noob info

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AuthorTopic: noob info
Zeviz
Nuke and Pave
Member # 24
 written Friday, August 31 2007 14:43 Profile Homepage #25
I've tried to summarize the serious parts of the list in a fun way and came up with the following. Not sure if you want to use it in addition to/instead of the original thread, but here it is:

1. Leave your sanity at the door.*

2. While it is not necessary to continually maintain the level of discourse appropriate for instructional process at a major academic institution, if u rite like this or use teh 1337 u'll be laft of teh boardz and teh intrawebz.

3. All gimmicks should be considered the property of their current users and stolen at your own risk. Potential penalties for violation include, but are not limited to sniping, mocking, unfavorable portrayal in forum fiction, and spontaneous combustion.

4. While exact Spidweb pantheon is subject to debates and holy wars, Jeff Vogel (Member #1, Spidweb) is undisputed supreme god for the following reasons:
- He has created these forums.
- He has the power to destroy these forums.
- He sets the rules to guide us and the laws to judge us.
- He sets moderators to watch over us.
- He smites all those who challenge his authority, banishing them from existence.

5. Members number 2, 3, 6, and 7 are all immediate agents of Jeff and their decrees should be treated with proper respect.

6. Do not start a new thread for a subject that was recently discussed.

7. Do not post in a thread that is too old.

8. If the combination of rules 6 and 7 above is preventing you from discussing certain subjects you can pray to Richard White, Chthulhu, or some other resident deity for guidance. Or just use your best judgment.

9. Do not feed the trolls. (Unless you enjoy being troll food.)

10. If you are easily offended, don't get involved in political, religious, philosophical, or any other kind of discussion, debate, argument, or conversation. (This is the internet, after all, even if we try to maintain a civil environment.)

11. Like every good bridge, this place has its trolls. Don't try to emulate them. Even the most prominent of them sometimes get banned, and you don't have any Get out of Jail Free cards yet.

12. Using these boards as a chatroom, starting posting games, or spamming (unless it's very funny) are reliable ways to get a custom title. Unfortunately that custom title is "Canned".

13. If the custom title of "Canned" is not sufficient for you, you can continue the behaviors that earned it and you'll be upgraded to "Banned".

14. Most other custom titles are bestowed by Drakey on those he finds worthy while he is sufficiently drunk. Asking for a custom title is the best way to make sure you'll never get one. (Just look at Alorael.)

15. Making "in before the lock" posts, starting threads about karma, or starting excessively frequent postcount celebrations will give you as much popularity as wearing a chunk of moldy cheese on your head.

16. Reading the entire thread before you post, while not strictly required, is a good way to avoid looking like a fool.

17. The UBB software that runs these forums has a short attention span. Posting complete works of literature in a single thread causes the board to forget that the thread ever existed. Regular threads that reach about 20 pages of long posts also stretch the board's patience, causing some pages to disappear.

18. Intentionally using the board's peculiar memory described above to destroy threads is a good way to get a custom title "Banned".

19. There are also ways to annoy individual members to get fun retribution (like being stubbed by mechanical pencil, or sniped), but I'll let those members renew their threats themselves.

20. Any "top 10" type of list is guaranteed to grow to at least 100 entries. :P

* - Neither Spiderweb Software, nor its employees, minions, or pet tarantulas are in any way affiliated with this list, and should not be held responsible for any incidental, consequential, coincidental, or sequential damages that might result from following the advice herein.

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Be careful with a word, as you would with a sword,
For it too has the power to kill.
However well placed word, unlike a well placed sword,
Can also have the power to heal.
Posts: 2649 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
Iffy
Canned
Member # 8014
 written Friday, August 31 2007 14:51 Profile #26
quote:
19. There are also ways to annoy individual members to get fun retribution (like being stubbed by mechanical pencil, or sniped), but I'll let those members renew their threats themselves.
Well, Nalyd would kill you and turn you into an undead.

Infernal Flamming Muffin (me) will either eat you, sit on you, hit you with multiple spells, or teleport you into...I really don't know. It depends on his mood.

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Muffins n' Hell|Muffins n' Hell: The Muffins Are Back Again
I have an addiction to Spiderweb games.
I like this image
Posts: 1799 | Registered: Sunday, February 4 2007 08:00
Arancaytar
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
 written Friday, August 31 2007 15:15 Profile Homepage #27
quote:
Posting complete works of literature in a single thread causes the board to forget that the thread ever existed.
Unless, apparently, the work is by Kafka. The board may simply disapprove of the irony involved. Yay for existentialism.

---

Also, looks like some CSS related trouble to me; or IE choked on a div.

