Pratchettian Mathematics

Pages

AuthorTopic: Pratchettian Mathematics
Master Jeweller
Member # 409
Profile Homepage #0
I believe the relevant equation is
Knowledge = Power = Energy = Mass

Therefore large quantities of knowledge (i.e. books and libraries) have
distorting effects on space similar to those mass has.
This gives rise to the whole L-Space theory.

(probably not an accurate quote. Oh well. Try lspace.org)

--------------------
Freude, schöner Götterfunken, Tochter aus Elysium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heilighthum!
Deine Zauber binden wieder, was die Mode streng getheilt,
Alle Menschen werden Brüder, wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

Pieter Simoons aka Radiant

Official Crystal Shard and SubTerra webpage
Posts: 798 | Registered: Monday, December 17 2001 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #1
Time is also distorted, which causes the fact that while you're in a library or on a throne, time passes much faster than outside this quasi-gravitational influence... IMAGE(Spiderweb Software Boards Pratchettian Mathematics_files/tongue.gif)

Just walk into a library, take a good book, and notice time flying. IMAGE(Spiderweb Software Boards Pratchettian Mathematics_files/biggrin.gif)

--------------------
"And all should cry, Beware, Beware!
His Flashing eyes, his Floating hair!" S. T. Coleridge
---
"It is as if everyone had lost their sense
Consigned themselves to downfall and decadence
And a wisp it is they have chosen as their beacon." Reinhard Mey.
---
Quote of the Week: "I have a high opinion of myself, which makes up for my total lack of intelligence." Anon.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Cartographer
Member # 1851
Profile Homepage #2
Um.. wasn't that equation supposed to have five items? Or is it just me? I seem to remember five.. in Finnish. Except that I don't actually remember what they were. Just general five.

EDIT: cold pizza.

[ Friday, September 12, 2003 05:34: Message edited by: Imagine, Crush ]

--------------------
Ah! My Homepage - In Finnish and English
Geneforge - The Maps
My Elfwood Gallery - Stories I've written in english
The WALL - Forums in Finnish
Waitingformedication. I could really use some.
Posts: 1308 | Registered: Sunday, September 8 2002 07:00
Shaper
Member # 517
Profile #3
Knowledge = Power = Energy = Mass = Cold Pizza? That doesn't seem to make sense...on the other hand, I suppose this is Pratchettian Maths...

-E-

--------------------
Let them eat cake!

Polaris Boards: The System is Up. Perennially.
Posts: 2314 | Registered: Tuesday, January 15 2002 08:00
Master Jeweller
Member # 409
Profile Homepage #4
Now that you mention it, yes it was five. But not pizza. I'll look it up...

Ah here we go.

Libraries, nature of.

Even big collections of ordinary books distort space and time, as can readily be proved by anyone who has been around a really old-fashioned second-hand bookshop, one of those that has more staircases than storeys and those rows of shelves that end in little doors that are surely too small for a full sized human to enter.

The relevant equation is Knowledge = Power = Energy = Matter = Mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read. Mass distorts space into polyfractal L-space, in which Everywhere is also Everywhere Else.

All libraries are connected in L-space by the bookwormholes created by the strong space-time distortions found in any large collection of books. Only a very few librarians learn the secret, and there are inflexible rules about making use of the fact - because it amounts to time travel.

The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: (1) Silence; (2) Books must be returned no later than the last date shown, and (3) the nature of causality must not be interfered with.

--------------------
Freude, schöner Götterfunken, Tochter aus Elysium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heilighthum!
Deine Zauber binden wieder, was die Mode streng getheilt,
Alle Menschen werden Brüder, wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

Pieter Simoons aka Radiant

Official Crystal Shard and SubTerra webpage
Posts: 798 | Registered: Monday, December 17 2001 08:00
Master Jeweller
Member # 409
Profile Homepage #5
By the way while we're into strange mathematics.

X = X (obvious truth)

X^2 = X^2 (slight modification of obvious truth)

X^2 - X^2 = X^2 - X^2 (another slight modification)

Now we know that we can simplify the above in different ways.
In particular, A^2 - B^2 = (A + B) * (A - B) gives the right part.

X (X - X) = (X + X) (X - X)

Simplification gives

X = X + X

or,
1 = 2

Q.E.D.

--------------------
Freude, schöner Götterfunken, Tochter aus Elysium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heilighthum!
Deine Zauber binden wieder, was die Mode streng getheilt,
Alle Menschen werden Brüder, wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

Pieter Simoons aka Radiant

Official Crystal Shard and SubTerra webpage
Posts: 798 | Registered: Monday, December 17 2001 08:00
Shaper
Member # 32
Profile #6
The flaw there is that you can't divide 0/0 which is what you attempt when you take (x-x)/(x-x).

