Creative Writing

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AuthorTopic: Creative Writing
Shaper
Member # 3442
Profile Homepage #25
Thanks for all the feedback. Even you, TM. A lot of you criticised the scrambled, jumbled flow (or rather, lack of it), and I'd like to point out that this was deliberate. It's something I should have mentioned at the beginning when I first posted, but we all make mistakes. The whole thing was designed to be confused - I can tell because of the scribble at the top of my notebook page that says "4am - his first dream". I was, if I recall, writing it as someone who wakes up staring at the sky. I later renamed it "Moonbeam", perhaps stupidly. I don't know.

I also never suggested it was good in any way. :P In fact, this is quite an old poem I wrote when I was about 15 or 16. The material I write these days is much better, in my opinion anyway. I shall post some when I have my notebook handy. And, you'll all be glad to know, I now own a thesaurus, and have been studying poets like Byron, Blake etc for a coupe of years now... Which will probably not have improved my writing at all!

No, "moonbeam" was all about powerful imagery, broken up, as if by blinking. It's about colour, passion...

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And when you want to Live
How do you start?
Where do you go?
Who do you need to know?

Posts: 2864 | Registered: Monday, September 8 2003 07:00
Cartographer
Member # 1851
Profile Homepage #26
I don't really read or write poetry, but I have 2 on my site. I've done more, but they're.. cheezy and.. well, nevermind about them o.o; Anyway, I focus more in actual stories, but only a bit more success. ^^'

'Squirrel'

"Cunning little critter,
Small furry squirrel.

Looking for a stray food or two,
Happy to find more than a few.

If would a ferocious animal appear,
Should it curl up and quiver in fear?

No, but run to the nearest pine,
And for greatest safety, hide.

Comfy in it's nest, with it's little family too.
There's the life of a squirrel for you."

Not much behind that one. Just a bit of inspiration.

I asked TM once to go over this next one, and he certainly got loads out of it. Although, he overdid it. It's much, MUCH simpler in reality. Still, I'm immensely proud of it, no matter what. :P

'The Ending' (or full name: 'When Pleading For Ending, All Must Wave And Wink')

"MaNiAcAl LaUgHteR cOuLd Be HeArD aRoUnD tHe EnDiNg.
but the end had no beginning so it could not drop down and bark like everyone else.
Salty tears, streaming down your face. Your make-up, all flaking.
Drip, drip, drip, went the bell in the nursery and GonG was the bell's name.
Ahhh... the red of your lips, so soft, so warm, so trembling.
Is this a tie I see before my mouth Perhaps I shall eat thy wig Perhaps I shall sing a naughty tune
BuT tHe EnD hAd No WiNnInG iNtEnTiOnS.
so as the dogs flew by with the mice and as the cats ran to hell with the pigs and the horses stated they wanted to be left alone with a mattress.
Your poor face, all white of color. The blood your eyes left when they melted and cried out.
The bell in the nursery, parents wanted it red, the kids wanting to do the right thing (went to their beds and cut their wrists making all so very red), the parents said, 'no we want green instead'.
The lipstick, made out of crayons now stains your lips, so simple, so rigid, so yellow.
The moon gave its final blessing The fish held no breath The end came and winked to us all"

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"I'm not crazy!"
"Well, whatever. Maybe you just ate something really questionable, or perhaps someone hit you on the head with something large, blunt and heavy just now. By the way..." Gil nudged Grul pointedly.

Ooh! Homepage - Blog - Geneforge, +2, +3 - My Elfwood Gallery and DevArt page
So many strange ones around. Don't you think?
Posts: 1308 | Registered: Sunday, September 8 2002 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 335
Profile Homepage #27
Guy by the Canal is no longer accessible! Saunders, help!

