Proper behavior for raving cultists

AuthorTopic: Proper behavior for raving cultists
Law Bringer
Member # 335
Profile Homepage #0
RWG was going somewhere. We had plots, schemes, conspiracies, and needle/ferrets. We had only four locked topics left on the first page. Then someone felt the need to revive an old, honorable thread with spam, forcing Drakey's hand and putting a locked topic at the top of the list.

This isn't right, and it shames RW to be served by such as us. In punishment, all of you will explain in detail what would happen if a Vell-os, an ORiS, um, individual, and a disgruntled space marine got into a drunken brawl?

—Alorael, who expects all responses to be thoughtful, well-written, spell checked, and free of spam.
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
Skip to My Lou
Member # 40
Profile Homepage #1
For the sake of simplicity we shall call the Vell-os George, the ORiS individual Space Monkey, and the disgruntled space marine Mr. Noodlepants.

The first punch would likely be thrown by Mr. Noodlepants because after a few drinks he would realize that George would look better if he had his face re-arranged. Space Monkey would likely then proceed to dance on the table and cheer on George (because who likes humans?). Mr. Noodlepants would then grab Space Monkey by the (insert ORiS body part) and yank down off the table onto George.

The drinks of the respective individuals, feeling insulted at their abondonment for a silly fight, would then devour them all.

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Posts: 1629 | Registered: Wednesday, October 3 2001 07:00
Mongolian Barbeque
Member # 1528
Profile #2
Would this be a Space Marine from Warhammer 40,000? If so, I'd pay heavy money to see this kind of fight.

After the first few badly-aimed punches and thrown bottles, the Vell-Os would try to fry the Space Marine's mind as the Space Marine pulls out his multiquad fragblaster on the ORiS as the ORiS curls up into a ball and shoots spiky spores into the Vell-Os' vulnerable body.

They'd all end up dying more or less simultaneously, and with a spectacular window-shattering series of sopping wet explosions.
Posts: 907 | Registered: Monday, July 15 2002 07:00
Lack of Vision
Member # 2717
Profile #3
quote:
Originally written by 46.46:

's hand and putting a locked topic at the top of the list.

This isn't right, and it shames RW to be served by such as us. In punishment, all of you will explain in detail what would happen if a Vell-os, an ORiS, um, individual, and a disgruntled space marine got into a drunken brawl?

—Alorael, who expects all responses to be thoughtful, well-written, spell checked, and free of spam.

Before we begin to analyze the above situation, we must establish some basic facts.

Basic Fact #1: Vell-Os are humans, presumably of Hindi origin, from another Shareware company's software title. The "human" part and the "other company" part give it two strikes from the very beginning.

Basic Fact #2: ORiS is the acronym for Organically Reliant Species (according to the GC "manual"), and is one of Richard White's originally created species (he is a divine being, you know!). GC is also distributed by SW, so it gets -2 strikes from the start.

Basic Fact #3: Space marines were popularized in the Aliens series of movies, which, as you know, were based on the nightmarish drawings of Geiger. They have since been adopted as the model for nearly every knockoff space-related item produced by the American cinema establishment and later by every space computer game involving a clash among space humans and alien species. The coolness associated with being created by Geiger is -1 strike. The coolness of Alien, Aliens & Alien Resurrection results in -3 strikes. BUT, the lameness of Aliens 3 and Alien versus Predator results in 2 strikes. In addition, the sheer unoriginality of space marines since the Aliens film results in 1 strike against them as well. This means that the space marines' net total strikes is -1.

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Thus, if they were playing a baseball series, the ORiS would be the vegas-preferred candidate for the above-mentioned bar fight for the above-mentioned reasons. The Richard White transcendental theorem, as defined by Icshi in his seminal work "Richard White as I used to know, and will one day again know (but not in the Biblical sense) him", stipulates that all bar fights involving space-related aspects must conform to the National League rules regarding pinch hitting. Thus, as you can imagine, this magnifies the advantage of the ORiS and Space Marine against the Vell-os, but reduces their advantage versus each other.

In practice, this means that Alo would have precious little time to target them with his rifle. Fortunately, he is a very good shot when shooting from the hip. This is due to his steel hip that was replaced after the Pumpkin Incident.

That is all.

Z

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Pan Lever: Seventeen apple roving mirror moiety. Of turned quorum jaggedly the. Blue?
Posts: 186 | Registered: Thursday, February 27 2003 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #4
The Vell-Os would win because he's from the best game of the three. That, of course, is just a personal opinion and as such has marginally less value. Especially since I did not have the time to back it up with a page of ramblings. :P

[ Tuesday, October 04, 2005 20:48: Message edited by: Aran-something. ]

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Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Master
Member # 5977
Profile Homepage #5
quote:
Originally written by 46.46:

RWG was going somewhere. We had plots, schemes, conspiracies, and needle/ferrets. We had only four locked topics left on the first page. Then someone felt the need to revive an old, honorable thread with spam, forcing Drakey's hand and putting a locked topic at the top of the list.

This isn't right, and it shames RW to be served by such as us. In punishment, all of you will explain in detail what would happen if a Vell-os, an ORiS, um, individual, and a disgruntled space marine got into a drunken brawl?

—Alorael, who expects all responses to be thoughtful, well-written, spell checked, and free of spam.

I've received a message of the mighty chicken gods concerning this yopic:

"We,The mighty chicken gods, leaders of everything that is a chicken, kindly protest to the seemingly always forgotten PTC's, or scissor/chickens. Save these elegant looking creatures that have very sharp feathers! Or we will curse you. Its your choice, but don't say we didn't warn you."

And my own opinion on this matter, is that also this topic is useless, and therefor deserves the right to be started on the RW forum.

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Posts: 3029 | Registered: Saturday, June 18 2005 07:00
Master
Member # 4614
Profile Homepage #6
No, no, no. Spam is quite okay. Remember this is still Misc. Well, I guess slash-Cult, but still at least part Misc.

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-ben4808
Posts: 3360 | Registered: Friday, June 25 2004 07:00
By Committee
Member # 4233
Profile #7
quote:
Originally written by 46.46:

In punishment, all of you will explain in detail what would happen if a Vell-os, an ORiS, um, individual, and a disgruntled space marine got into a drunken brawl?
Fission.
Posts: 2242 | Registered: Saturday, April 10 2004 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 335
Profile Homepage #8
Binary or nuclear?

—Alorael, who is hoping for the former. It would be exciting!
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00