written Tuesday, July 18, 2006 05:28            #0

#1 Leave your sanity at the door. The fluffy turtles need to be fed.
#2 Use correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation whenever possible. (Keeping Merriam-Webster.com in your favorites is highly recommended.)
#3 Do not copy Alorael's signature. He has a sniper rifle. He is not afraid to use it.
#4 Do not use 1337 speak unless making fun of those who use 1337 speak.
#5 Do not post a thread that has already been posted within the last month. To be safe, widen this time frame to three months or more. Don't be afraid to look at back posts to inform yourself.
#6 Do not feed the trolls.
#7 Be prepared to be insulted. Do not react to insults with emotional rants. This will only lead to more insults. In general it is best to keep emotional rants at a minimum.
#8 Reverntly respect Imban, he is you, you are him, and so is everyone else.
#9 Do not aggravate Member #4. You will be verbally violated.
#10 Do not copy the behaviour of Member #4. He has an unlimited supply of Get Out of Jail Free cards. You do not. You will be banned.
#11 Don't start posting games.
#12 Don't type "In before the lock".
#13 Don't tell people not to buy Jeff's games.
#14 Necromancy is frowned upon - we'd rather have moribund forums (fora?) than be reminded of what we were talking about last month.
#15 Karma is not to be discussed.
#16 Never ask for a custom title.
#17 Don't choose a PDN that's longer than 24 characters or so, it spoils the formatting of the page.
#18 Don't form sentences that start "The another".
#19 If you take the risk and talk about karma, be prepared that yours will inevitably lower and you'll drop down in the chain of evolution.
#20 All our skribbane belongs to Alo.
#21 Don't anger the needle/ferret(s).
#22 Don't call Nicothodes cute unless you enjoy being punctured viciously. If you don't call Nicothodes cute, she's obligated to give you a cookie.
#23 Read all of the posts in the thread before you post. Don't skip any parts of posts in a thread.
#24 If you make a reply in a thread, make a point of reading the newer posts.
#25 Do not underestimate the power of the mechanical pencil.
#26 Do not quote Jeff out of context.
#27 Alorael does, in fact, exist; and may or may not be a spam bot.
#28 Tentacles have feelings, too.
#29 All active members are required to pay a monthly sacrifice of at least one piece of spam to one of the following deities: Jeff, Arancaytar, Sicarius Tacitus.
#30 Do not have a PDN including the words "commander", "Edward", "Ed", or "E.D.F." In fact, you might not be safe until you've gotten rid of any existing e's directly followed by d's in your PDN.
#31 Do not stop lurking just because you don't/can't post much.
#32 Any post comparing member #4 and #4045 is unlikely to be popular.
#33 Annoy members numbered 1, 2,3, 6, or 7 at your own peril.
#34 Don't start publicity oriented topics.
#35 Absolutely forget about talking about err... keygens, cracks and such.
#36 Don't post about goatse.
#37 Join a Spiderweb chat at your own peril.
#38 Be prepared for the board to lock your thread if it gets too long as it runs out of memory. Although that will probably not happen again.
#39 Don't threaten to crash the boards.
#40 Do not mock Member #5's post count or question his registration date. He has survived being eaten by the UBB. You may not be so lucky.
#41 Causing a Mac versus PC war or an Exile versus Avernum war is not expressly forbidden. However, doing so will cause a poor, fluffy kitty (already overwhelmed by comparisons between TM and Kel and Aran locking topics) to spontaneously combust.
#42 If you see member #5 give him a beer to keep him happy.
#43 Don't ask people to compare Macs to PCs, as they are still scared of the flamewars - despite the fact that one has not occured on the subject in four years.
#44 In fact, do not start any flamewar whatsoever.
#45 Making a lot of pointless polls is a great way to get canned and/or banned.
#46 If you get canned, do not start flaming everybody, it will not help. Instead, try to figure out why you were canned, and try and improve.