—Alorael, whose quarternary goal in life is to write a novel that will become mandatory curriculum for all students of the English language. Thousands of hapless children will be forced to read, dissect, and detest the work!
Posts: 14579 | Registered: Saturday, December 1 2001 08:00
La Canaliste
Member # 5563
Profile #28
Canal was archived by Khothie on his university web space. After four years as a student, he was finally expelled into the outer darkness of gainful employment, and it no longer has a home.
Actually, I haven't written any Canal for a couple of years. Life itself got a bit too gothic for it to be fun.
Maybe some of the lighter strands are due for revival if some kind person could offer a home?

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I am a mater of time and how .

Deep down, you know you should have voted for Alcritas!
Posts: 387 | Registered: Tuesday, March 1 2005 08:00
Cartographer
Member # 1851
Profile Homepage #29
I've got bunch of space available on my site. Don't know if someone else has a better offer, like, say, more aesthetic url...

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"I'm not crazy!"
"Well, whatever. Maybe you just ate something really questionable, or perhaps someone hit you on the head with something large, blunt and heavy just now. By the way..." Gil nudged Grul pointedly.

Ooh! Homepage - Blog - Geneforge, +2, +3 - My Elfwood Gallery and DevArt page
So many strange ones around. Don't you think?
Posts: 1308 | Registered: Sunday, September 8 2002 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #30
I could host it as well, I guess... the url would either be something akin to images.polarisboard.org/saunders/canal/ or ermarian.net/canal/ (can't make a new top-level directory there).

There's always blogspot for quick publishing (www.blogger.com).

[ Tuesday, May 30, 2006 13:28: Message edited by: Henry Anthony Wilcox ]

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 6403
Profile #31
As people could probably tell by my sig, I like music. this is the full song:

GALLOWS POLE:

Endless stairs
A guiding light
It seems to shine bright
But it's cold
Wicked signs will mark our way
Wicked signs will mark our way
Mark our way
Mark our way
Mark our way

Call me Messiah - I am god
A true lord but alone
Call me a liar - oh I won't deny
That I'm mad

Am I evil am I good
Mad existence, faith and greed

The universe a gallows Pole
Extinction of the living soul

Towards the sun we'll keep moving
Fate I hold in hand
Dancing 'til the end
I am condemned
Oh I bring all mankind's end
The end
Oh I've seen
All life die

A shattered heart an empty soul
Just one false move and it took its toll
The rising of an evil seed
I can't describe the pain I feel
Outside it's dark inside it's cold
The sun still shines bright
But its time is short

Endless stairs
A guiding light
That once was warm
But now it's bitter cold

It's freezing hearts
It's freezing souls
Soon icy shades will cover all
It pretends to be alive
It pretends to be alive
Be alive
Be alive
Be alive

Collapse of the mother
All will die
The void it frightens me
I've faced the demon
And he dwells inside

And when I laugh it's tears I hid
And when I cry it's joy inside
A foul disease has stained the land
The bitter harvest of a dying bloom
And when I cry it's joy inside
A wicked smile for all the tears I hide
It hurts to hold all the pain I feel
The bitter harvest of a dying bloom

Nothing is real
Nothing but him

Written, of course, by guitarist Jon Schaffer and singer Hansi Kursch.
EDIT: misspelled Kursch

[ Sunday, October 30, 2005 07:53: Message edited by: Infernal666hate ]

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Posts: 883 | Registered: Wednesday, October 19 2005 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #32
Is this yours? If it isn't, I won't bother tearing it to shreds. :P

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 4682
Profile #33
Here are two of mine, both of which were written in the past month, month and a half. My poems don't rhyme, and the lines are determined by how I feel the spaces should be, which is usually kind of weird and it's all kind of random so.....

