This sentence describes a topic containing an entirely self-referential short story.
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| Author | Topic: This sentence describes a topic containing an entirely self-referential short story. |
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Bob's Big Date
Member # 3151
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written Saturday, March 6 2004 23:09
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This Is the Title of This Story, Which Is Also Found Several Times in the Story Itself David Moser This is the first sentence of this story. This is the second sentence. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. This sentence is questioning the intrinsic value of the first two sentences. This sentence is to inform you, in case you haven't already realized it, that this is a self-referential story, that is, a story containing sentences that refer to their own structure and function. This is a sentence that provides an ending to the first paragraph. This is the first sentence of a new paragraph in a self-referential story. This sentence is introducing you to the protagonist of the story, a young boy named Billy. This sentence tells you that Billy is blond and blue-eyed and American and twelve years old and strangling his mother. This sentence comments on the awkward nature of the self-referential narrative form while recognizing the strange and playful detachment it affords the writer. As if illustrating the point made by the last sentence, this sentence reminds us, with no trace of facetiousness, that children are a precious gift from God and that the world is a better place when graced by the unique joys and delights they bring to it. This sentence describes Billy's mother's bulging eyes and protruding tongue and makes reference to the unpleasant choking and gagging noises she's making. This sentence makes the observation that these are uncertain and difficult times, and that relationships, even seemingly deep-rooted and permanent ones, do have a tendency to break down. Introduces, in this paragraph, the device of sentence fragments. A sentence fragment. Another. Good device. Will be used more later. This is actually the last sentence of this story but has been placed here by mistake. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times within the story itself. As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself in his bed transformed into a gigantic insect. This sentence informs you that the preceding sentence is from another story entirely (a better one, it must be noted) and has no place at all in this particular narrative. Despite the claims of the preceding sentence, this sentence feels compelled to inform you that the story you are reading is in actuality ``The Metamorphosis'' by Franz Kafka, and that the sentence referred to by the preceding sentence is the only sentence which does indeed belong to the story. This sentence overrides the preceding sentence by informing the reader (poor, confused wretch) that this piece of literature is actually the Declaration of Independence, but that the author, in a show of extreme negligence (if not malicious sabotage), has so far failed to include even one single sentence from that stirring document, although he has condescended to use a small sentence fragment, namely, ``When in the course of human events,'' embedded in quotation marks near the end of a sentence. Showing a keen awareness of the boredom and downright hostility of the average reader with regard to the pointless conceptual games indulged in by the preceding sentences, this sentence returns us at last to the scenario of the story by asking the question, ``Why is Billy strangling his mother?'' This sentence attempts to shed some light on the question posed by the preceding sentence but fails. This sentence, however, succeeds, in that it suggests a possible incestuous relationship between Billy and his mother and alludes to the concomitant Freudian complications an astute reader will immediately envision. Incest. The unspeakable taboo. The universal prohibition. Incest. And notice the sentence fragments? Good literary device. Will be used more later. This sentence is the first sentence in a new paragraph. This is the last sentence in a new paragraph. This sentence can serve as either the beginning of the paragraph or the end, depending on its placement. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. This sentence raises a serious objection to the entire class of self-referential sentences that merely comment on their own function or placement within the story (e.g., the preceding four sentences), on the grounds that they are monotonously predictable, unforgivably self-indulgent, and merely serve to distract the reader from the real subject of this story, which at this point seems to concern strangulation and incest and who knows what other delightful topics. The purpose of this sentence is to point out that the preceding sentence, while not itself a member of the class of self-referential sentences it objects to, nevertheless also serves merely to distract the reader from the real subject of this story, which actually concerns Gregor Samsa's inexplicable transformation into a gigantic insect (despite the vociferous counterclaims of other well-meaning although misinformed sentences). This sentence can serve as either the beginning of the paragraph or the end, depending on its placement. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. This is almost the title of this story, which is found only once in the story itself. This sentence regretfully states that up to this point the self-referential mode of narrative has had a paralyzing effect on the actual progress of the story itself---that is, these sentences have been so concerned with analyzing themselves and their role in the story that they have failed by and large to perform their function as communicators of events and ideas that one hopes coalesce into a plot, character development, etc.