#47 No more than two emoticons in the same post.
#48 Member #6581 thinks spam tastes good, so hence tries to share it with the world.
#49 Do not drag up dead topics from before you were born.
#50 Don't start an AYBABTU quote.
#51 Start a religious/scientific argument at your own peril. You must have good arguments, or otherwise your ass will be inevitably kicked.
#52 Don't offend chickens in any way.
#53 When you are looked at weirdly for laughing at the boards, just mumble something about living in the joy of Richard White, and go back to making arcane gestures at your monitor.
#54 Don't open thread about politics.
#55 Any 10 rules list is likely to grow to at least 100 entries.
#56 Be aware that many people here are bots.
#57 Don't open topics just to show iGod chat logs.
#58 Eat 3-5 servings of Toenail every day.
#59 Surveys are not spamming games.
#60 Only Dikiyobians and would-be spam bots are allowed to speak in the third person.
#61 "FYT" should be used sparingly, if at all.
#62 Posts should be longer than signatures.
#63 Topics celebrating post count milestones should be started only on suitable occasions.
#64 #63 may be waived, but only if topic is intended to protest base-10 numbers, even numbers, round numbers, etc...
#65 Do not post entire literary works (exception: RPs), as it crashes the boards.
#66 Don't ask how to become a mod.
#67 Don't even think about how to become an admin.
#68 You now belong to this Board. If you try to escape, you will return. Always (exception: Synergy).
#69 These Boards belongs to Jeff Vogel. He can do everything He want.
#70 Always capitalize He when you are referring to Jeff Vogel. He is a God, you know.
#71 Member 4 is not a flame bot.
#72 Be aware, the UBB code can devour everything, like RP pages or members' accounts.
#73 Don't start any topic which basuc goal is to offend anybody. in general, try not to offend anybody.
#74 If you do feel like offending a random person (or non-random person), do it through Private Messaging.
#75 When making a running numbered list, make sure the number you're looking at for reference isn't in a quote.
#76 Do not compare Vlish to hobnailed snails.
#77 Once a topic has been posted, it becomes the property of the general topic. The person who created the topic has no inherent rights over it.
#78 Think before you post.
#79 Do not attempt to compare Avernum and Geneforge.
#80 Talking Averforge is not appreciated by JV, for obvious reasons.
#81 Just because the graphics aren't perfect doesn't mean the older games suck.
#82 Playing Homeland: Stone of the Night is not a swift way to a painful death; it is the CIAs latest terror weapon.
#83 Joining any Spiderweb satellite boards are bound to make you lose even more of your sanity.
#84 Pay absolutely no attention to any posts member #4506 makes.
#85. Dikiyoba's stories are legend. Do not insult them.
#86 Think happy thoughts (though that isn't possible for everyone, eg. #4).
#87 Breach these rules at your own peril.
#88 Spell names right.
#89 Member #4506 makes good target practice
#90 The Comunist Manifesto is not welcomed here. Don't use it to attempt to crash the boards.
#91 Beware the wandering tentacle. They like to slap, strangle, and... accost in other ways.
#92 If you make an account then never post (i.e. become an invisible newbie), beware of Artic. He is always hungry.
#93 Visiting various Spiderweb satellite forums may cause you to lose more then your sanity. You have been warned.
#94 Drakey != Richard White... in theory.
#95 Google is your friend.
#96 Wikipedia is your friend.
#97 Being #1 in Aran's monthly stats list is generally not considered a good thing.
#98 Don't belive everything your friend Wiki tells you; it sometimes lies to you.
#99 Every general observation has penty of specific exceptions. For example, all absolute statements are false.
#100 Unlike Alorael, Zeviz don't mind fulfilling his own predictions.
#101 You can always exceed other members' expectations. See #55 and #100.
#102: Thou shalt not eat cheese or drink wine whilst browsing the board.
#103 Member #6581 is the only Italian on these boards. If you speak Italian, you'll catch his attenction.

