said it best: "You can either have a life of happiness or a life of meaning, but you can't have both." I think a lot of us believe (hopefully rightly) that the life of meaning is the right choice. Unfortunately, there are costs. A search for meaning necessitates exploration and learning. As you learn more, you come to appreciate how many risks are out there, and with risk comes anxiety and unhappiness. No one likes being anxious.

[ Tuesday, April 01, 2008 16:45: Message edited by: Drew ]
Posts: 2242 | Registered: Saturday, April 10 2004 07:00
Infiltrator
Member # 4826
Profile #49
Of course, there are people who take risk and hardship in stride. They may be the ones who do crazy stunts (like this) because they've accepted that risks exist. I think most of those "Xtreme sport"-type people are very content with life and mentally sound.

[ Tuesday, April 01, 2008 17:54: Message edited by: We Didn't Shard of Fire ]

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"Of course, not all technology is good. Some is exactly the opposite (bad)." — Dave Barry
Posts: 458 | Registered: Friday, August 6 2004 07:00

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