Spam Poetry

AuthorTopic: Spam Poetry
Lifecrafter
Member # 34
Profile Homepage #0
I was leafing through some e-mails the other day and noticed this work of art:

"Only whirled snow heaped up by whirled snow,
Homeward into the howling woods, although
Want anything said at all, which I still doubt)
Dismal, endless plain—
Two of us, Docteur and Madame Machin, who stand
Covering the land—
Event, the end of the painted road ends up
That this mud draws on the stone."

––Christean Darb

You know how in spam e-mails these days, the trolls who wrote the stuff put in random cut-n-paste text at the end of each message? Through some flaw in the system, all this random jargon makes it possible for a bit of the junk to pass through the filters. This phenomenon yields some strangely profound-sounding, if not entirely logical, stuff that really closely resembles some spiffy contemporary poetry. Another one:

"the redeyed power.
For seeing his own face, Umphal will flee -
is thatoffer them.

But his passion was exploration of the secrets of
realized that that voice had not used the lisping
speech of Koonga,the slightest sound which might
reveal I did have a listener. I could

insignia of Cargo Master on the collar. "Keep your hands in plain
my back to their flames I saw only more
corridor,
unbroken,
shadows
atone way or another.
My father was dead when I came to him, and dead by

my back to their flames I saw only more
corridor,
unbroken,
shadows at
from Ustle during the next five planet years."

——An online college degree e-mail

Then we get into some short prose:

"Something to do withthose below, trusting to the strength in my fingers and wrists, I
first asking an opinion of it - its value, age, nature. Gems were a stickiness as they passed. I had the laser in my right hand. It might box of a room and the laser beam touched upon an unlighted torch in..."


Followed by a beautiful work found in an e-mail advertising some stock on the NYSE:

"rose like a stem, from which quivered some narrow pods,
more flat than down and began to saw away at the obstructions.
Eet was there, his gone, that I had stumbled on traces of one of the
Forerunner races,
as a guide.
But as for me I could see no goal in this wilderness. We, the corner formed by the branched part,
a screen of drift piled notdarkness advanced. Perhaps the dusk
really was due to the passage of opening.
There were things which might be flowers,
wide of petal, with or glutinous mud.
Yet I clung to the suit, unwieldy as it was for such..."


Anyone else have any contributions for the Coffe House of Creative Spam?

[ Friday, March 09, 2007 19:19: Message edited by: Robinator is a Beefcake ]

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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

'Spiderweb Software' anagrammmed: 'Word-bereft A**wipe'
Posts: 702 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
Off With Their Heads
Member # 4045
Profile Homepage #1
Wow. Some of those are quite good. Beats the ads for enhancements that tend to clutter up my mailbox.

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Kelandon's Pink and Pretty Page!!: the authorized location for all things by me
The Archive of all released BoE scenarios ever
Posts: 7968 | Registered: Saturday, February 28 2004 08:00
? Man, ? Amazing
Member # 5755
Profile #2
quote:
Originally scribed by Kelandon:
Wow. Some of those are quite good. Beats the ads for enhancements that tend to clutter up my mailbox.
Huh. I never get those. It must be focused spamming.
:P

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quote:
Originally written by Kelandon:

Well, I'm at least pretty sure that Salmon is losing.


Posts: 4114 | Registered: Monday, April 25 2005 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #3
quote:
Must be focused spamming.
Having a TM moment, are we?

I use Gmail and therefore can't contribute to this topic.

But I do have something I posted on Shadowvale some weeks ago.

quote:
i see you on the forum are very interesiting in making
the music and

here you now learn play
the pipe

FREE!

pipe learn piper pied piper learn play piper


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Guardian
Member # 2080
Profile #4
I'd contribute too, but I, one, have never in the history of my existance contributed anything useful to these forums and, two, only recieve spam mail from myspace(which is evil, evil I say, EVIL!!!! or something like that.) from people trying to get me to pay them money for porn. I could post some of what that stuff says, but it's not really appropriate.

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"I don't understand a word you just said. Try speaking American. It's the only language I understand."
Posts: 1918 | Registered: Sunday, October 13 2002 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 4153
Profile Homepage #5
Most of my spam that doesn't get caught in filters has passages from Harry Potter pasted into the message somewhere. I wouldn't exactly call it poetry, and I wouldn't even call it clever.

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Gamble with Gaea, and she eats your dice.

I hate undead. I really, really, really, really hate undead. With a passion.
Posts: 4130 | Registered: Friday, March 26 2004 08:00
Guardian
Member # 6670
Profile Homepage #6
There is something horrendously wrong with finding spam poetry attractive.

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Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
- Steven Wright
Posts: 1509 | Registered: Tuesday, January 10 2006 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 335
Profile Homepage #7
Rage polar bear inside demon living with tabloid and cyprus mulch...

—Alorael, who now realizes that he has left yet another duty undone. Back to work and pestering and crypticness!
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
Agent
Member # 8030
Profile Homepage #8
Using poetry to spam people, how intelligent. I bet you they'll have songs (with actual audio) to attempt enticing people.

