Sorry if this is not Spiderweb related. I need advice, and ideas...
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| Author | Topic: Sorry if this is not Spiderweb related. I need advice, and ideas... |
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Shock Trooper
Member # 431
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written Saturday, October 18 2003 10:49
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Yesterday I found out that the guy that I like a lot since April, has a crush on a girl who used to like him (according to her... but I don't trust her!). I can't stop thinking about it, and I cry a lot, because me and him have LOTS in common, and she is an airhead. I didn't talk a lot to him though. It hurts, you have no idea how much. How can I forget about him? How can I cope with the situation? For every experience like this I have, I notice how I'm not made for the stupid dating game, because every time I fail I get more insecure and shy. I'm crying right now. I like him so much!!!  (It's in this kind of situations that I think I'm an airhead and an idiot for posting this crap) [ Saturday, October 18, 2003 10:50: Message edited by: --Troubled queen-- ] -------------------- GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY TOMATO! Posts: 367 | Registered: Sunday, December 23 2001 08:00 |
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Warrior
Member # 2000
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written Saturday, October 18 2003 10:55
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$5 and I'll kill the girl. $.50 and I'll kill you. Either way it solves the problem. Don't post your problems on public message boards, I don't have the will to slander you for this kind of melodramatic whiny problem, but I'm sure someone else will. -------------------- Since Imban Likes to Edit my Posts ... ... And Drakey likes to edit your signature. Stop it, Ed. Posts: 141 | Registered: Wednesday, October 2 2002 07:00 |
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Shake Before Using
Member # 75
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written Saturday, October 18 2003 11:28
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Lemur, will you learn to not post hurtful things? Posts: 3234 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00 |
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Bob's Big Date
Member # 3151
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written Saturday, October 18 2003 11:30
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Why don't you just ban the histrionic arsehole so he can suck himself off in peace? [ Saturday, October 18, 2003 11:30: Message edited by: Saishuu Heiki Custer ] -------------------- In a word, gay. --Bob the Impaler Posts: 2367 | Registered: Friday, June 27 2003 07:00 |
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BANNED
Member # 4
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written Saturday, October 18 2003 11:30
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Stop caring. All things in life are nurtured through sanity, and sanity is nurtured through immutability. Gain a sense of order in your life. Nobody's worth that much pain. -------------------- We're all amazed but not amused By all the things that you said you'd do. You're much concerned but not involved by Decisions that are made by you But we are sick and tired of hearing your song, Telling us how you are going to change right from wrong, 'Cause if you really want to hear our views, You haven't done nothin'. Posts: 6936 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00 |
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Cartographer
Member # 1851
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written Saturday, October 18 2003 11:40
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.. I don't know what to say. Just try and keep yourself in one piece. If that guy's into airhead bimbos, then he ain't worth you. Feelings like love will pass eventually. Wait and you'll be fine. It might take a long time, but it will. I know from experience. -------------------- Ah! My Homepage - In Finnish and English Geneforge - The Maps My Elfwood Gallery - Stories I've written in english The WALL - Forums in Finnish Waitingformedication. I could really use some. Posts: 1308 | Registered: Sunday, September 8 2002 07:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 517
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written Saturday, October 18 2003 12:46
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I concur. Also, if she really is an airhead, the attraction will wear off once he finds that all topics of conversation are exhausted within the first 10 minutes. If you still find you like him after, you may find your relationship better due to the contrast for him. Conversely, if he actually still likes her after he discovers what an airhead she is, you've probably made a fortuitous escape. I know that that degree of dry logic is probably not what you were looking for, but it's the best consolation I can offer you... -E- -------------------- Let them eat cake! Polaris Boards: The System is Up. Perennially. Posts: 2314 | Registered: Tuesday, January 15 2002 08:00 |
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Shock Trooper
Member # 431
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written Saturday, October 18 2003 13:53
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Thanks everyone (even Lemur)... -------------------- GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY TOMATO! Posts: 367 | Registered: Sunday, December 23 2001 08:00 |
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Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Member # 919
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written Saturday, October 18 2003 14:24
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Actually, I'm thinking maybe you should check the facts first. I've heard plenty of times that someone likes someone else, or even is going out with someone else, and then find out later that that is not the case at all. If you can ascertain that he does like her, though, then I'd say Omelette's advice is best. -------------------- And though the musicians would die, the music would live on in the imaginations of all who heard it. -The Last Pendragon TEH CONSPIRACY IZ ALL Les forum de la chance. Incaseofemergency,breakglass. Posts: 3351 | Registered: Saturday, April 6 2002 08:00 |
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Lifecrafter
Member # 3310
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written Sunday, October 19 2003 03:17
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Why don't you believe in the girl? Just because she's an airhead doesn't mean she couldn't really, honestly love him. Of course, I don't know the situation as well as you do, but it just struck me as wierd. It's always hard to know what other people are feeling. If you have lots in common and she's an airhead, then the situation should really solve itself. But I don't suggest you go meddling or something like that. And that would be about all I have to say. Oh, and don't believe in what I just said. It seems I'm beginning to get quite cruel nowadays. It will work out somehow. It always does. Omlette seemed to have some good points. [ Sunday, October 19, 2003 03:18: Message edited by: Ironweed ] Posts: 756 | Registered: Monday, August 4 2003 07:00 |
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...b10010b...