---in short, the very raisons d'être of any respectable, hardworking sentence in the midst of a piece of compelling prose fiction. This sentence in addition points out the obvious analogy between the plight of these agonizingly self-aware sentences and similarly afflicted human beings, and it points out the analogous paralyzing effects wrought by excessive and tortured self-examination. The purpose of this sentence (which can also serve as a paragraph) is to speculate that if the Declaration of Independence had been worded and structured as lackadaisically and incoherently as this story has been so far, there's no telling what kind of warped libertine society we'd be living in now or to what depths of decadence the inhabitants of this country might have sunk, even to the point of deranged and debased writers constructing irritatingly cumbersome and needlessly prolix sentences that sometimes possess the questionable if not downright undesirable quality of referring to themselves and they sometimes even become run-on sentences or exhibit other signs of inexcusably sloppy grammar like unneeded superfluous redundancies that almost certainly would have insidious effects on the lifestyle and morals of our impressionable youth, leading them to commit incest or even murder and maybe that's why Billy is strangling his mother, because of sentences just like this one, which have no discernible goals or perspicuous purpose and just end up anywhere, even in mid Bizarre. A sentence fragment. Another fragment. Twelve years old. This is a sentence that. Fragmented. And strangling his mother. Sorry, sorry. Bizarre. This. More fragments. This is it. Fragments. The title of this story, which. Blond. Sorry, sorry. Fragment after fragment. Harder. This is a sentence that. Fragments. Damn good device. The purpose of this sentence is threefold: (1) to apologize for the unfortunate and inexplicable lapse exhibited by the preceding paragraph; (2) to assure you, the reader, that it will not happen again; and (3) to reiterate the point that these are uncertain and difficult times and that aspects of language, even seemingly stable and deeply rooted ones such as syntax and meaning, do break down. This sentence adds nothing substantial to the sentiments of the preceding sentence but merely provides a concluding sentence to this paragraph, which otherwise might not have one. This sentence, in a sudden and courageous burst of altruism, tries to abandon the self-referential mode but fails. This sentence tries again, but the attempt is doomed from the start. This sentence, in a last ditch attempt to infuse some iota of story line into this paralyzed prose piece, quickly alludes to Billy's frantic cover-up attempts, followed by a lyrical, touching, and beautifully written passage, wherein Billy is reconciled with his father (thus resolving the subliminal Freudian conflicts obvious to any astute reader) and a final exciting police chase scene during which Billy is accidentally shot and killed by a panicky rookie policeman who is coincidentally named Billy. This sentence, although basically in complete sympathy with the laudable efforts of the preceding action-packed sentence, reminds the reader that such allusions to a story that doesn't, in fact, yet exist are no substitute for the real thing and therefore will not get the author (indolent goof-off that he is) off the proverbial hook. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. The purpose. Of this paragraph. Is to apologize. For its gratuitous use. Of. Sentence fragments. Sorry. The purpose of this sentence is to apologize for the pointless and silly adolescent games indulged in by the preceding two paragraphs, and to express regret on the part of us, the more mature sentences, that the entire tone of this story is such that it can't seem to communicate a simple, albeit sordid, scenario. This sentence wishes to apologize for all the needless apologies found in this story (this one included), which, although placed here ostensibly for the benefit of the more vexed readers, merely delay in a maddeningly recursive way the continuation of the by-now nearly forgotten story line. This sentence is bursting at the punctuation marks with news of the dire import of self-reference as applied to sentences, a practice that could prove to be a veritable Pandora's box of potential havoc, for if a sentence can refer or allude to itself, why not a lowly subordinate clause, perhaps this very clause? Or this sentence fragment? Or three words? Two words? One? Perhaps it is appropriate that this sentence gently and with no trace of condescension remind us that these are indeed difficult and uncertain times and that in general people just aren't nice enough to each other, and perhaps we, whether sentient human beings or sentient sentences, should just try harder. I mean, there is such a thing as free will, there has to be, and this sentence is proof of it! Neither this sentence nor you, the reader, is completely helpless in the face of all the pitiless forces at work in the universe. We should stand our ground, face facts, take Mother Nature by the throat and just try harder. By the throat. Harder. Harder, harder. Sorry. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. This is the last sentence of the story. This is the last sentence of the story. This is the last sentence of the story. This is. Sorry. -------------------- AnamaFreak (3:59:56 AM): Shounen-ai to the MAX Misogynism is the wave of the future, but it sure pisses the womenfolk off. Shocking, isn't it? Posts: 2367 | Registered: Friday, June 27 2003 07:00 |
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Lifecrafter
Member # 233
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written Saturday, March 6 2004 23:14
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As my mother would say, and as your mother probably says every day, Are you trying to punish me for something? -------------------- I'm just too selfish to be Zen. I mean, once you lose yourself and reach total enlightenment you don't care what the answer was in the first place. Ultimately a few good friends and a bag of Doritos is a better investment. There is no such thing as an over-active imagination. Hmm... These games are addictive and quite possibly dangerous. I fear the FDA will start regulating RPGs. Posts: 728 | Registered: Monday, October 29 2001 08:00 |
