What's your best joke?

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AuthorTopic: What's your best joke?
Lifecrafter
Member # 6388
Profile #50
Why did Hellen Keller learn to play the piano one-handed?
So she could sing at the same time.
Posts: 794 | Registered: Tuesday, October 11 2005 07:00
Electric Sheep One
Member # 3431
Profile #51
The iron was set to vibrate.

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We're not doing cool. We're doing pretty.
Posts: 3335 | Registered: Thursday, September 4 2003 07:00
La Canaliste
Member # 5563
Profile #52
Oh dear, Student: you have set me thinking of a whole series of unpostable ripostes... Meanie!

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I am a mater of time and how .

Deep down, you know you should have voted for Alcritas!
Posts: 387 | Registered: Tuesday, March 1 2005 08:00
BANNED
Member # 4
Profile Homepage #53
Abortion.

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Posts: 6936 | Registered: Tuesday, September 18 2001 07:00
Warrior
Member # 6076
Profile #54
Title Halo mishap
Marine: Oh no the scarab! we're gonna die!... Duty calls!
*runs to bathroom*
Marine: Uh sir? What do we do?
Sarge: Dang mechanical Zipper! shouldve never gotten it off Ebay!
Marine: It's comin right for us
Civilian: no it stepped on my ride!
*flood eats his head*
Sarge: AHHHH IT CUT MY THINGAMAJIGGER!!!
Marine: Are you okay in there?
Sarge: I'm fine how bout you! aaaaa soo much better!
*Scarab charges, profet of regret starts singing the mario remix, Sarge walks out of bathroom*
Sarge: What I Miss?
sfx: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
*Every one dies, Master chief stands on Samus's ship and takes off his helmet.... revealing the head of aunt jemima.*

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Naruto Fanatic (as well as gf) I was once Taggerung for those who don't know.
Real Ninjas are stealthy: CHOMP CHOMP!
Intelligent: Yoodleaheayea *Belch*
Inflatable: BOING!
Think they are hot: I'm too y for my shirt...
Posts: 54 | Registered: Wednesday, July 6 2005 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 335
Profile Homepage #55
Your joke is missing a critical element or two. Humor springs to mind. So does proofreading.

—Alorael, who freely confesses to total ignorance of all things Halo. He is willing to put money on Halo experts agreeing with his assessment anyway.
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
Mongolian Barbeque
Member # 1528
Profile #56
Why, I remember the days when "halo" meant a little circle of light above a saint's or angel's head. And now, apparently, there are three of them. I suppose you could call them a Trinity of Haloes. Not even St. Peter had that many.
Posts: 907 | Registered: Monday, July 15 2002 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 34
Profile Homepage #57
That was before the world of Play Station decided to turn halos into miles-wide weapons of galactic destruction, which probably isn't what St. Peter had in mind anyway. I'm not sure having one of those hovering over my head would get me into Heaven.

What did halos actually DO anyway? If I had one, would I be able to use it like a cupholder and stick drinks through it? Or would it just be a ring hanging over my head, banging into the wall above my head every time I walked through a doorway?

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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

'Spiderweb Software' anagrammmed: 'Word-bereft A**wipe'
Posts: 702 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
...b10010b...
Member # 869
Profile Homepage #58
Well, if you look at depictions of halos in traditional art, they don't really tend to be solid objects hovering above your head; the head just sort of glows. I suppose it'd be useful for lighting up dark places.

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The Empire Always Loses: This Time For Sure!
Posts: 9973 | Registered: Saturday, March 30 2002 08:00
Mongolian Barbeque
Member # 1528
Profile #59
I suppose you could drape it around you neck and wear it as a stylishly ethereal necklace.
Posts: 907 | Registered: Monday, July 15 2002 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #60
Probably the latest in heavenly fashion. :P

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Electric Sheep One
Member # 3431
Profile #61
Simply put, the people who think their frisbee game is "ultimate" have absolutely no idea.

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We're not doing cool. We're doing pretty.
Posts: 3335 | Registered: Thursday, September 4 2003 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 335
Profile Homepage #62
The lack of a covering makes it difficult to throw a flick, but the backhands are simply divine.

—Alorael, who has heard that office politics are also impeded by haloes. Butting heads becomes much more difficult.
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
Apprentice
Member # 313
Profile Homepage #63
So a jumper cable walks into the bar and the bartender says "OK you can drink, just dont start anything"

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finally, a superhero we can trust...
Posts: 37 | Registered: Saturday, November 24 2001 08:00
Warrior
Member # 3351
Profile #64
quote:
Originally written by Icshi:

Why, I remember the days when "halo" meant a little circle of light above a saint's or angel's head. And now, apparently, there are three of them. I suppose you could call them a Trinity of Haloes. Not even St. Peter had that many.
Maybe not him but, at least in France, Saint Catherine of Alexandria was said to have three.

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/Seawinds are calling
Posts: 187 | Registered: Thursday, August 14 2003 07:00
Mongolian Barbeque
Member # 1528
Profile #65
I guess that would make her the patron saint of haloes.
Posts: 907 | Registered: Monday, July 15 2002 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #66
Did she collect them, or something?

I wonder if haloes are the equivalent of a doctorate title. Perhaps you can be a saint honoris causa (St. h.c.)?
:D

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Canned
Member # 8014
Profile #67
I decided to bring the post back up here to show that the [insert dumb joke here] is basically here.
And you might as well read these jokes.

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I can transform into almost anything, though not sanity.
Muffins n' Hell. Note that revisions of the first part is down the list.

quote:
Originaly by Alorael
Okay, he's not that bad!

Posts: 1799 | Registered: Sunday, February 4 2007 08:00
Agent
Member # 1934
Profile Homepage #68
Gah! Necro!

And this is two years old. There's a reason it died.

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You acquire an item: Radio Free Foil
Posts: 1169 | Registered: Monday, September 23 2002 07:00
Shaper
Member # 6292
Profile #69
For thy unholy necromantic summoning, thou shalt surely be smited most woefully indeed.

-S-

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A4 Item Locations A4 Singleton G4 Items List G4 Forging List The Insidious Infiltrator
Posts: 2009 | Registered: Monday, September 12 2005 07:00
Shaper
Member # 7472
Profile Homepage #70
Muffin, you generally don't revive a topic unless there's a good reason to do so. Especially when said topic is over two years old.

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I tried to think of something witty to put here.

Needless to say, I failed.
Posts: 2686 | Registered: Friday, September 8 2006 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 335
Profile Homepage #71
Nothing to see here. Don't beat a dead topic.

—Alorael, who now has to do the unpleasant thing with the holy symbols, the pungent herbs, and the needle/ferrets to put the topic back in the bin of history. Thanks a lot.
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00

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