Other Authors in Exile

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AuthorTopic: Other Authors in Exile
Warrior
Member # 3124
Profile #0
Well, here is the premise: What if another author had written of Exile? Maybe Shakespeare, or Steinbeck, or even Dr Seuess...

As an idea here's Mickey Spillane...

I was in my office in Formello, yes the bad part of town is where I usually hang my hat. I had been out of luck for jobs lately and hitting the bottle a little too hard. Well, I had just poured a glass of ale when she walked in. Every bad story begins with a dame, why should this one be different? She had a red dress on and had legs to make a bishop lose his vows. I offered her a drink and offered her a seat.

"My name's Velma", she said in a soothing purr. "You might know me; I'm the mayor here." I didn't know but made a note to get more involved in politics in the future.

"What can I do for you?" I asked.

She shifted in her chair and said "My necklace, someone's stolen it. Can you help?"

It could be an interesting idea, if we get creative....

Tor: Do you like green eggs and ham?
Adventurers: We do not like green eggs and ham
We do not like them with a Slith, we do not like them with the Nephil. We do not like them Tor I Am.

I'll see if anyone takes up the idea...

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The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
Larry Hardiman
Posts: 110 | Registered: Thursday, June 19 2003 07:00
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Member # 919
Profile #1
AHHH I tried writing in the style of Zephyr, then Shakespeare, and I have concluded that I can't write in any style but my own. Oh well.

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And though the musicians would die, the music would live on in the imaginations of all who heard it.
-The Last Pendragon

TEH CONSPIRACY IZ ALL

Les forum de la chance.

In case of emergency, break glass.
Posts: 3351 | Registered: Saturday, April 6 2002 08:00
Shaper
Member # 496
Profile #2
Zephyr? Style???
Posts: 2333 | Registered: Monday, January 7 2002 08:00
Warrior
Member # 3124
Profile #3
Zephyr Style: After being convicted of spamming on the surface he was cast into Exile. Zephyr screams at the portal: "If you do not apologize right now I will keep on spamming! Do not close this portal, Drakey, until I get my answer." FB opens his bag of holding and checks its contents. Whoa! A starship with an FTL drive! He quickly fires up the starship, pulls the crew from the bag and takes off! Back on the surface FB pulls a flute from, well, a dark place and charms the Empire. They fall prostrate and worship this, this, .....

The alarm clock goes off. I am startled awake, what a nightmare. Gotta swear off the Jack

[ Tuesday, June 24, 2003 09:47: Message edited by: Flavius ]

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The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
Larry Hardiman
Posts: 110 | Registered: Thursday, June 19 2003 07:00
BANNED
Member # 3121
Profile Homepage #4
A 12-year-old-AOLer:

A 12-YAAR-OLD-AOL3R DREW HIS STEL DAGAR SN3AEKD BHIND DA EMPEROR AND CUT HIS THROAT!!!11 OMG WTF LOL GUARDS THR3W HIM THROUGH TEH TAL3PORT 2 EXIEL/AEVRNUM AND HE WAS UH DOWN THEYRE!1!11! WTF

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- WITH LOVE, THE OL' RELIABLE BOYLOVE, TO BE EXACT
Posts: 761 | Registered: Thursday, June 19 2003 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #5
Such parodies don't necessarily need to lack style :P . How about this: (That's based on the ballad of Eärendil the Mariner, in Lord of the Rings, if you want to know.)

Erika was a sorceress
That sorc'ried in Ermarian
The Empire was pissed of at her
And banished her to Avernum

Her power was beyond all thought
And so she wrought most mighty spells
To nourish life in deepest caves
And keep it save from utmost hells.

But as time passed, her mind did turn
To wrathful, churning thoughts of hate
For ere the wizards cast her down
They cursed her thus to seal her fate:

That ever, if the light of sun
Should touch upon her skin again
Demonic ire and blazing fire
Consume her in the instant then.