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Post Navel Trauma ^_^
Member # 67
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written Saturday, March 6 2004 23:37
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quote:I should certainly hope so. -------------------- Grammar wenches beware: This is the house that the malt that the rat that the cat that the dog that the cow that the maiden that the man that the priest that the cock that the farmer kept waked married kissed milked tossed worried killed ate lay in. My Website BoA BetterEditor for MacOS X desperance.net - Leave your sanity at the door Posts: 1798 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00 |
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Shock Trooper
Member # 3980
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written Saturday, March 6 2004 23:57
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The story demonstrates that we become immobilized by analyzing what we do. Why not stop punishing ourselves? Let us go out and play! Bye! [ Sunday, March 07, 2004 02:44: Message edited by: yet another procrastinator ] Posts: 311 | Registered: Friday, February 13 2004 08:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 335
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written Sunday, March 7 2004 09:54
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I, for one, found that to be an unusual coherent and touching piece of literature. Anyone who cannot empathize with Billy's plight, or at least the authors, should be shot shortly after the protagonist and his creator. ?Alorael, who does like. Sentence fragments. Except. When they are used. In places where a. Sentence would. Serve better. Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00 |
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Agent
Member # 618
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written Sunday, March 7 2004 15:50
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Koolbeans! That is probably the most useless, silly piece of literature I ever had the pleasure of enjoying. An inspired story with good morals, clear and concise character development and a good, consistent (amusing aswell) theme. You could probably get it published as a short story, though it might need a bit of bulking up, like more punctuation or something. Good on you chappie! -------------------- I like to say quack because I can, I like to say moooo because I can, but I don't like saying ergle flmp because I can never pronounce phenomenon first try. In conclusion, quack, moooo and phenonemenonmenonnon... Oh Poo. http://s4.invisionfree.com/Ultimate_RP/index.php Try it! Posts: 1487 | Registered: Sunday, February 10 2002 08:00 |
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Guardian
Member # 2238
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written Sunday, March 7 2004 15:55
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Reminds me wholy of the essays my classmates and I would write of the worst teacher in the world... Mrs. Townsend. Ah... high school was a never ending. Bliss. Of a. Time. (I felt the need to copy Alorael) -------------------- Better to die for something, than live for nothing. Posts: 1582 | Registered: Wednesday, November 13 2002 08:00 |
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Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Member # 919
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written Sunday, March 7 2004 16:52
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The purpose of this sentence is to inform the reader(s) that the writer(s) of this sentence found the above self-referential story very interesting. This sentence has been written to acknowledge the uselessness of the second "(s)", the one after "writer". This sentence elaborates; everyone knows that this post is being typed by only one person. This sentence agrees that this writing style is extremely annoying, but also quite interesting. This sentence ends this post. This sentence correctly states that the previous sentence was a blatant lie, and that the following sentence will truly end the post. This post ends with this sentence. -------------------- And though the musicians would die, the music would live on in the imaginations of all who heard it. -The Last Pendragon TEH CONSPIRACY IZ ALL In case of emergency, break glass. Posts: 3351 | Registered: Saturday, April 6 2002 08:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 335
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written Sunday, March 7 2004 18:04
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The story strongly implies that it was written by one David Moser, and if Alec found it it was presumably published in some form, electronic or otherwise. ?Alorael, who thinks it would be entertaining to write posts in that self-referential style. At least for a short time. With sentence fragments. Then it would be a pain to read and even more of a pain to write. Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00 |
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Agent
Member # 1993
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written Monday, March 8 2004 17:05
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This is a strange and fascinating story. It has a certain rhythm and reminds me to Laurie Anderson (who is one of my favorite artist btw). But I'm confused a little bit: Who is David Moser? Didn't Alec write the story himself? What would be the pupose to post whole stories, that ar not self written? :confused: )("((""" -------------------- ^ö^ Vegetarians are sexy. Solar power is the wave of the future. Posts: 1420 | Registered: Wednesday, October 2 2002 07:00 |
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Agent
Member # 1993
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written Monday, March 8 2004 17:06
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oops sorry. bandwith problems ... [ Monday, March 08, 2004 17:07: Message edited by: spy.there ] -------------------- ^ö^ Vegetarians are sexy. Solar power is the wave of the future. Posts: 1420 | Registered: Wednesday, October 2 2002 07:00 |
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...b10010b...
