Plumbing the depths...
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Law Bringer
Member # 4153
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written Wednesday, October 18 2006 21:04
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Sure, the title may suggest a technical degree in plumbing maintenance, but this thread is about the worst of the worst. If possible, worse than that. Let's hear the worst movie you've ever seen. You need to have seen the whole thing, and not just bad as in "I didn't like it". It has to be godawful, with cinematography that would make the makers of the Blair Witch Project cringe. It has to be laughably pathetic in its attempts to be taken seriously enough to make a profit. Thus, I start the discussion with the bomb Shark Attack 3. I haven't tried the first two, though I believe they're just as bad. In fact, my fellow dorm-mates made a game of it, which communicates just how horrible it is. Basically, you get a point for any of the following: -Scenes where the shark growls -Scenes which use stock footage -Bad computer graphics -Scenes where you can tell that the boat they're on isn't actually moving -Scenes where the stunt doubles and/or crew are obviously present -Bad dubbing (there was a lot of this, since the entire thing was dubbed... apparently the all-Bulgarian cast could mouth English and Spanish, but not speak them) -Every time the "hero" pushes the boat past full throttle -Every time the shark changes size (particularly between stock shots) ...there were more, I think, but you get the idea. Who else has witnessed gems such as these? -------------------- Gamble with Gaea, and she eats your dice. I hate undead. I really, really, really, really hate undead. With a passion. Posts: 4130 | Registered: Friday, March 26 2004 08:00 |
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? Man, ? Amazing
Member # 5755
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written Wednesday, October 18 2006 21:35
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I too have seen the depths of hell. For plot, nominated was Revenge of the Sith and Butterfly Effect. For utter lack of cool computer graphics (man), the academy liked The Day After Tomorrow (which is about when you return to your senses after watching this dreck.) For total incompetence in directing, casting, and editing, Sahara gave a good showing, but Hidalgo ran away with the award. Lifetime non achievement award (baseball movies notwithstanding) the award is given (again) to Kevin Costner, who proved once again that there are ..... deeper depths to plumb in his acting. -------------------- quote: Posts: 4114 | Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 5410
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 02:55
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I hate to admit this but I watched House of Wax. Woo hoo that was awful. -------------------- "Dikiyoba ... is demon ... drives people mad and ... do all sorts of strange things." "You Spiderwebbians are mad, mad, mad as March hares." Posts: 687 | Registered: Wednesday, January 19 2005 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 4248
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 05:30
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Ghosts of Mars was quite lovely. I suppose it was ment to be a horror movie, but every time, minutes before anything happened, a loud metal song started playing. Also, the martians looked more like HC KISS fans than alien life forms. It was quite funny. Oh, and then there was this jewel called Reptilian. It was, more or less literally, Godzilla made with a 2$ budget. Oh, I still can't help but laugh hysterically to the memory of the movie's hero: an old man with a torn jacket, sounding like he had drank 2 gallons of beer, trying to explain everyone how aliens are going to resurrect a monstrous beast to destroy the world; no wonder everyone thought he was crazy! [ Thursday, October 19, 2006 05:38: Message edited by: Frozen Feet ] -------------------- I have nothing more to do in this world, so I can go & pester the inhabitants of the next one with a pure concscience. Posts: 617 | Registered: Tuesday, April 13 2004 07:00 |
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Guardian
Member # 6670
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 07:40
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Any Godzilla movie. I can't think of any others at the moment, which means that my psychological defense mechanisms are working. By the way, has anyone here seen Howard the Duck? I haven't, but supposedly it's the bad movie to end all bad movies. (In fact, while we're on Lucas, what about the Star Wars Christmas and Ewok Adventures? Again, haven't watched 'em, but I know a couple poor victims who have.) -------------------- I discovered Russell's Paradox today. Wheeeeeeeee!!! Posts: 1509 | Registered: Tuesday, January 10 2006 08:00 |
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Too Sexy for my Title
Member # 5654
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 08:14
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God, so many horrible movies to choose from. Sometimes I wonder why on earth I sat down through them. I can think of hundreds, but it'd be too difficult to rank them. And, I don't care what anyone says: Vanilla Sky and What lies beneath both sucked. Not mentioning The Grudge, When a Stranger calls, and the boogyman, but I'll step up and take the blame for those three. I should've known better than to go watch them. Now, in my defense, I did refuse to go watch Gigli, Cat Woman, and The House of Wax :P . Anyhow, as a promise to my sister, I cannot go through a list of horrible movies, and not mention Dick. The. worst. movie. ever Edit: and how could I have forgotten about Batman and Robin, and Speed 2? [ Thursday, October 19, 2006 08:27: Message edited by: Lenny ] Posts: 1035 | Registered: Friday, April 1 2005 08:00 |
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Councilor
Member # 6600
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 08:19