And so her fury smouldered fey
At seeing day for nevermore
And soon she plotted full of gall
The tyrant's fall and death through gore.

A party then - for thus they named
Adventurers in days of old -
Was beaméd up to Hawthorne's Fort
And killed the lord and got some gold.

And later, when the Avernites
Decided light of day was nice
The vahnatai wreaked havoc on
The surface out of pure despise.

So Erika went up herself
To aid the party in their plight
And battled Rentar-Ihrno there
But Rentar brought the deadly light

Into the caves, and on the spot
A blaze as hot as brightest star
Consumed the mighty sorceress,
The flammifer of Erika.

Bit crappy, but better than Zephyr's RPs ;) .

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"And all should cry, Beware, Beware!
His Flashing eyes, his Floating hair!" S. T. Coleridge
---
"It is as if everyone had lost their sense
Consigned themselves to downfall and decadence
And a wisp it is they have chosen as their beacon." Reinhard Mey.
---
Quote of the Week: "I have a high opinion of myself, which makes up for my total lack of intelligence." Anon.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Warrior
Member # 3124
Profile #6
Hey! Not bad at all! I liked that. That is the kind of creativity in spidweb players I thought would be here when I started this thread.

[ Tuesday, June 24, 2003 09:49: Message edited by: Flavius ]

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The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
Larry Hardiman
Posts: 110 | Registered: Thursday, June 19 2003 07:00
Agent
Member # 1169
Profile #7
I once wrote a song entitled "The Night Erika Went Crazy," blatantly ripped off from Weird Al. I'll see if I can find it; I think it's on my other computer.

Shakespearian Exile...now there's a thought...*ponders*

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"Man hands down misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, and don't have any kids yourself."--Philip Larkin, "This Be the Verse"

Fear the wrath of the Grammar Wench, lest ye be cut down by the Glistening Scythe.
Posts: 1150 | Registered: Friday, May 17 2002 07:00
Warrior
Member # 3124
Profile #8
I have been pondering a King James 1611 version of Exile...

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The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
Larry Hardiman
Posts: 110 | Registered: Thursday, June 19 2003 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #9
Sorry if this makes me sound uneducated/uncultivated, but who or what is King James 1611? :confused: Do you mean a kind of Middle English from 1611? :confused:

Oh, and about Shakespeare:

"Adrianna: Take this, thou feline knave!

*she casteth a Fireball*

Nephil: I am betrayed!
With fiendish sorc'ry hath this cruel witch
unseaméd me from the nave of my chops!

*he dieth*"
:D

[ Tuesday, June 24, 2003 10:56: Message edited by: Arancaytar ]

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"And all should cry, Beware, Beware!
His Flashing eyes, his Floating hair!" S. T. Coleridge
---
"It is as if everyone had lost their sense
Consigned themselves to downfall and decadence
And a wisp it is they have chosen as their beacon." Reinhard Mey.
---
Quote of the Week: "I have a high opinion of myself, which makes up for my total lack of intelligence." Anon.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Warrior
Member # 3124
Profile #10
King James 1611: The first mass produced bible in English (there were others in English but not as readily available to the common man). 1611 was the commission date from King James. Basically it is the bible you hear quoted with: thee, thou, the verbs end often in eth.

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The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
Larry Hardiman
Posts: 110 | Registered: Thursday, June 19 2003 07:00
Guardian
Member # 2080
Profile #11
Yeah, I know that book. It's the one where Adam did a lot of "knowing" to eve.

