What if Batman and Captain America Fought?
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| Author | Topic: What if Batman and Captain America Fought? |
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Infiltrator
Member # 4592
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written Saturday, July 10 2004 23:16
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(I may be too new to start an asinine, dumb and not even worth it for eight-years-old topic, but here it goes) If Batman and Captain America had a fight who would win? If that's not good enough, how about: Terence Mallick vs. J.D. Salinger. Or, Hiram the Fly vs. Atom Ant. Or, Ash vs. Whoever! Or, Heisenberg vs. Murphy Or, Shrodinger's Cat vs. The Atomic Cow. Or, Ricky Martin vs. Enrique Iglesias in a rotten jelly competition. Or, a handful of dust vs. a fitful of rye Or, Flaming Carrot vs. the entire multiverse. Or, Christina Aguilera vs. Britney Spears in a sack race over the Gobi desert. -------------------- quote:Random Jack Vance Quote Manual Generator Apparatus (Cugel's Saga) Posts: 604 | Registered: Sunday, June 20 2004 07:00 |
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Warrior
Member # 37
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written Sunday, July 11 2004 10:38
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quote:I'd pay to see that. ;¬.¬ -------------------- {Tempus} jack thompson? ppl actually admire that freak? {@Fanateeq72802} Not everyone disagrees with him. {+iris} Someone should send him a few of the more steamy Japanese dating sim games. His head would explode. {@Fanateeq72802} And I'd laugh. Hard. {Tempus} im on it. brb Posts: 179 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00 |
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Guardian
Member # 2238
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written Sunday, July 11 2004 10:53
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Christina would win because she's already hot. But Batman vs. Captain America would never happen. They are both good-hearted USAers with similar values. The very thought of a civil war is impossible! Impossible I tell you! But again, Christina and Britney... now that's feasible. -------------------- The critics agree! Demonslayer is "a five star hit!" raves TIMES Weekly! "I've never heard such thoughtful comments. This man is a genious!" says two-time Nobel Prize winning physicist Erwin Rasputin! Posts: 1582 | Registered: Wednesday, November 13 2002 08:00 |
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Warrior
Member # 4631
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written Sunday, July 11 2004 11:25
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Cheney Vs. Leahy! For real this time! -------------------- "'I saw the duckling hatch and disappear. Sadly I ask who may have taken it.'" Posts: 67 | Registered: Monday, June 28 2004 07:00 |
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BANNED
Member # 3688
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written Monday, July 12 2004 13:22
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Batman and Captain America did fight (DC versus Marvel #3), it was a poor fight, but Batman ended up winning (he's cooler anyways). Batman and Daredevil would be cool though, they would be pretty even I would think. Posts: 23 | Registered: Friday, November 14 2003 08:00 |
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By Committee
Member # 4233
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written Monday, July 12 2004 13:31
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Batman all the way. Two words: Utility Belt. Posts: 2242 | Registered: Saturday, April 10 2004 07:00 |
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Guardian
Member # 2238
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written Monday, July 12 2004 14:08
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Batman beat up Captain America?! What is he a communist now? And why the hell would two super HEROS be fighting anyway? On the subject... the Alien vs Predator movie is going to 0wn j00, f001! -------------------- The critics agree! Demonslayer is "a five star hit!" raves TIMES Weekly! "I've never heard such thoughtful comments. This man is a genious!" says two-time Nobel Prize winning physicist Erwin Rasputin! Posts: 1582 | Registered: Wednesday, November 13 2002 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 2242
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written Monday, July 12 2004 17:01
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From what I hear, the stories dumb. Most of us humans are gone, replaced by robots, and the battle is in a giant pyramid in Antartica. Alien vs. Predator could be the lamest movie in theatures this year. -------------------- "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes back into you." -Friedrich Nietzsche "There is no dodging the quad laser." -Ignignok Posts: 469 | Registered: Thursday, November 14 2002 08:00 |