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Originally by Ephesos: quote:Apparently, they're so bad they can't get a decent Wikipedia article. See? Dikiyoba. Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00 |
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Guardian
Member # 6670
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 08:32
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Shark Attack 3 Wiki: quote:Steve Alten, anyone? -------------------- IF I EVER BECOME AN EVIL OVERLORD: Members of my Legion of Terror will attend seminars on Sensitivity Training. It's good public relations for them to be kind and courteous to the general population when not actively engaged in sowing chaos and destruction. Posts: 1509 | Registered: Tuesday, January 10 2006 08:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 4153
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 09:20
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quote:I watched about thirty minutes of it. Then I had to reload my brain, since it had already oozed out my ears. What I saw was just awful. -------------------- Gamble with Gaea, and she eats your dice. I hate undead. I really, really, really, really hate undead. With a passion. Posts: 4130 | Registered: Friday, March 26 2004 08:00 |
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By Committee
Member # 4233
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 09:38
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Worst movie I've ever seen in theater? Probably Wing Commander. Worst otherwise? The Dungeons & Dragons movie. Posts: 2242 | Registered: Saturday, April 10 2004 07:00 |
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Lifecrafter
Member # 7538
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 10:10
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For acting, I'm inclined to say Revenge of the Sith. Hayden Christiansen (sp?) wins for worst actor in a love scene. For worst actor in general, I must agree that Kevin Costner is pretty bad, but I counter with Sylvester Stallone. All movies that I've seen with him in them were complete failures and never should have existed. -------------------- Do not provoke the turtles. They do not like being provoked. -Lenar My website: Nemesis' Refuge Posts: 743 | Registered: Friday, September 29 2006 07:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 5410
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 10:23
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Oh, I forgot my current fave movie Wendigo. See here: Wendigo. essentially looks like a guy strapped some elk antlers to his head and ran through the trees on stilts. There is also that all-time great Boa vs. Python. Two overly large snakes crawling around and eating things in unbelievable fashion. And favorite actor? Why Dean Cain of course. He has created some real stinkers and it is hilarious to watch his B movies and hear him swear every second word, such a career chang from Superman. -------------------- "Dikiyoba ... is demon ... drives people mad and ... do all sorts of strange things." "You Spiderwebbians are mad, mad, mad as March hares." Posts: 687 | Registered: Wednesday, January 19 2005 08:00 |
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Lifecrafter
Member # 6700
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 11:49
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Worst movie ever seen... Dungeons & Dragons. Hands down. There was exactly one scene in the entire movie with any acting worth paying for. And the special effects were even poor for that time. Least favorite actor... Tom Cruise. Costner takes a close second; but at least I can tolerate watching Costner overact. And yes, they've both had one good success. -------------------- The Silent Assassin refuses to comment. -------------------- -Lenar Labs What's Your Destiny? Ushmushmeifa: Lenar's power is almighty and ineffable. All hail lord Noric, god of... well, something important, I'm sure. Posts: 735 | Registered: Monday, January 16 2006 08:00 |
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Dollop of Whipped Cream
Member # 391
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 12:30
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The worst movie I've ever seen would have to be The Secret Kingdom. I'll have to think on bad actors for a bit. -------------------- "Tyranicus is about the only one that still posts in the Nethergate Forum." —Randomizer Spiderweb Chat Room Shadow Vale - My site, home of the Spiderweb Chat Database, BoA Scenario Database, & the A1 Quest List, among other things. Posts: 562 | Registered: Friday, December 14 2001 08:00 |
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Lifecrafter
Member # 6193
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 14:32
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Any movie with the word "vs" in its title is bound to suck. Freddy vs Jason, Alien vs Predator, the list goes on and on. -------------------- Guaranteed to blow your mind. Frostbite: Get It While It's...... Hot? Posts: 900 | Registered: Monday, August 8 2005 07:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 5132
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 17:57
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I would say NeverEnding Story 3, but I stopped watching in the middle it was so bad. Since I haven't seen the whole thing, I'm not really qualified to share here. I'd love to contribute for real, but unfortunateIy (fortunately) I haven't completely seen any horrible movies. -------------------- "Let us see what the new day brings." - Temas, Areni. Visit my realm! Rate My Scenarios! Fort Emerald Robbery The Nephils' Defense The Final Spire The Fifth Tower of Magi The Portal Posts: 626 | Registered: Monday, October 25 2004 07:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 6785
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 18:29