Member # 869
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written Monday, March 8 2004 19:20
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Nope, this wasn't written by Alec. He most likely found it on www.everything2.com , a website for which he has a secret and shameful fetish. -------------------- I believe there are 15 747 724 136 275 002 577 105 653 961 181 555 468 044 717 914 527 116 709 366 231 425 076 185 631 031 296 protons in the universe, and the same number of electrons. -- Sir Arthur Eddington Posts: 9973 | Registered: Saturday, March 30 2002 08:00 |
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Agent
Member # 1993
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written Tuesday, March 9 2004 11:50
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But the question to Alec's aim is still open. Why did he place that story here? Does he admire the unusual self-reflecting style of writing? Does he identify himself with a twelve year old boy killing his mother? Should we start a discussion about style and contents? Custer, reload! Explain us the insidious meaning of your post. Still inquisitive. -------------------- ^ö^ Vegetarians are sexy. Solar power is the wave of the future. Posts: 1420 | Registered: Wednesday, October 2 2002 07:00 |
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Warrior
Member # 1229
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written Tuesday, March 9 2004 19:38
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This story made me want to go mad and possibly spout random and meaningless sentences that have no relation to eachother. Something along the lines of: LIZARDS! I'M GONNA EAT YOU! BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT! I EXIST ONLY TO SERVE! POWER TO THE GENERATORS! JUSTICE IS DONE! FRUIT SALAD? MORE PRECIOUS THAN A POT OF GOLD! And such ends my poetic masterpiece. Posts: 69 | Registered: Tuesday, May 28 2002 07:00 |
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Warrior
Member # 1229
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written Tuesday, March 9 2004 19:39
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This story made me want to go mad and possibly spout random and meaningless sentences that have no relation to eachother. Something along the lines of: LIZARDS! I'M GONNA EAT YOU! BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT! I EXIST ONLY TO SERVE! POWER TO THE GENERATORS! JUSTICE IS DONE! FRUIT SALAD? MORE PRECIOUS THAN A POT OF GOLD! And so ends my poetic masterpiece. EDIT: Rah roh. Pardon the double post. [ Tuesday, March 09, 2004 19:40: Message edited by: EatAChinchilla ] Posts: 69 | Registered: Tuesday, May 28 2002 07:00 |
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Shock Trooper
Member # 4000
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written Tuesday, March 9 2004 20:00
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It was still somewhat mildly entertaining... And SW Boards are starting to hang a little, bandwidth? Just don't be tempted to push the "Add Reply" Button twice. -------------------- ♫ The truth is screaming BIG ♫ ♫ A light so bright ♫ ♫ Whether day or night ♫ ♫ It can't be hid ♫ § realitycorp@gmail.com § ►► Chance is back online! ◄◄ Posts: 245 | Registered: Tuesday, February 17 2004 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 1877
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written Thursday, March 11 2004 10:02
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EatAChinchilla, I have to say I identify myself in you, I ur... GREMLINS ARE FOR SUNSHINE! GOOD? NO FETISH WILL EVALUATE THE MICE! GO GO GO GO GO STOP! NADA IN THE WEREWOLF FOR HECKS SAKE! IN THE WEELBARROW! APPLEPIE? EatAChocobo! FORTH ÈORLINGAS! A truly fasinating story! Why the bloody hell did Mr. Moser write this. -------------------- For Ancelot the ancient cross of war for the holy town of gods Gloria, gloria perpetua in this dawn of victory The one and only StD! 33111-CRUSADER-4849 Posts: 662 | Registered: Friday, September 13 2002 07:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 1220
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written Thursday, March 11 2004 16:42
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The scary part is I read it all. Why is it everyone of my day actually after has a custon sig? I WANT CUSTOM TITLE  [ Saturday, March 13, 2004 07:58: Message edited by: A guy with not so perfict grammer ] -------------------- Getapc -------------------- The Flaming Sword of not perfict grammer has now become The Flaming Sword of Pretty Good Grammar. -------------------- Warning pretty good grammar behind.▓ -------------------- A guy with not so perfict grammer has changed to A guy with pretty good grammar. -------------------- I shortened my signature more. Posts: 484 | Registered: Monday, May 27 2002 07:00 |