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BANNED
Member # 3688
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written Monday, July 12 2004 19:41
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quote:He's probably a small "c" commie like me. Anyways, Marvel tended to have heroes fight each other all the time, it seemed like just for the hell of it. DC, not so much. But the lame story for Marvel Vs. DC which had them fighting was that two brothers were each universe and they were rivals so they wanted people from their respective universes to fight each other. Pretty weak, no? Posts: 23 | Registered: Friday, November 14 2003 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 1877
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written Tuesday, July 13 2004 01:14
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Yeah, pretty weak, reminds me of how weak the Farcry story is. But its still fun, and bea-ti-ful... Last episode of Marvel Vs. DC that I saw Spiderman and Superman fought just for the hell of it; "Superman! You!", "Yes! This is the end of the road for you, bug!". Big fun... Oh, and I gladly see Ash beaten up by The Hulk. ^______^ [ Tuesday, July 13, 2004 01:17: Message edited by: Dawn of Victory ] -------------------- 33111-CRUSADER-4849 Posts: 662 | Registered: Friday, September 13 2002 07:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 4248
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written Tuesday, July 13 2004 09:26
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What about pancake VS. hotdog? Or Hulk VS. broken toaster? Just being dumb here.... :) -------------------- Somebody PLEASE turn the heat on. Posts: 617 | Registered: Tuesday, April 13 2004 07:00 |
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Shock Trooper
Member # 3719
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written Tuesday, July 13 2004 10:17
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Yeah, Batman would have to win, he's got the utility belt and Robin helping :) -------------------- Scandalous Stories, fishing,and great photos Posts: 294 | Registered: Monday, November 24 2003 08:00 |
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Warrior
Member # 4631
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written Tuesday, July 13 2004 15:25
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Gick. With Robin around, it's a wonder how Batman ever got anything done. -------------------- "'I saw the duckling hatch and disappear. Sadly I ask who may have taken it.'" Posts: 67 | Registered: Monday, June 28 2004 07:00 |
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Guardian
Member # 2238
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written Wednesday, July 14 2004 06:25
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Just curious... exactly what ARE Captain America's power? Freedom? -------------------- The critics agree! Demonslayer is "a five star hit!" raves TIMES Weekly! "I've never heard such thoughtful comments. This man is a genious!" says two-time Nobel Prize winning physicist Erwin Rasputin! Posts: 1582 | Registered: Wednesday, November 13 2002 08:00 |
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BANNED
Member # 3688
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written Wednesday, July 14 2004 06:40
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In DC vs. Marvel, instead of helping Batman, Robin decides to tie up Jubilee. Personally, I would beat the snot out of that boy. Posts: 23 | Registered: Friday, November 14 2003 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 4592
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written Wednesday, July 14 2004 07:58
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Captain America: Steve Rogers was subjected to some experimental drugs way back during WWII so he is very strong, agile, and so on. Not to mention that nifty shield and his heroic will to never, ever, give up. The man is relentless. I remember that Marvel vs. DC series. . . that was so lame. I don't recall if there was any good fight. I've no idea why Super Heroes ever fight each other. As it was pointed out, Marvel likes to do it, I think it's just a matter of getting more people to buy some title by putting some famous hero in it. First they fight. Then they team against some bad guy. I think Batman would win even w/o the utility belt. Cap is stronger. They are both relentless. And I think Batman is meaner and smarter than Cap. But it's a close call. Hulk vs Broken Toaster. . .? Broken Toaster. Imagine: Hulk steps on it, goes OUCH with pain and starts jumping willy-nilly, crashes against a mountain and is buried underneath. Hmmm. Maybe not. Pancake vs. Hot Dog. Tough. The pancake is slippery with the jello on it, the hot dog, on the other hand, can divide into bum and sausage and even throw the tiny french fries thingies with incredible speed, though the pancake would just absorb them and throw them back. I doubt being hit with a sausage would bother the pancake too much, it can just cushion the blows. Hmmm. Tough indeed. Cheers! -------------------- quote:Random Jack Vance Quote Manual Generator Apparatus (Cugel's Saga) Posts: 604 | Registered: Sunday, June 20 2004 07:00 |