I may try to fix it soon, but, well, it's IE. :P

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The Noble and Most Ancient Order of Polaris - We're Not Yet Dead.
Encyclopedia • Archives • Stats • RSS (This Topic / Forum) • Blog • NaNoWriMo
Did-chat thentagoespyet jumund fori is jus, hat onlime gly nertan ne gethen Firyoubbit 'obio.'
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Jumpin Salmon
? Man, ? Amazing
Member # 5755
 written Friday, August 31 2007 16:28 Profile #28
How about a list of positive aspects of the boards. I'm sick to death of seeing all this crap about what a person shouldn't do, when it would be a heck of a lot nicer to see positive examples.

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Synergy - "I don't get it."

Dikiyoba - "Dang. I'm one firecracker short from getting a gourd potion today."
Posts: 4114 | Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Zeviz
Nuke and Pave
Member # 24
 written Friday, August 31 2007 16:37 Profile Homepage #29
quote:
Originally written by Jumpin' Sarcasmon:

How about a list of positive aspects of the boards. I'm sick to death of seeing all this crap about what a person shouldn't do, when it would be a heck of a lot nicer to see positive examples.
I was just summarizing the original list. (Mainly I was just very bored at work. :P ) The rules do tend to focus on the punishments. That's just the nature of rules. However, if you have a list of positive examples, it would be good too.

--------------------
Be careful with a word, as you would with a sword,
For it too has the power to kill.
However well placed word, unlike a well placed sword,
Can also have the power to heal.
Posts: 2649 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
Zephious Shadowsong
Apprentice
Member # 10164
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 00:44 Profile #30
List seems reasonable.

I can see why the first one was implimented

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My advise on Vista? Dont get it...
Posts: 14 | Registered: Friday, August 31 2007 07:00
Iffy
Canned
Member # 8014
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 05:03 Profile #31
When I left my sanity at the door, I felt like I really did leave my sanity at the door.

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Muffins n' Hell|Muffins n' Hell: The Muffins Are Back Again
I have an addiction to Spiderweb games.
I like this image
Posts: 1799 | Registered: Sunday, February 4 2007 08:00
We Didn't Shard of Fire
Infiltrator
Member # 4826
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 05:54 Profile #32
quote:
Originally written by An Iffy Shaped Milk Bottle:

When I left my sanity at the door, I felt like I really did leave my sanity at the door.
Gosh, that's amazing!

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"Of course, not all technology is good. Some is exactly the opposite (bad)." — Dave Barry
Posts: 458 | Registered: Friday, August 6 2004 07:00
Iffy
Canned
Member # 8014
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 06:11 Profile #33
If you want to use sarcasm, use [sarcasm][/sarcasm] so that people don't missinterpret it.

And I am serious.

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Muffins n' Hell|Muffins n' Hell: The Muffins Are Back Again
I have an addiction to Spiderweb games.
I like this image
Posts: 1799 | Registered: Sunday, February 4 2007 08:00
The Almighty Doer of Stuff
Shaper
Member # 73
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 06:29 Profile #34
You're funny, Iffy.

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My Myspace, with some of my audial and visual art
The Lyceum - The Headquarters of the Blades designing community
The Louvre - The Blades of Avernum graphics database
Alexandria - The Blades of Exile Scenario database
BoE Webring - Self explanatory
Polaris - Free porn here
Odd Todd - Fun for the unemployed (and everyone else too)
They Might Be Giants - Four websites for one of the greatest bands in existance
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Posts: 2957 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
We Didn't Shard of Fire
Infiltrator
Member # 4826
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 07:56 Profile #35
quote:
Originally written by An Iffy Shaped Milk Bottle:

If you want to use sarcasm, use [sarcasm][/sarcasm] so that people don't missinterpret it.

And I am serious.
No.

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"Of course, not all technology is good. Some is exactly the opposite (bad)." — Dave Barry
Posts: 458 | Registered: Friday, August 6 2004 07:00
Iffy
Canned
Member # 8014
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 08:16 Profile #36
quote:
Originaly by Dweller of the Cave
I don't take suggestions.
FYT

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Muffins n' Hell|Muffins n' Hell: The Muffins Are Back Again
I have an addiction to Spiderweb games.
I like this image
Posts: 1799 | Registered: Sunday, February 4 2007 08:00
Micawber
Agent
Member # 2759
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 09:25 Profile Homepage #37
IMAGE(http://www.anthonygoreham.net/jpg/facepalm.jpg)

And thus it came to pass that yet another topic was smothered by his Iffyness.