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Shock Trooper
Member # 4000
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written Thursday, March 11 2004 17:01
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Then make one. Also, learn how to spell custom. THE GUINEA PIG ATTACKS! TESTTUBE IS IN DISGUST! WILL IT EVER END? ALORAEL WANTS MORE SKRIBBANE! KNOWING WHERE THE NUCLEAR PLANT IS, THE TERRORISTS SET A BOMB! SUCCESS HAS 420 DISTINGUISHABLE PERMUATIONS! [ Thursday, March 11, 2004 17:05: Message edited by: Gremlin Chief ] -------------------- ♫ The truth is screaming BIG ♫ ♫ A light so bright ♫ ♫ Whether day or night ♫ ♫ It can't be hid ♫ § realitycorp@gmail.com § ►► Chance is back online! ◄◄ Posts: 245 | Registered: Tuesday, February 17 2004 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 1220
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written Saturday, March 13 2004 07:59
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Drakey is the only one who gives custom Titles. -------------------- Getapc -------------------- The Flaming Sword of not perfict grammer has now become The Flaming Sword of Pretty Good Grammar. -------------------- Warning pretty good grammar behind.▓ -------------------- A guy with not so perfict grammer has changed to A guy with pretty good grammar. -------------------- I shortened my signature more. Posts: 484 | Registered: Monday, May 27 2002 07:00 |
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Lifecrafter
Member # 3608
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written Saturday, March 13 2004 08:07
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Which is true, partially. Both Jeff and Stareye can do that too. -------------------- - The Great Mister kommari@gmail.com[/url] Posts: 972 | Registered: Tuesday, October 28 2003 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 1220
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written Saturday, March 13 2004 10:56
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I know they can but only Drakey does. -------------------- Getapc -------------------- The Flaming Sword of not perfict grammer has now become The Flaming Sword of Pretty Good Grammar. -------------------- Warning pretty good grammar behind.▓ -------------------- A guy with not so perfict grammer has changed to A guy with pretty good grammar. -------------------- I shortened my signature more. Posts: 484 | Registered: Monday, May 27 2002 07:00 |
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Shock Trooper
Member # 2300
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written Saturday, March 13 2004 13:22
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ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT! A GLASS OF WATER! THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO! RHETORIC? I'LL GIVE YOU RHETORIC! THE ONLY GOOD CLOWN IS A DEAD CLOWN! FEISTY SLAP OF PAIN! I do like that style of writing. Good way to relieve the stress of day-to-day-to-day life. -------------------- Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads -- they are not there accidentally." - Soviet infantry manual, 1930's Posts: 267 | Registered: Wednesday, November 27 2002 08:00 |
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BANNED
Member # 4
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written Thursday, April 1 2004 03:28
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bump -------------------- Rate My Scenarios! Streila Spies Unbalanced Accounts Inn of Blades Echoes Echoes: Assault Echoes: Black Horse Echoes: Pawns Bandits Echoes: Combat/Skirmish Two Strands Bandits II: Ballad of the Red Star Roses of Reckoning (BoE) Corporeus The Claim Roses of Reckoning (BoA) Nebulous Times Hence Posts: 6936 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00 |
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...b10010b...
Member # 869
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written Thursday, April 1 2004 03:32
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Was that really necessary? -------------------- I believe there are 15 747 724 136 275 002 577 105 653 961 181 555 468 044 717 914 527 116 709 366 231 425 076 185 631 031 296 protons in the universe, and the same number of electrons. -- Sir Arthur Eddington Posts: 9973 | Registered: Saturday, March 30 2002 08:00 |
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