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Agent
Member # 618
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written Thursday, July 15 2004 02:40
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You have jelly on your pancakes??!?!? Gotta try that some time. -------------------- Aut Tace Aut Loquere Meliora Silencio Posts: 1487 | Registered: Sunday, February 10 2002 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 4248
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written Thursday, July 15 2004 06:31
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Somebody took my suggestion seriously! Yippee! :P -------------------- Somebody PLEASE turn the heat on. Posts: 617 | Registered: Tuesday, April 13 2004 07:00 |
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Agent
Member # 2820
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written Friday, July 16 2004 19:07
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Captain America because he has that shield. He is the greater HERO because Batman is very multi-faceted; darkness and using intimidation/blackmail, that kind of thing. Captain America is strong through actual enhancement, while Batman just trained really, really hard. But Bruce Wayne would win against Captain America because he'd have enough money to, well do stuff. Idea: Carrot Top vs. Richard Simmons -------------------- What do I put here? -Garrison Posts: 1415 | Registered: Thursday, March 27 2003 08:00 |
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Agent
Member # 618
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written Saturday, July 17 2004 03:30
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How about Chris Evans and Michael Portillo? I would say Noel Gallagher or Russell Crowe against the Scandinavian Mafias, but oh wait! Those already happened! -------------------- Aut Tace Aut Loquere Meliora Silencio Posts: 1487 | Registered: Sunday, February 10 2002 08:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 4592
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written Saturday, July 17 2004 10:55
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Carrot Top vs. Richard Simmons: Well, RS is sprightly. If it is the robot RS from the Simpsons, that would win, and may the gods have mercy on us all. If Carrot Top has a flaming carrot top like the Flaiming Carrot, then CT because it will use its eternal fire to burn the robot RS or even easier the meat RS to smithereens. Again, since they are both forces of immortal and invencible evil, their fight will never end and if that would ever happen, human race as we know it will cease to exist as their confrontation would bring the world to a cinder. Only a small group of people would survive, somewhere in siberia, and eventually, they would create an Anti-Richar Simmons Anti Carrot Top weapon that would eradicate them, thus bringing a new age to humanity, and we may hope, a better world than this one. Michael Portillo vs. Chris Evans. Well Evans is younger, but Portillo is not only British but of Spanish descendancy, so the man can flamenco Evans to the point that Evans's bones are nothing but dust and a bad memory and he will do this while he sings God Save the Queen together with the Spanish Hymn and somehow conjures Flamenco Dancing Hooligans and, well, poor Evans. On the other hand, unfortunately, Evans will be the Human Torch (Fantastic Four the movie will SUCK! NO DOOM, instead some schmuch New York millionaire named something like Van Zant, PLEASE!) and that kind of takes care or Portillo. Ghallagher/Crowe vs. The Scandinavian Mafia. Easy. The latter. No one can defeat the Scandinavian Mafia, except for: The Spanish Inquisition and the Church, or the Police, or the Church-Police. -------------------- quote:Random Jack Vance Quote Manual Generator Apparatus (Cugel's Saga) Posts: 604 | Registered: Sunday, June 20 2004 07:00 |
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Agent
Member # 618
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written Saturday, July 17 2004 16:35
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Actually that was the whole point. Both Gallagher and Crowe both managed to start fights with members of the Scan mafia, resulting in Gallagher wishing for his two front teeth and Crowe goin' home for Christmas. -------------------- Aut Tace Aut Loquere Meliora Silencio Posts: 1487 | Registered: Sunday, February 10 2002 08:00 |
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Warrior
