A Thousand Words

AuthorTopic: A Thousand Words
Guardian
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If a painting could say just one thing, what would it be? The Da Vinci Code aside, what would Mona Lisa say if she could talk? "Dude, where's my eyebrows?" I'm sure Whistler's Mother has a few things to say to her son about being portrayed so unflatteringly. And what's that guy screaming anyway?

The Contest: find a well-known painting, and create a humourous caption for it (Yes, CoC still applies. Still, I'd advise the mods to watch this thread like hawks.). I'll start:

EDIT: Great. Now I see the fate of the last posting game.

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IMAGE(http://www.lancasterrcdiocese.org.uk/pictures/creation.jpg)
"Pull my finger."

[ Monday, May 29, 2006 19:09: Message edited by: Dintiradan ]
Posts: 1509 | Registered: Tuesday, January 10 2006 08:00
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IMAGE(http://205.126.22.50/art/terms/largeprints/scream.jpg)
OMG!!!

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"As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it." --Albert Einstein
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Posts: 536 | Registered: Sunday, September 7 2003 07:00
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quote:
Originally written by WiKiSpidweb:

OMG!!!
I vote that one.
Posts: 587 | Registered: Tuesday, April 1 2003 08:00
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IMAGE(http://stuff.ermarian.net/kingy/images/ixnay37_screamalone.jpg)
OMG!!!

IMAGE(http://stuff.ermarian.net/kingy/images/Flying-Squid_artmovie.jpg)
Duna duna duna duna BATMAN!!!

Yea, these are clearly Something Awful images but I find them pretty damn funny so I though I may as well post them.

Edit: Removed to pre-empt the clawing-out of gray matter.

[ Tuesday, May 30, 2006 04:21: Message edited by: Henry Anthony Wilcox ]
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I like the Batman one. My votes for that.

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When you think you can't get any lower in life and hit rock bottom, God hands you a shovel.

Why should I say somthin intelligent when idiots like you make me look intelligent in the first place.
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IMAGE(http://c.foto.radikal.ru/0605/309a2610a72a.jpg)
Malevich, turn on the light, please!

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9 masks sing in a choir:
Gnome Dwarf Slith
Giant Troll Troglo
Human Nephil Vahnatai
"If the mask under mask to SE of mask to the left of mask and to the right of me is the mask below the mask to the right of mask to the right of mask below me is the same, then who am I?"

radix: +2 nicothodes: +1 salmon:+1
Posts: 203 | Registered: Tuesday, March 14 2006 08:00
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Kingy, please take those down or mirror them. SA images incur horrible penalties on remote-linkers.

IMAGE(http://www.noosfere.org/heberg/dufour/nighthawks.jpg)
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A voice reduced to a gravelly rasp by a lifetime of cigarettes. "Black, please. Yes, both of them." The solitary, time-worn attendant gave a single, brisk nod and went about his work.
A time passed. The street outside was empty, and the only sound in the lonesome diner - besides the near-silence of the attendant at his business - was the ticking of a distant clock.

Tick, tock.

"Elijah - that attendant looks familiar - one of those comedians, I think." The aging woman didn't turn to her companion, but simply gave a brief nod of the head to the man in question. He went about his business deaf to the conversation.

"I know it, Natalie. He used to be Larry the Cable Guy. I wonder why he still isn't."

"And I used to be Dave Chappelle," came a reply from the other side of the diner - a hollow and familiar voice from a worn frame slouched over the bar table. His face sagged with the sorrows of time. "People just don't have much to laugh about any more."

"Not since the war."

"No."

The tired eyes of all assembled drifted back out into space, staring at the cold and empty midnight street.

"Git'r done," the attendant said quietly, serving Wood and Portman their coffee.

There was no answer.

Tick, tock.

[ Tuesday, May 30, 2006 23:52: Message edited by: The Worst Man Ever ]
Posts: 794 | Registered: Tuesday, October 11 2005 07:00
Law Bringer
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quote:
Originally written by The Worst Man Ever:

Kingy, please take those down or mirror them. SA images incur horrible penalties on remote-linkers.
Those penalties take some time before taking effect? I haven't seen any yet, unless I misunderstood you. Does "horrible penalties" not refer to redirecting remote-linked images to goatse?

