[Insert Dumb Joke Here]
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Agent
Member # 3364
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written Wednesday, February 28 2007 06:24
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Q: How many Cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. It turned itself in. -------------------- "Even the worst Terror from Hell can be transformed to a testimony from Heaven!" - Rev. David Wood 6\23\05 "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." - John Wesley Posts: 1001 | Registered: Tuesday, August 19 2003 07:00 |
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Lifecrafter
Member # 7331
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written Wednesday, February 28 2007 13:26
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Ooohhhh...That is BAD. -------------------- You Shall Die Laughing: http://www.worfthecat.ermarian.net/converted The Roost: www.roost01.proboards104.com. Birds of a feather flock together. Posts: 794 | Registered: Thursday, July 27 2006 07:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 6292
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written Wednesday, February 28 2007 14:54
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What might be worse was that first I read it as, "It turned itself on." That could be worked into an equally inane joke, I'm sure. Like, I dunno... Did you hear about the new auto-erotic lightbulb? It turns itself on. :P And while we're at it... Did you hear about the new doctor doll? It operates on batteries. -S- -------------------- A4 Item Locations A4 Singleton G4 Items List G4 Forging List The Insidious Infiltrator Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00 |
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Canned
Member # 8014
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written Wednesday, February 28 2007 18:00
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Two kids walk into a bar. Inside is a sign saying "All 40 year olds get to get drunk" One of the kids keeps saying "ty" all the time. The bar tender looks up "What can I get you" 1st kid say "sherry punch" the other says nothing. The bar tender, not realizing that Sherry Punch is a brand for kids (not in the real world), says "You are too young" The first kid looks up and says "But I am 4" "ty", says the other kid in a similar voice. The bartender, being drunk, hand them all real sherry punch, not the brand. The kids, all high, go home and say "I had Sherry (blocked)" "ty" The mom, startled goes, "I am part of a punch line!" Edit -fixed the typo [ Wednesday, February 28, 2007 18:02: Message edited by: Infernal Flamming Muffin ] -------------------- I can transform into almost anything, though not sanity. Muffins n' Hell. Note that revisions of the first part is down the list. Posts: 1799 | Registered: Sunday, February 4 2007 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 3040
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written Wednesday, February 28 2007 18:07
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I think a lot more than the typo needs to be fixed... -------------------- 5.0.1.0.0.0.0.1.0... Posts: 508 | Registered: Thursday, May 29 2003 07:00 |
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Canned
Member # 8014
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written Wednesday, February 28 2007 18:11
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I have never seen you before, wz. as And of course things need to be fixed, that was off the top of my brain. -------------------- I can transform into almost anything, though not sanity. Muffins n' Hell. Note that revisions of the first part is down the list. Posts: 1799 | Registered: Sunday, February 4 2007 08:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 6292
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written Wednesday, February 28 2007 19:05
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We regret to announce that our Quality Control department is now on an extended and involuntary leave of absence in lovely, brisk Siberia. We apologize for any undue suffering in the meantime. We now return you to your regularly scheduled deprogramming. -S-  [ Wednesday, February 28, 2007 19:26: Message edited by: Synergy ] -------------------- A4 Item Locations A4 Singleton G4 Items List G4 Forging List The Insidious Infiltrator Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 6785
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written Wednesday, February 28 2007 19:41
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How do yo keep a Spiderwebber in suspense? Posts: 4643 | Registered: Friday, February 10 2006 08:00 |
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Apprentice
Member # 7992
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written Thursday, March 1 2007 02:00
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the pope is driving around scotland in his 4-by-4 popemobile and he comes up to the shore. he looks out to sea and sees two people in scotland rugby shirts on a speedboat and a man in an england rugby shirt being savaged by a shark. the two scotsmen drive over to the englishman, pull him out of the water, stun the shark and put it in the back of the boat, before setting out to shore. the pope decides to drive along the coastline to the next town. sure enough the scotsmen atre there on the dock, dragging the bleeding englishman along between them, the pope goes up to them and speaks: "i have heared that there is rivalry between your two nations but now i have seen this is not so, consider yourselves both blessed" and walks away the first scotsman asks "who the hell was that?" the englishman replies from the ground "The pope, the chosen messanger of god our father on this earth." then nthe other scotsman goes "well, if he nows so bloody much about shark baiting, he could have at least told us if we need another englishman" -------------------- Slate Beauty I Look Down From Castle of the Winds Posts: 19 | Registered: Thursday, February 1 2007 08:00 |
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Off With Their Heads
Member # 4045
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written Thursday, March 1 2007 07:21
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quote:It is far stranger when they are said by your own mother. -------------------- Arancaytar: Every time you ask people to compare TM and Kel, you endanger the poor, fluffy kittens. Smoo: Get ready to face the walls! Ephesos: In conclusion, yarr. Kelandon's Pink and Pretty Page!!: the authorized location for all things by me The Archive of all released BoE scenarios ever Posts: 7968 | Registered: Saturday, February 28 2004 08:00 |
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Too Sexy for my Title
Member # 5654
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written Thursday, March 1 2007 09:23
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quote:Tell me about it. My brother and I have tried to explain our mother that calling him "You son of a bitch" might not be the brightest way to insult him :rolleyes: [ Thursday, March 01, 2007 09:27: Message edited by: Kitana ] Posts: 1035 | Registered: Friday, April 1 2005 08:00 |
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Agent
Member # 8030
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written Thursday, March 1 2007 16:15
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There is an American, a Russian, and a blonde all arguing about whose background is better. The Russian says, "We were to the first to space" The American says, "We were the first to the moon." The blonde says, "We're going to be the first to the sun. Don't worry, we're not stupid, we'll go at night." -------------------- WWJD? Posts: 1384 | Registered: Tuesday, February 6 2007 08:00 |