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I liked Howard the Duck, but then I read the comic for years. As Lea Thompson said on Caroline in the City it is underrated. If you want bad then try Sheena where the only good part was seeing Tanya Roberts without much on and a horrible plot. There is also Red Sonja where even Arnold couldn't redeem it. Posts: 4643 | Registered: Friday, February 10 2006 08:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 7420
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written Thursday, October 19 2006 18:41
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quote:What? The Rocky and Rambo series were institutions I tell you! Institutions! I agree that Dungeons & Dragons was horrible, I think there might even have been a sequel to it, which is tragic. I think the worst overall movie would be something like The Pacifier. You guys seem to be picking movies that have just one or two bad elements. In that case, I'd choose Flight of the Phoenix, for a single line: “but captain, we only have two ignitors left!” Who wrote that? I want his job. -------------------- You lose. Posts: 2156 | Registered: Thursday, August 24 2006 07:00 |
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Lifecrafter
Member # 7538
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written Friday, October 20 2006 09:29
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quote:It doesn't matter how successful the movies themselves were. Sylvester Stallone is just a big muscley guy that thinks he can act, but really can't. For that matter, I fully believe Rocky to have been successful solely because of the music. Then again, this comes from a musician (or so I call myself :P ). -------------------- Do not provoke the turtles. They do not like being provoked. -Lenar My website: Nemesis' Refuge Posts: 743 | Registered: Friday, September 29 2006 07:00 |
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Dollop of Whipped Cream
Member # 391
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written Friday, October 20 2006 09:45
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quote:  -------------------- "Tyranicus is about the only one that still posts in the Nethergate Forum." —Randomizer Spiderweb Chat Room Shadow Vale - My site, home of the Spiderweb Chat Database, BoA Scenario Database, & the A1 Quest List, among other things. Posts: 562 | Registered: Friday, December 14 2001 08:00 |
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Lifecrafter
Member # 7538
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written Friday, October 20 2006 09:59
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No. That's an entirely different matter. That's Chuck Norris. He can act, because if he can't then he's going to kill you. "Chuck Norris doesn't go to his daughter's cheerleading competitions; his daughter's cheerleading competitions go to Chuck Norris." -Anonymous -------------------- Do not provoke the turtles. They do not like being provoked. -Lenar My website: Nemesis' Refuge Posts: 743 | Registered: Friday, September 29 2006 07:00 |
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Electric Sheep One
Member # 3431
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written Friday, October 20 2006 10:11
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quote:Actually he's a rather small muscley guy. For some reason a lot of movie stars are short. Humphrey Bogart in what, Maltese Falcon? "You're not very tall." "Well, I try to be." On the other hand, Stallone wrote the screenplay for the first Rocky movie, when he was a virtual unknown as an actor, and refused to sell the script unless given the starring role. That's a cool way to break into Hollywood, all right. [ Friday, October 20, 2006 10:19: Message edited by: Student of Trinity ] -------------------- We're not doing cool. We're doing pretty. Posts: 3335 | Registered: Thursday, September 4 2003 07:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 4153
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written Monday, November 6 2006 17:31
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Okay, I felt the need to revive this because I recently witnessed one of the worst movies to ever be given respect in mainstream media. Some of you might be familiar with this horrid film... it goes by the name of High School Musical. Disney's made-for-tv-dredges shouldn't be allowed to make it to Broadway... or even to home video, for that matter. Mediocre acting, middle-of-the-road-singing, subpar plot (even for Disney TV movies), an awkwardly-close-to-incest relationship, and thoroughly dislikeable people everywhere. I condemn this movie to the bargain bin of history! -------------------- Gamble with Gaea, and she eats your dice. I hate undead. I really, really, really, really hate undead. With a passion. Posts: 4130 | Registered: Friday, March 26 2004 08:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 6292
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written Monday, November 6 2006 17:34
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Stuck On You Can this tedious and unfunny film possibly be the creation of the same people who brought us Something About Mary and Dumb and Dumber? What happened? Oh, and Dumber and Dumberer was even dumbererer. -S- -------------------- A4 Item Locations A4 Singleton G4 Items List G4 Forging List The Insidious Infiltrator Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00 |
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Councilor
Member # 6600
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written Monday, November 6 2006 17:52
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Originally by Ephesos: quote:I think I've seen it. Or part of it. Or some Disney movie that involved a lot of singing. Is that the one where he wants to be a cook, or is that another one entirely? I think I'm blending two movies. Meh. Mediocrity all runs together. They probably create these movies by throwing darts at a list of pre-set options. One throw to decide who the lead character will be played by, one throw to decide what the main character's secret interest is, one throw to decide which character will be the antagonist, and so on. Dikiyoba. Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00 |
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