[Insert Dumb Joke Here]

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AuthorTopic: [Insert Dumb Joke Here]
Apprentice
Member # 8077
Profile #50
(the worst joke of them all)

Yo Momas soooo fat shes fat!
Posts: 1 | Registered: Tuesday, February 13 2007 08:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 7331
Profile Homepage #51
That's not a joke. It's a lame, gimpy, badly written insult.

I really, truly, loathe the "your mother" comeback which seems to be so popular right now.

It shows a serious lack of creativity.

[ Tuesday, February 13, 2007 13:39: Message edited by: Sarasaphilia ]

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Posts: 794 | Registered: Thursday, July 27 2006 07:00
Agent
Member # 5814
Profile #52
quote:
Originally written by Gatta:

(the worst joke of them all)

Yo Momas soooo fat shes fat!

Yo momma so stupid, she thinks "yo momma" jokes are funny.

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quote:
Originally written by Kelandon
Well, I'm at least pretty

Posts: 1115 | Registered: Sunday, May 15 2005 07:00
Apprentice
Member # 7916
Profile #53
Now that's creative.

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"So, what do you do for a living?"
"I, uh, fix things."
Posts: 5 | Registered: Friday, January 19 2007 08:00
Infiltrator
Member # 4256
Profile #54
Can't resist.

Yo momma so skinny, that even TM can't find her.
Probably a better 'joke' involving TM and 'yo momma' could be created, but its what came to mind.

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"Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are false'."
Posts: 564 | Registered: Wednesday, April 14 2004 07:00
Shaper
Member # 6292
Profile #55
I thought of several rather funny things to say just now. Consider it merciful on my part that I decided to resist the impulse.

-S-

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Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #56
My mom can beat up your mom.

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Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Infiltrator
Member # 5410
Profile #57
Where's TM when you need him?

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"Dikiyoba ... is demon ... drives people mad and ... do all sorts of strange things."

"You Spiderwebbians are mad, mad, mad as March hares."
Posts: 687 | Registered: Wednesday, January 19 2005 08:00
Canned
Member # 8014
Profile #58
(insert name here) is so dumb that (he/she) got locked in the grocery store and starved.
For entertainment perposes only!$_$

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I can transform into almost anything, though not sanity.
Muffins n' Hell. Note that revisions of the first part is down the list.
Posts: 1799 | Registered: Sunday, February 4 2007 08:00
Shaper
Member # 7472
Profile Homepage #59
quote:
Originally written by Sarasaphilia:

That's not a joke. It's a lame, gimpy, badly written insult.

I really, truly, loathe the "your mother" comeback which seems to be so popular right now.

It shows a serious lack of creativity.

Agreed. Being on the receiving end of it once, I know how stupid and juvenile it is. If you want to insult me, than insult me. Not my mother/father/some other relative.

quote:
Originally written by Macrsp:

Yo momma so skinny, that even TM can't find her.
If only... :P

quote:
Originally written by Fatman:

Where's TM when you need him?
Over at Shadow Vale, talking about... suffice it to say something very unpleasant that would most certainly break the CoC here.

[ Wednesday, February 14, 2007 19:24: Message edited by: Nioca ]

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I tried to think of something witty to put here.

Needless to say, I failed.
Posts: 2686 | Registered: Friday, September 8 2006 07:00
Councilor
Member # 6600
Profile Homepage #60
Originally by Nioca:

quote:
Agreed. Being on the receiving end of it once, I know how stupid and juvenile it is. If you want to insult me, than insult me. Not my mother/father/some other relative.
It's pretty darn funny when "Your mom!" insults come from a full-blooded sibling, though. :P

Dikiyoba.
Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00
Shaper
Member # 7472
Profile Homepage #61
I don't have a full-blooded sibling. I can see the humor in such a situation, though.

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I tried to think of something witty to put here.

Needless to say, I failed.
Posts: 2686 | Registered: Friday, September 8 2006 07:00
Shaper
Member # 6292
Profile #62
Who can tell me what the following represents?

