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Originally written by Archmage Alex:

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.


Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.

A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.


People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.

When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart.
False.


Only 7% of the population are lefties.

40 people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.
False. Babies are born with all the bones they'll ever have and then some.


The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

The toothbrush was invented in 1498.


The average housefly lives for one month.

40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.


A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.


Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.


Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.


The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's

head are the rabbit and the parrot.


John Travolta turned down the starring roles in "An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie".

Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.


In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash


The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
[qb]
Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.
Untrue, and eww.

Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were seventh cousins.
Given the way European royalty works, this puts Humphrey Bogart as unusually distant from PD among people of European descent.

If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green
Doubtful.

From an e-mail I recieved:

EVER WONDER WHY.............

....the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Melanin.

....women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

....you never see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

...."abbreviated" such a long word?

....doctors call what they do "practice"?

.....to stop Windows 98 or XP, you have to click on "Start"?

....lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is
made with real lemons?

....the man who invests all your money called a broker?

....the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

....there isn't any mouse-flavored cat food?
There's a lot of rat in cat food, don't get it wrong.

....didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

....do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Western civilization is built on the axiom of 'Better safe than sorry'.

....don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff they use for the
indestructible black box?
It wouldn't fly.

....don't sheep shrink when it rains?
They do. That is where we get chihuahuas.

....are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

EVER WONDERED IF......

....since con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
*mutter* fascist *mutter*
....flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Statistically, you're more likely to die on the way there than you are after leaving it.

....dog food is new and improved tasting, who's testing it?
Perhaps it is better to point out that 'new and improved' is sort of a contrary statement: How can something be new if it's an improvement? How can something be an improvement on a previous product if it's brand new?

In case you needed further proof that the
human race is doomed through stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions
on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while
sleeping. ( and that's the only time
I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a
winner! No purchase necessary.Details
inside. (the shoplifter special! )?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions:
Use like regular soap." (and that would
be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's
"just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on
bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread
Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do
not iron clothes on body." (but
wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough
Medicine: "Do not drive a
car or operate machinery
after taking this medication." (We
could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could just
get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May
cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use! only." (as
opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not
to be used for the other use." (now,
somebody out there, help me on this. I'm
a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning:
contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly." (I don't blame the company.
I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not
attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals." (...was there a lot of
this happening somewhere?)
Look for the E2 node on this...

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Are you sure? I remember reading in A Brief History of Time that the number of atoms in the universe is estimated to be around 10^40 or so.

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