Church of the Nine-Headed Cave Cow
|Author||Topic: Church of the Nine-Headed Cave Cow|
Member # 6652
written Saturday, May 13 2006 00:55
We should definitely be mooving on from that pun.
But I don't want to ride the elevator.
Posts: 420 | Registered: Sunday, January 8 2006 08:00
Member # 6600
written Saturday, May 13 2006 08:07
5/13/06 Vol. 1, Issue 1
DISCONTENT AMONG THE BOVINGELICALS
Dikiyoba, Free-Range Reporter
The first great fence has arisen, dividing the bovingelicals into two fields. Voicing concerns that the current church leadership has too much weight and has stopped listening to ordinary herd members, several members have defected from the Church of the Nine-Headed Cave Cow and formed the Atkins Reformed Church of the Nine-Headed Cave Cow. Says one reformed bovingelical, "We were just fed up. His and Her Meaty Appendage's preaching is bull. Just give us the holy hamburger, and hold the puns."
His and Her Meaty Appendage could not be reached for comment. However, one bovingelical reportedly said, "Those reformists simply want some of the Church of the Nine-Headed Cave Cow's moola for themselves." The bovingelical's words apparently spooked the reformists and he or she was trampled to death in the resulting stampede.
So say good-bye to the perfect harmony that the Church of the Nine-Headed Cave Cow enjoyed previously. What does the future hold? No one knows. Only one thing is known for sure—there's no use crying over split milk.
Coming next week: Shocking new evidence that the moon really is made of cheese.
[ Saturday, May 13, 2006 08:08: Message edited by: Dikiyoba ]
Posts: 4346 | Registered: Friday, December 23 2005 08:00
Member # 335
written Saturday, May 13 2006 09:53
Pedantic time: The song is something of a parody of "I Am Woman," only musically preferable. Organs are nice! Also, methane is a greenhouse gas, which makes it environmentally dangerous, but it doesn't deplete the ozone layer. In fact, methane contributes to the buildup of ozone pollution.
—Alorael, who should get off his high cow now. Religious rabbles never take well to being corrected.
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
Raven v. Writing Desk
Member # 261
written Saturday, May 13 2006 10:29
I think these so-called "reformists" have been spending a little too much time around surface cows.
-- His and Her Meaty Appendage
Slarty vs. Desk • Desk vs. Slarty • Timeline of Ermarian • G4 Strategy Central
Posts: 3560 | Registered: Wednesday, November 7 2001 08:00