0
BA
MA
PhD

-S-

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Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00
Infiltrator
Member # 5410
Profile #63
Degrees of separation

Did you here about the zombie strike? The zombie union boss sought direction from the zombies, as in "what do we want?" to which they replied "Brains"

"And when do we want them?" to which then then replied "Brains"

[ Friday, February 23, 2007 06:32: Message edited by: moonear ]

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"Dikiyoba ... is demon ... drives people mad and ... do all sorts of strange things."

"You Spiderwebbians are mad, mad, mad as March hares."
Posts: 687 | Registered: Wednesday, January 19 2005 08:00
Canned
Member # 8014
Profile #64
In the beginning, there was nothing.
Then God said "let there be light" and there was light.
There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot beter.

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I can transform into almost anything, though not sanity.
Muffins n' Hell. Note that revisions of the first part is down the list.
Posts: 1799 | Registered: Sunday, February 4 2007 08:00
Shaper
Member # 6292
Profile #65
quote:
Originally written by Synergy:

Who can tell me what the following represents?

0
BA
MA
PhD

Good guess, moonear. The insultingly-stupid-but-possibly-good-for-one-involuntary-chuckle answer is, of course:

Three degrees below zero.

: P

-S-

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Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00
Canned
Member # 8014
Profile #66
quote:
From two years ago
If con is the opposite of pro, then is congress the opposite of progress?
Luckily, we have more hope this year thanks to the Democrats.

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I can transform into almost anything, though not sanity.
Muffins n' Hell. Note that revisions of the first part is down the list.
Posts: 1799 | Registered: Sunday, February 4 2007 08:00
Shock Trooper
Member # 5545
Profile Homepage #67
Although I believe that was the standard of the Libertarian Party for a while, I still rather like the play on words. It is unfortunate, however, that it hinges on a cooincidence in Latin vs. Greek roots (ie con meaning against or con meaning with). All the same, quite clever...

Edit: Please refer below for the actual reason that this pun takes place. It was my assumption that seperate languages caused the confusion, though I had encountered the complete Latin roots of both before now. Perhaps if my school actually offered Latin... Until then, I will refrain from making any commentary regarding ancient languages.

[ Tuesday, February 27, 2007 06:45: Message edited by: Actaeon ]

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Plaudite, amici, comedia finita est.
Posts: 344 | Registered: Friday, February 25 2005 08:00
Off With Their Heads
Member # 4045
Profile Homepage #68
quote:
Originally written by Actaeon:

It is unfortunate, however, that it hinges on a cooincidence in Latin vs. Greek roots (ie con meaning against or con meaning with).
Not precisely Latin vs. Greek, since they're both Latin. It has to do with a coincidence that contra ("against") is frequently abbreviated con, and cum ("with") often assimilates to con in compounds.

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Arancaytar: Every time you ask people to compare TM and Kel, you endanger the poor, fluffy kittens.
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Kelandon's Pink and Pretty Page!!: the authorized location for all things by me
The Archive of all released BoE scenarios ever
Posts: 7968 | Registered: Saturday, February 28 2004 08:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 7331
Profile Homepage #69
quote:
Originally written by Nioca:

Agreed. Being on the receiving end of it once, I know how stupid and juvenile it is. If you want to insult me, than insult me. Not my mother/father/some other relative.
We are definitely thinking the same thing.

But just once? That is accepted English at my school. Kids will come up to me and insult my mother for an hour before switching to "your face," or something equally un-creative.

I usually just get out a book and wait for them to finish. I've been insulted so many times over the years that they just don't sting like they used to. However, when somebody started insulting somebody...ah... a friend of mine, I did get a little heated and did something which I quite regret.

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Posts: 794 | Registered: Thursday, July 27 2006 07:00
Agent
Member # 3364
Profile Homepage #70
Two guys walk into a bar.
The guy following them ducks.

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"Even the worst Terror from Hell can be transformed to a testimony from Heaven!" - Rev. David Wood 6\23\05

"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." - John Wesley
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Tuesday, August 19 2003 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 7538
Profile Homepage #71
quote:
Originally written by The Dikiyora:

It's pretty darn funny when "Your mom!" insults come from a full-blooded sibling, though. :P
Agreed. My brother and I do it all the time.

More recently, "your mom" has been a secondary to "your face". (Face can be substituted for various other body parts.)

