Spiderweb: The Motion Picture
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Raven v. Writing Desk
Member # 261
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written Monday, April 9 2007 04:51
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SEATTLE, Wash., April 9, 2007 — Notorious satirist Slartifer M. Tuckersworth today revealed his much-speculated upon current project to be Spiderweb: The Motion Picture, a fictionalized documentary chronicling the lives of some 60-odd members of an internet bulletin board. "When I saw how these people lived, the passion and pathos with which they respond to totally mundane events, I knew I had to tell their story," Slarty said. Originally planned as an adaptation of several scripts written by the mononymous Dikiyoba, Slarty soon scrapped the idea and began writing the film from the ground-up. "I didn't want to make a crummy live action version of great writing," he said. Although the two works share plot elements such as the Noob War and the Thing, they are not the central focus of Spiderweb. "I wanted to capture the little things -- the spam, the puns, the hissy fits thrown over chat logs. The human moments we can all relate to." During its development, the film was prominently featured in several tabloids due to the fighting between Slarty and its casting director, known as Synergy. "Slarty would hand out roles without consulting me," Synergy said. "If I argued, he'd throw his desk at me. But that's what you put up with when you work with an artist." Slarty's original script reportedly contained nearly a hundred roles, but that number was reduced to 62 due to budgetary constraints. Nonetheless, the film features an ensemble cast so extensive, and so experienced, that it makes Lord of the Rings look like Catwoman. According to Slarty's production company, Facepalm Films, Spiderweb is scheduled for release after the Pygmalion project and before Rhapsody in Blue. (The following JPGs are about 350k each.) Spiderweb: The Motion Picture Cast List -- Page 1 Spiderweb: The Motion Picture Cast List -- Page 2 Spiderweb: The Motion Picture Cast List -- Page 3 Spiderweb: The Motion Picture Cast List -- Page 4 [ Monday, April 09, 2007 04:51: Message edited by: Slartematographer ] -------------------- Slarty vs. Desk • Desk vs. Slarty • Timeline of Ermarian • G4 Strategy Central Posts: 3560 | Registered: Wednesday, November 7 2001 08:00 |
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His Mighty Tentacle
Member # 627
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written Monday, April 9 2007 05:07
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:confused: How strange... -------------------- If I could make just one wish, I would want a tasty vlish. Geneforge IV. Still no tasty vlish. Posts: 1104 | Registered: Tuesday, February 12 2002 08:00 |
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...b10010b...
Member # 869
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written Monday, April 9 2007 05:20
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I have to say, I'd always imagined that if I were ever to appear in a film my role would be played by Hugh Grant. The casting decision actually made rather baffles me. Julie Andrews as Saunders was an inspired choice, though. [ Monday, April 09, 2007 05:23: Message edited by: Thuryl ] -------------------- The Empire Always Loses: This Time For Sure! Posts: 9973 | Registered: Saturday, March 30 2002 08:00 |
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Guardian
Member # 5360
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written Monday, April 9 2007 05:22
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Yay! Nalyd got David Spade!  -------------------- May the fires of Undeath burn in your soul, and consume it. Posts: 1636 | Registered: Wednesday, January 5 2005 08:00 |
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Master
Member # 5977
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written Monday, April 9 2007 05:29
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Never heard of "carrot top," so I did a search: Yep, the hair fits, and nice of you to make me a comedian. Does that mean that my jokes are considered funny from time to time in this place? Anyway, very, very nice Slarty. Laughed my head off. It's quite amazing that most of the members here I actually picture just as the actors you chose, like Aran, Nicothodes and some others. [ Monday, April 09, 2007 05:34: Message edited by: Thralni ] -------------------- Play and rate my scenarios: Where the rivers meet View my upcoming scenario: The Nephil Search: Escape. Give us your drek! Posts: 3029 | Registered: Saturday, June 18 2005 07:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 73
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written Monday, April 9 2007 05:44
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quote:Probably not, because nobody thinks Carrot Top is funny. He's just annoying. (I'm not saying you're annoying though. I didn't make the cast list.) Am I on there anywhere? I can't be bothered to look myself. -------------------- My Myspace, with some of my audial and visual art The Lyceum - The Headquarters of the Blades designing community The Louvre - The Blades of Avernum graphics database Alexandria - The Blades of Exile Scenario database BoE Webring - Self explanatory Polaris - Free porn here Odd Todd - Fun for the unemployed (and everyone else too) They Might Be Giants - Four websites for one of the greatest bands in existance -------------------- 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Posts: 2957 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00 |