Anywayz, if I had not traded my creativity for a box of Lucky Charms(boy was I pissed to find out they weren't actually lucky. Oh well) I'd participate in this topic some.
Posts: 1918 | Registered: Sunday, October 13 2002 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #12
So basically, it's the same as Shakespeare without the rhymes and the scansion. ;) OMG, completely forgot, I think Shakespeare did live around then some time right? :rolleyes:

Oh, and I guess they can hardly put something more explicit than 'knowing' in there, can they? It's General Audience, remember. :P

[ Tuesday, June 24, 2003 13:30: Message edited by: Arancaytar ]

--------------------
"And all should cry, Beware, Beware!
His Flashing eyes, his Floating hair!" S. T. Coleridge
---
"It is as if everyone had lost their sense
Consigned themselves to downfall and decadence
And a wisp it is they have chosen as their beacon." Reinhard Mey.
---
Quote of the Week: "I have a high opinion of myself, which makes up for my total lack of intelligence." Anon.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Member # 919
Profile #13
Arancaytar is officially TEH BEST. Hmmm someone give me other suggestions of styles/parodies/whatevers I could try...

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And though the musicians would die, the music would live on in the imaginations of all who heard it.
-The Last Pendragon

TEH CONSPIRACY IZ ALL

Les forum de la chance.

In case of emergency, break glass.
Posts: 3351 | Registered: Saturday, April 6 2002 08:00
Guardian
Member # 2080
Profile #14
...And then Rentar raised her hand and a GIFTS appeared. Rentar quickly put her earplugs in, just before the GIFTS began to to speak. Suddenly Erika's head explodes. Kano Shinsu quickly covers his ears while casting a divine thud spell to slay the spider. However, before he can complete the spell, purple gremlins appear and show him a picture of Amanda Tapping without any clothing on. While Kano Shinsu is distracted by the picture, Rentar pushes him into a seemingly bottomless pit. Hinosu quickly lunges at Rentar, but misses and falls into the pit. Lone Flame, who is listening to GWAR, and thus immune to the effects of the GIFTS, blasts the gremlins with a Firestorm spell. Then Lone Flame pulls out ye holy brick and bashes Rentar in the head with it. Lone Flame then makes for the control panel, but is stopped by feminists who proceed to beat the hell out of him. With his fellow party members incapacitated, Mars rushes to the control panel and destroys Rentar's factory.

How's that for a sampling of Lone Flame's style mixed with Exile?

Now I think I'll wait to see if I get in trouble for the Amanda Tapping picture part.

EDIT: (darn typo demons)

[ Tuesday, June 24, 2003 12:14: Message edited by: Lone Flame ]
Posts: 1918 | Registered: Sunday, October 13 2002 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 335
Profile Homepage #15
And it came to pass in the 722 year that the members of the Party did go unto the portal, and they were transported the the darkest realms. And they were filled with fear and gave great cries of lamentation. But Tor said unto them: be not afraid, for the Lord will watch over you and I will give you gifts. And unto them did he deliver poorly made equipment, and the Party was thankful and gave great praises unto him. But he cautioned them: Do not worship idols, for such is the way of the sliths and nephils and verily shall they be smitten by the wrath of the Lord on the day of Adventurer Victory.

—Alorael, who interestingly came across the reference to the nephilim in the Bible. It's about two sentences, totally unclear, and not really worth reading. But surely it is a sign that Jeff has been divinely inspired!
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #16
Where? Where? Where's that reference? Quote it plzzz! :) Something with furry people or something?

--------------------
"And all should cry, Beware, Beware!
His Flashing eyes, his Floating hair!" S. T. Coleridge
---
"It is as if everyone had lost their sense
Consigned themselves to downfall and decadence
And a wisp it is they have chosen as their beacon." Reinhard Mey.
---
Quote of the Week: "I have a high opinion of myself, which makes up for my total lack of intelligence." Anon.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 335
Profile Homepage #17
Genesis 6:4

There were nephilim in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.

—Alorael, who can see nothing particulary furry or feline here. But you never know... this could be another nail in the coffin of vahnatai creationism.
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Member # 919
Profile #18
I believe the nephilim were idol-worshipping giants, but I could be wrong. What inspired Jeff to call a race of human-like cats the "nephilim", I do not know...

--------------------
And though the musicians would die, the music would live on in the imaginations of all who heard it.
-The Last Pendragon

TEH CONSPIRACY IZ ALL

Les forum de la chance.