And now here's a lame joke:

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure.

(I have several others, but they're not suitable to be told here.)

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Do not provoke the turtles.
They do not like being provoked.

-Lenar

My website: Nemesis' Refuge
Posts: 743 | Registered: Friday, September 29 2006 07:00
Shaper
Member # 6292
Profile #72
quote:
Originally written by Jewels:

Two guys walk into a bar.
The guy following them ducks.

The guy following them IS a duck.
That guy asks the bartender to put the tab on his bill.

This shamelessly recycled humor brought to you lovingly by:

-S-

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Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 6388
Profile #73
quote:
Originally written by Infernal Flamming Muffin:

quote:
From two years ago
If con is the opposite of pro, then is congress the opposite of progress?
Luckily, we have more hope this year thanks to the Democrats.

I don't know exactly what to make of this.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him strangely for a moment, but he's seen weirder, so he waits for the duck to order something.

A minute passes, then three. "What can I get for you?", says the barman impatiently. The duck thinks on it, and thinks - ducks are not known for coming to quick or decisive solutions, but let us imagine for a moment at the very least they are known for more than quacking and owning feathers. "Well, I do have one thing in mind," the duck says, and because this is a strange world indeed nobody considers all of this miraculous, a talking duck in a bar and all that.

"Yes?"

"Do you have any grapes?" The bartender, not realizing he is part of a joke any more than you would were you in his shoes, takes the duck at face value. "No, I'm afraid not." (If you think that is the punchline, you are thinking of the wrong joke.) The duck curses horribly - ducks are not known for their aptitude at swearing - and leaves.

After a brisk trade in liquor and spirits, the bartender closes shop for the night, arriving bright and early the next morning to tend bar. Around the same time of day, the same duck comes in. While normally bartenders understand who is a flake and who is not, this is a mediocre bartender and he immediately extends the customary hospitality to this lame duck. "Pleasure seeing you again. What can I get you?"

The duck surprises the bartender by, once again, asking "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender doesn't exactly know what to make of this. Wine he has - is the duck asking for that? But serving someone something he didn't ask for is rude, so he simply responds: "No, still don't have any grapes. Anything else I can -" but by now, the duck has already started with his pathetic swearing and the bartender feigns respect as the sad bird leaves the bar again.

The next day the bartender comes in late, dreading all day the prospect of running into this damn animal again, because he feels like less of a bartender all of a sudden because he has no grapes - but he has no reason to have grapes, and for all he knows tomorrow it could be some other lesser animal with an exorbitant demand, like a hippopotamus asking for pizza or Rush Limbaugh asking for painkillers. It is a crisis of faith for this so-so bartender.

In walks that duck in at the same time of day as usual, and almost immediately the bartender takes it out on him. The duck sidles with more confidence than ever before up to the bar and the bartender, instead of extending him courtesy, waits only for the duck to introduce himself before saying "Listen, bird, this is the third time you've come in here and if you ask me for grapes again, so help me God, I will nail your damn bill to the wall. Do you understand me?"

The duck sheepishly complies and quickly scoots out of the bar. The middling bartender realizes all-too-late that he has made an idiotic spectacle of himself with his pre-emptive threatening of a waterfowl, and even then the realization that his future as a bartender has just become short and miserable has settled in.

The next day the duck is only his third patron even though he enters halfway through the day, and by the time he arrives the bartender is drowning his own sorrows in terror of the sudden loss of business and the duck sits down almost unnoticed, in spite of being very nearly alone.

"I think I know what I want today," says the duck.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I don't know if you have it, though."

The bartender's teeth grind against each other a little in anticipation. "What might it be?"

"Do you have a hammer?"

The bartender is momentarily taken aback. "Hold on - let me check." He checks the bar as thoroughly as his drunken stupor allows him to. "No, I don't have a hammer."

"Then I'll have some grapes."

The bartender, at last remembering his threat from the previous afternoon, slowly unzips his fly.

[ Wednesday, February 28, 2007 02:13: Message edited by: Protocols of the Elders of Zion ]
Posts: 794 | Registered: Tuesday, October 11 2005 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #74
If there were a prize for the most original presentation of the worst joke in the world...

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00

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