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Agent
Member # 3364
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written Monday, April 9 2007 05:48
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I whole heartedly object! Obviously, I should play myself and Wil Wheaton should be cast as my husband. ;) Seriously though, I am not as deluded as to believe he could pull it off. He's just not... motherly enough. And while I personally have often proclaimed Danny DeVito lovable, I highly doubt Wil could believably smother him with love. (That's deffinition 4a of 9 that the English language gives it in the Merriam-Webster dictionary online. I know some of you struggle with the concept. :P ) -------------------- "Even the worst Terror from Hell can be transformed to a testimony from Heaven!" - Rev. David Wood 6\23\05 "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." - John Wesley Posts: 1001 | Registered: Tuesday, August 19 2003 07:00 |
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His Mighty Tentacle
Member # 627
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written Monday, April 9 2007 05:49
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How does one cast a floating brain munching squid anyway? "You're a squid... Your motivation is world domination and brains. You're also delicious." [ Monday, April 09, 2007 05:56: Message edited by: Delicious Vlish ] -------------------- If I could make just one wish, I would want a tasty vlish. Geneforge IV. Still no tasty vlish. Posts: 1104 | Registered: Tuesday, February 12 2002 08:00 |
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Agent
Member # 3364
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written Monday, April 9 2007 05:54
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quote:You are Don Adams. -------------------- "Even the worst Terror from Hell can be transformed to a testimony from Heaven!" - Rev. David Wood 6\23\05 "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." - John Wesley Posts: 1001 | Registered: Tuesday, August 19 2003 07:00 |
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Warrior
Member # 7254
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written Monday, April 9 2007 06:05
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Someone forgot to include Rosy. :( Posts: 73 | Registered: Monday, June 26 2006 07:00 |
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Cartographer
Member # 1851
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written Monday, April 9 2007 06:06
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Hmm, that's.. interesting. I'm a little horrified at the thought of.. but.. I think I'll flee from this topic now. :\ Very inspired though, nice. -------------------- "I'm not crazy!" "Well, whatever. Maybe you just ate something really questionable, or perhaps someone hit you on the head with something large, blunt and heavy just now. By the way..." Gil nudged Grul pointedly. Ooh! Homepage - Blog - Geneforge, +2, +3 - My Elfwood Gallery and DevArt page So many strange ones around. Don't you think? Posts: 1308 | Registered: Sunday, September 8 2002 07:00 |
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Councilor
Member # 6600
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written Monday, April 9 2007 06:53
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Dikiyoba doesn't know enough about actors and actresses to truly understand the exact reasoning behind most of them, but it's hilarious. Good to see lots of newer faces, too. Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00 |
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Law Bringer
Member # 4153
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written Monday, April 9 2007 07:43
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quote:Seconded. And I kinda like my casting. Thralni's is eerily fitting, I can't be sure why. This reminds me... I feel like we're due for a photo thread... or maybe it's just because I got my hair drastically cut today. EDIT: I object to arghhhhhhhhh's casting. Robin Williams is actually funny. Arghhhhhhhhh is just sad. [ Monday, April 09, 2007 07:47: Message edited by: Ephesos ] -------------------- Gamble with Gaea, and she eats your dice. I hate undead. I really, really, really, really hate undead. With a passion. Posts: 4130 | Registered: Friday, March 26 2004 08:00 |
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Agent
Member # 8030
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written Monday, April 9 2007 07:44
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Shelley Long? I happen to be a male Slarty, but at least I didn't get portrayed by Michael Jackson. The only thing I tought was funny is I.F.M.'s actor. I'm still baffled by being put with Shelley Long; as said previously, I'm a male, and I don't see how I'm similar to a Brady Bunch character. :confused: -------------------- WWJD? Posts: 1384 | Registered: Tuesday, February 6 2007 08:00 |
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Raven v. Writing Desk
Member # 261
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written Monday, April 9 2007 07:49
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I was pretty flexible with gender on this thing. There are a number of people whose genders are bent. As for Shelley Long: being a replacement Brady Bunch actress is definitely not what she's best known for. -------------------- Slarty vs. Desk • Desk vs. Slarty • Timeline of Ermarian • G4 Strategy Central Posts: 3560 | Registered: Wednesday, November 7 2001 08:00 |