Member # 4537
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written Saturday, July 17 2004 18:38
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Okay, how about... Mike Nelson vs Joel Robinson? Tom Servo vs Crow? Me vs Seppuku Boy vs Godzilla? The entire Andurusian nation and Avernum teamed up vs...Mr. T?! Seppuku Boy vs Domon Kasshu vs Godzilla vs Mr. T vs Tom Servo and Crow vs me?! *Falls over panting* Gah... =@.@= Almost forgot...Warren Robinett and his famous dragon-duck-seahorses versus the Spidweb populace and The Smurfs? =^.^= [ Saturday, July 17, 2004 18:42: Message edited by: Whyte Shadow ] -------------------- Digital Neko - more nekojin per capita than you can beat senseless! Now featuring all-new subdomain! Vote Richter! Belmont in 2004! Posts: 147 | Registered: Sunday, June 13 2004 07:00 |
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Infiltrator
Member # 4592
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written Sunday, July 18 2004 10:31
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Whyte Shadow, I shall try to resolve those fights. (ouch) 1) Joel Robinson. Because he was there first, his humor was funnier, he escaped before their adventures ended, thus proving he was smarter than the dr. forester and TV's frank, and because his commentaries (as well as the robots) of the movies were cooler than what came next. Also, he was lucky and resourceful enough enough to escape the future inequities of Mom! Oh, and all that's btw, btw. Because Joel can invent anything with a whatever is close to him to beat the willy wankas out of Mike. Dat iz dat. 2) Well. Tom Servo can throw candies at Crow. The other may duck many of them, but not eternally, but Tom, if he wishes to, can go on and on and on doing that until the end of time. On the other hand, Crow has a big mouth and can decapitate Tom with it if he tries hard enough. 3) (If Seppuku Boy is a character with pre-set abilities, I apologize for ignoring them (couldn't find a reference to him)) Whyte Shadow: I don't know your super-powers, so I'll take some liberties. Seppuku Boy can not only erase his existence in any way shape and form of his choosing, but he can do the same to others. Godzilla may be a bad-ass and as big as they come, but no match for SB's imparted-unto-others suicide abilities! Me (that is You, that is Whyte Shadow) as you come from the not to distant future, you can forsee what's gonna happen and rally all the Andurusians in your favor to stop SB from any trick he may against Me (that is You) 3) Mr T should win. Definitelly. How is inconsequential. Why is even more so. He is Mr T. More is redundant less is implied. Period. 4) Heck. This is as close to a Crisis on Infinite Earths as we've gotten (and we still can go further!) or as close to a sluggfest between the Super Friends and the Legion of Doom. Who can tell who will win? Who knows all the nicks and crannies that are involved in such a complex battle? Each of these great warriors pitted against each other. . . I give up. I'll post something later. Gasp. 5) Warren Robinet. Because he was the first, doggone it. Because he changed the landscape when no one else had dared. Because he was the pioneer who broke the paradigm of arcade action games. And because he was the first one to be cool enough to include a Easter Egg. On the other hand those Smurfs were darned cute! And. . . you know the Spidweb Populace will just beat WR through sheer force of numbers, wit, creativity, etc. This should be a good fight. I have to think. Help! -------------------- quote:Random Jack Vance Quote Manual Generator Apparatus (Cugel's Saga) Posts: 604 | Registered: Sunday, June 20 2004 07:00 |
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Agent
Member # 2210
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written Monday, July 19 2004 15:44
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Captain America is not very smart. He is a super soldier. He is stronger and faster than batman. However, to put it mildly batman is much better trained in fighting than Cap-- Jujitsu, Wrestling, Fencing, Boxing, Weightlifting. He also has been around a lot longer than Cap, so he knows how to fight a lot better than Cap. All cap does is punch people and wrestle. If it was a standup fight bright lights in an open area cap might have a chance. But if it is a dark night or they are in a maze batman would blindside cap and it would be over. As far as Caps shield is concerned, Batmans cape is as much a weapon as Caps shield. Yes, there is such a thing as a cape fighting... using a cape to entangle, choke, mislead... Plus batman has all those toys. -------------------- Wasting your time and mine looking for a good laugh. Star Bright, Star Light, Oh I Wish I May, I Wish Might, Wish For One Star Tonight. Posts: 1084 | Registered: Thursday, November 7 2002 08:00 |
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