They told me today that there are no such things as dragons
They told me that I would never go off on an adventure like in my books
Said that those adventures didn't happen
That they were just made up
They told me today I would go through high school
And college
And get a job
Work until I retire
Sit at home until I die
They told me dragons don't exist
So what is it I see out of the corner of my eyes?
I ask
Breaking into their lecture
Shadows
They tell me
Only shadows
Shadows breathe fire?
I didn't know that
I say innocently
The fire is just your imagination
They answer
Unamused
But the fire burns
I protest
Rolling up my sleeve
I have scars
Maybe you should be supervised when you cook
They say
Losing interest in the conversation
I turn away
Trying desparately to save myself
From their words
From their explanations
For their words are cold
They don't burn
They freeze
Freeze the imagination
The burn of the fire is better than the numbness of the ice
For the murderous heat of the fire can also warm
But the ice
Can only
Kill

Music
Just listen to the music
I tell myself
Music won't hurt you
Close your eyes
Focus on the music
See?
Now it's the only thing that exists
There is nothing else in the world
Your only purpose is to be an audience for the music
Feel the beat
Feel how it resonates through your body
Even with the volume turned down as it is
I start crying
Unable to hold everything in
With something as beautiful as the music
Stabbing open all of my wounds
My brain makes associations between the lyrics and my life
I can't hold my own
In this duel
I'm inexperienced
Weak
Stupid
I have no beginner's luck
Yet I keep coming back to it
To the music
Despite how it brings all my worst memories to the front of my mind
Because I know
Once I've seen them all
Once I've withstood this ordeal
There will be nothing but the music
I won't have to think
As long as I keep listening to the music
I will be safe

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Do not underestimate the power of the mechanical pencil.

Join the Dark side. We have cookies.

Played in:
Fiddler on the Roof
Bye Bye Birdie

"Hey, Patrick, feel this random pipe. It's squishy"-Nils
Posts: 834 | Registered: Thursday, July 8 2004 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 6403
Profile #34
Of course it looks stupid written out, it's a song, not a poem, i.e., combined with 2 guitars a bass and drums. If you heard it played out, I can guarantee you would take that comment back.

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??? ??????
???? ?????
Posts: 883 | Registered: Wednesday, October 19 2005 07:00
Shaper
Member # 247
Profile Homepage #35
I have a notebook full of what could be classified poem-like, well not really, any way ... But since the forums censor everything they wouldn't make much sense.

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The Knight Between Posts.
Posts: 2395 | Registered: Friday, November 2 2001 08:00
Shaper
Member # 3442
Profile Homepage #36
quote:
Originally written by VCH:

I have a notebook full of what could be classified poem-like, well not really, any way ... But since the forums censor everything they wouldn't make much sense.
Email them to me?

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And when you want to Live
How do you start?
Where do you go?
Who do you need to know?

Posts: 2864 | Registered: Monday, September 8 2003 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 4153
Profile Homepage #37
Hm... this could take a sec. I'm no expert on poetry mechanics (as the junk I'm going to post shall reveal), so feel free to ignore me.

SupaNik: A little cryptically dark (I probably just invented a word), but still enjoyable. Kinda-sorta thought-provoking.

Synergy: Interesting... I see the gothic part, but not so much the romantic part. Evokes the setting of Lord Putidus to some degree (the fact that my mind is even thinking like that scares me).

Saunders: Enjoyable, in the sense that it didn't appear to have a meaning (that's the impression I got anyway), so I didn't have to strain my brain finding one.

Jewels: Very nice, with suitable wit. Good stuff for grade school (also, dark stuff for grade school).

Aran: The made-up words are reminiscent of Jabberwocky (I mean, lorysbirds?). Still, nice and detailed, I imagine that it'd be good exposition for an RP. Seems like that should part of an an epic poem.

Zeviz: I wrote something like that once, but it was more prose than poetry, and focused on a post-performance theater. Very nice.

Pien': I like how simple the squirrel one is, and the second one... well, honestly, it hurt my brain. Just too complex/random for me, or maybe I just need to let it sit in the back of my mind for a while.

Nicothodes: I like the first one, good message and rhythm. Second one, good as well, but the two longest lines break up the flow a bit too much, at least to me.

EDIT: I forgot Infernal's song: Downright disturbing.

I shall dig up one or two of my less vomit-inducing prose/poems to post, so that I actually contribute something substantial to this thread.