In case of emergency, break glass.
Posts: 3351 | Registered: Saturday, April 6 2002 08:00
Infiltrator
Member # 2669
Profile Homepage #19
One of my favorite poets, e e cummings:

a-t-n-r-r-e

   who
a)s w(e loo)k
upnowgath
  ERRTAN
        eringfo(r-
The):t
  eL
     E!p
           Ort:
S a
 (r
rIvInG .nArTeR)
     to
rea(be)rran(com)gi(e)ngly
,RENTAR;
and slay us all.

[Based on r-p-o-p-h-e-s-s-a-g-r (grasshopper)]
EDIT: Cheers Churl!

[ Tuesday, June 24, 2003 17:04: Message edited by: RentBoy ]

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...
Posts: 647 | Registered: Wednesday, February 19 2003 08:00
Apprentice
Member # 3084
Profile #20
If Neal Stephenson played Exile or Avernum:

“The adventurer belongs to an elite order, a hallowed subcategory.  He’s got XP up to here.  Right now he's preparing to complete his third quest of the night.  His crystal plate is as clear as a Vahnatai sex toy, refracting the very light out of the air.  A crossbow bolt will bounce off its GIFTSfiber weave like an imp hitting a skill:80 door, but excess perspiration wafts through it like cave wind through a freshly quickfired mushroom field.  Where his body has bony extremities, the plate has ensorcelled mithrilgel: feels like graymold salve, protects like a stack of L3 spell tomes.”
 
 
P.S. Great stuff, everyone!  And RentBoy: I think you can insert   wherever you want an extra space, like this:

S   pa    c  e
 =
S   pa    c  e

[ Tuesday, June 24, 2003 16:36: Message edited by: Churl ]
Posts: 37 | Registered: Monday, June 9 2003 07:00
Warrior
Member # 2494
Profile Homepage #21
Wow, it actually says Nephlim in written words?

Anyways, here's my style:

100 blackish shades is the hall,
They are in your way, which one next it to fall,
With hasted speed the blade cuts them all,
No more annoying black shades in the hall.

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In a world of darkness, light is everywhere. You just have to look.
Posts: 130 | Registered: Thursday, January 16 2003 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 335
Profile Homepage #22
There's also Numbers 13:33, which says:

quote:
And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.
Some argue that that is another reference to the Nephilim. And using Google, you can also see that many argue that the Nephilim are aliens. No idols anywhere that I can see, though.

And now, Exile through the eyes of Throg:

They throw me in Exile. It big cave. I kill many monsters there and get treasure and pretty swords. Sometimes I die but other people bring me back. Then I kill Garzahd after going to the surface. Then I almost kill Rentar-Ihrno but don't. And I get other pretty daggers.

—Alorael, who likes Throg. He just wishes the E3 intro would play right on his computer so he could actually read the text and see what happens instead of getting about one frame out of every three.
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
Warrior
Member # 1229
Profile #23
I was actually thinking of making a short story based on the Geneforge world revolving around an Agent... hmm, maybe I'll get around to that.
Posts: 69 | Registered: Tuesday, May 28 2002 07:00
Skip to My Lou
Member # 40
Profile Homepage #24
We mustn't forget haiku!

The vengeful Rentar
Plagues the poor surface people
With nasty monsters

Mighty Erika
Is fried to a crispy crunch
By Rentar's sunlight

The talking spiders
Cause us all to lose our minds
Please stop the squeaking!

The Slithzerikai
Mighty lizard warriors
Are whooped by nephils :P

Demon-like Garzhad
Horrifyingly destroyed
By his own evil

Her soul is consumed
By her own summoned demons
Who else but Linda?

Cheeseball, the victim
of an undignified name
Why Cheeseball, Solberg?

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Need a pet? Need cheap labor? Buy a Moose!

Take the Personality Test! INTJ 78% 33% 44% 22%
Huzzah for the Masterminds!
Posts: 1629 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00

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