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Master
Member # 5977
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written Monday, April 9 2007 08:01
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quote:Meh, somebody likes him. Otherwise I wouldn't know why people go to his live shows in Vegas. I don't know him, so I can't say. -------------------- Play and rate my scenarios: Where the rivers meet View my upcoming scenario: The Nephil Search: Escape. Give us your drek! Posts: 3029 | Registered: Saturday, June 18 2005 07:00 |
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? Man, ? Amazing
Member # 5755
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written Monday, April 9 2007 08:32
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I like my casting. A pretty boy that can't act to save his life, whose best role was in Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang as the dapper Gay Perry. I'm almost surprised that Morton Downey Jr wasn't cast. Also, no John Cusack? Shame. -------------------- quote: Posts: 4114 | Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00 |
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Guardian
Member # 6670
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written Monday, April 9 2007 08:42
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I take it that Rick Moranis was unable to play the part? ;) --------------------  Posts: 1509 | Registered: Tuesday, January 10 2006 08:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 3442
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written Monday, April 9 2007 08:50
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I'm disappointed I am not being played by James Dean or Greta Garbo. But I can live with River Phoenix. Barely :P -------------------- And when you want to Live How do you start? Where do you go? Who do you need to know? *Name by Slarty Posts: 2864 | Registered: Monday, September 8 2003 07:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 6292
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written Monday, April 9 2007 09:55
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We, Martha "Don't Mess With Me" Stewart, and Slaves—er, Associates, would like to remind our cast that they were each fastidiously selected for their roles for deeply significant reasons and with the utmost of regard for relevance, as well as aesthetic harmony and general usefulness around the house. It is up to you to ponder and deduce the brilliant reasoning behind your role. Consider it a mental exercise to hone your little actor minds. God knows you could all use it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I simply must dash off to sell some stock. That is all. -M- -------------------- A4 Item Locations A4 Singleton G4 Items List G4 Forging List The Insidious Infiltrator Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 73
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written Monday, April 9 2007 10:09
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quote:Good enough for me. -------------------- My Myspace, with some of my audial and visual art The Lyceum - The Headquarters of the Blades designing community The Louvre - The Blades of Avernum graphics database Alexandria - The Blades of Exile Scenario database BoE Webring - Self explanatory Polaris - Free porn here Odd Todd - Fun for the unemployed (and everyone else too) They Might Be Giants - Four websites for one of the greatest bands in existance -------------------- 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Posts: 2957 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00 |
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Apprentice
Member # 8406
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written Monday, April 9 2007 10:44
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womp womp. Posts: 47 | Registered: Thursday, March 29 2007 07:00 |
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Shaper
Member # 7420
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written Monday, April 9 2007 11:18
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*Bites Sausage* -------------------- You lose. Posts: 2156 | Registered: Thursday, August 24 2006 07:00 |
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Lifecrafter
Member # 6700
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written Monday, April 9 2007 12:13
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The irony of having Robert Englund cast as myself is that "V" is one of my all-time favorite miniseries... and who doesn't like Freddy Kreuger? So I get the best of both worlds. -------------------- The Silent Assassin has suddenly randomly become unavailable for comment. While I am quite confident that the chainsaw has yet to be repared, I am slightly worried at the sudden noteable lack of sofa and chair cushions throughout the bunker... -------------------- -Lenar Labs What's Your Destiny? Ushmushmeifa: Lenar's power is almighty and ineffable. All hail lord Noric, god of... well, something important, I'm sure. Posts: 735 | Registered: Monday, January 16 2006 08:00 |
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Agent
Member # 4574
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written Monday, April 9 2007 12:35
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Holy crap! I'm in there! Even though I've only been posting sporadically, I'm in there!... as someone I've never heard of. *Googles* Interesting -------------------- All praise the greatest mod of all time! Long live Master Aran! Posts: 1186 | Registered: Friday, June 18 2004 07:00 |