[ Monday, October 31, 2005 22:38: Message edited by: Ephesos ]

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Gamble with Gaea, and she eats your dice.

I hate undead. I really, really, really, really hate undead. With a passion.
Posts: 4130 | Registered: Friday, March 26 2004 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #38
quote:
And looking at the rest of the stuff from that particular RP, all I can say is "wow."
IMAGE(http://www.polarisboard.org/board/html/emoticons/ph34r.gif)

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 4153
Profile Homepage #39
Aran, don't put words in my mouth... I never said that.

Anyway, here's something I dredged up from the darker confines of my iBook. Written for part of a Writing course (in one of the far-too-brief times when we did some creative, not analytical stuff), I rather like it. The MLB playoffs (which were in progress at the time) did kind of inspire it.

I might dredge up another some time... just thought I'd warn people.

"Stress"

Twenty-six up, twenty-six down.
One still remains, glaring defiantly,
9 IP...
0 ER,
0 H,
0 BB.
Your first pitch streaks towards perfection
And misses, 1-0.
The curves sliders sinkers offspeeds shoot across the plate,
Your arm moving faster than your brain.
You stop to reflect and it’s a full count.
As you size up the zone, the crowd stands,
Fielders deep, edge towards the track,
Another missile launched and the crowd falls silent
He pops it backwards over the plate,
The first souvenir of many.
3-2 it remains, your focus shattered,
Wondering what became of the final strike.
Showing bunt, another pitch.
Pulls back and swings foul.
The battle rages,
Pitch count and temper rising,
Unable to finish the job,
Coaching visit to the mound.
Sure, it’s just one pitch, even though
Out of 8, we were in the 4 remaining.
Of 4, we were one of 2 survivors,
And only one can win.
3-3 after six of seven,
3-2 bottom 9,
And facing a BA 1.000.
But after all, no pressure.

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Gamble with Gaea, and she eats your dice.

I hate undead. I really, really, really, really hate undead. With a passion.
Posts: 4130 | Registered: Friday, March 26 2004 08:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #40
quote:
Originally written by Ephesos:

Aran, don't put words in my mouth... I never said that.
Didn't say you did, actually...

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #41
quote:
Originally written by saunders:

Canal was archived by Khothie on his university web space. After four years as a student, he was finally expelled into the outer darkness of gainful employment, and it no longer has a home.
Actually, I haven't written any Canal for a couple of years. Life itself got a bit too gothic for it to be fun.
Maybe some of the lighter strands are due for revival if some kind person could offer a home?

Having dug deep into my sparse funds to get a host for the Encyclopedia and Pied Piper, I now have a lot of space left over (the domain would be ermarian.net). If you still have it and would have me host it, you can email it to arancaytar.ilyaran@gmail.com.

Come to think of it, if you don't need it hosted, could you send it anyway? I'd really like to read it again. :)

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Lifecrafter
Member # 6403
Profile #42
quote:
Originally written by Ephesos:

EDIT: I forgot Infernal's song: Downright disturbing.
You call that disturbing?

Just for the record, I would advise all christians to avoid this post.

SATAN MY MASTER

Satan My Master
I slit my wrists to drain me of my blood
Satan My Master
Up side down I turn the cross of God

Satan My Master
Recieve this sacrifice this blood of mine
Satan My Master
I cut into my rotten flesh your signs

Satan My Master
Remember me when judgement day is near
Satan My Master
Take my hand when Armageddon is here

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???? ?????
Posts: 883 | Registered: Wednesday, October 19 2005 07:00
Guardian
Member # 3521
Profile #43
This is probably my favorite of multiple mediocre efforts at poetry:

Flat-footed, I clomp along
a gravel path. There is direction
but no purpose in this dogged tread
On a walk that serves no function.

Above my bowed head sits a box
once filled with something gelatinous,
raw and alive, but long since frozen
into crystal, numb and yet beauteous.

Only blind particles of information
can survive there, and with two
I confer- one tells me that you were here
The other paints an image of you.