Member # 869
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written Sunday, October 19 2003 04:50
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In my experience, there are no airheads, or at least not nearly as many as most people seem to think. You don't show every facet of your personality to everybody; why would you expect others to? Are you sure your opinions of her aren't biased by the fact that to you she's unwanted competition? You say that you didn't talk to this guy often; he can't read your mind. Everything he knows about you and this other girl is based on the impressions he's gathered of the two of you; he can't know how much you have in common if you don't talk. If he gets to know you, maybe he too will feel that the two of you are well-suited to each other. Unfortunately, it seems you've left your move a little late. My advice is to make yourself known to him, and quickly; once he's in a relationship, trying to break them up is only likely to make everyone's life more difficult. Whether you end up getting the guy or not, at least by communicating you'll find out how he feels about you. Don't let your chance pass you by because he never knew you well enough to love you. -------------------- I believe there are 15 747 724 136 275 002 577 105 653 961 181 555 468 044 717 914 527 116 709 366 231 425 076 185 631 031 296 protons in the universe, and the same number of electrons. -- Sir Arthur Eddington Posts: 9973 | Registered: Saturday, March 30 2002 08:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 496
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written Sunday, October 19 2003 05:14
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All the above seems sound enough advice (except Lemur's), though I'll add Mercucio's: "Take another", etc. It's unlikely to give you a better sense of perspective, but will at least prove satisfactorily distracting. BTW, in defence of 'airheads', it takes me a little longer than 10 minutes to get bored with them. Conversation is incidental, you know...  Posts: 2333 | Registered: Monday, January 7 2002 08:00 |
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BANNED
Member # 4
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written Sunday, October 19 2003 05:23
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If it fails, however, don't cry over it. Absolutely nobody is worth enough pain to cry over. I still think you're walking on thin ice, and there are always Deaco-- err, Sharks in the water. -------------------- We're all amazed but not amused By all the things that you said you'd do. You're much concerned but not involved by Decisions that are made by you But we are sick and tired of hearing your song, Telling us how you are going to change right from wrong, 'Cause if you really want to hear our views, You haven't done nothin'. Posts: 6936 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 2628
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written Sunday, October 19 2003 05:34
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If you haven't talked a lot to him, then how do you know how you really feel about him? It sounds like you know him from a distance, which isn't a strong basis for deciding whether you like someone or not. You need to get to know somebody and they need to get to know you before you can decide whether you really like their personality. I suggest you get to know this guy better, and let him get to know you. Try and make friends with him. You could find you don't really like him ... or you could put yourself in the position of being in the right place at the right time if this other relationship doesn't last. EDIT: I agree with everyone else who suggested you do not try to break up any relationship he is in. It's never a good idea to do that. [ Sunday, October 19, 2003 05:40: Message edited by: Kyna ] -------------------- We meet and part now over all the world; we, the lost company, take hands together in the night, forget the night in our brief happiness, silently. -- Judith Wright My website Posts: 512 | Registered: Wednesday, February 12 2003 08:00 |
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BANNED
Member # 3477
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written Sunday, October 19 2003 10:37
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Hey, look at me I dont care about anything but spiderwebsoftware and I'm happy. Put your life into something that cant betray or hurt you.  -------------------- Avernum is as addictive as skribane!!! Withdrawal symptoms are harsh so I just keep playing. Posts: 296 | Registered: Monday, September 22 2003 07:00 |
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Shock Trooper
Member # 431
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written Sunday, October 19 2003 12:42
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quote:I'm sure. She used to sit by me in class. We were good friends. That was last year. This year she changed. She started hanging with the popular girls, and never talked to me again. A few days ago she did, because she found out that I like the dude. For all we talked, I can confirm that she's an airhead. quote:Because my best friend and I used to go and talk to him. She talked, I didn't. I stayed quiet and heard everything he said. Anyway, I won't try to break up any relationship. I don't think that they're in a relationship right now. And if they ever are, I'll try to forget about him. That will be too tough for me, but I've survived before (in easier situations, but, life's like that...) -------------------- GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY TOMATO! Posts: 367 | Registered: Sunday, December 23 2001 08:00 |
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Babelicious
Member # 3149
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written Sunday, October 19 2003 19:59
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Hey, QoTTT? I'm going to probably get a lot of flak for this, but here goes. You are an interesting, intelligent, sweet, and incidentally very pretty girl. This guy would be lucky to be with you, but whether or not you do end up with him, you'll be all right. You'll find the right person eventually. I know it. I do have an idea how much it hurts. I don't know what it's like to be you, of course, but I know what it's like to want someone that I feel I can never have. There have been times in my life that the loneliness was so crushing and complete that I just wanted to die. I felt useless and alone, and I could never talk to the people I was attracted to. Hell, even now that I'm deep in a loving relationship with one of those people I thought I'd never be able to have, it still sometimes amazes me that I have her. But I do. And you're a lot prettier and a lot nicer than I am, so you don't have anything to worry about. Just know that it will pass. Posts: 999 | Registered: Friday, June 27 2003 07:00 |