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Guardian
Member # 6670
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written Thursday, March 1 2007 18:03
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Oddly enough, my sister threw a 'your mom' at me a couple hours ago. -------------------- The fates have given mankind a patient soul. - Homer Give me some piece of mind or I'll mop the floor with you! - Homer Simpson Posts: 1509 | Registered: Tuesday, January 10 2006 08:00 |
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Agent
Member # 3364
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written Friday, March 2 2007 06:30
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Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. Avoidable \uh-avoy'-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do. Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with. Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets. Eclipse \i-klips'\: What an English barber does for a living. Eyedropper \i'-drop-ur\: A clumsy ophthalmologist. Heroes \hee'-rhos\: What a guy in a boat does. Left Bank \left' bangk'\: What the robber did after his bag was full of loot. Misty \miss'-tee\: How golfers create divots. Paradox \par'-of-docks\: Two physicians. Parasites \par'-uh-sites\: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Pharmacist \farm'-uh-sist\: A helper on the farm. Polarize \po'-lur-ize\: What penguins see with. Primate \pri'-mate\: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV. Relief \ree-leaf'\: What trees do in the spring. Rubberneck \rub'-er-nek\: What you do to relax your wife. Seamstress \seem'-stress\: Describes 250 pounds in a size six. Selfish \sel'-fish\: What the owner of a seafood store does. Subdued \sub-dood'\: Like, a guy, like, who works on one of those, like, submarines, man. Sudafed \soo'-da-fed\: Bringing litigation against a government official. -------------------- "Even the worst Terror from Hell can be transformed to a testimony from Heaven!" - Rev. David Wood 6\23\05 "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." - John Wesley Posts: 1001 | Registered: Tuesday, August 19 2003 07:00 |
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Warrior
Member # 7638
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written Friday, March 2 2007 13:38
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How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 100, one to hold the lightbulb still, 99 to pick up the building and turn it. -------------------- "640K ought to be enough for anybody." -- Bill Gates, 1981 "But what ... is it good for?" --Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip. Posts: 152 | Registered: Monday, November 6 2006 08:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 6292
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written Friday, March 2 2007 16:44
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Those were painfully bad, Jewels. Naturally, I will be inflicting a few of those on choice victims in the future myself. -S- -------------------- A4 Item Locations A4 Singleton G4 Items List G4 Forging List The Insidious Infiltrator Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00 |
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Lifecrafter
Member # 7538
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written Sunday, March 4 2007 00:32
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How many rudeboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Four. One to drop it and three to yell, "Pick it up!" You did say "dumb joke"… -------------------- Do not provoke the turtles. They do not like being provoked. -Lenar My website: Nemesis' Refuge Posts: 743 | Registered: Friday, September 29 2006 07:00 |
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Apprentice
Member # 8229
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written Sunday, March 4 2007 07:24
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- You plan to marry her… why? Why in the world, man?? Tell me, what does she have so special? What makes her so appealing to you, so unique, give me just a single point! - She doesn’t watch TV. - Marry her! - What makes a “small” book? - Below five toilet-hours. A Funeral “Often, He takes the best of us to Him… ..but this time He missed.” - Haven't slept well tonight. - Why? - Kept turning. - Why? - Failed into a concrete mixer. [ Sunday, March 04, 2007 10:37: Message edited by: Acidic Helixbolt ] -------------------- "At ease, guys, it's just some nonsence green wingbolt..." - Guardian Kantor, Shaper infiltrator forces, last words. Posts: 36 | Registered: Sunday, March 4 2007 08:00 |
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Agent
Member # 8030
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written Sunday, March 4 2007 15:08
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Asked by Randomizer quote:I don't know. How do you? -------------------- WWJD? Posts: 1384 | Registered: Tuesday, February 6 2007 08:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 6292
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written Sunday, March 4 2007 15:30
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He'll tell you next week. -S- -------------------- A4 Item Locations A4 Singleton G4 Items List G4 Forging List The Insidious Infiltrator Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00 |
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Apprentice
Member # 7863
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written Sunday, March 4 2007 15:47
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Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman? :confused: A: "(sniff, sniff) Do you smell carrots?" :D -------------------- *sees rebel* SHING! SWISH! Posts: 4 | Registered: Friday, January 5 2007 08:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 6785
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written Sunday, March 4 2007 21:30
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quote:Worked didn't it? Posts: 4643 | Registered: Friday, February 10 2006 08:00 |
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Agent
Member # 3364
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written Monday, March 5 2007 06:09
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How to keep Jewels busy: Painted on a rock: "Please turn me over." *turns rock over* Painted on the other side: "Please turn me over." *turns rock over again* ... TEN MINUTES LATER ... *turns rock over again* -------------------- "Even the worst Terror from Hell can be transformed to a testimony from Heaven!" - Rev. David Wood 6\23\05 "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." - John Wesley Posts: 1001 | Registered: Tuesday, August 19 2003 07:00 |
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Lifecrafter
Member # 7331
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written Monday, March 5 2007 13:44
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Wow. I've had enough bad jokes for one day. I like the rock one, though. -------------------- You Shall Die Laughing: http://www.worfthecat.ermarian.net/converted The Roost: www.roost01.proboards104.com. Birds of a feather flock together. Posts: 794 | Registered: Thursday, July 27 2006 07:00 |
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Lifecrafter
Member # 7538
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written Monday, March 5 2007 14:38
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http://www.geocities.com/drumzrcool500/idiotcard.html Idiots beware. -------------------- Do not provoke the turtles. They do not like being provoked. -Lenar My website: Nemesis' Refuge Posts: 743 | Registered: Friday, September 29 2006 07:00 |