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"Blink and you're dead... Don't turn your back, don't look away and don't blink."

Geneforge 4 stuff. Also, everything I know about Avernum | Avernum 2 | Avernum 3 | Avernum 4
Posts: 1104 | Registered: Monday, March 10 2003 08:00
We Didn't Shard of Fire
Infiltrator
Member # 4826
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 09:40 Profile #38
Alorael, you might wanna follow through with some of your threats toward Iffy...

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"Of course, not all technology is good. Some is exactly the opposite (bad)." — Dave Barry
Posts: 458 | Registered: Friday, August 6 2004 07:00
Or else o'erleap.
Law Bringer
Member # 335
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 09:52 Profile Homepage #39
I might, but I think it's too late now. Next time I will take no prisoners, show no mercy, and leave no post unedited.

—Alorael, who thinks that it's worth adding that taking advice on how not to seem terribly new from people who are terribly new may in fact be a strategy for never getting the shiny rubbed off you.
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
Jumpin Salmon
? Man, ? Amazing
Member # 5755
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 10:05 Profile #40
quote:
Originally written by Zeviz:

However, if you have a list of positive examples, it would be good too.
I got nothing. This place has more rules than a stock holder meeting. The only enjoyment possible is watching other people pick on noobs, and for the occasional deus ex.

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Synergy - "I don't get it."

Dikiyoba - "Dang. I'm one firecracker short from getting a gourd potion today."
Posts: 4114 | Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Randomizer
Law Bringer
Member # 6785
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 20:36 Profile #41
Post something useful and interesting if you don't want to get picked on.

Still has a negative part. Comes from our efforts to stamp out bad behavior.
Posts: 4643 | Registered: Friday, February 10 2006 08:00
Dikiyoba
Councilor
Member # 6600
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 20:48 Profile Homepage #42
Why not make it read "If it's useful or interesting, post it."?

Dikiyoba.

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Episode 4: Spiderweb Reloaded
Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00
Andraste
Agent
Member # 1934
 written Saturday, September 1 2007 21:41 Profile Homepage #43
quote:
Originally written by Dikiyoba:

"If it's useful or interesting, post it."?
Definitions of "useful" and "interesting" vary greatly by age/maturity level.

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You acquire an item: Radio Free Foil
Posts: 1169 | Registered: Monday, September 23 2002 07:00
Zephious Shadowsong
Apprentice
Member # 10164
 written Sunday, September 2 2007 00:26 Profile #44
He has a point...

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My advise on Vista? Dont get it...
Posts: 14 | Registered: Friday, August 31 2007 07:00
Wiz
Apprentice
Member # 2473
 written Sunday, September 2 2007 03:01 Profile #45
I think 'She' would be more appropriate. Or am i mistaken?

And yes, she has a point. I'm pretty sure most of the posts generally regarded to be spam would be considered interesting/useful by the poster.
Posts: 23 | Registered: Friday, January 10 2003 08:00
Actaeon
Shock Trooper
Member # 5545
 written Sunday, September 2 2007 06:21 Profile Homepage #46
quote:
Originally written by Wiz:

I think 'She' would be more appropriate. Or am i mistaken?
Nope, you're right on. Andra's definitely a she.

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Plaudite, amici, comedia finita est.
Posts: 344 | Registered: Friday, February 25 2005 08:00
Zephious Shadowsong
Apprentice
Member # 10164
 written Sunday, September 2 2007 06:53 Profile #47
'gulps'

Oh..errr

Sorry

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My advise on Vista? Dont get it...
Posts: 14 | Registered: Friday, August 31 2007 07:00
Andraste
Agent
Member # 1934
 written Sunday, September 2 2007 08:31 Profile Homepage #48
New rule: Check gender before before using pronouns.

Just kidding. It's a common mistake.

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You acquire an item: Radio Free Foil
Posts: 1169 | Registered: Monday, September 23 2002 07:00
Dikiyoba
Councilor
Member # 6600
 written Sunday, September 2 2007 11:52 Profile Homepage #49
quote:
Originally
written
by
root:
quote:
Posting
complete
works
of
literature
in a
single
thread
causes
the
board
to
forget
that
the
thread
ever
existed.
Unless,
apparently,
the
work
is by
Kafka.
The
board
may
simply
disapprove
of
the
irony
involved.
Yay
for
existentialism.

---

Also,
looks
like
some
CSS
related
trouble
to me;
or IE
choked
on a
div.

I may
try to
fix it
soon,
but,
well,
it's IE. :P
*Insert Dikiyoba's plea for a fix soon here.*

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Episode 4: Spiderweb Reloaded
Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00

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