Great Song!

AuthorTopic: Great Song!
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Here's a link to very funny song The Kitten Song Tell me what you think of it.

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Don't expect the expected
expect the unexpected
if you expect the expected
I expect you will remain unexpected.
Posts: 775 | Registered: Friday, October 11 2002 07:00
Law Bringer
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That is a suitable response to a different kitten. It's also an amusing song, although I happen to like kittens, thank you very much.

[ediT: capiTalizaTion!]

—Alorael, who was greatly reminded of Tom Lehrer. The singing style was different, but the humor is definitely Lehreresque.

[ Friday, May 30, 2003 06:45: Message edited by: Alorael ]
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
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I like that song to.

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Don't expect the expected
expect the unexpected
if you expect the expected
I expect you will remain unexpected.
Posts: 775 | Registered: Friday, October 11 2002 07:00
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Is it related to the killing-kitten thing that is not suitable here?

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Posts: 1798 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
This Side Towards Enemy
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Oh, you're welcome to do it whilst reading the boards. Just no photos, please.
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Triad Mage
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More kittens:

http://www.rathergood.com/independent_woman/

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Posts: 9436 | Registered: Wednesday, September 19 2001 07:00
Shaper
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All very wierd but funny.

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Posts: 2395 | Registered: Friday, November 2 2001 08:00
Guardian
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1. Amusing, but I'd never even think about killing kittens, my cat would turn hostile if he saw me killing a kitten, and I like cats and kittens.
2. Strange, but amusing.
3. Couldn't quite hear what they said, but amusing.

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Posts: 1779 | Registered: Monday, December 9 2002 08:00
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K, I do not even like kittens but I think this topic is sick. I hope you bastards burn in Hell.

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Posts: 1046 | Registered: Friday, March 22 2002 08:00
Agent
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It's just a bit of random fun JF.
No-one here is going to kill a kitten man.

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Posts: 1112 | Registered: Friday, July 19 2002 07:00
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Sorry i just put the song up for fun i didn't know people would get mad... (i like cats don't anyone think i would ever kill a kitten}

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Don't expect the expected
expect the unexpected
if you expect the expected
I expect you will remain unexpected.
Posts: 775 | Registered: Friday, October 11 2002 07:00
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Well, there *is* after all a disclaimer on the page to not take the song seriously. The pity is, most people just go in a rage as soon as they hear the song and don't stop to read the disclaimer.

There is one link on that page that does deserve such rage IMO, and it's the Bonsai Kitten one ( Click Here)

It's just gross :mad: , and if that one's just a joke like the song - which I don't think - they so far have not put on a disclaimer.

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Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
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I never saw that song and now that i have heard it i know how you feel... it is sick.

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Don't expect the expected
expect the unexpected
if you expect the expected
I expect you will remain unexpected.
Posts: 775 | Registered: Friday, October 11 2002 07:00
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The bonsai kittens are a joke. I found them funny.

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Grammar wenches beware:
This is the house that the malt that the rat that the cat that the dog that the cow that the maiden that the man that the priest that the cock that the farmer kept waked married kissed milked tossed worried killed ate lay in.

My Website
desperance.net - Leave your sanity at the door
Posts: 1798 | Registered: Thursday, October 4 2001 07:00
Shaper
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My landlady's cats constantly hassle me for food now she's away. The 'battery kitty' idea is really good to regulate their food intake, though I guess an extra-long hose would be needed to divert waste out into the garden (fertilizer!), a colostomy-type arrangement, or maybe some motion-related alarm to shift them out there.

Another plus is that they only get on beds, laps, etc when their jar is placed there rather than waking me at unearthly hours, demanding yet more food by standing on me purring and drooling - and no damn hairs everywhere even when so placed.

Finally, bottled cats wouldn't constantly get into fights, which clock up ridiculous vets' bills (funny how cat antibiotics cost six times what equivalent human antibiotics do), and even if they did, a thick layer of glass would mean no expensive injuries.

What's the fuss about? Where do I send the cheque?
Posts: 2333 | Registered: Monday, January 7 2002 08:00
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I hope that was a joke too. :P

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"And all should cry, Beware, Beware!
His Flashing eyes, his Floating hair!" S. T. Coleridge
---
"It is as if everyone had lost their sense
Consigned themselves to downfall and decadence
And a wisp it is they have chosen as their beacon." Reinhard Mey.
---
Quote of the Week: "I have a high opinion of myself, which makes up for my total lack of intelligence." Anon.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
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From BonsaiKitten.com:

quote:
Method
At only a few weeks of age, a kitten's bones have not yet hardened and become osseous. They are extremely soft and springy. In fact, if you take a week-old kitten and throw it to the floor, it will actually bounce! We do not recommend that you try this at home. The kitten may bounce under the furniture and be difficult to retrieve, as well as covered in unsightly household dust. However, the flexibility of the kitten's skeleton means that if the bones are gently warped at this early age, they can be molded into any desired shape. At Bonsai Kitten, we achieve this by placing the kitten into a rigid vessel soon after birth, and allowing the young cat to grow out its formative time entirely within this container. The kitten essentially grows into the shape of the vessel! Once the cat is fully developed, it is removed (or the vessel broken to remove it!), producing the lovable, furry pet you've always wanted, but it remains in the shape you've always dreamed of! There is virtually no limit to the eventual shape of your pet.

Practical Considerations
At Bonsai Kitten, we are happy to take care of all the little details and simply deliver to you a fully shaped kitten according to your specifications. However, for those who have applied for and received the appropriate Bonsai Kitticulture permits from the U.S. government, we are happy to provide details of the procedure to those who want to start from "scratch"! There are three main requirements that must be considered when making a Bonsai Kitten:

Air. This ought to go without saying, but you'd be surprised how many amateurs forget this detail and wind up with a cold, hard kitty in the morning! If the containment vessel is sealed, you must drill airholes prior to kitten insertion. A diamond drill is recommended for glass vessels.
Food & Water. Especially if the kitten's head is being shaped (one of the most versatile aspects of the Bonsai Kitten), it will not be able to eat or drink normally. The most common solution is another hole in the container with a feeding tube to the kitten's mouth, where a liquid food slurry can provide both nutrient and hydration requirements.
Waste Removal. Left to its own devices, the kitten would quickly fill its vessel with its own urine and feces, leading to certain sickness and death, not to mention the inevitably unpleasant appearance and odor. The best solution is to seal the kitten's anus with Super Glue prior to insertion, and then insert a waste tube through a third hole in the vessel. As the kitten's body is still developing, a natural rectal diverticulum will soon form around the tube, which can be drained in any convenient fashion. It's just like a kitty colostomy bag!

I am VERY happy that this is a joke. Althrough the idea is... interesting. :P

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Who was born in a house full of pain
Who was trained not to spit in the fan
Who was told what to do by the man
Who was broken by trained personnel
Who was fitted with collar and chain
Who was given a pat on the back
Who was breaking away from the pack
Who was only a stranger at home
Who was ground down in the end
Who was found dead on the phone
Who was dragged down by the stone
Posts: 595 | Registered: Tuesday, March 12 2002 08:00