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
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...b10010b...
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quote:
Originally written by Henry Anthony Wilcox:

quote:
Originally written by The Worst Man Ever:

Kingy, please take those down or mirror them. SA images incur horrible penalties on remote-linkers.
Those penalties take some time before taking effect? I haven't seen any yet, unless I misunderstood you. Does "horrible penalties" not refer to redirecting remote-linked images to goatse?

Worse.

As soon as SA finds out you've remote-linked to their images, they redirect them to all sorts of awful things that make goatse look attractive by comparison.

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The Empire Always Loses: This Time For Sure!
Posts: 9973 | Registered: Saturday, March 30 2002 08:00
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I hope that such thing is about SomethingAwful only. Otherwise, bring down mine, too. :(

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9 masks sing in a choir:
Gnome Dwarf Slith
Giant Troll Troglo
Human Nephil Vahnatai
"If the mask under mask to SE of mask to the left of mask and to the right of me is the mask below the mask to the right of mask to the right of mask below me is the same, then who am I?"

radix: +2 nicothodes: +1 salmon:+1
Posts: 203 | Registered: Tuesday, March 14 2006 08:00
Law Bringer
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Don't worry; SA's definition of Ethical Conduct is pretty unique.

I do wonder about the manual redirect though. Does this mean they have time to sift through the server logs to find out whether an image is being requested through another web site? It's not exactly hard to make the redirect automatic, like Geocities does.
Then again, it's not very hard to circumvent that either.

Also, I don't know any pictures that are significantly worse than Goatse. Except harlequin fetus, perhaps, my memory of which is repressed.

Since Kingy is either offline or doesn't see your message, I'm relocating the pictures. Call it pre-emptive CoC enforcement, or something. :P

[ Tuesday, May 30, 2006 04:18: Message edited by: Henry Anthony Wilcox ]

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Shaper
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Profile #11
I find the concept of Pre-Emptive CoC enforcement very troubling...

On with the topic, Rothko's Number 15 says "15".

[ Tuesday, May 30, 2006 04:41: Message edited by: Lt. Sullust ]

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Lt. Sullust
Cogito Ergo Sum
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quote:
Originally written by Lt. Sullust:

I find the concept of Pre-Emptive CoC enforcement very troubling...
I have the well-being of the people at heart.

IMAGE(http://www.totalmedia.com/images/BigBrother1984_sml.gif)

:P

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Warrior
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quote:
Originally written by Henry Anthony Wilcox:

I have the well-being of the people at heart.

IMAGE(http://www.totalmedia.com/images/BigBrother1984_sml.gif)

You do not, and he is not.

[ Tuesday, May 30, 2006 05:24: Message edited by: Maimonides ]
Posts: 66 | Registered: Sunday, May 28 2006 07:00
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quote:
Originally written by Henry Anthony Wilcox:

I have the well-being of the people at heart.

IMAGE(http://www.totalmedia.com/images/BigBrother1984_sml.gif)


Man. If Richard Nixon and Dr. Spock had a baby, it would actually look a lot like Big Brother.

IMAGE(http://perso.wanadoo.fr/art-deco.france/IMAGES/picasso_guernica.jpg)

Your very own Animal Farm™ comes with all parts shown here, some assembly required.

[ Tuesday, May 30, 2006 12:57: Message edited by: Robinator, #034 ]

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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

'Spiderweb Software' anagrammmed: 'Word-bereft A**wipe'
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(Image as link for browser sanity)

Lock

Mod was here!

—Alorael, who has more of those lined up. Many, many more.

[ Tuesday, May 30, 2006 13:13: Message edited by: The Adventures of Taqman and ELISA ]
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
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Yea sorry. I just figured they wouldn't care that they were done on a little known forum. But yea, I guess those guys would do something like that.
Posts: 776 | Registered: Friday, July 4 2003 07:00
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quote:
Originally written by The Adventures of Taqman and ELISA:

(Image as link for browser sanity)

Lock

Mod was here!

—Alorael, who has more of those lined up. Many, many more.

Was this meant to be accompanied by an actual lock? It sure looked like it...

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00