--------------------
Lt. Sullust
Cogito Ergo Sum
Polaris
Posts: 2462 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
Cartographer
Member # 1851
Profile Homepage #7
.... I didn't mean the pizza to end up in the equation O_O. I just edited the word 'general' in to the message, and decided to put 'EDIT: cold pizza' in for kicks.
And I did have cold pizza here.. I wasn't eating it at the moment, and it was getting colder by the minutes.. (btw, I just finished it)

Just so you know IMAGE(Spiderweb Software Boards Pratchettian Mathematics_files/tongue.gif) .

EDIT:
3=2+1 ||×(3-2)
3×(3-2)=(2+1)×(3-2)
3²-3×2=2×3-2²+3-2
3²-3×2-3=2×3-2²-2
3×(3-2-1)=2×(3-2-1) ||:(3-2-1)
3=2

Just felt like sharing some math.

[ Friday, September 12, 2003 08:31: Message edited by: JR ]

--------------------
Ah! My Homepage - In Finnish and English
Geneforge - The Maps
My Elfwood Gallery - Stories I've written in english
The WALL - Forums in Finnish
Waitingformedication. I could really use some.
Posts: 1308 | Registered: Sunday, September 8 2002 07:00
Shaper
Member # 32
Profile #8
That has the same error as the previous one. You cannot divide 0 by 0 and think that everything will come out alright.

--------------------
Lt. Sullust
Cogito Ergo Sum
Polaris
Posts: 2462 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
Cartographer
Member # 1851
Profile Homepage #9
Hun, I just copied it from my math book. But, yes, now I see what the problem in it was supposed to be.

--------------------
Ah! My Homepage - In Finnish and English
Geneforge - The Maps
My Elfwood Gallery - Stories I've written in english
The WALL - Forums in Finnish
Waitingformedication. I could really use some.
Posts: 1308 | Registered: Sunday, September 8 2002 07:00
Shock Trooper
Member # 1207
Profile #10
My maths teacher says he has this proof that 1=0 and either he hasn't actually shown us it yet or my memory is like a sieve, and right now I'm wondering that it probably is...

--------------------
~ørangutan

I want high-bit characters in my displayed name!!! :( :( :( (Or at least an exclamtion point!)

Eat pie!
BADGER!
Posts: 316 | Registered: Saturday, May 25 2002 07:00
Triad Mage
Member # 7
Profile Homepage #11
However, one of the fundamental axioms of math is that 1 != 0. So nyah.

--------------------
"At times discretion should be thrown aside, and with the foolish we should play the fool." - Menander
====
Drakefyre's Demesne - Vahnatai Did Do It
desperance.net - We're Everywhere
The Arena - God Will Sort The Dead
====
You can take my Mac when you pry my cold, dead fingers off the mouse!
Posts: 9436 | Registered: Wednesday, September 19 2001 07:00
Post Navel Trauma ^_^
Member # 67
Profile Homepage #12
£0.25 = 25p
sqrt(£0.25) = sqrt(25p)
£0.5 = 5p
50p = 5p

--------------------
Grammar wenches beware:
This is the house that the malt that the rat that the cat that the dog that the cow that the maiden that the man that the priest that the cock that the farmer kept waked married kissed milked tossed worried killed ate lay in.

My Website
desperance.net - Leave your sanity at the door
Posts: 1798 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #13
You can't square-root a currency! IMAGE(Spiderweb Software Boards Pratchettian Mathematics_files/tongue.gif)

--------------------
"And all should cry, Beware, Beware!
His Flashing eyes, his Floating hair!" S. T. Coleridge
---
"It is as if everyone had lost their sense
Consigned themselves to downfall and decadence
And a wisp it is they have chosen as their beacon." Reinhard Mey.
---
Quote of the Week: "I have a high opinion of myself, which makes up for my total lack of intelligence." Anon.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Shaper
Member # 32
Profile #14
quote:
Originally written by Drakefyre:

However, one of the fundamental axioms of math is that 1 != 0. So nyah.
no 1!=1 but 0!=1, maybe that is what you meant.

0!=1
1(0!)=1
N(N-1)!=1
N!=1
1!=1

True

[ Saturday, September 13, 2003 06:22: Message edited by: Lt. Sullust ]

--------------------
Lt. Sullust
Cogito Ergo Sum
Polaris
Posts: 2462 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
Triad Mage
Member # 7
Profile Homepage #15
That's a "does-not-equal", not factorials.