"In the town where I was born
Lived a man who..."

Filters are nice, but a lot of times they label e-mail from my relatives as spam.

[ Saturday, March 10, 2007 12:21: Message edited by: Excalibur ]

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WWJD?
Posts: 1384 | Registered: Tuesday, February 6 2007 08:00
Infiltrator
Member # 6136
Profile #9
Uhhh I had never received something so creative as spam, just the dull "buy Viagra" and "Rolex perfect replicas" stuff...
Posts: 446 | Registered: Friday, July 22 2005 07:00
Councilor
Member # 6600
Profile Homepage #10
I only get three or four boring spam e-mails a month, let alone the creative ones. But I can live with that, especially since I've finally stopped getting e-mails from random colleges who want me.

Originally by Excalibur:

quote:
Using poetry to spam people, how intelligent. I bet you they'll have songs (with actual audio) to attempt enticing people.
Dikiyoba was so very, very tempted to send you one of those just now. :P
Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #11
One of these? :P

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My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 335
Profile Homepage #12
There has been a sudden proliferation of talking banner ads, and I can now say with complete confidence that audible spam is even worse than visual spam.

—Alorael, who still hates those jumpy, psychadelic banner ads that declare you a winner, of course. They're just much easier to mentally filter out than a chipper, "Hi! You're already a winner if you sign over your house, your kidneys, and your soul!"
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 4682
Profile #13
Now bringing up spam poetry contests, there's the Wergle Flomp contest to expose them.

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Join the Dark side. We have cookies.

Played in:
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"Hey, Patrick, feel this random pipe. It's squishy"-Nils
Posts: 834 | Registered: Thursday, July 8 2004 07:00
Shaper
Member # 3442
Profile Homepage #14
quote:
Originally written by Dintiradan:

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
- Steven Wright

Steven Wright is a terrible, terrible man. (I do hope I have the right Steven Wright now...)

I don't get any spam except from "banks" offering me "money" if I give them my "details". Suffice to say if I did recieve spam poetry, and I liked it, I would claim it as my own.

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And when you want to Live
How do you start?
Where do you go?
Who do you need to know?


*Name by Slarty, so blame him if it's filthy...
Posts: 2864 | Registered: Monday, September 8 2003 07:00
Guardian
Member # 2080
Profile #15
If you're talking about that monotone comedian you're Wright... I'm going to hell for that one

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"I don't understand a word you just said. Try speaking American. It's the only language I understand."
Posts: 1918 | Registered: Sunday, October 13 2002 07:00
Apprentice
Member # 8229
Profile #16
The horrible thing about spam filters is that every once in a while I get some actual mail filtered, and the specific of my occupation simply doesnt allow the luxury...

Gotta add that the best thing about spam is just topics. I actually recieved the one labeled "Cheapest viagra" but inviting me to some stock investment inside. A clue to what it's worth, no less.

[ Sunday, March 11, 2007 12:57: Message edited by: Acidic Helixbolt ]

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"At ease, guys, it's just some nonsence green wingbolt..."
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Posts: 36 | Registered: Sunday, March 4 2007 08:00
Too Sexy for my Title
Member # 5654
Profile #17
quote:
Originally written by Kelandon:

Beats the ads for enhancements that tend to clutter up my mailbox.
Don't you use your school email address? I'd think Berkeley's spam filter would be better than that. And although you are quite the perverted type, I just don't think that'd be your focussed spam. Now if it were something related to a certain threshold :rolleyes:

Anyways. I just realized that I have way too many email addresses. A total of 5. Two hotmail accounts, One I use for work, credit cards, financial aid, etc. And another one to email my friends and go on msn (quite pointless, really). Then there's the school address my school imposed on me. Then there's a yahoo one for games, and a gmail one (which password I can't remember) that I got so a friend would stop bugging me. Strangely enough I barely get spam mail. It's usually something about winning the lotery, confirming a purchase I never made, horoscope, or something traveling related.
Posts: 1035 | Registered: Friday, April 1 2005 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #18
University spam filters unfortunately aren't all they're cracked up to be. The one on mine does catch a lot of it, but by far not as much as the one on my Gmail account.

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My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Guardian
Member # 6670
Profile Homepage #19
By Nikki:
quote:
Steven Wright is a terrible, terrible man.
Heretic.

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- Steven Wright
Posts: 1509 | Registered: Tuesday, January 10 2006 08:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 34
Profile Homepage #20
I'm sure they don't make the poetry on purpose, they just cut and paste random text. I've found Harry Potter too, and stuff that sounds like it came from the well-thumbed romance rack at the library.

Yay. 700 posts.

EDIT: Yay. 696 posts.

[ Monday, March 12, 2007 15:46: Message edited by: Robinator is a Beefcake ]

--------------------
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

'Spiderweb Software' anagrammmed: 'Word-bereft A**wipe'
Posts: 702 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00