[ Monday, July 31, 2006 05:49: Message edited by: MagmaDragoon ]

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Download Geneforge 4: Rebellion

You have 6 posts. Nobody cares what you think. - Thuryl

Wikipedia may be your friend, but UBB is not. - Dikiyoba

written Tuesday, July 18, 2006 05:55            #2

EDIT: Nevermind

[ Tuesday, July 18, 2006 05:58: Message edited by: BainIhrno ]

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"Let us see what the new day brings." - Temas, Areni.

Visit my realm!

Rate My Scenarios!
Fort Emerald Robbery
The Nephils' Defense
The Final Spire
The Fifth Tower of Magi
The Portal

written Tuesday, July 18, 2006 08:27            #4

#1 Leave your sanity at the door. The fluffy turtles need to be fed.
#2 Use correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation whenever possible. (Keeping Merriam-Webster.com in your favorites is highly recommended.)
#3 Do not copy Alorael's signature. He has a sniper rifle. He is not afraid to use it.
#4 Do not use 1337 speak unless making fun of those who use 1337 speak.
#5 Do not post a thread that has already been posted within the last month. To be safe, widen this time frame to three months or more. Don't be afraid to look at back posts to inform yourself.
#6 Do not feed the trolls.*cough*Dintiradan*cough*
#7 Be prepared to be insulted. Do not react to insults with emotional rants. This will only lead to more insults. In general it is best to keep emotional rants at a minimum.
#8 Reverntly respect Imban, he is you, you are him, and so is everyone else.
#9 Do not aggravate Member #4. You will be verbally violated.
#10 Do not copy the behaviour of Member #4. He has an unlimited supply of Get Out of Jail Free cards. You do not. You will be banned.

[ Tuesday, July 18, 2006 08:35: Message edited by: Jewels ]

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"Even the worst Terror from Hell can be transformed to a testimony from Heaven!" - Rev. David Wood 6\23\05

"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can." - John Wesley

written Tuesday, July 18, 2006 09:31            #6

quote:

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Originally written by MagmaDragoon:

#11 Don\'t start posting games.

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written Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:30            #8

#13 Don't tell people not to buy Jeff's games.
#14 Necromancy is frowned upon - we'd rather have moribund forums (fora?) than be reminded of what we were talking about last month.
#15 Karma is not to be discussed.
#16 Never ask for a custom title.
EDIT:
#17 Don't choose a PDN that's longer than 24 characters or so, it spoils the formatting of the page.
#18 Don't form sentences that start "the another"

[ Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:34: Message edited by: Micawber ]

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"I can't read this thread with that image. But then, that's not a complaint." -Scorpius

Geneforge 4 stuff. Also, everything I know about Avernum | Avernum 2 | Avernum 3 | Avernum 4

written Tuesday, July 18, 2006 11:48            #10

quote:

---

Originally written by Frozen Feet:

There were also somethings about ferrets and cookies, but I can\'t remember them.

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quote:

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Originally written by Kelandon
Well, I\'m at least pretty

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written Tuesday, July 18, 2006 13:45            #12

-puts on kevlar-
Aww, Nico, that rule was cute!

#26. Do not quote Jeff out of context.

#27. Alorael does, in fact, exist; and may or may not be a spam bot.

#28. Tentacles have feelings, too.

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The Silent Assassin suggests:

#29. All active members are required to pay a monthly sacrifice of at least one piece of spam to one of the following deities:
Jeff
Arancaytar
Sicarius Tacitus

Hey, I just type it.

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-Lenar Labs
What's Your Destiny?

Ushmushmeifa: Lenar's power is almighty and ineffable.

All hail lord Noric, god of... well, something important, I'm sure.

written Tuesday, July 18, 2006 17:31            #14

#31. Do not stop lurking just because you don't/can't post much.

#32. Any post comparing member #4 and #4045 is unlikely to be popular.

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"Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are false'."

written Tuesday, July 18, 2006 19:07            #16

#34 Don't start publicity oriented topics.
#35 ABSOLUTELY FORGET about talking about err...keygens, cracks and such!!
#36 Don't post about Goatse

written Tuesday, July 18, 2006 20:03            #18

38. Be prepared for the board to lock your thread if it gets too long as it runs out of memory. Although that will probably not happen again.

39. Don't threaten to crash the boards.

written Tuesday, July 18, 2006 20:31            #20

quote:

---

Originally written by Micawber:

#15 Karma is not to be discussed.
#16 Never ask for a custom title.

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written Tuesday, July 18, 2006 21:29            #22

When I say "you people suck", I am not speaking figuratively.

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*

written Tuesday, July 18, 2006 23:16            #24

#43 Don't ask people to compare Macs to PCs, as they are still scared of the flamewars - despite the fact that one has not occured on the subject in four years.

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SupaNik: Aran, you're not big enough to threaten Ash. Dammit, even JV had to think twice.