--------------------
"At times discretion should be thrown aside, and with the foolish we should play the fool." - Menander
====
Drakefyre's Demesne - Vahnatai Did Do It
desperance.net - We're Everywhere
The Arena - God Will Sort The Dead
====
You can take my Mac when you pry my cold, dead fingers off the mouse!
Posts: 9436 | Registered: Wednesday, September 19 2001 07:00
Shaper
Member # 32
Profile #16
{}=Empty Set=@
N{}=0
N{@}=1
N{@,{@}}=2
N{@,{@},{@,{@}}}=3

--------------------
Lt. Sullust
Cogito Ergo Sum
Polaris
Posts: 2462 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #17
What is that supposed to be? IMAGE(Spiderweb Software Boards Pratchettian Mathematics_files/confused.gif) Is that even mathematics, or just a coupla meaningless symbols?

--------------------
"And all should cry, Beware, Beware!
His Flashing eyes, his Floating hair!" S. T. Coleridge
---
"It is as if everyone had lost their sense
Consigned themselves to downfall and decadence
And a wisp it is they have chosen as their beacon." Reinhard Mey.
---
Quote of the Week: "I have a high opinion of myself, which makes up for my total lack of intelligence." Anon.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Shaper
Member # 517
Profile #18
quote:
Originally written by Khoth:

£0.25 = 25p
sqrt(£0.25) = sqrt(25p)
£0.5 = 5p
50p = 5p

Um, you can't do that. Square-rooting changes the units. 0.5 £^(0.5)=5(p^0.5), but £0.5 != 5p.

-E-

--------------------
Let them eat cake!

Polaris Boards: The System is Up. Perennially.
Posts: 2314 | Registered: Tuesday, January 15 2002 08:00
Shock Trooper
Member # 1723
Profile #19
While we're on the subject of theoretical mathematics...

Girls = Money x Time

Time = Money

Girls = Money x Money = Money^2

Money = Root of all Evil

Girls = Root of all Evil^2

So, Girls = All Evil

--------------------
"... and approximately one sea turtle."
Posts: 277 | Registered: Tuesday, August 13 2002 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #20
We've got a copy of that one hanging at the back of our Math room. IMAGE(Spiderweb Software Boards Pratchettian Mathematics_files/biggrin.gif)

--------------------
"And all should cry, Beware, Beware!
His Flashing eyes, his Floating hair!" S. T. Coleridge
---
"It is as if everyone had lost their sense
Consigned themselves to downfall and decadence
And a wisp it is they have chosen as their beacon." Reinhard Mey.
---
Quote of the Week: "I have a high opinion of myself, which makes up for my total lack of intelligence." Anon.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Post Navel Trauma ^_^
Member # 67
Profile Homepage #21
1 = 1
sqrt(1) = sqrt(1)
sqrt(1 x 1) = sqrt(-1 x -1)
sqrt(1) x sqrt(1) = sqrt(-1) x sqrt(-1)
sqrt(1)^2 = sqrt(-1)^2
1 = -1

Replace sqrt(-1) with i in any place that makes you feel happier. The error is not that sqrt(-1) does not exist.

--------------------
Grammar wenches beware:
This is the house that the malt that the rat that the cat that the dog that the cow that the maiden that the man that the priest that the cock that the farmer kept waked married kissed milked tossed worried killed ate lay in.

My Website
desperance.net - Leave your sanity at the door
Posts: 1798 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Shaper
Member # 32
Profile #22
The error is that you neglect that the left side could have also turned out to be -1.

--------------------
Lt. Sullust
Cogito Ergo Sum
Polaris
Posts: 2462 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
Master Jeweller
Member # 409
Profile Homepage #23
Okay, how about this one.

X squared equals X + X + X + X ...
(for a total of X terms).
(for instance 5 squared = 5 + 5 + 5 + 5 + 5)

If we take the derivative over X on both sides.
X^2 derived = 2 X
X derived = 1

So we get the equation
2 X = 1 + 1 + 1 + ...
(for a total of X terms)
Therefore it is proven that 2 X = X for any X
In other words 1 = 2.

--------------------
Freude, schöner Götterfunken, Tochter aus Elysium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heilighthum!
Deine Zauber binden wieder, was die Mode streng getheilt,
Alle Menschen werden Brüder, wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

Pieter Simoons aka Radiant

Official Crystal Shard and SubTerra webpage
Posts: 798 | Registered: Monday, December 17 2001 08:00
Master Jeweller
Member # 409
Profile Homepage #24
And by the way it is a mathematical fact that 0 = 1 for very large values of 0.
IMAGE(Spiderweb Software Boards Pratchettian Mathematics_files/tongue.gif)

--------------------
Freude, schöner Götterfunken, Tochter aus Elysium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heilighthum!
Deine Zauber binden wieder, was die Mode streng getheilt,
Alle Menschen werden Brüder, wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

Pieter Simoons aka Radiant

Official Crystal Shard and SubTerra webpage
Posts: 798 | Registered: Monday, December 17 2001 08:00

Pages