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Agent
Member # 366
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written Monday, October 20 2003 08:23
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If you like him then ask him out, it's that simple. He probably has no idea that you like him anyway, since men aren't mind readers. He'll either say yes, which will make you happy, or he'll say no, in which case at least you'll know where you stand and you can move on to the next one. And if you don't trust your friend then you need to ditch her. No-one needs people like that. -------------------- I say never be complete. I say stop being perfect. I say let's evolve. Let the chips fall where they may. Posts: 1277 | Registered: Sunday, December 9 2001 08:00 |
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BANNED
Member # 4
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written Monday, October 20 2003 09:58
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It seems to me as if you're not even considering order at this point, QotTT. It always amazes me why people keep on practically shoving themselves back into the chaos. -------------------- We're all amazed but not amused By all the things that you said you'd do. You're much concerned but not involved by Decisions that are made by you But we are sick and tired of hearing your song, Telling us how you are going to change right from wrong, 'Cause if you really want to hear our views, You haven't done nothin'. Posts: 6936 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00 |
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Agent
Member # 2820
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written Monday, October 20 2003 10:30
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There are a bunch of things you could do. Although I am just speculating on a lot of things so taking my advice is probably the worst thing you could do. You could wait and find out what will happen. If the guy isn't fed up with the airhead, then leave it be. If he does breakup (one word?), then you might have your chance but you must make a pretty clear message to him. I know that not doing anything and hoping the other person will notice you willn't help. Yes, I said willn't. -------------------- How do signature's work? -Keep Posts: 1415 | Registered: Thursday, March 27 2003 08:00 |
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Shock Trooper
Member # 18
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written Thursday, October 23 2003 09:59
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Hee hee hee. My current girlfriend (I love saying that) was actually going out with one of my friends (for a short space of time), somewhat to her disaproval, when we got together. The thing is, I had no idea they were! We've being together for a year or so now and I'm still fairly good friends with her ex. Well, I go to uni and organise Monopoly board pub crawls with him, so we're alright friends. It was a little more convaluted than that, but you get the gist. Just wanted to share my twisted experience. Never forget that before feast there must be famine! Md. Posts: 304 | Registered: Monday, October 1 2001 07:00 |
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Shock Trooper
Member # 431
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written Thursday, October 23 2003 16:03
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I talked to him the other day. I told him something like "you know... I heard you like that girl..." and he said "I kinda like her... she's a nice girl". I went "Ok...". Today I gave him a letter wich explains every feeling I have for him (Including stuff like "I think we have a lot in common" and "I know you like her, and that's ok, 'cos she talks a lot more than me, but I'm really shy...") Well, I hope he appreciates it. If he doesn't, then I'll move on. -------------------- GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY TOMATO! Posts: 367 | Registered: Sunday, December 23 2001 08:00 |
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Agent
Member # 366
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written Friday, October 24 2003 05:47
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Never put down how you really feel in a letter! Number 1 it makes you look too shy, and number 2, it can fall into the wrong hands far to easily. -------------------- I say never be complete. I say stop being perfect. I say let's evolve. Let the chips fall where they may. Posts: 1277 | Registered: Sunday, December 9 2001 08:00 |
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Shock Trooper
Member # 18
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written Friday, October 24 2003 06:42
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Hehehe. Sounds like someone's had past experience! GO TQ! Get your man! Md. Posts: 304 | Registered: Monday, October 1 2001 07:00 |
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Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Member # 919
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written Friday, October 24 2003 16:53
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Hah, yeah, good luck. Not that luck has anything to do with it, but... yeah... it's just something people say. Anyway, although I'm positive I have less experience, I'd say there's nothing wrong with a letter. I find it much easier to express myself in a letter or an email than talking face-to-face; it's much easier to make a mistake when you talk directly, rather than writing a letter, which you can think about in advance and everything. -------------------- And though the musicians would die, the music would live on in the imaginations of all who heard it. -The Last Pendragon TEH CONSPIRACY IZ ALL Les forum de la chance. Incaseofemergency,breakglass. Posts: 3351 | Registered: Saturday, April 6 2002 08:00 |
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