Who Let The Dogs Out?

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AuthorTopic: Who Let The Dogs Out?
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Peter MacKay is dead.

Oh, sure, he may still have a pulse at the moment. But in a week or two, he'll be packing his bags and heading back to Nova Scotia, because he's going to face the thing that every Canadian polititian dreads: apologizing for something he never said.

Perhaps we can give jilted MacKay some slack. His alleged comment was in response to the Liberals' question of how his dog will benefit from the Clean Air Act; the dog refered being the one by his side a year ago as he gave his televised response to Belinda Stronach dumping him and crossing the floor. We can give MacKay some leeway in responding to the jab in such a fashion: he's not the first Canadian polititian to be overly attached to his dog.
On the other hand, it's all over for MacKay (except for the shouting, which has barely begun). Smelling blood, the NDP are calling for Canadian Standard Response #1: resignation. It's what MacKay is inevitably headed for: he has two choices, equally dismal. The first is biting the bullet (and swallowing his pride) and asking his former girlfriend for forgiveness. However, the moment he does this, he's apologizing for something he claims he never said. On the other hand, if he doesn't apologized, he's doomed as well. Poor MacKay can hardly walk on the streets without being barraged by angry women.

It's only a matter of time before MacKay attracts the ire of the other group insulted by his alleged remark: dogs. Loyal dogs around the country will not put up with being compared to Stronach. Surely the founding dogs of our nation, even Pat himself, are rolling around in their graves.

Perhaps it's all for the best that MacKay takes early retirement. He's probably not willing to apologize to dogs around the world after he did the same for lobsters two years ago. He could settle down in Nova Scotia again and take up a hobby, knitting perhaps. Or maybe he could adopt a dog from an animal shelter. I'm sure a toothless, anemic Chihuahua would be nice.

Of course, if Stephen Harper does give MacKay the axe, he's faced with deciding on a replacement for the position of Foreign Affairs minister. The answer to this dilemma is simple: Stronach herself. Sure, she's not a Conservative anymore, but something tells me she'll be willing to leave the Opposition and get a high ranking Cabinet position. It's worth a try.

For the National, I'm Max Pointy.

Next on the Great Canadian Soap Opera: How Ken Dryden will deal with angering both the Tories and the Philidelphia Flyers.
Posts: 1509 | Registered: Tuesday, January 10 2006 08:00