A velvet top hat rests easily on a head
festooned with bounteous flaxen curls
Clad in silky garments of lime green
A wide smiling mouth of milky pearls.

Watching you, every last forgotten ache
comes to me in a rush, compelling me to rest
my tired limbs, while my lips seek out
a familiar, gentle glassy caress.

It is in this attitude that I am encountered
most often, by passerby that unkindly remark
that I lost you in a forty-ounce bottle
and left you drowning in the dark.

But you were lost to me long before first
I felt this blissfulness overwhelm my eyes
And indulging it, brought forth the fog from which
I fashioned for my Hopelessness a hazy disguise.

It's entitled "Hope: The Great Disappearing Act," if that's at all enlightening.

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Stughalf

"Delusion arises from anger. The mind is bewildered by delusion. Reasoning is destroyed when the mind is bewildered. One falls down when reasoning is destroyed."- The Bhagavad Gita.
Posts: 1798 | Registered: Sunday, October 5 2003 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #44
A few weeks ago, I woke up with two lines of a poem in my memory, as if I had heard it recited shortly before waking up. Unfortunately, I forgot most of it before I realized that it could well be a poem nobody had ever written. By the time I found out that was the case, only about two garbled lines remained. I had to fill in some of the words, but the end result was this (no, I don't know what it means either):

We cried your name, the greatest from above
And named the hatred of our spirit love.


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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Shaper
Member # 3442
Profile Homepage #45
Aran - that sounds amazing. Same thing happened to me once, but I forgot it all...

Anyway...

She like to sit and read in bed,
She thinks its cool to bleed deep red,
From the kitchen drawer she took a knife,
With two long slits she took her life.

I like the macabre-ness of it, coupled with the sing-song structure/rhyme.

It took 5 minutes, so don't be too harsh!

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And when you want to Live
How do you start?
Where do you go?
Who do you need to know?

Posts: 2864 | Registered: Monday, September 8 2003 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #46
Uh. I think that if you've got nothing nice to say, well... so there.

Anyway, the first line have bad grammar, and be all in all unrelated to the rest.

[ Sunday, December 11, 2005 06:31: Message edited by: An array cat ]

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Shaper
Member # 3442
Profile Homepage #47
quote:
Originally written by An array cat:

Uh. I think that if you've got nothing nice to say, well... so there.

Anyway, the first line have bad grammar, and be all in all unrelated to the rest.

Yeah, but it's needed for the rhyme. I got the idea from a Tim Burton book I have. And I did say it wasn't serious!

--------------------
And when you want to Live
How do you start?
Where do you go?
Who do you need to know?

Posts: 2864 | Registered: Monday, September 8 2003 07:00
Law Bringer
Member # 2984
Profile Homepage #48
Anyway, in the way of disturbing, this one by Rosycat remains unchallenged.

Googling it just revealed another page at the Young Writer's Club where it is quoted. Mysteriously, its submitter is a 16-year-old girl from Texas - although it was submitted at a time (26 April 2002) when Rosycat was as old as she said she was when she wrote it (11). Unfortunately, Rosy is no longer around to clear up the riddle whether she copied from the older girl, the older girl copied from her, or they are identical, and in the latter case whether she is actually now 20 or 14, and whether she lives in Texas or Ontario. o_o

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Encyclopaedia ErmarianaForum ArchivesForum StatisticsRSS [Topic / Forum]
My BlogPolarisI eat novels for breakfast.
Polaris is dead, long live Polaris.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Posts: 8752 | Registered: Wednesday, May 14 2003 07:00
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Member # 919
Profile #49
Aran, I know the feeling. It's happened to me several times, and also with full-fledged songs. They never turn out as well when I try to piece together what I can remember, though.

Rosy's poem is surprisingly good, all things considered. Texas, you say? Weird...

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And though the musicians would die, the music would live on in the imaginations of all who heard it.
-The Last Pendragon

Polaris = joy.

In case of emergency, break glass.
Posts: 3351 | Registered: Saturday, April 6 2002 08:00

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