Profile for Umbilical Lotus

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Love in General
Apprentice
Member # 7353
Profile #36
I've known far too many people with hideously dysfunctional family lives to believe that child-parent love is perfect and true. Ideally, yeah, you're going to love your kid, and your kid is going to love you, but far too often that doesn't happen and someone ends up on meds.

Personally, I believe that parental love stems from a sense of ownership rather than outside pressure. Whether yours or otherwise, normal or not, healthy or born without something crucial, it's YOURS. Your baby is the smartest and the most beautiful in the world because it is YOUR baby, and your mom is angelic and pure because she's YOUR mom. This sense of ownership can also cause disastrous relationship failures if other dysfunctional elements are present, but eh.

The maternal instinct needs SOMETHING to latch on to. If not children, or loser boyfriends, cats.

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Endure. In enduring, grow strong.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Friday, August 4 2006 07:00
Love in General
Apprentice
Member # 7353
Profile #30
*saunters in, fresh and new-registered, and begins jabbering*

Love is real, despite whatever origins it may have. If something is experienced by the majority of the population and generally agreed upon as being one thing then it is assumed that it is in fact that thing. For some it gets sick or radiant or weird or whatever, but that's life, stuff varies. "True love" is a fictional device used in sugary "chick lit" books that is often (and often disastrously) striven for in real life. This is kind of dumb. Some people can't be happy with just feeling stuff and letting it be - they need the bright shiny happy LOVE OF THE AGES that makes movies happen and bankrupts parents for the wedding. And then unrealistic expectations of realistic things do what they always do: run up against a wall and get horribly mangled, often ending in disaster.

But there can be happy couples in happy relationships that last a damnably long time. If you're in one, it's really kind of nice, but is never going to be without the bumps and awkwardness that plagues humanity. If you're not in one, sometimes you want to stab those who are. We endure gracefully, because we have constant reassurance that we're not unloveable and we haven't failed at life, so neener.

Though of course the measure of a person isn't finding that perfect other to complete them and make them right, but being happy and well-adjusted without having the "need" to be in a relationship. No one's ever completely free of the need for companionship, but requiring a relationship to feel complete is as sure a sign of being broken as is needing no contact with other members of the species at all.

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Endure. In enduring, grow strong.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Friday, August 4 2006 07:00